《Moonborn》4.2: shadows inside

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When Ainsel got to school and Zoë wasn’t in their usual meeting spot, she was so worried that she completely forgot about Remy. Unfortunately, he hadn’t forgotten about her. He lurked near her until the bell rang, a tall, dark, moody shadow, then moved into the desk he’d previously occupied.

Without Zoë, it was just the two of them. And he was acting even less like a proper student than the day before. He sprawled forward in his seat, putting his chin on his hands on the desk, watching her like she was lunch.

Keeping a wary eye on Remy, Ainsel texted a worried message to Zoë, then sent another one apologizing for worrying, then sent a third one threatening to call in fifteen minutes if she didn’t get a response. She regretted the last one; it meant she had to wait fifteen minutes before calling.

She tried to concentrate on finishing some of her homework, but Remy kept staring at her. There was something off about the way he sat there, as if he was sick, or very tired. His dark hair was completely uncombed and she realized he was wearing the same clothes as the day before.

As she accidentally met his blue gaze, he murmured, “Are you really one of them?”

Caught off guard, Ainsel asked, “What?”

“You smell like I always imagined they’d smell. Delicious. But so does your friend and I can’t believe she and you are both…” He shook his head slowly.

Despite the fact that he was secretly a monster and had just described her as delicious, Ainsel was intrigued and irritated rather than frightened. “Both what? What do you think I am?”

Tyler appeared beside the table as if by magic. The last time Ainsel had seen him he’d been talking to Bradley at the door. Somehow, Tyler managed to be friends with even loners like that. And yet..

“Hey, you don’t look so good, buddy. Is there some medicine you ought to be taking?” Tyler had a concerned expression on his face, but his eyes glittered.

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Ainsel remembered what Zoë had said about Tyler the night before: that she thought he was creepy, that he wasn’t actually Ainsel’s friend. He didn’t seem like Remy’s friend, either. Ainsel had never been strongly attached to him, not like she was to Zoë, but Zoë had considered him a close friend. Maybe he wasn’t the sort of person who was anybody’s friend for real. But he did a really good job of acting like it sometimes, if that was the case.

Remy gave Tyler a look of such undisguised hostility that Ainsel’s skin prickled. “Would you like to take over?”

Tyler smirked. “I’m not in your seat.”

“Do you two know each other from somewhere else?” Ainsel asked. “I feel like maybe you do.”

“Nah, babe, we just met a couple of days ago,” said Tyler, giving her a twinkling grin. Remy smiled too, except it was more like bared teeth.

Then the bell rang, slicing through the tension. Ainsel stuffed her homework into her bag and went to the restroom to hide out in a stall until the fifteen minute timer she’d given Zoë ticked down.

“Mmmph.” Zoë answered the phone like she was barely conscious.

Anxiety evaporated from Ainsel’s heart. “I’m so glad you’re alive.”

Blearily, Zoë said, “Eh? Why wouldn’t I be alive?”

“Well, you’re not at school. How come? Are you sick?”

“School? Oh crap. Ugh. I overslept. And…” Some papers rustled in the background. “Uh. I’ll be there for second period, okay? Something did happen last night but I remember it and…. And you’re not going to believe it.”

“Zoë!”

“I promise, it’ll be easier to tell you in person. I have to grab a shower, so talk to you later. Go back to class!”

After Zoë hung up, Ainsel glared resentfully at her phone. They had these marvelous devices for talking over long distances and Zoë was incredibly resistant to using them for anything other than basic communication. Ainsel would have to remind her how they worked.

When she emerged from the stall, she was shocked to see Remy leaning against one of the sinks, his arms crossed. Shocked—but only at first. Because of course he’d followed her into the restroom. He followed her everywhere else in school.

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He raised his eyebrows at her.

“You know, if you get caught in here, they’re going to kick you out of the school,” she pointed out, putting her bag on the sink beside him and studying her reflection.

“Hah,” he said. “They know I’m from somewhere else. They’ll forgive me.”

“Somewhere with mixed-gender toilets?”

He shrugged. “Sure. It’s all been taken care of.” He frowned. “Somehow.”

She studied his reflection in the mirror. Not only was his hair a mess, his eyes were red, like he hadn’t been sleeping. “Tyler’s right, you don’t look so good. Here.” She dug in her purse and offered him a hairbrush.

She’d seen him surly, creepy, hostile, annoyed, impatient and predatory, but now she saw him nonplussed.

But he didn’t accept the brush. “Do you think this is a game?”

Ainsel opened her arms wide. “Here we are in private. I’m not running away. Are you going to hurt me? Kill me?” He didn’t move, his intense eyes meeting her own. She closed her arms up again. “I didn’t think so. So if you’re going to follow me around I might as well be friendly.” She looked back in the mirror again, applying the brush to her own hair.

“Change,” he said softly. “Change and I will. I could go home again, get rid of this curse. I would have ended this days ago, but while you linger in this shape it would serve no purpose.”

Ainsel felt dizzy. The fear she’d thought had subsided spiked through her, but she managed to say airily, “Then obviously I ought to never change.” Whatever that means. I don’t even want to know.

Remy reached for her and she stepped backward. His hand dropped as he said, “You don’t even understand what the curse is, or you’d know that wouldn’t save you in the end. When I lose everything—”

Ainsel’s temper flared. “No, of course I don’t. You show up here talking crazy and following me into the girl’s restroom. I don’t understand anything about you.”

He nodded. “Just so.” His face tightened and his hand clenched on the edge of the sink. He glanced in the mirror, then looked away quickly. “No,” he muttered. “It would have been better if I’d died when I first came to this broken land.” He laughed. “Certainly better for you.”

Remy’s gaze wasn’t focused on Ainsel anymore. He was hurt somehow, she realized. Maybe inside, maybe in his head. She wondered if she could fix him the same way she could fix Zoë’s little hurts. But she’d have to touch him for that and that thought both attracted and frightened her.

Ainsel moved from one side to another experimentally. His eyes weren’t even tracking her anymore. He was looking at something inside his own head and whatever it was, it wasn’t pleasant.

She hesitated a moment. She wanted to reach up and brush his messy hair out of his face, smooth down the waves, and see if she could fix whatever ailed him. But when he’d reached for her she’d stepped away. Today, she hadn’t been afraid he’d hurt her. Not until the moment he’d told her to change. Now, she could feel the danger radiating off him: an unpredictable madness that could lead to bloodshed, or worse. If she touched him, there was no telling what would happen.

She moved completely out of his line of vision. He didn’t notice, lost in his own mental landscape. Quietly, feeling a little stab of inexplicable shame, she left the restroom. Once in the empty hall, she hesitated, then opened the closet beside the restroom, grabbed the ‘Closed for Cleaning’ sign and set it up. At least she could make sure that nobody—him or any other girls—got an unpleasant surprise.

Then, hoping Zoë got to school soon, she went to class.

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