Somewhere in the depths of a thicket filled with strange plants and stranger animals laid an innocent cottage.

Built with smooth white wood and with little glass windows, the building was only the size of a large room and shaped somewhat like a mushroom. It was painted to look like a toadstool as well.

The door of the home opened, revealing a little kitten. The little creature exited as he closed the door, taking a deep breath.

"Ahhh!" it sighed in contentment.

Indeed, the outdoors was the best! The curious feline wondered why his long eared buddy would spend all day making strange contraptions at home. That was so boring! Going out to adventure was much more fun.

Patter patter...

The sound of a butterfly's wings was heard by the attentive kitten. He turned his head, noticing a shimmer of colours before him. It was a huge butterfly!

"Meeoooow! Pretty!"

The cat pranced and hopped toward the butterfly, trying to catch it with all his might. The butterfly was quick to dodge however. Despite its quick reflexes, the butterfly was terrified. Who knew if it would slip up all over a sudden and be caught? It was then when the butterfly's keen sense of smell found the scent of catnip flowers.

There! The butterfly flew above the catnip plant.

Finally, the menace was distracted. The kitten drooled at the sight of the exquisite plant, the butterfly long forgotten, much to the insect's delight. Crunching and munching sounds soon followed. Honestly, the butterfly could have just flown upwards to the sky and saved itself a lot of trouble, but it didn't think of that.

"MEERRROWWW!" The kitten meowed loudly, scaring the fleeing butterfly.

There it was, the high he craved! Kaleidoscopes of colours and strange illusions dotted the vision of the kitty.

Strange creatures seemed to materialise out of thin air, a huge rainbow butterfly and a bird shimmering with colours! The non-existent delusions flew away from the feline with high speed, almost as if taunting the kitty to pounce. Well, from his point of view at least.

The kitten chased the illusory creatures all the way back home, smashing into the door and drooling as he rolled around on the ground. The door creaked open seconds after the crash.

"Yowi! Why chu ish eat catnip again?"

The bunny who had opened the door was displeased to see her friend on drugs yet again. It wasn't a serious problem if she were to be honest, as catnip didn't actually do any bad. But it was annoying to clean up all the drool and scratches from the aftermath! The bunny almost considered leaving the kitten outside the house until the high wore off, but she didn't want her friend to be eaten by a prowling predator in his current state.

"Yerrroooooww! Pooop!"

Yowi screeched as he charged into the house and started rolling along the ground like a super-charged hamster wheel.

Yep, too high on catnip. The bunny sighed as she headed back into her room. The comment was not baseless however. Yowi had a terrible stomach ache, probably from something he accidently ate along with the catnip. He rushed to the bathroom, crashing into the door hard enough to jar it open and rolling right onto the 'toilet'.

"Mrrrreeooow!"

A massive dump of diarrhoea splattered the uncleaned cat litter. The kitten sighed in relief and jumped off, rubbing his tummy in discomfort. He then slumped on the floor in a pile.

Then something odd happened.

A blue spark appeared in mid air, flying into the litter. The waste glowed blue for a second, then all of it shot into the air, swirling as it formed a vaguely humanoid shape with two eyes and a mouth.

"Whooaa! Yowi eat tuu mach catnip!"

Yowi jumped in surprise, staring at the creature curiously.

~~~~~

As the creature gained consciousness, it stared in surprise at the panel before it.

Welcome User! You are a: Info Stats Class Skills Name Unnamed Level 0 Species Cat Dung Golem (Pet) Gender None Age 0 seconds HP 20 MP 20 Name Value STR 2 MAG 0 DEX 10 AGI 5 DEF 5 INT 90 Name Level Progress Name Level Progress

The dung pile wasn't interested in whatever the heck that was. Conveniently, the table disappeared the moment it got annoyed. With it's unusual eyes, it saw a kitten, somehow knowing instinctively that Yowi was it's master.

Master... Serve.

"My lord and creator, what is my purpose in life?"

In most situations, Yowi would have been in shock, screeching as he ran away from the smelly thing. Drugged Yowi was different however, slurring oddly.

"Chu waz kitty litter. Chur purpose ish to make kitties feel better!"

"How would I make you feel better then?"

The drugged kitten considered the question seriously.

"Yowi ish not sure. Chu can't handle food, chu smells funny, and Yowi dun wanna be petted by chu..."

"But my lord! My existence is to serve!"

The golem seemed very distraught at the lack of orders. Yowi pitied the poor thing and gave it the task best suited for it.

"Chu can clean da litter box!"

"Yes! I could!"

Please to finally have meaning in life, the golem took station beside the litter box, looking exactly like a statue made out of poop.

The bunny opened the door at this very moment, entering to check the cause of the commotion. Then she saw the shitty statue and screamed.

"AHHHHHHHH!"

Why would Yowi make such a horrifying thing?