《The Kathaldi Chronicles》Ch. 91 - Book Two Begins!

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Look, I know what people are saying about my first book, Children of Kathaldi. I’ve heard the talk. I’ve even read the reviews. To be honest, it hasn’t improved my opinion of people very much.

“He does not write using the appropriate formal structure.” That one cracked me up. And made me a little angry. I’m just trying to tell a story. My story, in fact, and I am telling it my way. Plus, I didn’t go to one of your fancy schools so I can’t exactly tell it in your fancy pants, grammatically correct, manner.

Another great one was: “I did not see the growth arc I was hoping for. This is not a wise old man looking back at his younger self making mistakes and growing. This is an unpleasant man looking at a slightly younger version of himself and learning nothing.” This is true, mainly because this stuff happened just a few years ago, remember? If you wanted me to wait until I was old and wise to write this, if that ever happens, then you shouldn’t have bugged me so much to put pen to paper. Maybe I should have made that clear in the first book. I am still young and virile. Maybe I’ll learn some stuff in a decade or two. Maybe. I actually might have learned something during my travels to Aandarvi and I just haven’t noticed yet. Who knows?

There were also a lot of comments about how I hate women, or degrade women, or don’t value women, or look down on them. All I can say to that is, yes, I have a lot of issues. I’m not perfect. I have a lot of anger for some reason. Sorry about that. But I love women. Maybe too much. Definitely not too often. That’s impossible.

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One of my friends brought up the fact that I insult my readers too much. That really got me thinking. How much is too much? After a lot of thought all I can say is that most of the people I’ve met are stupid, or evil, or rude, or dirty, or poor, so I’m just playing the odds. Haven’t you readers ever met any people? Weren’t most of them awful? Be honest. Although, just to be clear you should know that I am most definitely talking about you, dear reader. You are intelligent and discerning, obviously. You bought my books, after all. I have nothing but respect for all of you and hope for nothing more than the chance to have another of my meals as a tavern interrupted by you so we can become fast friends. There! That should shut whichever one of my friends said it up. I want to tell you, so you’ll know that even my friends can be dumb sometimes, but I don’t want you to not worry about them dying in this book and the exciting concluding book, which has a working title of ‘The Amazing Hero Dirk Does It Again.’ Like I said, it’s a working title. I know I have spoiled the fact that at least one of my friends lives through all this but I’m okay with that.

A lot of people have also felt the need to comment about what a jerk I am. I have several things to say about this. First, I left a lot of what I think of as the boring stuff out of the first book, in an attempt to make the book more interesting for you, the readers. I didn’t use the jakes the entire book! You’re welcome. Some of that boring stuff was me being nice. I will try not to make the same mistake in this book. In fact, I can promise you some real gushy, almost sickeningly nice, stuff from yours truly in the upcoming pages. Because of that, I feel that you don’t yet know the real me. The fully fleshed out complete person. I didn’t realize you needed that, or even wanted it. I thought saving the world was the important, and interesting, part. Noted. Second, I think a lot of what people thought of as me being a jerk was just me being funny. Very funny. Maybe even hilarious. After all, I’m trying to make this thing entertaining, people. Lighten up.

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The last complaint I got quite a bit was usually along the lines of: “You sure wrote a lot about food. And inns. Don’t do that so much.” I don’t know what to say to that. My guess is that the people who thought that haven’t travelled a lot. Maybe they should move out of their parent’s carriage house and get a job. Perhaps travel a bit. Maybe kiss a girl. Because if you travelled for week after week on horseback, and by riverboat, you would also care a lot about food. And inns. Eating and sleeping are the most important things when you are travelling. Unless you are a huge hero, like me, and are being chased by the Kathaldi. If you are me, not getting murdered is the first thing on your mind. However, food and inns are a close second and third. Luckily, in this part of the story, there isn’t nearly as much travelling. There’s a little bit, but it definitely isn’t the focus. Hopefully, that will make you all very happy. Somehow, based on my observations of human nature, I’m guessing it won’t.

That’s all I’m going to say about this. There isn’t time to discuss every single complaint I read, or heard about, from the people who weren’t there. Or even the people who were. Not if you want the rest of the story to ever get finished.

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