《Aegis: Welcome to the End of the Universe》Chapter 8

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Bernard finished drawing in the dirt. "So just imagine you're standing in the middle of this. Two o'clock is that way, ten is that way, six is behind you, and so on."

"Couldn't I just say, 'behind you?'"

"You could, but what if it's not right behind me? What if it's behind me and to the left a bit and you only have a split second to warn me?"

"I don't know, let it chew on you?" Henry answered with a smirk.

Bernard's expression darkened a bit. "You know what? Never mind. I won't teach you a way to warn someone about something about to attack them. It's not like I'm the one that would need such a warning. I'm the guy the forest talks to, I know where everything in the area is."

"Sorry, I get it though, you don't need to keep going over it." Henry's stomach grumbled. "Has the forest told you about any food? Food you didn't cook?"

"Look, I said I was sorry, the caiman was delicious, how was I supposed to know that cougars tasted so terrible?" The cougar meat had been a disaster. It turned out beyond tough, and was the gamier than anything he had ever eaten, and his dad had liked to hunt. Worse than that, his dad liked to hunt and was an even worse cook than Bernard was.

He shrugged and pointed. "That tree there has edible fruit, but it's all the way up in the canopy."

"I'll get it!" Henry said before he darted off and began scaling the tree with the kind of energy you typically only see in the young.

"Oi! Be careful! We don't know what's up there!" Bernard called out. He was a bit annoyed, but it was too late to stop him, and there was no way he would be able to catch up with him.

"You mean the trees didn't tell you?!" Henry called back down without slowing.

"Oh, I hope the monkeys get him." He grouched. At least they had slept after eating the cat and the kid had restored his ki. He could restore a bit through meditating, they had found, but it took a good night's sleep to recover fully.

The meditation was a bizarre experience for Bernard. Probably for Henry too, but Bernard had never seen a kid just sit there quietly, as still as the trees around him, for over an hour. When he had been that age he barely slowed down, let alone stopped.

After about ten minutes Bernard began to worry. Two minutes later a slightly battered looking Henry came back down the tree with a thunderous expression and an armful of what looked like giant green beans. "I hate monkeys." He said crossly. "And you said fruit, not vegetables."

"I don't think trees care what we call things. Give me one, I'll try it." Bernard said, trying his best to not gloat over the fact that Henry had indeed gotten into some monkey business. He studied the thing for a minute before shrugging and breaking it in half. There were lumps of white cottony flesh wrapped around big black seeds, and he somehow knew not to eat those. "Don't eat the seeds." He told Henry before popping a bit of the flesh into his mouth.

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His eyes widened a bit at the flavor. "It tastes kind of like ice cream!" He almost shouted. He ate another piece. "You really should try it. These things are delicious." Henry was giving him that flat look kids always give adults when they think they're trying to trick them into eating vegetables. "I'm being serious. Actually, don't try it. More for me. Gimme the rest of them. Mind going and getting more? Or was this all of them?"

Henry glared at him when he suggested getting more, but hesitantly tried a piece. His eyes widened too. "It really does taste like ice cream!"

Henry ultimately declined going back up for more. As good as they were, he didn't really want to deal with the monkeys up there any more than Bernard did. Instead they snacked on the beans as they walked. "I thought there were supposed to be a lot of birds in the jungle?" Henry asked after a while. "I only saw a few up there."

Bernard nodded a bit absently, busy listening to the forest. "Most of them are above the monkey layer, I think. You can hear them if you listen, and there's definitely a lot of them, but we can't get past the monkeys to see them. Not easily at least." It was honestly a shame, because he liked birds. A lot of the best ones came from South America too. Like macaws and… Okay, he liked parrots. Particularly the ones that could learn words.

They set out once more after eating. The conversation they had maintained for most of their time together fell into a lull as they walked, Bernard thoroughly enjoying the morning and the hike. Particularly now that he had a Feat that allowed him to practically glide across the forest floor. It was effortless, and only Henry's drastically greater energy level let him keep pace with Bernard now.

Eventually, they once again hit the river. None too soon, since they were both thirsty, but they decided to only drink and not cross. Instead they followed the river's path from inside the treeline. The shore was thick with vegetation the deeper forest lacked, and it made it a pain to traverse.

It was a remarkably peaceful walk. Birdsong and bug calls filled the air, with the occasional grating screech or hoot of a monkey or two here and there. Around midday a peal of thunder split the air and all the wildlife went briefly silent. It seemed that after several days of traveling through a rainforest he was finally going to see some rain.

Anticipation built as the trees began signaling good water to each other. Thunder began to roar almost continuously as what was apparently an awe inspiring storm broke over the forest, but after fifteen or so minutes Bernard came to the realization that none of the water was making it through the canopy.

"To hell with that." He growled, turning for the band of jungle that stood between him and the river. "I'm going to go get rained on. You coming?"

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Henry shrugged. "Sure, I guess." Bernard was pretty sure Henry was thinking some disparaging thoughts about the strange behavior of adults at the moment, but he could care less. He wasn't about to miss his first storm in the Amazon. The place was literally named for its rain. He didn't care if it was foolish or a waste of time. It wasn't like he was on a schedule.

Before long rain began to patter off of his armor, and with a thought his helmet folded away from his head and he reveled in the sensation of fat raindrops landing on his face. The water was warm, and the rainfall got thicker the further he went, until it was a torrential downpour. "How on Earth is the forest keeping all of this water from hitting the ground?" He asked in astonishment, even as the rest of his armor slid away and planted itself just behind him.

An idea struck him and he set the thistle down as well, then began vigorously scrubbing at his skin. The sheer volume of warm water coming down helped make up for the lack of soap, and his clothing had long since ceased to exist. He was pretty sure his armor had either consumed it or subtly destroyed and removed it. His shoes had been utterly mangled by the armor when he first put it on, and discarded the first time he removed the armor.

All he had left was his very sorry looking underwear that had somehow survived everything so far. He was considering getting rid of those as well as he showered. The idea of littering in the forest was too abhorrent though, and instead he washed them as best he could. A glance to the side showed that Henry had followed his lead and stripped down to wash.

Once he was as clean as he could get with just water and his hands, he spread his arms wide and let the awe-inspiring might of Mother Nature wash over him for a while. When he was satisfied he stepped back into his armor and collected his now fully repaired thistle. It actually looked like it had changed slightly, now that he paid attention to it. The spines around its head were fewer, but larger. No doubt to prevent taking as much damage in future battles.

Henry had already returned to the deeper forest, and Bernard followed in his wake. The earthy aroma of fresh rain was deeply satisfying, and he felt more relaxed now than he had in a good long time. Not since before he had lost his old job to some punk kid that was willing to do it for a much lower wage.

When he caught up with Henry he noticed that some water was finally making it through the dense foliage of the canopy, running down tree trunks and falling in streams or splashes where leaves failed to hold it all. They took a moment to forage more food, Henry already trusting in Bernard's ability to point out edible plants completely. I bet pointing the kid in the direction of something that tastes like vanilla ice cream and looks kind of like cotton candy has a lot to do with that. Bernard mused as Henry scaled a tree to retrieve some lumpy orange colored fruit.

Unfortunately this latest treat went over like a lead balloon. It was citrusy, which was good as he didn't want to get scurvy, but quite sour. They ate them, even though it took quite a bit of cajoling to get Henry to eat more than a bite or two. "Trust me kid, you really don't want to get scurvy. Ever wonder why pirates and sailors back in the day were always missing most of their teeth? Once they figured it out they used to cart around barrels of limes with 'em. It's where the phrase 'limey bastard' came from… Uh, don't say bastard."

An hour or so later Henry broke the companionable silence they had settled into with a question. "It sure has been quiet today. Where do you think all the monsters are?"

Bernard groaned. "Why would you do that? Asking things like that almost always results in the thing you mentioned showing up. I have no idea where they are, and for the most part I'm willing to let them continue staying away from me for now."

"But without monsters we can't level up." Henry complained.

"We also can't get eaten alive in horrible agony without monsters. Plusses and minuses." Bernard replied with a shrug. "Seeing as so far half the critters in this forest have tried to use me as a chew toy, I'm plenty satisfied with not seeing any for a while."

Henry was about to say something when a bonafide arrow thunked into the tree next to him. They whirled to face the direction it had come from and saw an Indian man in a leather loincloth and facepaint pointing a freshly nocked arrow at them.

"See kid, don't taunt fate. Sure, he's not a monster, but he doesn't look all that friendly either." Bernard said as he put his hands up, hoping this could be resolved peacefully. He wouldn't mind experiencing a bit of civilization, even primitive civilization, for a while.

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