{ Name: Altorus Phantus [abilities] }

{ Race: Vampeerus (Phantu) [traits] }

{Age: 12 months}

{ Strength: 3 } { Dexterity: 56 } { Endurance: 5 } { Survivability: 300 }

{ Intelligence: 132 } { Wisdom: 64 } { Charm: 10,238 } { Leadership: 1 }

….. Not bad for half a year of growth, especially since I can’t even walk properly yet… and somehow I seem to becoming even more intelligent. FEAR MY MIGHTY BABY BRAIN!!!!

It has been an eventful 5 months since I met my new bodyguard/servant/shadow/cultist Ferasia. With her around me ALL THE FUCKING TIME mom finally thought it was “safe” enough to leave me alone for more than two hours, and she even let other people enter the room when she wasn’t there. It was then I learned that I was kinda famous, and had all sorts of neat nicknames like: False Prince, Unworthy, That Damn Thing… then there were those hidden gems like: Snack, Bite Size and Tasty…. My personal favorite was The Forbidden Fruit. Makes me seem like some legendary item, you know, if I wasn’t 90% sure it meant they wanted to eat me….

But unfortunately for them I have another nickname, My Angel, and the person who gave it to me doesn’t like it when she hears those types of “Mockery of the Divine”. I don’t know how I could have thought Ferasia was ever a sweet, naïve, and innocent girl... the first time I saw her I-WILL-KILL-YOU-AND-EVERYONE-YOU-HAVE-EVER-KNOWN-SLOWLY smile I thought I was gonna shit myself, and I CAN’T even shit anymore… I even felt sorry for the maid she gave it to… she fainted after she felt the almost tangibly thick bloodlust.

That was also the time I confirmed that doing certain actions will increase certain stats, and started my baby-aerobics-training. It consisted of: scooting, flopping around, attempting to crawl, attempting to stand, contorting my flexible baby body in weird ways which I have dubbed Super Baby Yoga Fun-Time!... I am sure It looked like I was possessed by the vampire equivalent of Satan to the servants, but mom just thought it was cute while Fera thinks everything I do is perfect and worships the ground I scoot on. That meant there was no problem with me doing that… every day… only when certain servants with mean or disturbing nicknaming habits came to clean… while I stared at them… in the eyes… and giggled creepily…

So I tend towards vengeance as my first response to any action against me that I dislike. Sue me, they had it coming anyway…

Another fun little discovery was that Feraisa sleeps in my room… and talks in her sleep… Now I’m not an idiot, even if I don’t always make the SMARTEST of choices, but I am completely confident that my Void Math lessons, patent pending, and my Advanced Calculation ability made me the greatest mathematician this world has ever seen. So after the first night with “AHHHHNN, AHHHHNNN!!! More my angel! MORE!!!” I put 2 and 2 together… After a long night of sleepless delusions and fantasies featuring a certain slender short haired girl in skimpy maid clothes at least… and came to the conclusion that Fera here must have gotten a drink of my blood somewhere and somehow. How and when that is Sally only knows but judging by the fact that she isn’t looking at me like a living Crispy Cream, I assume she had a lot, or at least enough to get into the late stages and is exempt from many of the… side effects… of my blood.

But hey on the bright side that means I have a totally loyal and devoted slave now, one that is easy on the eyes and makes the most erotic moans when she sleeps soooooo…… I have decided to embrace the situation, it could have been a lot worse.

The only thing I would change would be including her in Bath-Time-Embarrassment-Hell, now with twice the embarrassment and time!

Why would I be against an attractive girl getting naked and joining me in the bath? Because of course I am going to ogle her… which made mom jealous… which she responded to by lecturing/threatening Fera… which made Fera cry… which prompted me to stop mom by crying, cuz I’m a softy for the tears of pretty girls and fluffy animals… and my crying made mom cry… so there we all are crying in the tube, and no one is stopping because apparently making me cry is a great sin to Fera, and makes mom feel like she is a bad mother…

All in all it was a giant mess and something like that happens EVERY SALLY DAMN TIME!!!!!

The other important inclusion to my life was the addition of story time to my oh so busy schedule of drooling, sleeping, giggling at the ceiling, weird baby aerobics, and plotting a way to use my blood to conquer the world and make a harem of 10,000 loyal slave girls. Apparently mom read something that said it was important to stimulate a baby’s mind and the best way was by reading to them which helps foster learning and reading skills, or some non-sense like that. I was actually looking forward to story time as it would be better than the tedious boredom that I had to deal with. The only problem was the ones who picked what to read to me was mom and Fera, and their choices were… different…

Fera was fond of books on biology, tactics, and weaponry which while INCREDIBLY useful, were kinda weird picks for a baby’s story time reading. And the way she went off into let’s call them… colorful… personal experiences about how this weapon was best for this, and if you cut here this would happen… Needless to say I am glad that Fera is on my side.

Mom’s tended toward the I-HAVE-A-SERIOUS-SON-COMPLEX-AND-WILL-FORCE-HIM-TO-SHARE-MY-FEELINGS approach to stories. They all seem to feature a prince and a queen, something always happens to the prince so the queen must save him. Then because of their “POWERFUL AND MUTUAL LOVE” for each other they come out ok and live happily ever after. Now I know shes making this up because: 1 I am not an idiot. 2 after the first three pages I read with Fera, I could read the language as easily as I could my old worlds. And 3 mom forgets to turn the pages of the book she’s holding when she gets really into the story, usually around where the queen gets ready to go save the prince… Now I love the woman, I can admit that now, but COME THE FUCK ON!!! At least let books be sacred and untouched by your fantasies…

But today, TODAY is the day I have been waiting for…

It’s time for my birthday celebration!

Ok… in hindsight I should have seen something like this coming… oh Sally the stares. THE STARES!!! Blink you little FUCKING MONSTERS!!! STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT IT IS CREEPY AS ALL HELL!!!

So I’m sitting in a supped-up high chair at the head of the long-table. Mom had decorated a small greeting hall in the palace for my party, and she seems to have invited every noble vampire family with a kid under 100 and looking like they were at most 4. This would be touching and all, but once again everyone is looking at me like I’m their favorite food and I’m screaming “eat me! COME ON! EAT ME!!!!”

The worst ones are the kids though… nothing is worse than creepy children, it’s like they came out of a Stephen King novel… I expect them to start pointing at me and start chanting in unison “One of us…” it is weirding me the FUCK out.

Oh Sally I’ll do anything, just keep them away from me! Fera protect your master! SIC ‘EM GIRL!!! SHOW ME YOUR ABILITY AS A GUARD!!!

“Thank all of you for coming. We are here to celebrate a very important day, the day my son turns one and begins his first step to eternity. Now let’s all give him his gifts!”(mom)

Mom went first and gave me an absolute FUCKTON of stuff, toys, games, books, and a poorly knitted grey outfit that I’m sure she made herself. Then came Fera who gave me an engraved knife… because every baby needs to be packing some protection apparently.

Then came the horde of parents who gave me blood of all different types, I’m sure they were only doing it to suck up to mom. Their kids just kinda followed them and kept staring at me the whole time. When ever they got really close I would imagine them eating me alive like some sort of horde of soulless zombie demon children. Luckily for me it didn’t last long before mom moved on to the next portion of the party.

“Alright everyone that’s enough excitement for my little Altorus, now who wants blood-cakes?” (mom)

I guess I could try one to test out the new teeth that grew in, still no fangs though I wonder if I get those after I lose my baby teeth?… oh well that doesn’t matter right now, but I am NOT eating THAT for my first meal! Maybe I should just give in and try regular blood for once…

Servants, who I had overlooked due to the overwhelming presence of the creepy children, came and gave everyone what looked like wet red-velvet cupcakes. The parents weren’t so bad, they either refused politely or ate the cupcake things like a regular person. Their kids however all ate their cupcakes slowly… WITHOUT BREAKING EYE CONTACT!!! It was like they were imagining that I was the cupcake.

That was all I could take for the day, it was time to pull out the big gun.

This is it, with this she will HAVE to end the party. She wouldn’t miss this for anything. Alright Alt, time to sell this… You’re an innocent child, that’s it give the cute happy smile… there we go. The PICTURE of innocent purity! I deserve an Oscar… now just for the delivery.

I looked at mom, looked her right in the eyes and made sure I had her attention. Then I smiled and opened my mouth.

“Ma…. Mama….. Mama! Mama! Mam-………..“

Suddenly I felt like I was floating and there were two somethings that were soft, squishy, and somehow firm all at the same time against my face and body.

Wow this is dark……………………………

“Oh Altorus, you called me Mama! I love you! I love you! I LOVE YOU!!! Mommy loves you SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!! Your sooooooo cute Altorus Mommy almost can’t stand it!! Say it AGAIN little Alt! Call Mommy ‘Mama’ AGAIN!!!” (mom)

……………………..OH MY SALLY ARE THESE HER TITS!!!!

This is AWESOME!!! I can’t get this type of contact time in our bonding “Bath-Time-Embarrassment-Hell”…. Though she could be gentler with a one year old… geez although the tightness is kinda nice………..

Wait I minute… why does my chest hurt… how long has this been? Don’t I need to breathe? I mean I am a vampire and undead, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need oxygen… SHIT THIS IS BAD!!! THIS IS STARTING TO FUCKING HURT LIKE A BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!

“MMMGHHHWWW! MMMMMMGGGHHHHWWW MMMMMMGHHHWW MMMMMHHH MMHH Mmmhh mm…”

“Yes Mommy loves you too Altorus! I need to go put this in the journal while the feelings are still fresh!!!! THE CELEBRATION IS OVER!!! YOU MAY LEAVE THE GROUNDS NOW!!! THAT’S AN ORDER!!!” (mom)

Wow… I can barely even feel anything anymore…. Well this is a pretty awesome way to die! I just won’t say they were my mom’s…………………………………… Still beats being eaten alive… Whelp Sally looks like I will be seeing you soon….

Everything started to fade away…