Chapter 16

In the Mind

- Turn off your mind and open your eyes -

Bright white lights embedded in the ceiling blinded him each time he looked up.

"Close your eyes child," said a gentle voice.

It belonged to a woman.

Thonavar blinked.

"Mother?"

As his vision refocused, he saw the source of the gentle voice, but it was not his mother.

"I am not your mother, child," she said smiling.

She was dressed in black robes and her face was hidden by her hood.

He looked around him and found himself in a room that was white, similar to the Courtroom of Justice. He was also strapped to a long chair that was tilted backwards at an angle. Huge spotlights glared at him directly from above and he squinted for the light hurt his eyes. He could just make out through a blurred vision, some sort of machine or console by the side of the white-washed walls. There were connective wires and hardwires piled up in a corner.

Thonavar saw the woman mixing some strange green and light blue liquids into a vial.

"What is that?"

"Just something to help you relax," she replied.

Thonavar did not like the thought of those strange-looking liquids inside his body.

"You are going to inject me with that sharp needle are you not?"

"Yes."

Thonavar squirmed.

"Hold still child", said the woman. "I will then proceed to brief you."

"Brief me? What is like in there? I have heard it is like a game."

"Well, it is certainly not a fun game. Hold still please."

"What is it like?"

"Very soon, you will have no memory of the past. So, what I say to you now would be pointless."

A female computerised voice spoke suddenly.

"Preparing simulation. Estimated time of projection is two minutes."

"Right then," said the woman as she expertly plunged the tip of the needle into Thonavar’s shoulder before removing it swiftly. "That was not so bad."

"It hurts."

"It always does."

"Who are you?"

The woman shook her head, the cowls of her hood shaking as well. Thonavar could make out the hint of a smile through her hood.

"So many questions. Save your energy child. You will need it."

Thonavar felt the liquid working his way under his skin. It was a strange sensation. He tried to move to get comfortable.

"Now, child, do not squirm so much now," said the woman gently. Lying flat on the chair with arms and legs strapped, Thonavar felt trapped. A sense of claustrophobia gripped him. He wanted to be free and to move his legs. He continued to shift uncomfortably in his seat.

"You are noticeably much calmer than the others," said the woman, her smile suddenly disappearing, replaced by a weary look.

"Others?"

"The other two that went before you were screaming and shouting even before the simulation began", she whispered, though almost to herself.

"One minute to projection remaining," said the female computer.

Thonavar felt his palms becoming moist again.

"It will be over sooner than you think", said the woman.

A bead of sweat trickled down the side of his head.

"Now, ready yourself child," said the woman sweetly, and as she spoke those words, a huge plasma-blue screen blinked into life before Thonavar.

"Thirty seconds", said the female computer. Thonavar’s pulse began to race, his heart hammering frantically.

What was about to happen?

A sense of the surreal gripped him.

I am strapped to a chair about to hurtle into a world that is not real.

The woman left Thonavar’s side and went to the consoles by the side of the room. She pressed a few buttons on the console.

"Ten seconds to projection", called out the female computerised voice. But already the voice seemed to be getting softer.

A faint tinge of red had begun to emit from the screen before Thonavar, which was now a strange colour.

A mixture of colours, thought Thonavar to himself. But what colour exactly?

He could not put a finger to it. His eyelids seemed to be getting heavier as he squinted at the soft colourful light emitting from the pulsating screen. The light seemed to be sucking him into the screen. It was mesmerising.

But what colour was the light? Was it red? Or purple?

Wait, it was yellow now. But it had changed again.

What was it? His mind desperately sought an answer as his eyes began to close.

"Five seconds remaining," spoke a voice in the distance.

The voice was far, far away now, and the colourful-light reached out from the depths of the screen, like tendrils of smoky-red. They spread over Thonavar’s face, enveloping him and lifting him into the air. He felt as though he were afloat. He floated high above the room and then out of the room.

His eyes closed shut.

And he hovered higher and higher till he was floating above HavenGuarde. He could see all that was below and he floated up higher, the massive buildings becoming tiny dots. Soon, he could see the edge of space and he floated out to embrace the cold darkness. Suddenly, a jumble of thoughts invaded his mind and he tried to shake them off. Some were silly thoughts and some were pleasant thoughts. There were some that were so terrible that Thonavar had to bite hard on his lip to stop himself from screaming. There were some that were so beautiful and wonderful that tears poured down his cheeks. The jumble of random thoughts flooded and swamped his mind and he could not bear it any longer.

"Projection complete," said the female computerised voice.

But Thonavar was not listening. A thousand images flashed across his mind, yesterday’s events, the Houses of Court, the Courtroom of Justice, Lord Dragba Damon, Sir Alberoth, Alexis, his parents and Felix Vanyaga. His mind screamed out for him to stop thinking as he was taken further into his own thoughts and memories, some of which he could barely recall.

It was cold. A baby crying. A woman hushing that baby, rocking it to sleep. A tall man with light-brown eyes. The last image that rocked through Thonavar’s stricken mind was the image of his mother and she was smiling. Suddenly, as though his mind decided that it had had enough, it shut down, giving in to the darkness that surrounded it. And Thonavar found himself falling endlessly into the dark black hole created by his own mind.

"Subject undergoing psycho-paralysis," said the voice of the female computer.

"Projection initiated. First sequence beginning".

Thonavar struggled. He was in a state of panic. For, though he spiraled endlessly into the darkness swallowing him below, something told him that if he did not do something, it would be too late. He was going to die. He was just falling. He was helpless and he was blind. He could not see a thing. The darkness was all around. If only he could see what was around him. Then he would be able to do something. But try as he did, he could not open his eyes.

One last attempt and then I will give up and die, he thought, his strength and resolve fading rapidly. The darkness pressed in.

Open your eyes, he told himself, and struggled once more, with all the strength and effort he could muster.

Open your eyes! Open them!

Thonavar opened his eyes.