Chapter 2

Bored

I’m totally bored out of my mind. Oh, don’t get me wrong, this whole situation is amazing and all, but the overwhelming amounts of nothing actual to do, is mind-boggling.

“Display status”

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-Showing status screen

/Name: ??? -name not selected

/Race: Mutated microorganism

/Title: The little cell that could

/Age: 2 weeks

/System skills:

Inventory Crafting

/Current mods:

Tiny energy generator

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What would you do if you saw this kind of status? No health bar, no energy meter, no map indicators, no explanation of skills or mods. Nothing.

“But mister cell, what about the inventory or crafting? Aren't those amazing?” - Someone might ask.

No, currently they are not, and one of those almost killed me already!

Okay, okay let me explain. As a person with gaming experience, after noticing that I feel nothing, hear nothing, see nothing except the blue boxes, I did the first reasonable thing I could - try to experiment with my skills. I actually got a nice surprise, as it seems whoever created this system left gifts for newbies. There, in my inventory, sat a blue coloured box with a red ribbon on it.

It was a gosh darned gacha machine.

Really? Incredible design choices here. Instead of fixing all the other issues I Already listed, we have a gacha machine. Oh well, after taking it for a spin (it disintegrated after one use) I’m now a proud owner of my very own tiny energy generator, that I immediately put to work in creating more energy for me.

“Yay, free energy,” - Is what I would say if I had anywhere to put the bloody thing.

That leads me to the crafting system. It’s empty except for the choice of building more tiny energy generators.

“Cost” - you might ask?

Half of the elements in the periodic table…

What’s with this over realistic setting? Name one game where you need to build everything from the atomic base up. What’s wrong with just going by magical McGuffin element “plotdevicium” as a basis for all crafting? I want a refund on this game.

Anyway, once I saw that the list made it clear that 90% of the total is covered by water, I thought I at least got that covered. How hard could it be to collect water anyway?

Apparently, if you don’t kill yourself in the process, not that hard.

So, you know how gamers like to know their limits clearly? How would you test the limits of your inventory? That’s right, you pull as much stuff inside as possible. I presumed I had some water around me and as I tried pulling in some, it really happened. I was a proud owner of 1 nanolitre of H2O. So here is where things went wrong as my gamer mind screamed - “Dude, you got to test this shit out! Push the limits, abuse the system!” One litre of water coming right up! Done, just like that, I had litre water and I was basically committing suicide.

Here are some questions for you - “How small is a cell compared to a litre of water? What would happen, if you were a small cell floating in liquid under the mass of water and a litre of H2O around you was replaced by nothing?” If you can answer all these questions, or better yet, figure things out before rushing like a moron - good for you! Cause I sure as hell couldn’t.

So for the last 2 weeks, I was greeted with a new message right next to the status screen:

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-System warning:

-Critical system failure! All mods disabled Energy levels critical Inventory system unavailable Crafting system unavailable System is in recovery mode

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As far as I could tell, I was a broken wreck floating somewhere in the Pacific ocean, with no land in sight.