I didn’t actually tell anyone other than Tsunade that I was leaving. I thought it would be funnier if Karenbana realized I had ditched them for a couple of weeks. Fu might be a bit upset for a little while, but Lee and Gai would hopefully keep them both busy.

I didn’t want to spend too much time out on my own, but I needed them both to be strong enough to fight the baddies, so I sprinted pretty much the entire time.

I kept looking around and hoping to spot something that might indicate where Team Seven had fought those twin mist dudes, the ones with that chain thing. Like a hole in the road or a pile of timber, shuriken stuck in a tree maybe.

It was stupid; that fight had happened years ago in this world if it had happened at all.

I wondered if I had woken up before the Zabuza mission, perhaps on the bridge or something, would I have been able to stop them from being killed? Recruited them somehow? I would probably have just died.

I wouldn’t have been ready to be in a fight of that level, and I would have been noticed by the ninja long before I had grown even remotely strong enough to protect myself. I suppose waking up in the Land of the Moon had been a boon in that regard, given the slow nature of my skills.

Speaking of skills, I had finally gotten around to creating that sound reduction Spell I had cursed not having at Takigakure.

You have unlocked a new skill, Muffle.

Muffle (Level 1) – Reduces unwanted noise emission.

Type – Toggle

Target – Self.

Cost – Reserves 1 (25) Mana per second.

Increases the effectiveness of the higher the level.

An incredible simple but also useful skill that would have made that fight so much safer.

It was a weird spell too because it only seemed to stop sounds that I made by accident, or without intending to. If I said something, it would come through perfectly fine, and if I tried to snap a twig to make noise, it would let me, but I could feel twigs snap beneath my feet every other step in this forest, and barely any sound was coming from it.

Somehow it seemed to work via intention.

The terrain changed the closer I got to the coast, it was still warm, but the humidity was getting jacked up from all the water in the air. The early mornings began to bring a faint mist with it, nothing as foreboding as the thick mist that Zabuza had used in the anime, just a transparent layer of water in the air.

When did Zabuza get his sword anyway?

I remember that guy from Akatsuki having it at some point, Itachi’s old partner. He was killed by uh, whatever that Jinchuriki was called, the turtle guy. He’d had the sword on him then, so when did Zabuza get it? I guess the turtle guy had taken it back to the village, given it to him, or given it to someone who had passed it to Zabuza.

Sometime after, Itachi had killed his clan, but before the wave mission.

Zabuza must have had several years to become a master of the sword, although he was some kind of genius in killing or something, I vaguely remembered he had killed his classmates during an exam of some sort? Perhaps he had been the type of genius who had simply picked it up and mastered it within months, like that other swordsman, well the swordswoman.

The chick that had the twin lighting swords before that funeral guy.

Rin? Ringo? Something like that, I remembered reading about how she had mastered her weapon really quickly or something, so I could see Zabuza doing something similar. Which meant that he had it for what, a maximum of five years? Probably less.

My own ‘Blade Mastery’ skill should carry over to it unless it fell under a ‘Greatsword Mastery’ or something like it. Which would suck, but either way, I didn’t need two legendary swords; the goal here wasn’t for me to go into battle wielding a bunch of swords as Killer B did, although I really wanted to see how that kind of swordplay worked in a real-world scenario.

I was intending on giving the giant ass sword to Fu.

Karenbana was a stealth fighter, well a stealth fighter with Sage Mode now anyway, but Fu was something of a flying brick, I mean, she had these silly-looking wings and everything, she has also had a remarkable level of strength for her level, her stats clearly favored it for whatever reason.

So she would get the most out of the giant sword within our little group. I had something different in mind for Karenbana anyway. I would be going to get that next, so she shouldn’t be too salty over having to wait a month or so. She got that summon anyway.

The bridge was enormous, ludicrously so, it looked like something out of the old world, the one with the cars and the guns. It was actually amazing to look at it and think that something of this craftsmanship level was possible while they were under constant attack by mercenaries and ninja.

Hell, I can’t imagine a bridge being completed in the old world under those conditions.

I turned around to face back towards Konoha and then turned left. I kept on walking until I felt a chakra signature light up within my range, and it hadn’t taken that long. The sword was still where they had left it, as the headstone for their graves. Suigetsu hadn’t been here yet, because the sword was here, and Kabuto hadn’t been here because the bodies were still undisturbed.

“Sorry for stealing your grave marker,” I said honestly, “You guys were really cool, just a couple of bros running around and tearing it up together, I would have liked to meet you both, at least once.”

Kubikiribōchō (Legendary)

Extremely sharp, and cuts through most things. Capable of channeling chakra. Regenerates from any damage by absorbing iron.

I inventoried the blade and then left without another word.

I wondered how mad Kakashi, Naruto, or Sakura would be when they saw the sword.

Sasuke was the one who told Suigetsu where it was right? They would both probably be pissed off when they found it missing; it might have some unknown effect on their actions as well. Suigetsu might not stay with them, or they might go after one of the other swordsmen.

Well, I had two legendary swords now.

When I was thinking about what would fit either of them, I had at first struggled with Karenbana. That needle sword had been my first thought, it looked pretty cool, but the sewing people together thing was just nonsense.

Kisame’s sword wouldn’t like anyone without ‘tasty’ chakra, that sounded more up Fu’s alley then Karenbana’s anyway. The others I remembered had been the explosive note sword, the blue-haired-guys transforming weapon, and the two lighting swords.

I had thought of Kusanagi and immediately decided I wasn’t going to fuck with Orochimaru yet.

Those twin blades ended up being the ones I had decided on; they were supposed to be super sharp, probably good to use from Stealth as well, as long as you held back on the lightning attacks and just used them as melee weapons. They could also be stuck handle-to-handle into a double-bladed sword thing.

That guy was near that curry shop, in the Land of Rivers? There was a mining town or something, as well, a gold mine?

What had happened to the swords, though? I could remember the guy falling off a cliff and being annihilated by lighting. Did the leaf ninja take his swords? No, Kabuto had them somehow when he revived all the swordsman, so Kabuto found them at some point.

I would have to check near where he died; I should be able to feel the chakra in the blades if they were still there somewhere. I had some money leftover. I was already getting sick of traveling on my own. I might hire a ninja to take me there. I would take the others, but I didn’t want to interrupt their training.

Either way, if Kabuto had already stolen them, we could just hunt him down to deal with him earlier, and hopefully, we could catch him while he was away from Orochimaru. He would still be somewhere near wherever the hell the Land of Sound was, probably, which was daunting.

My trip back to Konoha was pretty leisurely. I spent most of the time getting in extra training along the way. When I was about halfway home, I ran into an ‘ANBU Escort’ that I definitely didn’t ask for. They brought me back to Konoha and straight back to the Hokage tower.

It’s almost like they didn’t trust me, the audacity of these people.

“Tsunade!” I said cheerfully as I stepped into the office without waiting. “Why are you wasting ANBU level ninja playing messengers? I am truly shooketh by this turn of events.”

Sakura looked outraged at my complete disrespect, but Tsunade just smirked.

“You left in a hurry, and our deal is not yet concluded.” Tsunade said intently, “What did you do in Wave Country?”

“I had to go water my plants, but get this, I found this Momochi Zabuza guy’s sword just lying around in the forest!” I said cheerfully.

“What?!” Sakura said incredulously.

“Yeah, some dumbass just left this priceless sword near that big ass bridge,” I said easily, “Oh well, finders keepers, you know?”

Sakura struggled to find the words.

“Where is it now?” Sakura finally managed.

I blinked before looking down at myself, quickly patting all of my pockets, and then looking alarmed.

“I must have lost it along the way!” I cried, “How unfortunate!”

Sakura’s face was going red.

“You ran all the way to Wave to water your plants?” Tsunade said dryly. “You could at least try to make up something believable.”

I shrugged.

“My business isn’t really any of Konoha’s business,” I said easily. “Only the business that I have with Konoha is Konoha’s business, you know?”

Sakura blew out a frustrated breath at the ludicrous statement.

“Anyway, how long has it been?” I said thoughtfully, “Three weeks? How’s that girl I fixed?”

“Four and a half weeks,” Tsunade corrected, “Yakumo-san is doing well, and there are no signs of it returning either.”

Huh, I lost track of time training.

“Cool,” I said easily, “I was actually in the middle of planning out another short trip, but I could use an escort this time, I have no idea what the place looks like.”

The giant bridge had been an easy landmark to locate, but all I knew about the Land of Rivers was that there was a gold mine somewhere in the country.

“I would like to have another discussion with you about Akatsuki before you leave,” Tsunade said seriously.

“Sure,” I said easily, “by the way, you still owe me a thousand moon dollars.”

Tsunade twitched at the reminder.

“I haven’t forgotten,” Tsunade said cagily, “Akatsuki?”

I just nodded.

“You want these two here for this? There’s some sensitive information that I’m fairly sure will come up.” I said honestly.

Tsunade hummed thoughtfully.

“Make sure we are not disturbed,” Tsunade said easily.

Shizune started towards the door immediately, but Sakura hesitated for a moment.

“Get out of here, Pinkie!” I said, outraged, “I can’t believe you would disrespect the Hokage-sama-san-chan-kun-whatever other nonsense you all say, unbelievable, you’d never catch me showing such blatant disrespect to my girl Tsunade here.”

Sakura stared at me in complete disbelief, and I gave her a shit-eating grin.

“Sakura,” Tsunade said, amused.

Sakura stomped out of the room, cheeks red, and the door slammed behind her.

“You’re either brave or stupid,” Tsunade said wryly, “I haven’t figured out which yet.”

“It’s a combination of both,” I said confidently. “and it’s why you like me so much.”

Tsunade snorted.

“Hey,” I said suddenly, “About that escort?”

Tsunade tilted her head.

“Well, less of an escort, more of a guide really, I’m not planning on any fighting, although it's possible a bandit might gank me,” I said honestly. “Any single ninja will be sufficient, as long as they have been to the Land of Rivers before, and know the area, I’d like to set out tomorrow at the latest.”

Tsunade looked interested in a moment before shaking her head.

“A decent attempt at distracting me,” Tsunade said, amused, “You’ll be paying for the mission cost, but that shouldn’t be an issue.”

I pouted, no free missions for me then.

“Alright,” I clapped my hands, “Onto business!”

Tsunade leaned forward eagerly.

“The first thing you need to know is they have probably already caught at least one of the Jinchuriki.” I said honestly, “The Steam guy.”

“Han of Iwagakure,” Tsunade said seriously.

“Yeah! That’s his name,” I blinked, “I’d forgotten what it was, honestly.”

“There has been no news of his disappearance,” Tsunade said evenly.

“If you lost one of your two Jinchuriki and didn’t manage to recover the tailed beast after they were taken,” I said wryly, “Would you got tell your best friend Konoha about it?”

Tsunade snorted again; clearly, she had been spending too much time with that little pig that Shizune had been carrying.

“I suppose not,” Tsunade conceded, “Who was sent after him?”

Damn.

“I’m not sure who got sent after Han,” I said honestly, “My best guess was Deidara and Sasori.”

“Because he is from Iwa?” Tsunade said calmly, correctly guessing my thought process.

“Yeah,” I said easily.

“I suppose Roshi was next?” Tsunade wondered.

Roshi?

“Uh,” I said eloquently, “Is that the lava guy?”

Tsunade just nodded.

“No,” I said honestly, “The next was Fu.”

Tsunade fell silent for a moment, in thought.

“Hidan and Kakuzu went after her,” I said easily.

Tsunade nodded, already aware of the situation.

“Guess the next one,” I said cheekily.

Tsunade rolled her eyes before glancing away in thought.

“The six tailed Jinchuriki,” Tsunade said finally.

Utakata, I actually remembered that guy’s name, the tailed beast was the giant acid thing? A slug? Oh!

“Were you interested in Utakata because you can summon slugs?” I asked curiously. “Aww, that’s adorable.”

Tsunade twitched.

“Nope, not that guy, he’s actually the only one that I don’t know when he gets attacked,” I said pleasantly. “The next is Gaara of the Sand, three guesses who’s going to Sunagakure to get him?”

“Sasori of the Red Sand,” Tsunade said dryly.

“Along with Deidara,” I agreed, “Unless they find out that we know their plans now and change it up.”

Tsunade considered that for a long moment.

“You claim to have killed two of their members already,” Tsunade said seriously, “They might have changed this supposed plan already.”

Well, she was right, but I had already kind of thought of that, so I could guess broadly at what they might do instead.

“You’re right,” I admitted easily, “Take the order of attacks as a guide that is possibly very wrong.”

“How do you know this?” Tsunade said pointedly.

I ignored her entirely.

“The next after that was supposed to be the two-tails-chick from Kumo.” I said easily, “It might still be, but it won’t be Kakuzu and Hidan that do it now.”

“Were you a member of Akatsuki?” Tsunade asked intently.

“Nope,” I said breezily, “The three-tails turtle guy was next, but I’m fairly sure the Jinchuriki is already dead.”

Tsunade leaned back in her chair, annoyed at my evasiveness.

“Yagura Karatachi,” Tsunade said slowly. “The Forth Mizukage.”

Sounded about right.

“Obito Uchiha and Deidara go after that one,” I said thoughtfully. “Somewhere in a giant lake?”

There was a prior attempt on the three tails before that, from Kabuto, and the pink crystal chick, they weren’t Akatsuki though. Tsunade’s interest was seemingly peaked by the name.

“Kakashi’s dead teammate,” Tsunade said intently.

“Yep,” I said easily. “Kisame and Itachi go after, uh, Roshi-”

“Stop,” Tsunade said abruptly, “How is it that Obito Uchiha is still alive?

I groaned; this was going to open a can of worms, I was sure.

“This has a very long answer that is going to take us hours to cover.” I said honestly, “You sure you don’t want to keep it for next time? You should probably bring Kakashi in on it as well.”

“Give me the short version for now,” Tsunade said evenly.

I sighed before doing my best to summarise.

“Obito Uchiha was saved by a guy called Zetsu, on behalf of Madara Uchiha, who was at the time still alive but close to death.” I said simply, “Zetsu is some weird plant thing that can shapeshift or some nonsense, create duplicates and move through walls; he made a duplicate and had it become the damaged side of Obito’s body.”

Tsunade just stared at me.

“Got to love a short version, huh?” I said wryly.

“I’m not sure I believe half of what you just said,” Tsunade said seriously. “Madara was still alive then?”

“I told you it was long and complicated,” I said, annoyed, “Kisame and Itachi, go after Roshi.”

Tsunade didn’t stop me this time.

“Naruto was supposed to be Itachi and Kisame, uh, two years ago?” I said unsurely. “I’m pretty sure that happened before he went to find you, right?”

Tsunade stared at me for a long moment.

“You know that Naruto is a Jinchuriki.” Tsunade said seriously, “How did you find that out?”

“Same way I found everything else out,” I said easily, “The eight-tails-”

Tsunade cut me off again.

“I’m going to need a better explanation,” Tsunade said seriously.

“Too bad,” I said cheekily, “I want a lot of things, but we don’t always get what we want.”

Tsunade stared me down for a long moment, and the atmosphere grew very tense; her chakra was causing some kind of effect, almost like pressure on her surroundings.

“Besides, our deal was information about Akatsuki in exchange for training, food, and a place to stay.” I said easily, “Where my information comes from has nothing to do with Akatsuki, you’re digging into things that you haven’t paid for.”

The pressure continued to grow, along with her chakra. Was this killing intent, maybe? If it were, my weird body wasn’t reacting to it like I would imagine a person with chakra might. I don’t think I had a way to receive the effect.

“Trying to intimidate me when I’m co-operating, huh?” I said easily, “You’re going to have to buy me two drinks now before I answer any more questions.”

The pressure abruptly disappeared before Tsunade leaned back in her chair for a moment, seemingly taking some time to revaluate her approach, she had apparently gotten pretty heated for a minute there, so it was probably a good idea, considering I was a source of valuable information.

I honestly doubted she had done that on a whim, though. It had to have been calculated, likely something they had come up with while I was gone or standard procedure for getting information out of subjects who were being difficult.

“You understand why I’m digging on this issue?” Tsunade wondered.

“Sure,” I said honestly, “A guy turns up, you’re super attracted to him, but he's kind of suspicious, has all the information you need about the organization that even Jiraiya was struggling to dig up. It makes perfect sense that your worried about what else he knows, especially internally related secrets like Naruto being a Jinchuriki, his mother being the Jinchuriki before him, or even that his father was Minato Namikaze.”

Tsunade stilled.

“Yeah, imagine what I would do if I knew things like that?” I said easily, “I mean, I certainly wouldn’t help Team Kakashi in the Land of the Moon, or Team Naruto in the Land of the Vegetables. I certainly wouldn’t go around killing all the guys who are obviously evil, and intent on ripping the nine-tails out of Naruto, or even telling you about Gaara, so he doesn’t get ganked, or trying to help stop Akatsuki from combining all of the tailed beasts into a single creature and then destroying whichever ninja villages they like the least.”

I paused for a beat.

“Nope, I must be an enemy of Konoha, right?” I said resignedly, “Give me a fucking break, Tsunade.”