You have killed a Sinep (Lvl 8)!

+420 EXP!

+3 SP!

You became Level 32!

Every stat +1!

I take my fist out of the Sinep's body, covered in blood and slime. The green fluids mix with the white-

"...the fluid is... white, right?" (Me)

'Milky white, indeed.'

The sight of all the various fluids intermingling with each other bring various emotions to the surface. As to if they're positive or not, I'm not sure myself.

"I beat a ginormous dick to death, and then it came all over my right hand." (Me)

With one movement, I take the knife out, which I normally use for carving, and place it at my right elbow.

"Well, no choice but to cut it off." (Me)

'DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE CUT OFF MY ARM JUST CAUSE YOU'RE A BIT DISGUSTED!'

"I feel like I just jacked off my uncle, and I really don't need to be reminded of that memory." (Me)

I use all my buffs to strengthen my right leg to the utmost. Every vein in it starts to pulsate with immense force, barely able to contain it all.

"AAYYAAAAA!" (Me)

With a sharp kick, Mr. Sinep blasts off into the sky. A trail of blood and... white fluid-

'Semen.'

"You want the arm cut in cubes or as filet?" (Me)

'Not semen.'

-flies after it on the completely crushed streets. I'm surrounded by houses from both sides, but none of them are in any condition to offer shelter.

While some have been crushed in fights from the looks of it, the merge did the ol' switcheroo with the rest of them. In place of a majority of the houses are just ruins, ravines, or outright monster lairs.

Not quite the most comfortable environment, if you catch my drift.

"Guess I'll go back to my good ol' warehouse." (Me)

I stomp off into the direction of my new fortress of solitude, which is located pretty much on the outskirts of London.

"But man, I can't believe that it's already been a month that I defeated the Arachmot..." (Me)

'WHAT?! ONE MONTH?! WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?!'

"Let me just che- over the last month." (Me)

'I mean... yeah. Fair enough.'

My steps get accompanied by gross sounds of corpses getting squished beneath me. None of them posed any kind of threat while they were alive so it's no use to pay them any heed.

'I'm so badass.'

'And what happened in this month? I guess I must've spaced out or something.'

I stretch my thumb out and wink in direction of the non-existent camera.

"Nice transition to the summary!" (Me)

'Psshhh, just roll with it and try to hide the lack of skills from the author.'

(Author's note: Oi, you do know I wrote that?)

'So you're basically insulting yourself, good job.'

(Author's note: Aight, you die this arc.)

'Wait.'

'So, a shitload has happened. Let's start with my skill levels!'

'I have more pressing matters here.'

ACTIVE SKILLS

Lvl

-Berserker

-Orcs Strength

-Regeneration

-Enchanting

-Ember

(Lvl 5)

(Lvl 11)

(Lvl 7)

(Lvl 2)

(Lvl 3)

PASSIVE SKILLS

Lvl

-Pain resistance

-Unarmed mastery

-Leap

-Leather processing

MAX

(Lvl 6)

(Lvl 10)

(Lvl 8)

'Why there's such a low increase in levels? Well, there's a very simple reason for it!'

With "Ember" activated, my new black gauntlet starts catching fire. The bare shimmer around it really doesn't give off any dangerous vibes, even though it's easily 200°C hot.

"I one-shot every fucking mob in the vicinity!" (Me)

'I really don't want to die.'

"I'm having an existential crisis right now. It's not always about you, so be quiet for a sec." (Me)

'Pls no...'

Since I don't really have a chance to level up well, nothing really happened stat-wise. I did get new armor but that's really the only thing I've got going for me.

Alcalic Arachmots Carapace

-Rank: Rare

-Defense: 550

- +5 END; +10 STR

-Options: 1. High acid resistance

You don't like acid? Put this on.

Arachmots Stinger

-Rank: Rare

-Attack: 600

- +10 STR

-Options: 1. May inflict acid damage

You like to punch acid around? Put this on.

I pick a random corpse off of the streets. My fingertips melt through it with acid and "Ember" burning it simultaneously. With the lack of mana actively protecting it, it's really just like sand in my hands.

"BUT THIS ARMOR DOESN'T FIT MY FUCKING BUILD! WRRRRYYYYYYYY!" (Me)

The corpse crashes against the next ruins of a house close by and splashes a beautiful painting on the facade.

'I see the pain of the painter with every beautiful stroke. A masterpiece.'

"I let my emotions run free on this one. I call it "Bold and Brash"." (Me)

'Beautiful. And so original.'

Jumping off, I leap through the air faster than any car could in these battered streets. Thanks to my various buffs, I could put a certain blue hedgehog to shame.

'Say that again when you've actually broken the sound barrier.'

"Got it." (Me)

'If you really remember this conversation then, I'll actually scream.'

Without the surrounding monsters being any threat to me, there's no need for me to make any intermediate stops. Normally, such a tempo would make me unable to breathe, but even my lungs are strengthened by my buffs.

Humid, and yet cold, summer air brushes my face, drying any sweat that accumulated on my forehead. The feeling of liberty in the air while practically flying is a nostalgic blast from my time in the past.

When I wasn't abandoned by my own father and banished to hell.

When I still had some kind of innocence left.

'But my uncle took it from me.'

'I'm really giving it my best to ignore these comments but you're making this really hard.'

"This is a genuine cry for help." (Me)

'HELP WITH WHAT?!'

Nonetheless, the hit of nostalgia doesn't stop me from crossing about 75 meters with every vault. Even if my current base is at the outskirts of this city, my superhuman speed guarantees a soon arrival.

I land at the huge entrance of the storage hall. It's located right in front of a river, which would do well for beautiful scenery if the grey and bleak walls had any windows.

It's about 200 square meters big, so I have quite some space to work with, but until now, I don't even know how to use half of it.

I'm an expert in interior design, it's just that you can't get good furniture in an apocalypse.

Trust me, I've checked.

'I still can't believe you just abandoned the maids.'

My mind wanders to the group of precious attendants I'm still keeping under my wings. Their loyalty, surprisingly enough, didn't waver even after I left the mall.

Just goes to show that I'm a real people person.

I just think it might do them some good to be a bit responsible for themselves. Their skills and discipline are definitely top-notch, it's just that they weren't very proactive.

"How rude of you to think I abandoned them. You just gotta let your birdies fly once in a while." (Me)

'But... maids!'

"It hasn't been easy for me to let go either!" (Me)

*

*

In a random street, the same city as Nith.

A group of victorian maids bash, slash and kill their way through the wide road as their uniforms get soaked in blood. One would anticipate carnage to break out in such a large-scale fight, but their precision and coordination prevent any mistakes from occurring.

Their formation of different squads forms a whole party of a killer machine, led by one maid in red.

"COME ON GIRLS! WE HAVE TO BECOME WORTHY FOR OUR MASTER SO HE WON'T ABANDON US AGAIN!" (Headmaid)

Her stern voice rings over the battlefield, giving the signal for their final maneuver.

From the sides of the buildings, 16 maids lower themselves down from ropes and assassinate the horde of monsters coming their way. The small group of 12 has largely increased since the days of the shopping mall.

They kept their name as the maids of the shopping mall, but that's the only feature that remained the same.

With efficient commands and impressive skill for this stage of the apocalypse, the monsters are decimated in no time.

Carnage in the form of maid uniforms fills any spectators with fear.

*

*

Back to Nith.

I roll the solid and heavy metal door to the side, opening a tiny gap to the warehouse. The sturdy exterior proved useful against any small critters in the vicinity, serving as just one of many reasons for this hall to be my new base.

This would've been the moment where I turn on the lights if they weren't already switched on. What greets me is a levitating, old couch with a girl lying on top of it.

I'm living the dream.

"I'm back." (Me)

"Oh, yeah. G'day." (Jess)

With a slight sense of discomfort from the various fluids, I strip off my armor and throw it inside the "Arachmot pot" in the corner, in which I tend to craft my recent armors.

This time, it's serving as a washing machine.

Yesterday, it was a relaxing bathtub.

You really gotta work with what you got.

"You know-" (Me)

I jump on the same sofa as Jess, who pulls her legs back before I can sit on them.

"-you sure we're not a married couple by now? I mean, I just saved your parents from certain death not too long ago, and you're still hanging out with me." (Me)

She kicks me and I feel her kneesocks against my bare skin. I'd have to lie if I said I didn't like it.

'I curse fate for being associated with you.'

'Go away then.'

'Right, I'll just go for a quick jog around the park.'

"Might not want to kick me. Kinda into that." (Me)

Another kick.

"I think you don't get the point." (Me)

"You arse. First of all, we're not even close to marriage. I'm barely willing to call us friends. Secondly, I didn't abandon my parents. My father himself asked me to keep up good relationships with you since you're a valuable person in an apocalypse." (Jess)

"Wow, I'm so objectified. I don't get any love~." (Me)

She doesn't even look up from the book she's reading, which I've overlooked before, and answers immediately.

"I can kick you again?" (Jess)

She corrects her reading glasses, coolly.

"Man, if I hadn't asked your father a few days ago, I actually would've believed you." (Me)

I catch the kicking leg this time.

"MY MOTHER ASKED ME! I JUST MIXED THEM UP!" (Jess)

"Asked her as well." (Me)

I hear metallic clanking from the back of the storage, which already gives me a sense of what comes next.

"Aight, aight. Calm down. You can't do anything against my endless charm." (Me)

"You..." (Jess)

I dismount the couch and make my way to cleaning my filthy gear. Normally, I wouldn't touch the white fluid-

'Not semen.'

'Exactly.'

-without a few layers of gloves, but they're kinda hard to come by in an apocalypse.

As I start scrubbing, Jess returns her attention to the book.

"Hey." (Jess)

"Yep." (Me)

"Have you read this bef-" (Jess)

"Yeah." (Me)

"That was fast..." (Jess)

"Well, I've read my fair share of books in this world." (Me)

If I recall correctly, I should've actually read most books at this point in time. I get bored easily.

"I knew it. So you have lived on this planet before!" (Jess)

"Never denied it." (Me)

I hear her murmur something.

"Crap, he's right." (Jess)

After a few seconds of silence, she starts asking more questions.

"So? When did you live?" (Jess)

I think about it a bit, before answering. Gotta be real careful here or else she might think I'm some kinda weirdo.

"Would you believe me if I said Moses and I were pals at one point?" (Me)

"The fuck?" (Jess)

'Yeah, about that "weirdo" part.'

"But I did!~" (Me)

The scrubbing continues. It's nice to have such a mundane task once in a while, but the curious freeloader on my couch could just make herself useful as well.

"Were you a famous person?" (Jess)

"Nah... Just a small-town girl, livin' in a lonely world~" (Me)

"Are you going to answer any of these questions seriously?" (Jess)

"I'm always serious, babe." (Me)

"You mistook "always" with "never". And don't call me babe. The only reason you like me is because of my thighs." (Jess)

I take a glance at her porcelain skin, hidden under the red, checkered skirt and her kneesocks. She's got taste at least.

"Kinda true." (Me)

"Prick." (Jess)

Our conversation halts comfortably. Jess dedicates herself to her book again, and I go back to washing. We've gotten used to each other to the point that we don't need to keep a conversation going at all times.

*Scrub scrub*

*Scrub scrub*

*SCRUBBING INTENSIFIES*

"AAAAHHHHH FUCK THIS! I HATE ARMOR CLEANING!" (Me)

At my shout, Jess jumps a bit.

I put the still wet and mildly dirty armor on. Even more fluids start to mix up now, which doesn't make me feel any better. Imagine stepping in a puddle with new socks, just with your whole body.

"W- what are you gonna do?!" (Jess)

I shake some water drops off of my sleeve. This is the point where I regret putting the armor in the water in the first place.

"You remember the tower of flesh we saw when we escaped your school?" (Me)

"Quite." (Jess)

She doesn't even need to think to remember it, showing how much of an impression it made.

"Yeah, that. I'm gonna do that. I need a new armor, which actually fits my skills and additionally has a few more options." (Me)

The Arachmot I killed didn't even have a magic stone, so the armor right now is of way lower quality than my last one.

What I don't sacrifice for other people. Being such a nice guy is truly a burden.

"I don't understand why you're unsatisfied with your armor. The black color and the spikes on your forearms and hands makes you look at least a bit cooler." (Jess)

"Kyaaaa~, you called me cool~." (Me)

The clunky armor of the carapace is actually extremely uncomfortable and bad to move in since chitin is pretty much impossible to work with. You can't really mold it or melt it if you don't have the required tools to work with. You have to take the parts as they are.

'Like a DICK!'

"By Mephisto, can I turn you off or something?" (Me)

"I'm already quite turned off since you talked about the tower of flesh. It looked bloody disgusting." (Jess)

"Whoops, that wasn't meant for you just now." (Me)

I do the triple-tap, checking if I got my wallet, keys, and phone.

Don't got neither.

"By the way, you wanna come along?" (Me)

"Hmm..." (Jess)

She seems to be outweighing the pros and cons. Her reading glasses slip off her nose a bit, which she corrects immediately.

"Yeah, sure. I did a bit of leveling myself, but didn't progress a whole lot. I guess you could help me with that." (Jess)

"Nice excuse! Come on, let's go." (Me)

The floating sofa descends and she puts on her own armor, which I also created from the Arachmot. The only real difference is which stats get increased, and that's it.

We leave the warehouse with the tower as our goal. It's gigantic, so the spiked crown can be seen from nearly everywhere. That makes the direction way easier to make out.

Jess goes on a metal plate, making it float once again. There's not even the slightest bit of hesitation anymore, coming from her confidence in her own abilities. Her mana must be setting in nicely.

While she skates through the air, I just continue to jump like a little fucktwit.

"Fuck, I need cooler powers. I can punch shit and I'm fast as fuck boiii, but that's not really cutting it for me." (Me)

I continue to leap my way towards the goal. The only upside to the whole lack of flight is the fact that I'm still faster than the magic-using cunt.

"Hey Nith! Why don't you come up here? The view is beautiful!" (Jess)

She really shouldn't risk it. I thought she knew me better than that.

"Bet!" (Me)

She must've heavily underestimated my jumping ability as my sudden jump catches her off guard, despite her own provocation.

"No wait, that was a jo-" (Jess)

With grace, I land on her metal plate and tip it over.

She panics, trying to get it back under control. And, despite my prediction, she actually manages to keep the balance.

"HA! I DID IT!" (Jess)

Good job, Jess. You did it.

I'm very close to fucking with her a bunch more, but I can't just go too far on such a big trip. She might just turn the car around.

It doesn't take long before we reach our destination. We were able to fly around (or jump for fuck's sake) most enemies, so our trip was as enjoyable as it can get during an apocalypse.

"This looks gross." (Jess)

The squirming and moving flesh of the tower pulses with unknown liquid inside of it. Its sheer height pierces the clouds, going on indefinitely. If our goal is the top, we've got quite a bit to do.

Its pink color, spiked base, and top create the weird picture of a menacing version of a Sinep, but it doesn't seem to fit in any monster category. I know what I'm talking about, I saw most of them being created.

"You should get used to it, Jess. You're gonna see more of something like this in the future. Especially if you're with me." (Me)

"That was an innuendo to your dick, wasn't it?" (Jess)

A relatively small, red door is right in front of us. The slight tingle in my fingertips fills me with excitement, the tense atmosphere a precursor to danger.

"That's the problem with you. Can't get the nasty off your mind." (Me)

"Fuck you." (Jess)

"See?" (Me)

I can't help but hope that the tower will actually be challenging, even if Jess might not agree. These past few weeks were way too boring.

I didn't break out of hell to bully small mobs.

"Wait! Shouldn't we at least prepare something?" (Jess)

I turn around, without letting go of the convenient handle. I pretend to really care about her opinion, giving it some thought.

"Nah." (Me)

'Chad.'

I pull down the handle, while still facing Jess and open the door.

Jess's expression wasn't exactly pleased in the first place, but her face suddenly drops into shock.

"UHM..." (Jess)

It's easy to figure out what she's trying to say, so why waste any more time? Fun and adventure await us on the other side.

"Don't be shy now. It'll be loads of fun, I promise." (Me)

I take her hand and pull her towards me.

"NO! WAIT NITH! LOOK BEHIND YOU!" (Jess)

Too late. I enter the tower with her and the door automatically closes.

I still haven't turned around, but I hear growling behind me. The stinking breath of various monsters hits my nose, giving me the slightest hint of an idea of what's about to happen.

"Wait a sec, let me guess. There's a horde of monsters behind me." (Me)

She nods slowly, terror all over her face.

Finally, I turn around and see a whole room full of freaks. No, it can't even be described as a room, but more like a whole banquet hall filled with fun attractions for young and old.

I put my hands up in a stopping position.

"I'm giving you guys a chance. How about becoming friends?" (Me)

The growling stops. Even the atrocities seem to be confused and look at each other.

I take Jess by her hip, who's still frozen solid. Searching as best as I can, I spot 2 doors on the other side of the swarm.

Admittedly, we probably need to take some time off to make a plan after all. There's a tad more monsters here than I had anticipated.

Especially if they're literally fuming at their mouth for me.

"Just guessing that means no?" (Me)

Without even waiting for their answers, I turn up every single buff to the maximum. Once more, my muscles burst with energy as I give it my all.

The lobby is easily 120 meters in diameter, which makes it a hurdle to jump over in one go. The tower was impressively huge from the outside, but magic seems to distort space here.

Just as I jump off, the monsters realize that finally some prey has arrived, and chaos starts erupting below me.

Some monsters stack on top of each other or try to jump just to get us, but I'm too high for them to reach me.

"I know what I did wrong. I didn't knock." (Me)

"I should've known better!" (Jess)

"Hey, nobody's perfect." (Me)

I notice that I actually jumped in a perfect trajectory towards one of the doors, so I brace myself for impact.

Like a fucking ninja, I stretch out one leg, with Jess still in my arms, and kick through the door. Despite my cool form, the door just opens normally and immediately closes behind me as we land in the next room.

Luckily, this room is nothing like the monster trap just now. This time, it's a dark room, only lit by a few candles. In the middle of these 5 candles, is a pentagram with an altar in front of it.

A black-robed figure stands on top of it, with a hood covering their face.

"Welcome!" (???)

They take a step forward.

"To the darkest of realms! Where only demons and angels reside!" (???)

'Come again?'

Their first step goes well.

"Bow before your master, who stands between them! For I am the angel of demons!" (???)

'Yeah, not really getting the message here.'

It takes the second step.

Jess and I look at each other, the confusion of the current situation covering the panic from the other. It's definitely a good distraction from the horde of monsters outside.

"The forever cursed and banished one! I am- HYA!" (???)

The person lets out a girly scream, as she trips over her own robe and falls to the floor, right on her pentagram.

She doesn't even make the effort of standing up. Her entrance has been ruined and that's it for her.

I put Jess down, and approach the lying figure. My hand goes towards the hood and I pull it down.

2 protruding, tiny horns greet me under black, long hair, cut coarsely.

She raises her face and looks at me.

"Bow down I said! For I am the great fallen angel Risa!" (???)

I take a look at Jess, who doesn't even know what's going on anymore.

"Huh... so you're edgy?" (Me)