I'm closest to death I've ever been, but I made it: I successfully gave the druidic lynch squad the slip. My super clever escape plan was to run all the way to the inn next block and enter my room via window. Not that I have the energy to go any further, and besides, who'd think of looking for me within shouting distance? I think I can trust the townspeople to be completely unhelpful in their search.

Killing half of the demon hunting group the Druidic Clans sent, and managing not to be sent back to hell the hard way... I think I can congratulate myself on the heroic victory. If their combined first strike hadn't been interrupted by the crowd, it probably would have ended right there and then though.

A demon is much stronger than even a group of humans, but there are some powerful techniques to counter us too. Presumably they couldn't send more people, since bigger excursion to a different nation would have had diplomatic consequences... Dead tired, I fall asleep while pondering the battle and its context.

As I wake up, my wounds are slightly better. My hand, which was bitten by snake, was seemingly cleansed by the hellrime - I'll call it that since it's basically cold equivalent of hellfire, and why should I break the naming theme? - but my chest is almost comically swollen by the snake venom.

Numerous other wounds still throb all over my body too. I could heal faster by using the succubus kiss' draining effect, and I'm sure volunteers from townspeople would be numerous, but I'm more comfortable with slower healing than I'm with getting up close and personal with strangers.

Where'd Celica go anyway? The battle would certainly have devolved into a huge mess with her around, but I bet we'd been the ones left standing. She seems like a ditz, but her battle skills are top notch. ... I hope the druids ran into her and she tore them a new one. With this thought I get into the inn's main room, and guess who I find?

The druids are sitting there, sipping ale. What the hell is this? Shouldn't you be scourging the countryside in search of me instead? And I thought your religion forbid all fun things, including ale? It might be the poison or numerous wounds, but this all feels tad bit unreal.

I watch as if on a slow motion film as they turn to look at me and their eyes widen. That very instant I gather reckless amount of hellrime with both hands and slam them with a coldness like that of the deepest, emptiest corner of space.

"Ha. Hahahahah! DIE!"

As the mist clears slowly, I see that that actually turned them - and everything else in a cone shaped area - into icy statues complete with incredulous expressions. One of them was just about to shoot me with his blowpipe. Nice reflexes, but not good enough. In any case, my suckerpunch was a fantastic success, and I can now safely feel victorious.

"Anyone else complaining that the ale is too warm?"

Everyone in the inn stares at me in a deep, deep silence and then just pointedly acts like nothing happened. Hah. Hahahahah.

My elation is, however, short lived when my field of vision darkens around edges and closes in completely. I realize I've used far too much of the essence that forms a demon for my hellrime blasts. As I begin to faint I have a creeping feeling this might be a very bad thing.

***

I drift in an empty cold darkness for unknown amount of time. I'm too tired to think anything else than that the me as I currently am is very close to ceasing to exist altogether. I know this somehow. The coldness doesn't feel bad though. I begin to find it comforting, and I start focusing.

I know that the power of demons comes from the mortals of this world. The one I feel aligned with the most is... it's manifestation of a concept, but what is it called? I think part of it is the feeling a victim of frostbite gets when the pain turns into numbness and brain begins closing down. The feeling that it's alright to sleep now, it doesn't matter if you give up.

Lack of meaning, lack of hope...

Apathy.

I never understood many of the other concepts - or sins - especially lust, which as a succubus is normally expected of me. But I have always understood apathy.

However, what I see now is like abyss, far too deep, cold and empty. This was inside me? In its depths I almost see something... I can't quite recognize what it is. It's something recurrent... same but different... Could it be...? I can see my other se-- NO!

"NOOOOO!"

I recoil and jump wide awake, looking around wildly. .........What was I doing?

I find myself in my bed in the inn's room. I feel like my flesh has atrophied to nigh skeletal level, but as I look at it, apart from partially healed wounds, it looks unnaturally flawless as always. Alright, I've had enough of these mind games. I concentrate on the reality. That is when I notice Celica.

"Rise and shine~ sleepy head!"

"Ugh."

She looks her usual tiresomely peppy self. Actually, too much so. She did something.

"You really went to the edge~ Ais~."

"I know."

"Getting killed isn't so bad~, you didn't~ have to go all empty like that~."

Oh, right. Letting those druidic assholes kill me and reforming in hell afterwards was an option too... I didn't even consider that. I'm unsure why... Of course, had I given up, I'd have been annoyed about it potentially forever, but that's not all. Something about the reforming process makes me avoid it at all costs - I just can't place what exactly. Still, I should have been more careful.

"Celica, you need to tell these things."

"Tehe~! Big sis believes that had to be learned the hard way~."

"You just forgot to say it, didn't you?"

"Ah~, busted~!"

Maybe she'll tell me more about it now?

"So, hellfire... how exactly do you reload it?"

"Hummm~... Any sin's essence goes~. Get somebody~ to do it for you, and you get the essence~.

Wait... That's why demons ask evil deeds as their due in contracts? Ugh... I've missed several chances to get that power already...

"Celica is partial to this nice mixture of lust~ and wrath~. Lust with edge and wrath with playfulness, you know what I mean~?"

"On some level."

"But was I so~ surprised when I came~ here! Ais~ made some nice~ ice~ sculptures! ... They were pretty cold~."

"...You licked them, didn't you?"

"How'd you know~?! Celica's tongue got stuck in a bit difficult place~..."

"..."

I don't want to know what place that would be...

"But really~, Ais~ and ice~ really match well~. Nice job putting that sloth of yours in use~!"

"Apathy."

"Is that a different flavor~?"

"Not laziness. Deeper, indifference and lack of feeling."

"Nnnnn~, Celica doesn't get that too well~."

"You're all about feeling, so it's understandable."

"But big sis knows Ais isn't unfeeling~."

"You aren't in heat all the time either. ... Right?"

"Riiight~. Not 'always'~."

"So, the capacity for it is there, but it's not used all the time."

"You may be right there~."

"By the way, you didn't do anything... weird while I was unconscious?"

"So~ suspicious! Buuu~! Big sis~ did nothing weird~! ...At least not on the Celica scale~, tehe~."

I don't want to know...

***

After the battle and the period of several days I had been out, I now loaf around the town and its vicinity. The townspeople treat me with much more care now. While I had dispatched those adventurers before, the concept of being stabbed is something they can understand and it causes no special fear. But, when I turned the remaining druids into ice sculptures, they had remainder that even if I'm a particularly civil example of one, all demons are very dangerous.

Normal ice magic can't do that by the way, it could coat and pierce them in ice, but coldness on the level of hellrime is beyond it. As I understand, a mortal mage might be able to channel hellrime or -fire by making some kind of special contract, but that's very rare, dangerous and carries a social stigma.

Well, at least not everyone avoids me. That one career drunk - the same who came for life advice before - still jokingly asks me to cool his ale. Sorry, I have to recuperate before I can do that again. Celica didn't know how long it'd take me, but with my luck it could be years before it's safe to use again. Demons much older than me have had time to gather huge reserves during the centuries and can use their power liberally, when needed, but I'm currently running on fumes.

Still, while I'm still not unwelcome here, the atmosphere has become chillier. I believe it's time to move on. For one, my reason for being here, namely getting magic items from quests, had failed and I have no further aspirations in this here fine town. But therein lies my problem.

Where exactly should I move on? I have no goals, except maybe filling an invisible meter of the demonic essence, or continuing search for magic items. But those are both just means to an end, end which I don't have. I can't remember why I did what I did. I should, shouldn't I? At least, even if there had been no aim, I should remember not having one. But there is only emptiness where I expect memories to be.

This... was it like this before? I have this sinking feeling I lost more than just the time spent in coma--

"Ais wake up~, there's a summoning~!"

Huh? Not this again! Since back when I was directly summoned (and promptly ambushed), I've been leery of lights appearing near me. And one such summoning has apparently targeted me again. It's the druids again, isn't it? As if I'd let those tree-humpers to pull the same trick again! I leap in the air immediately to dodge it. But then something... no, someone appears from the summoning light.

Is it teleporting druids now? Give me a break...