Shadows of elemental beings flashed before Charlie’s eyes. “Wait a minute, aren’t you the voodoo lady I’ve been trying to get to a safe place in the void,” Charlie looked up at the earth figure. “Yes, sweet child. I didn’t manage to jump to another mortal body before this one expired,” the earth figure sighed. “At least you get to move around,” the fire one said, “I’ve been stuck heating this whole damn rock in the middle.” “At least neither of you get consumed, then turned to pee… or have things living in you that just… you know what. I’m about to make myself vomit,” the water one said, “if I could I’d beat whichever one of my shit hat children trapped me in the waters of the mortal realm.” “Pfft… dumb asses,” the air one snickered. “You’re no better off. If you leave the atmosphere, you become nothing in the vacuum of space,” Fire stuck her tongue out at Air. “Wait— what?” Charlie squinted her eyes confused. “Didn’t realize there’d be anyone denser than you,” Air teased Earth. “Rather have substance than just be hot air,” Earth smirked as Air stomped her foot. “Will you two old bitties chill for a second? We gotta help our only grandbaby with good sense clean up this mess,” Water rolled her eyes. “Okay— but how is it that my father and uncles talk like condescending assholes— sorry pops— but you all are like sweet old grandmas?” Charlie asked, “You know what? Not important. How are you here? Where have you been?” “Well, your pops or Fire’s idiot grandson freed us when he punched two holes in the mortal realm,” Air indicated Fire. “I would call that a success not a failure since we are all standing here,” Fire looked smug, “and I’m looking vibrant as ever!” She did a dramatic flourish. “Anyway, now that we are out and have had our time we are going to look for better places to nap. In the meantime though, we’re gonna help you out, dear,” Earth nodded, then nodded to Benimaru, “and if we don’t that sweet child over there is going to need a good salve…” “Bless him,” the other three shook their heads solemnly. “Yeah, so definitely going to need to save Beni from Chad… but how? I’m half-mortal,” Charlie felt defeated. “She has a point,” Air nodded. “And this is why I’m about to be the favorite,” Fire cracked her knuckles, as they lit up. “Hold it, hot head,” Water pulled on her shoulder and it steamed, “since she isn’t like the rest of our children we have to do this together or you’re going to make her explode.” “Yeah— not exploding would be good,” Charlie laughed nervously. “I was going to be gentle!” Fire pouted. “Yeah, like how you were supposed to be gentle when we helped them make Pangea?” Earth glared. “Or how about when we were only supposed to make the dinosaur population smaller, not eradicate it,” Water leered. “Or that time before we caused the void to become the void began because you made the prior universe explode which is how our children decided to trap us all in the first place once they realized they truly couldn’t kill us?” Air looked bored. “Okay! Okay! Sheesh… destroy existence one time and everyone becomes a critic,” Fire threw her hands up. “So, you’ve done such a good job cleaning up after literally everyone since you were bestowed the title of the reaper, we are going to bless you with unlimited essence,” Earth smiled, “your levelheadedness and fairness has earned you that much.” “Unlimited?” Charlie asked. “We are basically going to make you stronger than most, but especially Chad,” Fire was pumped again. “Oh boy… Beni hates divine intervention stories where the main character suddenly becomes OP,” Charlie thought. “I mean, we could just leave you and everyone at Chad’s mercy,” Air shrugged reading her mind, “I’m sure Benimaru’s ass would come to appreciate divine intervention in this instance.” “Air, why you gotta be so crass?” Earth shook her head, “anyway, are you ready or not, child?” “Yeah, let’s do it— wait! What’s the catch? Like what’s the drawback here?” Charlie held up her hands. “Kids these days are so damn skeptical,” Water rolled her eyes, “we aren’t some witches or a demon you’re making a deal with. We are just four tired old ladies, one of whom is appreciative that every living thing will no longer be peeing on her.” “Or in her,” Air snorted. “I’m about to beat you,” Water glowered. “Ladies! I know we can nap for eternity, but I’m tired of waiting for this nap!” Earth redirected. “Okay, so, what do I have to do?” Charlie asked. “Just sit still.” They created a bigger and better scythe. “Cool!” Charlie reached for it. “Don’t touch it yet! You’ll still explode,” Fire held her hands out. “Right… so what’s left?” They each booped her nose in turn. “Done!” Air smirked. “That’s it— all you had to do was boop my nose?” Charlie blinked confused. “Yep! Peace out, child, it’s nap time,” they all yawned as they disappeared. Charlie stood up, “Huh… I don’t feel any different.” She reached for the scythe and power exploded everywhere. She panicked and sighed in relief when she realized she didn’t explode, too. “What the hell do you think you’re doing abomination?” Chad turned around glaring. “Um… saving my brother’s ass?” Charlie shrugged. “Wait— what?” Benimaru was confused. “Just— sit tight, Beni,” Charlie shook Earth’s words from her mind. “I thought the fact that I swatted you away like you were nothing would have removed any inclination of opposition from you,” Chad approached Charlie scythe at the ready, dragging Mal behind him. “Yeah— so, you probably can’t do that anymore, but I can do this!” Charlie swung her scythe. “Hah! You missed you dumb bitch,” Chad laughed. “No, I didn’t,” Charlie was examining her nails. “What do you mean?” Chad froze as a shadow towered over him. “Chad,” Mal said in a sing-song voice. Chad laughed nervously, “Uh— hey— Uncle Mal.” Mal took the old scythe and crushed it to dust. It caused everyone to get up shaking grogginess from their heads. “What— happened?” Sam groaned as he got up, “Mal… Mal!” Sam raced to hug his brother, “I’m so glad you’re free!” “Me too,” Mal hugged Sam back, “Me too.” “So— many new things happening today,” Maki nodded. “Mal! This is my wife, Maki! Maki, this is my twin brother, Mal!” Sam stood between them. “It’s nice to meet—“ Mal extended a hand. “We do hugs here,” Maki hugged him. “Yeah! It’s good to see you, Uncle Mal,” Benimaru joined the hug. “Malum, how I have missed seeing your face,” Tenseiga also joined the group hug. “But— we have the same face,” Sam pouted. Aaron also joined the group hug. “This— feels— warm?” Mal was confused. “That’s what it feels like to be completely corporeal, uncle,” Charlie crossed her arms smiling. “I think I can get used to this,” Mal hugged everyone back. Charlie grabbed Chad by the collar, “Where do you think you’re going?” “To plot my revenge strategy,” Chad crossed his arms. “You can do that while you file all this paperwork you’ve created. Don’t worry, I’ll cut it down quite a bit because I can fix most of this mess,” Charlie smirked. “Wait— don’t we need to prepare?” Mal asked concerned. “Nope, uncle, as of today you are on vacation,” Charlie flew up above everything, “Everyone has about 10 minutes to go back to the realms they belong to. If you are a being who cannot pass between them freely get a move on.” There was a mass scramble as the celestial armies returned home. Charlie took a deep breath, swiping her scythe across the breach in paradise. It stitched up as if it were never there. Next, she turned to the gaping maw. Benimaru, Aaron, and the others watched Charlie from the lawn of the Obsidian estate. “Is that—“ Alpharam asked. “Grandma’s powers? Yes,” Sam beamed with pride, “My Charlotte has ascended.” “Souls of those who perished in this war,” Charlie boomed, “Return to your bodies and live once more.” Charlie was able to reset everything to how it was before Chad created calamity. “Souls of the dead, please follow me and Chad here to be sorted for your eternal rest,” Charlie dragged Chad by the nape of his neck, “smile Chad!” She watched as all the souls made their way to her scythe after which she deposited them into purgatory for sorting and Chad in the void to sift through all the paperwork. — “Charlotte,” Chad looked at the stack on the desk in horror, “I have to go through all of this?” Charlie shook her head. “Not just that, but this,” she pushed a cart brimming with papers, “this,” five filing cabinets full of papers, “and make sure all of this is in order,” she revealed an infinite library of papers. Chad stood up, “All this is beneath me! Ah!” Charlie caused a crunch when she squeezed Chad’s shoulder to shove him back down in the desk chair, “Nope! It’s just perfect for you! Shut up and get started. The longer you argue the more time it’s going to take!” Chad grumbled. “Excuse me! Are you the manager?” Becky approached Chad’s desk as Charlie made her escape. Chad beamed, “Finally someone who respects my position! Yes! I am.” Chad was not prepared for Becky’s tirade. He was happy to stamp damnation on her paperwork. Charlie came back hours later to grab the stack of the damned, “There are a few too many here.” She quickly skimmed the stack, “Redo these while I guide the souls left in the stack.” The stack glowed and all the souls from the stack appeared. She tore a scar into the void where screams and groans could be heard. The souls began to tremble. “Don’t bitch out now. You had your whole lives to make better choices,” Charlie started directing traffic, “You could just as easily join them, Chad. Believe me, this is mild compared to where these guys are going.” Chad gulped and steeled his resolve to do his new desk job properly. “Good boy,” Charlie nodded in approval. “Couldn’t Kumiho help me?” Chad asked. Kumiho was next in line for damnation, “Master! Ack!” Charlie unceremoniously kicked her through the scar before closing it, “Nope! I think you two have had plenty of time hanging out together.” “Right…” Chad laughed nervously. “I’m going to get started on the mortal paradise stack. Keep working! As you have seen, you’re going to be here for a very long time,” Charlie waved as she took another stack of papers. — Benimaru nestled into Aaron who had his arms wrapped around Benimaru sleeping soundly. “Who would have thought I’d be here doing any of this,” he reflected over the last year remembering how scared he was of everything. “Everyone seemed to figure this was going to happen sooner or later,” Benimaru considered his relationship with Aaron, “I guess the two of us have been pretty dense.” Benimaru managed to wiggle out of bed and look out the window, “I’m also glad Charlie can do her job easier, though I still don’t trust Chad. I am thankful for whatever happened to Charlie.” Benimaru jumped when he felt arms wrap around his waist. “What’s wrong, Beni?” Aaron asked groggily. “Nothing, just thinking back on everything,” Benimaru leaned his head back into Aaron’s shoulder. “It’s all pretty wild, isn’t it?” Aaron yawned. “You should probably still be in bed,” Benimaru glanced back. Aaron groaned, “You’re right. I feel like I got hit by a bus still. Are you coming back any time soon?” “Yeah. I just need a couple more minutes,” Benimaru touched a hand to Aaron’s. “Okay,” Aaron nodded as he made his way back to bed. — “Mal! You’re supposed to be relaxing!” Sam reprimanded. “I- I am relaxing?” Mal was looking tense in his beach chair. “You look stiff as a board, brother,” Sam shook his head. “Do— people often stare like this?” Mal looked around the beach as people stole glances in their direction. “Well, it’s not often they see a group of handsome guys such as ourselves hanging out on the beach,” Tenseiga sipped a Mai Tai as he winked at a passing group of women. “I— I guess so,” Mal was on his fourth Pina Colada. “Mal, you’re doing a good job keeping your powers in check, there’s nothing to worry about,” Sam pat Mal on the shoulder. “I know…” Mal fidgeted. Tenseiga sighed, “I don’t think a crowded beach was a good idea for Mal’s first official outing. He did spend a long time alone in the void.” “Right, but he can’t spend all his time alone in his room now that he’s out,” Sam argued. “Um… I’m right here,” Mal muttered, then squeaked. A drunk woman landed in his lap. “I thought I was seeing double, but it looks like I’m not that wasted yet,” she smiled up at Mal, “I hope this seat isn’t taken.” Before Mal could speak Sam said, “My brother is single.” “Wonderful!” she made herself even more comfortable. “A-are all— m- people this warm?” Mal managed. “What?” “My brother was a mortician for a long time,” Sam saved. “Ah! Well, I promise living people are way more fun,” she smirked up at Mal. “How so?” Mal tilted his head to the side. Tenseiga shooed the woman away, “We’re not quite there yet, ma’am!” Mal sighed in relief as Sam glared at Tenseiga. “Sorry, brother,” Mal muttered noting Sam’s discontent. “Don’t mind him, Malum, we just need to get you to relax,” Tenseiga pat Mal on the shoulder glaring back at Sam, “let’s try a massage.” “What’s that?” Mal asked as Tenseiga led him to a shop along the beach. “You’ll see!” Tenseiga smirked. — Tetsuya was staring up at the sky. He was glad Charlie stayed long enough for the bath, but he didn’t feel like they had much more time alone. “I hope she comes back soon…”