《The Gate of Shadows》Chapter 14: A new experience…

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When we got back to the room, Fenris watched me with hawk eyes from the moment we entered. He knew something was off right away. Liam caught on quickly on his alpha's demeanor, stiffening up when Fenris came over to me. My wolf grabbed me by my chin to inspect my face.

Even though the ice had helped calm the inflammation that my crying had caused, he knew every detail about me. If anything were not right, he would notice where anyone else would have passed it by. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. He stepped away from me before glaring at Liam, who seemed ready to bolt out of here.

Before Fenris could take a step towards the brown wolf, I grabbed onto his hand and turned it to his palm, writing words on it. The girls and other boys were entertaining themselves with a card game. They were blissfully unaware of the dilemma that had developed in the room.

'I am fine,' I wrote.

But Fenris seemed to not quite believe me. I continued to trace on his palm with my fingertips.

'Liam was kind to me. Kinder than the others.' It seemed my attempts to save Liam failed.

Fenris dragged him outside, either way, leaving me to sigh in defeat. I headed to the bed, before spotting something troublesome. To my surprise, I had forgotten my "grimoire" on it. In my hurry to escape this room, I had forgotten the most important book a witch could ever possess.

‘What a joke.’

It seemed like the others had not noticed. Fenris would never have allowed them to peek in it either. Grabbing onto it, I turned the pages to my recollection of Lilith's dream. I noticed there was something added to my unfinished sentence in Fenris's handwriting.

'Not yet. Not like this.'

I stared at his handwriting, munching on the bread we bought.

‘What does he mean by that? Not yet? Not like this? Then when? When can I tell him how I feel? Once he marries?’

Not wanting to think anymore, I turned the page and drew the newest Lycan I had seen. Melody. She was a beautiful specimen of her kind. Her amber eyes were a shared trait in her kin, but on her, with that silky black hair. It matched her so perfectly. Her curves and other features were outlined so well with the adorable dress she wore. It was not revealing or anything, but her bosom was large enough to be noticed through her beautiful pink dress. She was a gorgeous flower. There was no other way to describe her. While I was... the complete opposite.

My bosom was carved into, leaving behind an abomination in its place. Stella had covered my whole body in scars, leaving my face the only part untouched. My face and hands were probably the one thing that did not seem out of place as long as I hid the rest. Seeing yet another beautiful woman made my insecurities grow. These magnificent female Lycans surrounded Fenris while I had nothing to offer. What Ryker said about the reason Fenris held me had to be the truth.

How could anyone be attracted to my body? Especially Fenris, who was the typical top dog around. There was just no way. He probably felt relief for not having to hold me while his friends were around. Maybe the only reason he did not embrace Layla was that he was waiting for marriage to produce an heir. Or maybe he did not sleep with anyone else because he did not want to transmit any diseases to his charge. Protecting me was his duty, after all. I had to give up on the thought of making him mine. He would never be mine alone.

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Before I knew it, I finished a rough draft of Melody's sketch when Fenris and Liam entered the room once again. Liam seemed like a boulder had been lifted from him. His expression was one of relief. I did not know what they had spoken about, but most probably it had to do with the fact I had cried. Had Fenris sworn Liam into secrecy? After all, my bracelet should have kept all the tears inside. Well, most of them at least. Even though no one knew I was wearing one.

Only Ryker, Fenris, Ben, and Tania knew what it did. Probably the other council members, too, but I had never met them. Ryker was the proxy for the sun elves and Ben the Lycans proxy for outside council matters. They kept the real council members in secrecy. Probably each one represented the races of this world. Lycans, vampires, humans, and the subspecies of elves.

Elves had five subspecies sun, moon, ocean, blaze, and nature. Sun represented light magic at the top of the elven society. Moon elves were controversial, just like witches with their dark magic. Ocean elves had ice and water magic at their disposal. Blaze controlled fire and wind. Nature was blessed with earth magic that could even make plants grow from nothing. It was nothing compared to what I did to make the plants come back to life. I would have to use some type of sacrifice for that. Usually, my blood, while they did it with no need of expense. I envied them. All the elven magic was beautiful, unlike witchcraft.

Ryker was a clear representation of how sun elves behaved. Nature elves seemed to want nothing but peace, along with Ocean elves. Although they were a bit of a free spirit, too. It was said they made their cities from the most amazing sights one could ever see. Everyone that went to visit them said that they were almost fantasy-like. Their biggest sights were the fairies that lived there in harmony. They could not be found elsewhere.

Fire elves could be just as hot-headed as Lycans, while the moon elves were unpredictable. However, no matter what personality traits they had. Each of them had a place in the council, and their own individual qualities to differentiate them from one another. Humans with their subspecies of witches and warlocks were restricted in their chairs, though. In this council, only humans not influenced by magic could have a voice, while witches and warlocks did not. They would not allow any witchcraft users to know about me, after all. In their eyes, we were a race that could not be trusted.

The Lycans drank and had fun with their games while I tried to keep to myself. Fenris always stayed near me even as Ezra forced drinks on him. It was hours before the wolves felt tired, leading them to prepare their beds for the night. Seeing how things were winding down, I went to turn on the aromatherapy humidifier that Tania had gifted me. When she was teaching me how to control myself. Currently, she was traveling the world in search of any clues where the sisters may reside. When Tania gifted me the weird little machine, she said it would help me sleep better, and it was true.

The scent of lavender always made me feel at ease. Ever since Tania gave me one, my nightmares seemed to quell a bit. It was the reason the room always smelled of flowers, too. A scent Fenris had become accustomed to from the years of use I had given the machine. Even when he held me at night, he would always wait for me to turn it on. Or he would do it himself if his touch made me forget.

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Either way, it was a part of my nocturnal ritual. Though this time it seemed to bother one of our guests. The moment I turned it on, Kira became upset.

"Stop that. I cannot sleep with that overwhelming scent and noise." Kira complained, covering her ears.

The machine made a soft spraying noise, but for me, it was relaxing. Fenris never complained about it, even when I first got it. Also, the scent itself seemed to be fine for him, too. I had even picked it because it was soothing for Lycans. I was clueless why it bothered her. Though I would not be the one to confront her. It seemed Fenris had enough of his 'sister-in-law'.

"Kira, I always welcome you to sleep outside. She cannot rest well without it." Fenris growled at her before I could say anything to defend myself.

He did not seem happy about her comment, either.

"We are not exactly in any position to complain, plus the scent is pretty pleasant to me." Liam also defended me, triggering Kira to get annoyed.

The alcohol they drank was not helping. It made her more childlike and less of an adult. The number of empty bottles on the side alerted me that this would not end well.

"No! I will not sleep on the floor outside! Just turn it off. A few days without it will not kill you." Kira glared at me.

It ended with me turning it off, much to Fenris's annoyance. A small growl left his mouth. I smiled at him, trying to let him know it was okay, but to him, it was not.

"Lilith, this is your room. She should have no say in the matter." Fenris argued, not liking how I had given in to her demands.

I shook my head, desiring no more drama for today. There had been enough of it.

"It is fine. She is right, a few days will not kill me." I assured him.

Kira scuffed before laying to sleep on the bed where Layla was already out cold. She had fallen asleep a while ago, probably one too many drinks. Ezra and Owen seemed to not complain either about the scent, even commenting it was relaxing. But I did not want Kira to go ballistic over me for keeping it on. It was probably one of the hardest nights I had experienced falling asleep.

I was so used to having it, with it missing; it felt weird. It did not help wolves surrounded me. The fact I was lacking in my comforts, such as Fenris's personal touch, was not good either. I tried to sleep, to no avail. However, once the rest of the invading Lycans were deeply asleep. Fenris pulled me into his arms for a simple embrace. We could not do much without disturbing the other wolves, but he held me tightly against him.

Fenris's warmth was enough to soothe my troubled soul, allowing me to fall asleep slowly. Luckily, I had no nightmares, even though I lacked most of the comforts he had accustomed me to. The next morning Fenris was the first up. Though the ruckus from the other boys waking up got me up as well. They were making their way out of the room and into a public bathroom nearby. They would not dare use a bathroom where a girl showered.

The girls did the same, although they waited for the boys to come back before leaving me alone with Fenris. Just another way to rob me of his attention. At least they cared for my privacy. It had been only one night without it, but I craved his touch. I did not know how much longer I could live without it.

I mean... When I had my monthly lady event, it would be five days of nothing but cuddles. But I was not in my lady thing. This was different. New... When I finished my daily routine, I walked out of the room towards the library. It seemed they were not on any sort of high alert after my encounter with Lilith's grimoire. Fenris said nothing to me about not going there. Although I had to come back to the room after I picked some books out.

What I experienced that day must have been a dream. Nothing more... On the way to the library, I got pulled again to the side by Melody. It was not long, though, until she once again ran away after handing me two beautiful boxes. She had one labeled for Liam and for you. You... Did she mean me? Was this a thank you gift for handing one to Liam? Bewildered, I stared at where she once was.

After finding the books, Cora found me once again, but I excused myself to return to the room. I did not want to anger Fenris by being late. Instead of letting me go to the room alone, she accompanied me to it before bidding farewell. I opened the door to see Fenris speaking with the boys about girls once again. Layla and Kira were not in here, though. I called out for Liam, who glanced my way, allowing me to hand another beautiful box to him.

"Another?" Liam asked.

I nodded, looking at the box that was labeled you. Fenris stood up and walked to me as the boys teased Liam over Melody. They all seemed familiar with her, unlike me. It made me wonder why she chose me to hand the goodies other than them. For a moment, I hesitated to open the box, sitting on my bed. Fenris joined me, causing me to gaze at him.

"Open it. You will probably be surprised by what is in it." Fenris assured, knowing Melody's abilities well enough.

I squinted my eyes, unable to figure out why she gave me this. I had done nothing that required her to be grateful for.

"You know her too?" I mumbled.

Shade pawed me, wanting me to open the box too. Though she wanted the ribbon on it more than anything else.

"Yeah. I usually bring you sweets from her shop. Although, Melody only has eyes for Liam." Fenris teased.

In response, Liam told his teasing friend to shut up the same way he had done to me the day before.

‘Ah... It is just a reaction he usually had.’

That was good to know. Their small banter caused me to giggle a bit. It seemed it was Liam's day to get teased. A question arose in my head, glancing over to Fenris, who seemed to have fun.

The other boys seemed to be too busy with Liam. When I whispered something to Fenris.

"And who do I have eyes for?" I whispered, triggering Fenris's cheeks to turn into a shade of pink.

It completely caught him off guard. I turned my glance back into the box with a small smile on my lips. So even he could have those reactions if they came from me. Not hesitating any longer, I opened it to reveal the most beautifully decorated, heart-shaped chocolate I had ever seen. It even had gold flakes on it. It was almost too precious to eat.

In response to my previous question, Fenris grabbed my hand as the girls came in, quickly quieting the teasing Liam was getting. Kira did not seem happy about what she had heard from the moment she opened the door, though. The room itself was soundproof. This was thanks to a sigil Fenris had placed when we moved in. It was to keep all matters in this room private, but if they opened the door, it was another matter.

Ignoring the complaints of Kira, Fenris traced his fingertips on my hand. He had never done this before.

'For me...' He traced.

I glanced at him with hopeful eyes, only for him to avoid my gaze. His cheeks were slightly pink as he took a deep breath, pulling away from me. He knew how I felt about him. Fenris probably always knew. I did not have to say it, yet I wanted to. Probably everyone that saw my gaze aimed at him knew. Maybe that was why Layla seemed so threatened by me. She knew about my feelings for her future husband. If only she knew what happened when she was not around. It would make her hate me beyond belief.

Hesitantly I ate the chocolate only to find myself in bliss. It had a raspberry filling that hit all the right spots. I had nothing as good as this was. Usually, Fenris would bring me cakes, or other baked goods, but Melody's chocolates were out of this world too. I never knew that was her making my palate dance sometimes, either. Beautiful and able to create the most delicious things I had ever tasted. She would fit Liam so well. If only she were not cursed.

Lycans who could not shift could not marry each other. It was mostly because of hybrid inbreeding with pure breeds. For the next three days, Melody would do the same without leaving me with a chance to speak. On the fourth day, I had enough and grabbed her by her hand before she could run away. Even though she could not shift, she could run faster than most humans. She could have torn my arm off if she wanted.

"Wait!" I yelped before Melody could drag me along with her.

It would be the first time I ever raised my voice to someone. It was not of anger. Shocked, Melody gazed at me, terrified as I held onto her for dear life.

"I am sorry!!!" Melody apologized as if she had done something wrong.

"No! I... I... Thank you so much for the treats you have been giving me. Also... My name is not you... It is Lilith." I started feeling just as shy as she was.

In response to my outburst, Melody turned towards me. She dragged me away from the doors that held Liam and into another hallway.

"You... Lilith, do not thank me. I am just using you after all." Melody mumbled; a bit confused about why I was interacting with her.

Usually, people avoided runts.

"You still gave me something so delicious. How can I not thank you?" I simpered, feeling a bit more comfortable with her.

She was such a silly, sweet girl. Using me to deliver a tiny package to my room? Does that even count? And she started giving me one too.

"Ah... I am glad you liked them. I did not know what you liked, so I just went with personal favorites." Melody smiled, fidgeting with her fingers.

I shook my head. She was slowly opening towards me.

"I did not like them. I loved them. Thank you so much." I thanked her again.

She seemed happy to hear my satisfaction with her work. Her tail wagged; it was too cute.

"But... You really should be the one coming to give them to Liam." I added, causing her to become erratic again.

"I-I would n-never..." Melody began.

I grabbed onto her hand before she could run away again.

"Yes, you can. Come." I was bold for once.

Maybe for her, it would work better than it ever did for me.

"Wait!" Melody squealed, not knowing how to react to what was happening.

At least she did not rip my arm off to run away.

"I will be with you, and I promise you will be fine." I chuckled, feeling something I had never felt before.

She posed no danger to me. She also gazed at me as she did at anyone else. It made me feel happy to be just an ordinary witch in her eyes. Even Shade liked Melody as she jumped off me and onto Melody's head. It probably was the treats Shade had from her when Fenris brought them to the room.

"You are not like other witches. Are you?" Melody commented, bewildered.

I pulled her along to my room's door.

"I try not to be," I whispered.

Melody gave into me. With that, I held her hand, allowing her finally to hand a gift directly to Liam, who seemed flustered by the entire event. Although his smile could not be more defined on his lips. Kira, though, sent death glares towards Melody. Instead of feeling intimidated, Melody seemed to shrug them off without an issue. Her only issue seemed to be Liam.

I could feel her want to run away every time he addressed her, but since I held onto her, she did not. I mean, she could have run and torn my arm off, but she stayed, no matter how embarrassing it was for her. Liam invited her into the room to where she spent most of the time by my side instead of Liam's, surprisingly. Although Liam was always nearby, chattering with both of us the same as Fenris.

The other boys joined, too. Most of them tried to make a move on beautiful Melody, who rejected them flat out. Ezra seemed seriously hurt as he tumbled onto his sleeping bed to mope. Owen laughed at him, feeling just as rejected. Feeling comfortable leaving me with Melody alone, Fenris and the boys went out of the room to find us some food.

Layla would not dare to do anything to me while the boys were out, since the last warning Fenris gave her was a fruitful one. Kira on the other hand I watched for. She seemed to want to get rid of Melody, who just ignored her glares. Melody was only shy about things relating to Liam. For other things, she was stronger than I could ever be. The moment the boys left to get food for us; Kira began her move.

"Why are you here, runt?" Kira huffed.

Melody shrugged her words right off.

"Lilith and Liam invited me in," Melody answered plainly and sternly.

"All is well as long as you know your place." Kira scuffed.

Layla tried to defuse her sister.

"Kira not here," she warned.

Her younger sister was keen to attack Melody, who seemed to ignore it. Instead of instigating it further, Melody turned to me and grabbed my fake grimoire without knowing what it was. The unaware wolf flipped through the pages before I could stop her, seeing every picture I had ever drawn. She was not reading anything I had written, though. Even so... She called my pictures beautiful.

Even the dark ones did not deter her from calling them beautiful. For a moment, it stunned me, as I found myself at a loss for words. I did not know what to say. Eventually, she reached for her picture, smiling.

"I think you see me as a holy maiden. I am not." Melody giggled, tracing her fingertips through the page.

Something about her touched me in ways I thought were not possible. I could see why she enchanted Liam. When the boys came back, Melody spent hours speaking to us about her new job. Her shop was destroyed during the attack. This led her to find a part-time in the bakery within the building we were in. She, like every other Lycan, was pulled into the vicinity of Cerberus for their protection. She did not know when she could get her shop rebuilt.

When it was time for Melody to leave, I was sad to see her go. It was a first for me. I rarely cared about people, but I longed to look towards the door where she once was. What was this feeling? It was a different type of warmth, one that Fenris did not provide me with. Noticing my weird demeanor, he sat down next to me.

"Missing her already?" Fenris asked, curious about what was going on in my mind.

"I... I do not know." I replied, picking up the book of awful memories that Melody had called alluring.

She did not know what she had called beautiful.

"I think you will become good friends," Fenris noted.

I placed the book on my nightstand, taking a brief glance at him.

"I do not think I deserve that," I whispered, triggering Fenris to sigh.

If only he could hold me.

"Lilith, you deserve that and more." Fenris nudged me, seemly happy that I had found someone nice to talk to.

Not like Cora, who irritated him. Fenris knew Melody about the same time as Liam did. Maybe that was why he trusted her more than Cora. A better first impression?

'Hey! Do not forget I am the first friend you made!' Shade jumped onto my lap as I picked her up and snuggled her.

"No... You are family." I corrected.

She purred in return. That night, I had a wonderful dream. One where I was outside in the meadow with all the people who made me feel whole. It was a dream I did not want to wake from. However, morning came, and so did another visit from Melody. Although this time, after handing Liam another gift, she took my hand and pulled me along to Fenris. She stared at him for a moment before suddenly asking him for permission to take me out. He allowed it if she exchanged numbers with him and answered his phone calls. For a second, I felt like a child going on a play date, as Melody agreed to his terms.

Before I knew it, I found myself downstairs at the bakery shop where Melody worked. She had asked the owner if I could come with her to see her bake. And help her as well. I was astonished to even find out I was going to cook anything. I had done nothing like that in my life, but instead of finding it annoying. She encouraged me to try it. Although it ended up in a mess that Shade even received a scolding from the owner. Even so, it was fun.

Seeing Melody work and fix my mistakes was something I thought I would never experience. Her passion for the task at hand was admirable. I could not help but find her fascinating. Even though I messed up every time I tried to do something, she never got angry or frustrated. Instead, she handed me another egg and said, 'Again!' while giggling.

After a few hours of being in there, flour and dough covered my clothes. Even Shade needed a shower after this, and all she had been doing was sitting there watching us work. Melody seemed like she was having the most fun. As she laughed at anything I did. It did not feel bad to be tittered at by her, as she seemed to enjoy her time with me.

The whole thing dumbfounded me. I thought no one would relish their time with me. Cora was another case, a weird case, but Melody was a Lycan. We were supposed to be enemies, according to Stella's teachings.

"Melody... Are you okay with me?" I worried about what others would think of her.

Especially if they saw her with me. I did not want to bring her any trouble. In response, Melody turned, a bit confused by my question.

"What do you mean?" She asked, putting down her bag full of whip cream she had been using to decorate a cake.

"I mean, won't the others judge you more for being with me?" I whispered, holding onto myself as she scuffed at that thought.

"Why should that matter?" Melody questioned sternly, not knowing why I said that.

"I..." I began, not knowing what to say.

Melody sighed.

"To tell you the truth, I have had no one other than family around. Liam was the first Lycan to come to talk to me, and that was seven years ago. And now I find you who, instead of ignoring me, caught me like I was a fish waiting to be reeled in. It surprised me so much because everyone usually avoids me. I am a runt, you see. And most think I am annoying with my positivity. They think I should grovel at their feet and beg for forgiveness for existing, but I will not give them that pleasure. I am probably too much, aren't I?" Melody glanced down onto the floor, worried she was annoying me.

‘Impossible...’

I grabbed into her hands. This was not what I wanted to convey to her.

"No! You are not! I... I admire you. Everything you do seems so full of love and passion that it is too bright to even look. Being able to shift or not, should not matter. You are beautiful the way you are Melody." I assured her.

My words caused her to hug me in return. It was surprising, yet so tender.

"Lilith, in truth... I brought you out today because I wanted you to have fun. When I saw your drawings, I could see so much pain in them. You are sad all the time, aren't you? I do not know what happened to you, but I just wanted you to smile for a while." Melody whispered, cushioning me in her arms.

I could not help myself when I hugged her back. What was this feeling? It was so different from what I felt for Fenris. I liked her so much. Why...

"I... I... Thank you." I mumbled, trying to hold in the tears that wanted to roll out of me.

It was not long until Melody let me go and brightly smiled at me.

"Now, should we make something for Fenris?" Melody teased, making me flustered right where I stood.

Was it really that obvious?!?!? Pulling away from her, I grabbed Shade off the countertop and fiddled with her fur.

"What? No... I cannot." I said, trying to keep calm, though my cheeks probably betrayed me.

Kira already had enough of Melody. If she helped me try to get closer to Fenris, then Melody surely would suffer because of it. Layla would get cranky again if I did that, too.

"Hm? Why not? From all the drawings you have of him, I can tell how much you care about him. His expression is always so gentle in your drawings. But in reality, he is actually kind of intimidating." Melody commented, shivering upon thinking of Fenris, leaving me a bit embarrassed.

How much did she read of drawings alone? Though something else caught my attention.

"He is intimidating?" I asked curiously why Melody thought Fenris was menacing.

If anything, he was like a plush wolf in my eyes.

"You kidding me, right? When I first met him, I could tell right away he was an alpha. He has that aura around him, you know. Scary? I cannot even stare at him without wanting to bow down to him! Even asking him for permission to take you out here took every ounce of bravery I had!" Melody ranted.

I tilted my head, not believing what she was saying. Fenris? Intimidating? I had only seen him truly angry once. When he slammed Layla into the wall, cracking it. Nothing a simple spell could fix, though.

"I do not see him that way," I mumbled.

Melody laughed.

"That is because the way he looks at you is different. There is a tenderness in his eyes. Ah... I wish Liam would see me that way." Melody fantasized.

I shook my head in disbelief. She must see things wrong. Fenris surely did not look at me fondly.

"I think Liam looks at you that way," I commented.

Melody grabbed the whipped cream again, turning towards the cheesecake she was decorating.

"No way... He is just nice. I am trash compared to him." Melody assured me confidently, triggering me to do something I have never done.

"No, you are not! You are amazing!" I blurted out, causing her to squirt the whipped cream bag too hard.

It triggered the cream to splatter all over the cake. For a moment, we both stared at the ruined decoration. It was awful. We gazed at one another before bursting out laughing.

"I am, aren't I?" Melody chuckled at what we had done.

Even though there was laughter leaving her lips, there was a visible pain in her eyes, too. Since she could not shift, being with Liam would be a dream for her. She did not know it was a curse keeping her from him. If it was lifted, then... They could be together with no one batting an eyelash.

I wanted to help her. After all, unlike me, she could accomplish her love. I just had to find a way to help her without endangering anyone. It had only been a few days since I met Melody, yet she had done for me more than most others I have encountered.

But... could I trust myself? Could I do it? Could I ever help anyone with this dreadful power I possessed?

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