《How to get lost: a wanderers guide》Some things just won't burn
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Hello again. Today I made an enemy.
First of all let me just say that a sunrise amidst the red rocks is absolutely stunning. The way the light is soaked in red and is carried through the area by the oddly shaped rock formations is crazy awesome. I didn't know that red came in so many shades.
Once the sun had risen enough to allow me to avert my eyes from the sight before me I set off into the air.
By now I had gotten pretty good at flying. I tucked my poncho in my satchel and cradled that in my arms. My ankles sprouted little guide wings to provide support and some more control. And off I went.
I first dove into the canyon. Marvelling at the beautiful layers of red colored rock and the wide rushing river that had cut through the solid rock. Coasting along the rivers course I followed flustered schools of tasty looking fish in the hopes one would jump out of the water and declare itself breakfast.
Sadly no such friendly fishy came to be and I had to settle for one of a herd of hairy and horned critters that called the cliffsides of the canyon home. Snatching one while on the wing was a mistake though. I wasn't prepared for the sudden jarring increase in weight and overcompensated nearly crashing headlong into the opposite side of the canyon.
Interestingly enough the critter I had grabbed could spit some green gunk that caused the very stone to sizzle and melt.
That didn't save it though.
After brekkers I decided to check out the cliff top. As I was making my way there I felt the winds shift. Looking up I stared right into the beady mad eyes of a monster bird.
Damn thing was huge! Twice my size easily. I dodged wildly and the grasping talons of this feather fiend missed my sweetmeats by a hairsbreadth. Unfortunately, those same talons hooked onto the dangling satchel strap and yanked it from my arms.
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The devil bird made off with my satchel!
Not having any off that I followed in dogged pursuit, blasting schorching flames and invectives at the bad birdy. My flames washed over the fiendish fowl.
And to my shock and dismay it flew through unscathed. My flames just fell away from the silvery and incandescent feathers without leaving a mark.
I swear the bird smirked at me.
It took off and I followed in earnest, trying to think of some way to take it down. Punches and kicks seemed as futile as flames. The fluffy down under its shiny feathers absorbing any shock. I tried tackling a wing in the hopes of causing a crash but it just shook me off.
On and on we went. Me harrying the blasted cheeky bird as best I could. Determined to get my stuff back. I may have been too weak to bring it down but it was too slow to escape me. Finally we reached its destination.
A massive tree. Sitting in the midst of a grassy plain that I had been flying over this whole time to preoccupied to notice. Dozens of the blasted birds burst forth from their perchs amongst the branches. Angling to get a piece of me. I know when I'm outmatched so I gave off one last blast of distracting fire and dove to hide in the grass at the trees base.
It took a while but the birds gave up the hunt. I watched carefully as the bird that had taken my satchel landed and hopped awkwardly to a large hole in the side of the great trees trunk. It entered and left without my satchel.
I should probably mention that when I say this tree is big I mean it is absolutely humongous. Biggest tree I have ever seen. I don't think a hundred of me could circle it with our arms outstretched. Nestled throughout its titanic branches were nests, containing silvery incandescent eggs fully as tall as I am.
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About halfway up the trunk was a deep hole cut into the tree. Which is where the bird had deposited my satchel.
I waited until nightfall. Watching as all the nests were filled and all the birds fell asleep besides three that stood watch for predators. Keeping a careful eye on these sentry birds I slowly crept up the trunk, burning hand and footholds into the thick bark.
Time passed and I nearly fell once or twice, and actually did fall once, but I had made it to the treasure trove of the birds.
Birds have crap treasure by the way. It was mostly bug corpses and the occasional animal or other bird carcass. But the only thing this place needed to become a treasure trove in my eyes was my satchel.
Obviously, I got the satchel. Otherwise how did I write all this eh? Once that was done I made my way back to the base of the tree and started to slowly burn my way into the heartwood.
Once I had judged myself dee enough in the tree I gave it my all. Sending the hottest flames I could express blazing in all directions.
Long story short, I burned down the blasted birds home. No eggs survived the tumble to the ground as the branches, now unsupported by the trunk, fell to earth.
Revenge is best served blazing hot.
I am tucked into a little grass covered hollow nearby, watching the distraught birds squawk and screech in dismay as their home, food surplus, and progeny all turn to ash.
That is some crazy good catharsis.
Goodnight.
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