Cruel to be kind.

The morning of the Thursday after the raid was a pleasant one for Gaius. He spent it doing normal things and resting, something he needed badly after the last few days. Between his extra planetary stay, the assault and the changes to his disciples he had had a busy week.

However all good things must come to an end and soon it was time for his classes to start. He headed to his now familiar training grounds and for the first time in a while he arrived first. Feeling refreshed he decided to move his body and began running until all his students had gathered.

“Good morning everyone.”

“Hey there Gaius.”

“I have heard of your deeds on Tuesday. Great job.”

“Hello Master. Thank you for coming see me yesterday.”

“Good morning.”

“Good morning Master.”

“Let's begin. But before we start the classes I have two announcements. First, since Terumi received a relic of ancient origin that was actually mine to begin with, I believe the secret can't be kept much longer. Is that a problem Jian?”

Jian looked surprised at his proposition and thought to himself. He eventually nodded.

“As long as they swear not to spread it around that is fine.”

“Good. Let's begin with the start. Seventeeen hundred years ago a weird child was born…”

As he related his story many reactions were made. Excluding Jian, who already knew it, the story seemed a little unbelievable. It was pretty fantastical, even for the Hidden World. By the end of it Akechi was worried, Kotone was overwhelmed, Terumi was actually not that weirded and Kishi… Kishi’s feelings were complicated.

“Are you alright?”

“I am, Akechi. Thank you for the concern but I have grown accustomed to the modern world.”

Kotone let out a nervous laugh.

“That was more than I expected.”

“What did you expect?”

“I don't know something more like you were a great man that was put into stasis. Not a tale of persecutions and war.”

Gaius smiled and waited for more comments.

“Nothing to say Terumi, Kishi?”

“Doesn't really seem to far fetched after all I've seen.”

“It is Terumi. It is.” Said Jian.

“I… My apologies Master. I never realised the burdens you carried.”

Gaius looked at him finally understanding many things from that comment. So that was what was eating at him.

“Apologies accepted. If that is all I have a second announcement. Terumi aside I have nothing left to teach you. You have learned all my skills.”

That caused a great reaction. Jian was elated, his lips quirking upwards. Akechi laughed uproariously and stood proud. The younger members were however more surprised than happy.

“Already? It's been only one month Master!” Asked Kotone.

“Reminder that I only had Touki for a year before I began my classes. That I had something to teach you at all is already impressive.”

“Then are the classes going to end?” Kishi sounded worried.

“No. You still have to practice and master what you've learned so you will continue to practice it under my supervision. I will also oversee new techniques you develop.”

“In other words, from now on it will be free study but we can go to you for advice.” Summarised Terumi.

“Got it in one. Since this is the plan I will now concentrate on Terumi. The rest of you should practice and come to me if you have doubts or to evaluate your progress.”

He looked around and all his students signaled that they understood.

“Well then, let's begin. First of all Kotone you must get accustomed to your new abilities. Akechi, they involve illusions, do you want practice against them?”

“Sure. Come with me Kotone.”

“Terumi you are with me. Jian and Kishi practice on your own. Try to think of new techniques for yourself.”

Once he finished organising the class Gaius made them start practicing. He then turned to Terumi.

“Now to see what you've got.”

Gaius’ assessment of Terumi was that his strength and resilience had doubled but nothing else had changed. Since that didn't really seem like something worthy of the rumoured power of Nephilim he made him go through many exercises to see if there was something else. Gaius wanted to awaken his storm abilities to be concrete.

Results appeared when he threw Terumi in a deep, narrow pit in the ground. The exercise was designed to provoke fight or flight responses due to claustrophobia. Since Terumi’s abilities would be natural to him Gaius reasoned they should be instinctual and stress may bring them forth. He was right.

Terumi tried climbing the walls at first, but they were warded to be slippery. With that possibility closed he tried jumping but he, while nearly reaching the surface, didn't make it. As his frustration simmered he felt something bubbling within. His next jump was accompanied by a gale that pushed him upwards and made him go beyond the opening of the pit. He had a moment of panic when he fell to the ground head first, but he was unharmed.

Gaius smiled at him and helped him rise to his feet.

“Nice progress Terumi.”

With the class nearing its end they didn't have much more time to do anything but teach him how to harness that feeling again. When the class ended Terumi could form a weak breeze or generate a little electricity.

“Not bad for a first day.” Commented Gaius. “Now you only need to practice more. I can't help you with your natural abilities, so next class you are back to ki control.”

“Understood Master.”

“As for the rest. Is there anything you want to ask of me?”

His students shaked their heads and answered negatively. There hadn't had enough time to form any doubts. Except Kishi that is.

“Master.” He said seriously.

“Yes?”

“I have something to speak to you about.”

“Right now I don't have time for a long talk, but after my next class I'm free. Come to my house then.”

“Understood.”

“Well then. Class dismissed.”

That evening after classes Gaius found himself hosting Kishi.

“Do you want anything to drink? You were eighteen right? I have water, wine, beer, brandy, various kinds of sodas, and some other liquors.”

“No thanks. Also the legal age for drinking is twenty.”

He did our Gaius some wine. Afterwards Kishi took a deep breath.

“Master, I have to ask. Why am I growing so slowly?”

Gaius looked at him and smiled kindly.

“I think you want to ask. Why despite all my hard work I am growing both to slowly for my taste and slower than Terumi and Kotone?”

“Yes.” Kishi clenched his fists. “Terumi was completely new but in one month he has approached my twelve years of hard work. Kotone works with both magic and Touki but she is still at my same level of skill despite the fact that I work more. Why is this?”

Gaius looked at him in the eyes.

“Simply put, the world isn't fair.”

“What?”

“While I believe everyone is born equal it is true that not everyone has the same talents. Supernatural creatures are for example much more suited for magic and ki, but humans are better at science and technology.

Bluntly put we are people with short legs trying to run alongside the children of Olympic medalists. Normally hard work can bridge the difference but you are comparing yourself to two of the most powerful creatures in the world. Kitsunes and Nephilim are among the greatest of non-divine creatures, with nine tailed kitsune being able to fight on par with Gods and Nephilim at their peak requiring direct divine intervention to be wiped out. Compared to humans you are actually incredibly strong for your age.”

Kishi looked a bit sick. He didn't want to accept that he was weaker simply because of his birth.

“What about you?” He asked.

“Do you mean why am I so much stronger than you or how I can equal them?”

“Both.”

“The first one is simple. You got your Touki from training, for that you must have trained so much that you neglected other aspects of your life. But Touki is not only physical but spiritual, if you want to have a robust and malleable Touki you must live life. Have friends, go out, suffer and recover. You have a strong spirit, but it is immature.

Let me tell you, if you manage to resolve your current uneasiness and envy you will grow more powerful than ever.”

“So I only need to experience life?”

“Yes. Your fellows have strong bodies and instinctual control of their Touki, but they lack your spirit. A spirit tempered in pain and sweat. You may not be their equal in skill and techniques right now, but as they exhaust their potential and have to begin to hone their spirit you will catch up to them. They have an initial advantage bt the hard work you needed to reach the place they were born to will be your greatest ally.

The things you lack are a technique that is yours. Like my transformations, but yours. Using others techniques will never be as good as using techniques of the same level made by you. The second thing you need is to expand your spirit through life.

If I were to use a metaphor I would say that the spirit is a lake. Mine is a sea of mercury. Kotone’s is a lake of water. But yours? Yours is a puddle of mercury. You have neglected your life Kishi. If you want to grow truly strong you must see life, see the world and take it in.”

“Then what should I have done?! If I didn't neglect my life I wouldn't have acquired Touki, but my neglection of my life made me weaker than I should be?! There is no right answer!”

Gaius looked at him like he was stupid. So much so that Kishi actually calmed down and began to feel uncomfortable.

“Jian is forty eight years old and he is Rank 6. You are eighteen and Rank 3. Why do you act like you are nearing the end of your life? You are young, if you have neglected your spirit then that is fine, you have a century to increase it.”

Kishi looked bitter.

“You are only a year older than me and are much stronger. Have you truly experienced so much more than me? I have suffered as much as you.”

A slap resounded through the room. Kishi looked at Gaius astonished. He was looking at him in disdain.

“Wha?”

“I'd like it if you didn't belittle the hardships I've gone through. You coddled child have no right to envy me, when my power was born from tragedy. It is an insult to me and all my compatriots that you believe the fact that you were not loved by your family equals our suffering. Do not do it again.”

Kishi felt furious.

“What do you even know about my pain?!”

“Endo Kishi of the Endo Clan. Son of the Clan Head he was considered weak and talentless and as such his parents never really paid attention to him. He trained and trained but he never got their love as he wished. Five years ago there was a tournament to show their growth and you were consider so lacking you were expelled from the clan. Eventually you drifted to the association. Isn't that right?”

Kishi’s fury was stopped cold and he felt weak and exposed.

“You know?”

“Do you think I wouldn't investigate why you listed for power? That I wouldn't worry if I was teaching a future monster? Of course I looked into your affairs.”

“If you know then why do you-”

“Because your story isn't really all that tragic.”

“What?”

“It is quite common honestly. Millions of children in the world are going through that, and that is a tragedy indeed. Children that wish for their parents love but for some reason never get it. My parents were like that too you know? My paternal grandparents only cared about status and my father was but an accessory to that. My mother didn't even know his parents, she was adopted by a community of christians after she was abandoned in the streets to die, a distressingly common practice in Ancient Rome.

Your situation is sad yes, something that shouldn't happen. But it is not something that excuses your arrogance and envy. And particularly not your belittlement and justification of genocide and crimes against humanity. Distant parents are not on the same level as the persecutions by a long shot. Do not try and say you have suffered as much as I. You haven't, you are just a child lashing out at the world right now, furious that you don't get what you want. You do not see that many others are in the same situation as you.”

“How are you so cheerful then? If you have suffered so much.” Kishi said disdainfully, mocking Gaius.

Gaius looked at him in derision.

“Resorting to sarcasm now? Truly a child. But the answer is simple. Pain isn't the end of all things, just an obstacle to surpass. Pain and suffering are mere standing blocks, those who surpass them grow and become happier through it, their character built and improved. Those who let pain dictate their lives? Who do nothing but whimper and cry? Who stagnate and blame the world for their own inability to surpass pain? They spend their lives in misery, with that being all they know.

It is fine to suffer, to grieve. To stop your life temporarily. But if you refuse to accept that life is equal parts pain and happiness you will spend the rest of your miserable life running away from life.

I would understand if your pain was greater, if a great tragedy had fallen unto you. But millions go through what you've gone and they rise up from it. Nobody died, you weren't violated neither in body nor spirit. Your pain isn't so great that it justifies how you treat others as inferior, how you see them as nothing but obstacles to leave behind.

You are nothing but an arrogant brat! Unable to see others as people, only seeing them in relation to how they compare to you! Is it any wonder your spirit is weak?! You have the emotional maturity of a ten year old!” As Gaius spoke his tone heated up. “Wake up for your dream! You are but a man, life doesn't revolve around you. You aren't a protagonist that goes beyond all others just a normal man. All the people you disdain as lazy are better than you. They know to live life, you are just a brat with an obsession. Ask yourself this question, why do you want power?”

“I-”

“Isn't it to make your parents love you. Don't you deep in think that you will only be worthy when they accept you? Yes I can be cheerful after going through pain because I have surpassed it! Because I know life is more than just satisfaction and wish fulfilment! Because if you live you suffer, and if you want to be happy you must surpass said suffering!”

Silence fell on the room. Gaius was trying to calm down after his outburst, while Kishi didn't know what to say. Gaius was the one that broke the silence.

“You were injured and healed wrong. So like a bone I must break you again so you may heal correctly. You are weak.”

“I am not weak.” Tried to refute Kishi, but he said it feebly, showing Gaius was getting to him.

“Yes you are. Weak of spirit. Your life is structured upon gaining the approval of others and yet you don't approve of anyone. You have no purpose, your whole life is dedicated to an obsession. Kotone works to master herself and have the power to defend herself and those she loves, she lives to be happy. Terumi works to better himself, so that the he of yesterday is always inferior to the he of today, and he does that because he believes that will make him happy. I grow strong because I enjoy the feeling of being better than I was yesterday, much like Terumi, but unlike him I have no goal I just want to be the better me I can.

You grow stronger for the sake of being accepted. That is fine in itself. But in order to do so you ignore all those who already accept you! Kotone worries about you, Terumi tries to be part of your life. Is the love of parents that wouldn't love you for who you were so much important than the love of those who see you?!

You are not living, you are surviving. Even a hedonist has a goal, he lives for the pleasure of the moment. Even an indecisive teenager has a goal, he wants to enjoy life and fears the moment when his current pleasant life ends and work starts, since his life will never be the same. Or love, or friendship. You? You are wandering, seeking an ill defined strength with all your self, hoping that will bring you satisfaction. You don't know what you want!

Just that wouldn't make me mad. Many people are lost, not knowing what they want. And it is my duty as a christian to show them the way of living a full life, which in my opinion is following Christ. But even if they don't want that life I will try and show them a purpose, so they may live life both happy and good. Why would I get mad that I get to perform my duty?

But you? You consider all those who don't seek strength with the same fervour as you inferior. Lazy, weak willed you call them. That may be right, or not. But you have no right to disdain others for not following your way of life! If someone doesn't believe strength will make them happy why should they abandon everything to seek it?! Why are they inferior for doing what their heart desires?!

You are prideful, arrogant, believing yourself the pinnacle of existence. And if you know anything about Christianity you know pride is the worst sin in our books. That is why you make me furious. You are egocentric! You aren't the centre of the Universe! Just another insignificant human that doesn't understand there is nothing wrong with being insignificant and develops an inflated ego as a defense. You have yet to understand that everyone around you have their own lives. Lives you have no right to judge! The only way you could ever judge someone is if their way of life purposely and consciously causes harm to others. But that isn't the case here, isn't it? You just refuse to accept anything that contradicts your worldview!

You are weak of spirit. You are weak of mind. And finally you are weak of strength.

If your parents truly seek to only love the strong it isn't any wonder they didn't love you.”

Once he was finished with his speech, meant to break everything Kishi thought to be true, meant to break him out of the web of misconceptions and blindness he had tied himself in and force him to change how he thought, Gaius fell silent of words. But his eyes were eloquent staring at Kishi, to see if he could refute him. If he actually had some conviction in his way of life.

He didn't. Kishi only felt silent and cried, Gaius’ words harsher than he could handle. With his face de of strength broken only Kishi’s deepest self remained. A child, starved for love.

Gaius continued staring for some time before his expression relaxed. His eyes were now kind.

“Kishi.” He said tenderly.

“W-what?” He asked defensively.

“That you can't refute me shows you see reason in my words. As such I ask, what do you want to be?”

“What do you mean?”

“As I said before, you are young. Now is the age in which you change. So tell me, what do you want to be? To do?”

“I…” Kishi paused. What did he want indeed? He wanted strength to get love, but would that love be as genuine as one freely given? Was his desire for strength wrong?

He thought, and thought, and thought. He thought for hours, while Gaius simply watched. What he decided now was his choice only, Gaius wouldn't try and sway him.

Eventually he came to a decision.

“I want to be strong. But the kind of strength that allows me to be happy even through pain. What do I need to change? Should I stop training?”

“No.” Gaius shaked his head. “Doing what you did until now is a good way to keep going even through uncertainty, indeed doing nothing only makes you stagnate. The strength to face life can only be acquired through living though. You can train but you can't only train. Go out, make friends, lose friends, love, be heartbroken, be loved back. There is no set way off doing it, it is different for everyone.

There are two things I recommend.”

“What are they?”

“First, get a therapist.”

“Huh?”

“It is their job to help people like you. Having someone to speak, that can listen to your worries, helps a lot. And who is better for that than someone you can sue if they misuse your confidence? Legal obligation to keep professional secrecy helps a lot with trust issues. Do get a good one though. I can't help you with that. I recommend asking Akechi, she seems like she would know some.”

Kishi was a bit astonished.

“That doesn't sound like you.”

“Hah! It doesn't, it really doesn't. I've spent a whole month updating myself on mental healthcare, so I know what I am speaking about. What would I have given for having one on my time. Oh well, it worked out in the end.”

Kishi laughed a little.

“Alright I'll try it. What is the second?”

“You and I are going to do a bit of shock therapy tomorrow.”

“What do you mean?”

Gaius only smiled mysteriously.

“Youlll see. Come tomorrow at 9:00. We have some places to visit.”