《The Gate of Shadows》Chapter 25: Ready as I will ever be.
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When Fenris finally showed up later that day, he only stepped into the room to collapse onto the bed. Not a word left his mouth before his head found the pillows. It was almost as if he had not slept in all the days since he was away. All I could do was help him off his shoes before tucking him in for the night.
Not a word was said when Melody left for the night. After she made sure I had enough to eat for the night. The dark circles under his eyes were so prevalent that I did nothing to bother his sleep. Instead, I headed back to search more about the moonstones, so I could use them correctly. The incantation to activate the spell was not hard, and it would last until the morning. However, the other things I needed for other preparations needed were not as simple.
Shade was my only company while Fenris slept soundly behind me. When my eyes could not stay open any longer, I found myself in front of his bed, wondering if it would be okay to join him. He had collapsed there because it was the closest one to the door. Even so, I was hesitant.
The festival was only one week and a half away, and he was already busier than ever. My time with him was shortening, and I did not like it. Though I could not imagine how it would be when he spent the night with his future wife. Jealousy was a horrible thing to feel. It felt like my heart was crumbling under the weight of envy.
Not wasting another thought, I climbed into his bed, even though I tried my best to not wake him. I laid next to him and hugged him from behind. The warmth that radiated from him was comforting to me. His scent filled my senses. One that I craved for the longest time. For the first time in three days, I had no nightmares or dreams, just a deep sleep.
The next morning, when I opened my eyes, Fenris was already up and getting ready to leave once again. Noticing I was awake before I could say anything to him, he came towards me and kissed me lightly on my lips. I thought it would be short, but he pinned me down onto the bed, deepening the kiss.
For a moment his action surprised me, but quickly relief spread through me. His touch replaced Alijah's, who had plagued me over the past three days. Pulling away slightly, he glanced over to my hand before turning his gaze back onto my face. I knew already what was going to come out of his mouth, but instead of worrying, all I could feel was content.
"Anything you want to tell me?" Fenris questioned me, eyebrows raised.
His amber orbs melted my heart. He suspected how I might have gotten the injury in my hand. A question I had rehearsed in my head enough times to know what to answer before he even arrived. Even though his voice was full of skepticism, it tickled my ears. Reaching to touch his face, I smiled, just happy that he was here with me.
My reaction caused him to kiss me once again before I could say anything to answer him. Happily, I returned the favor. We made out for a while, unable to progress any further because of my cycle. He never touched me sexually when I bled down there. Separating for air, he waited for my answer.
"I tried to help Melody cook and the knife just slipped." I lied, short on breath.
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He sighed in response, kissing me again. Before pulling away soon after, licking his lips.
"You know you are not adept at cooking," Fenris said, appearing annoyed that I would have injured myself like that.
After all, I knew full well all I could do with a knife was to cut myself.
"I know... but I wanted to help her. It was not fair for her to do all the work." I echoed some truth into my lie, hoping it would be enough for him to believe me.
It was unfair for Melody to do all the cooking, but I had not tried to help her. Instead, I tried to aid her with her curse that he knew nothing about. It was not in Liam to tell him, either.
"Be more careful." Fenris worried about me, kissing my forehead lightly before standing up from the bed.
The moment I saw him pick up his bag, I knew he was leaving. It pained me he was leaving so soon after being away for three days.
"You have to go again?" I pouted, feeling neglected by him.
I was mostly jealous of whatever was taking all his attention lately. Though it slowly made me understand how Layla felt when he was with me. He spoiled me.
"Yeah, the preparations are being annoying. Ryker with his stupid barrier crystals is going to be the end of me." Fenris growled, annoyed that he was away from me too.
Even though it was pulling him away from me, I saw the chance to get information.
"Barrier crystals?" I asked, wondering what they were.
At the top of my head, I could not remember a thing like that existing. It would be something I had to research. Maybe a complication.
"Yeah. With all the attacks on Lycans, Ryker decided to enclose the whole Festival for the seven days." Fenris informed rolling his eyes, not too pleased with the results.
It only caused me great anguish. Enclose? He could not mean.
‘No... If... this is true, then I...’
Everything would fall apart. I would not be able to help Melody.
"B-but... t-that means..." I stuttered to say.
He glanced down to the floor, knowing that he would be away from me for longer than he ever had been. Three days at a time already was too long. It marked the longest I had been without him. Even when he trained, he always came back at night.
"Yeah, I will not be here for a week. But do not worry. Melody will be here and if..." Fenris tried to downplay the situation, not knowing what turmoil I was in.
Everything depended on me being able to reach him. If the crystals could even enclose Lycans, then what hope would a mere human have? None. And the way he made it sound, it was like I could not at all.
"Melody is not you!" I snapped, not being able to hold the pain that it instigated within me.
It had been three days without him. I could not imagine seven. And not only that, but I also needed to be with him when the blood moon came. If I could not manage that. Then everything would fail.
"I know... it will be hard for both of us, trust me," Fenris reassured, grabbing onto my hand.
I pulled away and placed them where my chest ached. It hurt. It hurt so much. It was the first time I had ever felt like this. So many emotions at once. Was it the stress of it all? Or the jealousy that someone was taking his time?
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"Will you be with Layla throughout the festival?" I asked point-blank, avoiding his gaze.
He seemed to be caught by surprise by it.
"What no." He quickly replied to my bold question, causing me to turn back to him.
"Then... Why can't you stay here with me?" I pleaded.
He sighed in response.
"You know, during the red moon, I cannot be anywhere near you. It is not safe." Fenris informed sternly, placing his bag next to the door.
"But..." I tried to argue with him.
I knew he would never allow it to happen, yet I needed it to happen.
"Lily, I will be alone during the red moon if that is bothering you." He announced.
I glanced back towards him.
"Alone?" I echoed the word.
He nodded, hoping that would calm me.
"Yes, alone. They are separating me from the rest of the group. My little playground, Ryker called it. Liam will fetch me the next morning, and hopefully, I will not rip his head off when I see him. No one knows how I will react to the moon.” Fenris sighed, shaking his head slightly.
“Honestly, rather be placed in a basement. Where they would chain me up with the strongest metals, they can find and leave me there until I regain my senses again. But Ryker and the other elders refuse to do it that way." He informed, thinking that it would make me feel better.
But it did not. However, there was nothing I could say to change what would happen. He himself would not allow it to happen, either.
"I see," I whispered.
Fenris took the chance to make me smile.
"Lily... after the festival, I will make it up to you for days to come," Fenris promised.
His words caused my cheeks to burn.
"You better..." I mumbled.
He chuckled at my response.
"I would make it up to you right now, but..." He started, only to be interrupted by me throwing a pillow on his face.
"Do not!" I yelped, throwing another pillow at him.
He caught this one, though, with a smile that caused my heart to skip a beat. It was almost as if I had activated the playful nature inside of him. Placing both pillows back on the bed, he climbed back onto it, pinning me down onto the bed once again.
"There is still a bit of time before Melody is here." Fenris purred into my ear, kissing me once again.
Even though my emotions were genuine when I confronted him. My attempt to get information from him was successful. Not knowing when the next time I would feel his lips on mine, I indulged myself with him. However, the back of my mind tried to solve all the issues that he had just brought up.
Fenris would not be available to me as easily as I wanted him to be. It seemed the night of the blood moon would need more planning than I first thought. Especially those crystals would be the real problem.
The only barrier crystals I later found on the web were made with dragon scales and some elven magic. They prevented any living thing from crossing the lines where it stood. Even Lycans that laughed at most magic had issues crossing them, if at all.
At least Ryker was taking the situation seriously, but it brought me a great inconvenience. How could I cross that barrier if it were the situation at hand? Before I could try to go any deeper into it, a knock came from the door, interrupting us. It caused Fenris to pull away from me, leaving me panting for air. A curse left his lips, tracing my face and lips with his fingertips. Our time was up.
Before Fenris dared open the door, he took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself. He left me dazed on the bed. I could only sit up when he opened the door for Melody. She quickly snickered upon seeing the condition I was in. I did not think I had ever been so embarrassed before, but somehow, just from looking at us. She knew something had happened between Fenris and me.
Before he left the room, he informed me he had made me some tea and had left it in the thermos in the fridge. Always... caring. Once he was gone, Melody was relentless in trying to figure out what had happened. She did not allow me to feel a moment of loneliness while she was here.
After Melody's drill, I calmed down enough to try to problem solve once again every factor that had arrived. I knew how I would gather the energy, but not how I would get to the source, Fenris. The only advantage I had was that he would be alone, but getting to him would be near impossible.
Upon further research, those barriers were war grade, from what I gathered. And they could only be taken down from the inside. Or by the switch that activated them, which would be heavily guarded.
I did not doubt that Ryker had Fenris's barrier switch on him. He had just made a hard task near impossible. An entire day went past without being able to figure out how to get to Fenris on the day of the blood moon. On the next day, hours passed by. Melody happily hummed in the background in the small kitchen.
I laid my head on the table, feeling like it was a task that I had to do to get my thoughts in place. That was when Shade sat in front of me and suggested something I had not dared to think about. She was utterly insane.
'Lily, why not use the power of the nether realm.' Shade suggested like it was nothing, triggering me to frown upon hearing her.
She could not be serious.
'Soul Cairn.' I corrected her, remembering Alijah's words.
I shook my head immediately after.
'Impossible.' I quickly rejected the thought.
She tried to persuade me otherwise.
'Don't you need it to lift Melody's curse?' Shade argued her point, causing me to sigh.
She was right. I could not reach Fenris unless I used the power of the other realm. The barriers repelled any transportation magic that came from normal means. Yet the power from the soul cairn might be enough to pass through it.
'Yes, but...' I trailed off, not knowing how to speak to her about it.
She already knew everything I felt. After all, she was another part of me.
'Lily... try to control it. I know you have the power to do it.' She encouraged me.
I rejected her suggestion yet again.
'No way.' I replied, not wanting to think of the consequences that could happen if I failed to harness that magic.
'All you need to do is open a portal like you did when you saved Fenris.' Shade continued to pursue her point.
I glanced at her before gently squishing her ears in my hands. She made it sound so easy. When in reality, I did not know how that even happened in the first place. The squishiness of her ears brought some ease within me. I slowly let her in. After all, she was my one staunch ally.
'It terrifies me.' I pointed out, wanting to deny using that power for anything else than the necessary.
After all, the last time I took two bracelets off, the whispers drowned me. Although, I had opened it with none of my bracelets off. The emotions had been too strong.
'From everything you read, and it was a lot. I see no other way.' Shade assured me, pawing at the bracelet that Fenris had given me when I was a child.
'Maybe with that you will find him in all of that chaos too.' She suggested.
I grabbed hold of it. Even though I wanted to deny her every point. She was right. I needed to control this power. To use it to my advantage and free myself from it. And it seemed like it was even more imperative. There was no way other than dying to cross that barrier, and I was no necromancer.
I closed my eyes while I tried to remember some of Tania's teachings. She was the only one who had ever tried to teach me how to control my emotions without the inhibitors. Ever since she was sent away all those years ago, my lessons had stopped, but I still remembered everything she taught me. Reminiscing about my times with her made me miss her dearly. She was probably the only person who lived through the fall and still saw me like a normal girl, though a bit brittle.
Even though vampires could not do magic, she offered something else in return. After all, magic training was not what I needed. After Stella had drilled me with all the basics and advanced techniques. When she tortured me. Even if the order prevented me from knowing anything else by keeping me in the kid section of the library.
Stella had already trained me with more spells that my mind could carry. And now all of them laid in the book in front of me. Well, most of them. Standing up from the chair, I laid down on the bed. Shade, who seemed excited to see what I would do next, followed closely behind me. Taking a deep breath, I glanced over at Melody, who seemed happy to taste the results of her labor.
"Melody... Whatever you do. Do not interrupt me." I warned her only for her to glance over at me, confused by what I meant.
"What are you going to do?" Melody asked, holding a spatula full of cream in her hand.
"Something idiotic," I replied.
She just stood there befuddled, only to realize I was taking off one of my inhibitors.
"Oh... okay... I will be over here if you need me. For you know…" Melody trailed off, going towards a corner of the room.
Her silly reaction caused me to chuckle in response. My goal would have to be achieved with only one inhibitor off. After all, I had done it before with them on. That also should have been enough to activate a small portal. After all, that was all I could fathom to control in the short time I had.
Once it was off, whispers invaded my thoughts. I tried the techniques that Tania had taught me long ago. Back then I did not see any use to them. After all, I had the bracelets that prevented me from feeling anything. But maybe she foresaw the day they would stop working. Maybe that was why she drilled into me how to calm myself in different situations.
Sitting up, I did breathing techniques to clear my mind. It was almost as if Tania were there, telling me what to do.
'Take a deep breath. Yes, that's it. Now clear your mind of any thoughts. Think back to a point in your life where you were happiest and let go of everything around you.'
How many times did I tell her it was impossible? She just kept pushing me forward. I felt nostalgic while her voice continued to ring in my ears.
'Keep trying. Keep going. You will get it, Lilith.'
Slowly the whispers died down while I found myself in a clear state of mind, only to be interrupted by Melody's pan falling on the floor. The loud noise was startling enough to bring back the whispers with vengeance. I had to clap my bracelet back on. Melody profusely apologized.
I could already hear Tania scolding me for not blocking out my environment efficiently enough. It would take more practice to get this right, but it was enough for one day. Closing my eyes, I threw myself back into the bed, hoping that I could figure all of this out in time for the blood moon.
It was not like I thought it was impossible to do this. After all, I had done it by mistake when I lost control of my emotions. Shade was right, but it would not be easy to do it on command. And when I did it, I would go into the soul cairn for the first time by myself. For Melody's smile, though, anything would be worth it.
Days passed while I rehearsed everything I could. I was on one bracelet for a couple of hours before the whispers went out of control. From what Shade suggested, the soul cairn would try to appease my request. If I could keep it in mind clearly long enough to accomplish it.
However, that was the only card I left to fate while the rest I made sure I was ready for. I had all the materials I needed but one... Fenris's blood. He had barely come around since the last time, and when he did, he would just pass out right where he stood.
Multiple times Melody and I had to help Fenris onto the bed and by the next morning, he was already gone. All these turns of events had left me severely neglected, even after my cycle was done. When he said after the festival... I did not think it would literally be after the damn thing.
I also did not want to steal the blood from him, but it seemed like I would have no choice but to do so. We were on the last day before the Festival began. It made this the last time I would see him. If I failed to create a portal at command on the night of the blood moon. It just gave me more motivation to succeed, no matter how dangerous it would be for everyone.
Instead of telling Melody the truth of what I was planning on doing, I lied to her about how I would collect the moon's power. She thought I would cast a simple spell and the moon's power would flow into the stone. Then to her. But the reality was not as simple as that. No... to gain the power I needed to break her curse.
It would have to come straight from Fenris. And to accomplish that. I would have to make love with him during the blood moon. Once I did that. If he did not rip me apart during the process, I would come back to the room to break her curse. But for all of this to come, I needed Fenris's blood. He had promised to spend the last few hours with me, but even though I waited for him the prior night. He did not show until the morning of the festival.
There were many setbacks, but what bothered me the most was the fact that for almost two weeks. Fenris had gone none further than a kiss. When he returned in the morning, Melody stepped out for a bit to buy some things. My wolf rushed inside the bathroom to clean himself, leaving me to wait for him outside.
Even though every fiber of my being wanted to go inside the shower with him. I did not dare go in. Time was short and if I even felt his tender touch. A few minutes would not be enough to satisfy the urge that had swelled within me. That was also why he did not dare touch me further than a kiss, too.
The time we had left together would not be enough to satisfy each other to the extent we desired. So instead, he waited for the moment we would be together again without interruptions. Or so I thought and wished. I had never felt this way before, though.
The sexual frustration was drowning me. Once he stepped out of the shower, it took everything in me to not pounce at him. I truly was addicted to him... but the knowledge of what I knew was about to happen comforted me a bit. After all, I would need every bit of energy to keep up with him that night.
Or so I kept telling myself to curve the feeling of withdrawal that I was having. Fenris was unaware of everything when he sat in front of me. I prepared myself to ask him for his blood. Although... I was thirstier in more ways than one. Almost like a vampire. The dark circles under his eyes were still prevalent. I was sure he had not slept since the night before, either. It worried me.
"I am sorry I did not make it last night." Fenris apologized, leaving me feeling empty by it.
It was not what I wanted to hear coming from him, but there was nothing I could do about it, either.
"It is fine you were and are busy." I tried to hide my discontent.
However, instead of letting it go, he pulled me from the chair I was in onto his lap before resting his head on my shoulder. A curse slipped from his lips while he breathed into my neck. Was my scent just as pleasing to him as he was to me? This was not healthy for my heart, though.
"I want you so bad, Lily." Fenris purred into my ear, triggering my cheeks to turn a shade of pink.
Maybe... I was not so far off before, in my thoughts. One of his hands held me tightly to him while the other traveled up my thigh and into my... Before he could touch me, I grabbed onto his limb, knowing if he did what he wanted, it would leave me in a mess. No matter how much I wanted him or how badly my lady bits itched and throbbed for him, I needed to stay strong. Or so... I wanted to believe.
"You cannot. Don't you have to leave in a couple of minutes?" I tried holding back, keeping a goal in mind.
He sighed before kissing me lightly on my lips. The kiss was not enough... but it had to be. Though he seemed a bit off.
"Yeah... Sorry." Fenris apologized for letting temptation get the best of him.
Again... it was not what I wanted at all. For a moment, I tried to bring up the courage to ask him what I needed, only for him to trace his hands down my hair. He tried to create chatter with me to make up for the time we had been apart.
"You have not asked me to cut your hair in a while. Are you letting it grow?" Fenris asked, curious about my answer.
I had not thought of my hair at all since all of this began. It was getting longer than I usually had it, though I did not mind it.
"Maybe..." I mumbled, triggering Fenris to smile happily upon hearing me.
It was almost as if my answer was something he wanted to hear in a long time.
"That is good!" Fenris said, happier than I thought he would be.
He wagged his tail so effortlessly. His smile was poisonous to me. Unable to hold it any longer, I grabbed onto his hands. Before finally letting go of the dreaded question that plagued me.
"Can I have a few drops of your blood?" I suddenly asked.
Fenris's cheerful expression swiftly turned into one of bewilderment. Not that I blamed him. It was totally random.
"What?" He blurted out, utterly baffled by my request.
I closed my eyes and got ready for the fight I thought would happen.
"Please..." I begged him, feeling he would reject me.
"For what do you want it?" He continued to query, trying to quell his confusion.
"I... want to make a charm to feel you are here with me," I answered, knowing it was a lie, but it was not.
I would feel him and be with him because of it, but that was something he could never know. For a moment, I felt like I was in a sinking ship. He pulled me up to gaze at him, worried about me.
"Lilith..." He called out.
Not letting him finish, I kissed him and grabbed him by his shirt. Almost as if I clung to him. I did not allow him to kiss me back, though. I pulled away as quickly as I started before glancing towards the floor. I was breaking. My lie would not last much longer.
"Please..." I begged again, closing my eyes, waiting for the rejection I thought was coming.
Instead, Fenris pulled me back into a kiss, this time deepening it. His tongue entered my mouth. Only pulling away to let me breathe while I struggled to find air. His eyes seemed to glow lightly.
"Fine..." Fenris panted a bit for air.
Unable to contain my happiness, I kissed him again. I was thankful he let me in without a struggle. Grabbing a glass container that was on the table, I placed it nearby. I reached for a small knife that was also close by. Unlike Melody, who had her beast sealed up by the curse, Fenris did not suffer from that affliction.
A little needle would not be enough to make him bleed. I had to slice his finger deeper than a needle could go. He would heal almost instantly too, so it was not a big deal for him. But I still hated the fact that I had to draw his blood.
I tried to prepare everything while Fenris held me by my waist. Happily, I sat on him with his tail on my lap. Teasing me, he blew into my ear, triggering a shiver to run down my spine. I glared at him. Instead of being intimidated by the fact I held a knife, he chuckled, enjoying my reaction.
I grabbed his hand in mine, huffing a bit at him. He really was too playful for his own good. Yet I could not find it in me to hate that about him. I adored it so much that I enjoyed his loving smile when he was playful, even if it was bad for my poor, delicate heart.
Fenris's hand did not tremble at all. It was almost as if he fully trusted me. It pained me somewhat because I was taking advantage of that trust. However, it was not like it was for free. He licked my neck while he distracted himself from the pain by touching me tenderly.
Without wasting another thought, I sliced his palm, causing drops of blood to fall into the glass bowl underneath. After the blood stopped coming down from. Instead of reaching for another cloth to clean his blood, I instinctively raised his hand to my lips before kissing it slightly. It was something my mother did to me when she was alive whenever I injured myself.
When I realized what I had done, it was too late. Fenris had grabbed my head and pulled my lips onto his, shoving his tongue into my mouth to meet with mine. Even though he was trying hard to hold back, I had awakened the wolf within him with that simple act. His hand traveled down to my most sensitive area while his eyes glowed.
Fenris pushed me against the table, not letting me get a word in, before grinding himself on my bum through my dress. The only thing that snapped him back was when Melody knocked on the door. Upon noticing what he had done, a curse left his lips while he helped me up from the table. Somewhat dazed, it left me wanting way more than what he could give.
I clung to his shirt, begging him not to go. In response, he apologized again before sitting me down in the chair. I could not help but whimper when he went to open the door for Melody, who was completely unaware of what had just happened. However, he could barely find his words while I avoided her gaze.
For a moment, Fenris lost control of himself. This was normal during full moons. Usually, he would hold me the whole night when they happened. If I had my cycle, he avoided me through the night and did not come back until the morning after, but today was not a full moon. Was it the red moon already affecting him three days before it came?
It took me by surprise, and I felt like I was about to go crazy after feeling him on me like that. A week... without seeing him... if I failed. I could not allow that to happen. When Fenris left, I tried to find my composure, finishing the spell that had been my first goal before I lost myself. The spell was a simple one, at least. All I had to do was drop the gemstone into Fenris's blood and cast the spell.
"Ruber luna sub lumine facti sumus unum."
I chanted over and over until the stone turned blood red, just like the moon would be.
'Under the red moon, we become one.'
After that was done, I searched the shelves, looking for a viable ring to use for the next incantation I needed. Fenris had gifted one to me not too long ago. It was made of opal, another gemstone, only that this one appeared like a rainbow. It would be perfect for what I wanted, plus... I needed something he had given me for it to work.
With a brief hesitation, I dropped it in the remaining blood, casting yet another spell.
"Invisibilia, sed solum videri potest ab oculis tuis."
I chanted, causing it to glow white lightly.
'Invisible, yet only to be seen by your eyes.'
This was like the spell that Stella had cast to trick the Lycans into seeing the little girl like me. It only lasted a day, but only activated when the magical item was worn. It was the same with the necklace. I placed both enchanted accessories next to the book I had forged of my memories.
I also prepared for other things that would be needed when the time came. And after it passed. In the first two days of the festival, I practiced everything I would do, minus opening the portal part. That was something that had to be attempted when the time came. If the world would end because I opened a portal incorrectly. It would be when I had no other choice but to do it. Even though Shade was positive I could manage it, I was not as optimistic.
Every hour that brought me closer to the fated time made my heart want to blow. I did not know if it was the worries that everything might fail or the sexual frustration that I had pent up. I tried to keep myself in one piece. Melody could not know what I was planning. I could already hear her yelling at me for how stupid it was, and that there had to be another way.
Sadly... there was no other way for a witch. Maybe if I was an elf... but I was not one. The night before, I did not know if Melody noticed my nerves, but she sat me down to help me feel better.
"Lilith... you know... it is okay if it does not work." Melody began worried that I was beating myself over the fact that I might fail her.
Which I was, but it was more than just that. The world might end in less than a day in my attempt to save her.
"What? No, it will work." I tried to reassure her.
She handed me a hot chocolate she made.
"I know... but if it does not. I am just happy that you tried so hard for me. I am so thankful for you to be in my life." She confessed, pressing her forehead against mine.
This Lycan's soul was just too beautiful for me to handle. How could I keep lying to her? Because I had to...
"I am thankful for you too," I whispered, trying not to crumble now that I was close.
I had to fight the urge to tell Melody everything. She seemed to have that effect on me, but somehow this time I stayed strong. In response, she smiled, happy by my sentiments. She was completely unaware; she had just hardened my resolve to help her even more. With that, we spoke of simpler things for the rest of the night. I sipped on sleeping tea to allow myself to rest through all the emotions that were stirring within me.
The next morning when my eyes flew open, I could barely think. My eyes were locked on the clock by the wall on the side of the bed. For some reason, I thought I had overslept, but it was only ten in the morning. Melody was still fast asleep next to me when I stood up and struggled to find my way to the chair by the table. Taking the accessories out of their hidey-hole, my hands trembled while I slammed my head onto the desk. The loud sound jolted Melody awake.
I grabbed onto my shaking hand. Melody rushed to my side to see if I was alright. Somehow, I convinced her that a book had slipped rather than my head. Although, my shaking was something she noted, but decided not to push me this time. According to all the sites, the blood moon would begin at seven at night and was going to last until four in the morning. By seven Fenris would be alone. My window to find him was around six to seven.
Using the techniques I had been practicing, I got a hold of my nerves. I readied myself for everything else that would come after I made it back. If I could. Although I did not have Fenris's sense of smell, I knew I would ovulate soon just by counting the days since my last cycle started. Fenris would not be capable of controlling himself this time.
Although, I did not know if last time I had ovulated from my viable side. This time it could be possible that it was going to happen. I did not want Fenris to deal with the fact I had attacked him and caused him to impregnate me. Especially when he was most vulnerable. Layla would murder me if that were to happen, too.
So, I prepared a potion that would cause the fertile egg to die after the act. Witches had their little handy things for their orgies. I had also prepared another potion for Melody's consumption. Luckily, she knew nothing of Latin, so I did it right in front of her and she was none the wiser. This one was for her to fall fast asleep until I woke her up the next day by touching her. It contained my blood, making me the only one who could wake her, which made me feel terrible.
If anything went wrong, Melody would be asleep forever. But I guess it would be better that way. If Fenris lost himself when he was with me. And I... died because of it. It would be a mercy for her to go while in her sleep. However, that was something I had to avoid at all costs. Even though... I would not mind dying by his hands if that were what it came to.
I minded the fact that he would die after I did, though. To pass the time and the nerves, I drew the moon, imagining how Fenris would appear under it. The more I drew, the more excited I became. The nerves quelled to leave a way to the desires I had been holding back. After all, I could finally hold him. One way or another, tonight we would become one.
Once I was done, I stepped back from the canvas to see Fenris in his full splendor. For a moment, I glanced at the clock to see it was five. There were a couple of minutes left until six. Melody sat by Fenris's bed, waiting for the treats she had made to finish cooling. Grabbing onto the thermos that had her potion.
I handed it to her before asking her to drink it. For a moment she glanced at me, puzzled. I quickly assured her it was part of the spell to break her curse. As trusting as she was, she ended up chugging it.
"Lily... I feel... what..." Melody struggled to say a coherent thing.
I simpered, feeling terrible for making her feel this way.
"I am sorry." I apologized, turning away from her when she drifted away into her dreams.
Turning off everything in the kitchen that was on, I took off my clothes and headed into the shower to cleanse my body before placing an easily removable robe on. When I finished in the bathroom, I headed towards the room and placed the potion I had to drink in the next morning in plain view. I would not forget it if it was there.
After that, I picked up the accessories and glanced over at the clock on the wall. I tried my best to not let my doubts and insecurities in, watching the clock tick away. So many things could go wrong, but it just had to work. After all, it was for the sake of someone I cared for. The moment it was six-thirty, I unclasped the bracelet and placed it on the table in front of me. Just as I had practiced, the whispers remained at bay. I did not let myself feel anything.
'Ready?' Shade asked.
Her words caused me to chuckle, nervous about what was coming.
"Ready as I'll ever be."
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Sometimes, as we go about with our lives, we all happen to think of one specific thought at least once.What if... I could go back to "that" time?The funny thing is, the moment you think such a thought is the precise moment when you came back to the past, from the future. "One more time."Life, once again.
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