“So Dean, what did you get from the game?”

His eyebrows furrow “Game? You mean all this?” He gestures to the world around us “A *game*. You’ve got some sense of humor. No, I think God judged us and sent us all to Hell, and we’re here to suffer for as long as we can.” Noticing my startled expression, he continues “Yeah… to answer your question, I take *this*” he half speaks, half grunts as he hefts a greatsword the size of his 6 foot tall body “and I ruin everything I hit with it. It wasn’t much use in that melee we started in, but it kept me alive.” His face darkens for a second. “What about you.” he doesn’t look at me while he asks, keeping his eyes on the ground near my feet.

“I’m…” uh… what am I. The game thinks I’m an Energy user, but that whole concept isn’t a thing for almost anyone before the game started, or we went to Hell, whichever. I don’t think Dean would understand. “-a healer.” I finish “I use a bar of Energy to heal wounds.” Testing the waters, maybe he knows something.

“You use Stamina to heal? That’s weird. Also why call it Energy? Whatever, same thing.” It most definitely is not “But healing, that’s pretty useful. You cast spells and replenish HP? Like a cleric or something?”

“Uhh… it’s more like meditating.”

He frowns at that. “Weird.” Then suddenly “Hey, Rav!” Dean shouts to someone behind me. I look over my shoulder to see a frail looking guy in what must be robes look up, dazed.

“C’mere!” Dean yells again, motioning towards us.

Rav doesn’t react for a moment, but slowly gets to his feet and plods over.

“Rav, Andy-” Anthony “here is a healer. Show him.” Dean gestures at Rav’s torso area.

Rav doesn’t say anything, but blinks a few times. More emotion than he’s displayed up to this point.

He slowly moves one hand, covered in voluminous robes, to the other, uncovering it.

Or where it would be, if it were there.

An angry, red stump exists where his hand once was. No sign of the hand.

“Oh...Oh my god” I breathe “what the hell happened?” Ral doesn’t react, but Dean supplies “Rav’s a wizard. Casts spells, uses hand gestures, fireballs, the whole deal. One of the monsters took exception to that.” He doesn’t continue.

I… Oh fuck. I barely know how to fix basic cuts… and that’s just on me! How the hell… how do I begin? Can I even use my Energy to help him? Can I regrow the limb? I think I might be able to attach a new one but… “Do you have the hand?” I ask, hoping.

Once again, Dean supplies the answer “You can go ask the monster for it, but I doubt it’s willing to share. Do you need it?” Fuck me, I don’t know whether to be honest about how incompetent I am or possibly subject this guy to Energy-Medical experimentation.

“How...How badly do you want your hand back?” It’s not a fair question. I know. But I need him to be desperate, otherwise I can’t justify even trying what I think I can do to help.

Dean frowns at me, but says nothing.

Rav’s eye twitches, and a word more like a sigh than anything else escapes: “bad.”

Oof. I was afraid of that.

“I might be able to help you, Rav,” I begin “but I have to warn you, this isn’t…” well I can’t say it isn’t magic cause it really is “safe. This is not safe. I will do my best to heal you without putting you in harms way, but I can’t guarantee your safety. I don’t think you’ll die no matter what I do, but… It might get worse.” I finish, rather lacklusterly. I’m really not sure I can help.

Rav doesn’t do anything, but, after a moment, slowly holds his stump slightly out.

Fuck.

I motion for him to sit with me, trying to gather my thoughts in the precious few moments it takes him to comply.

I remember trying to fix my hand when it got mangled. There were a bunch of colors I didn’t understand, but I’m sure I could fix them if I had the time, energy, and...well, Energy. But I haven’t yet- Wait. “Did you already use your body upgrade? That healed m-” Rav shows the first bit of real expression in somehow managing to look more unhappy while he nods his head. “Rav took that as soon as he landed here, before the big fight. Said his ‘mentor’ advised him to do so.”

Oh.

On the one hand, he probably only made it through the clusterfuck at the start because of that advice (which, by the way, I’m not at all bitter about not getting), but on the other hand, having that backup to heal me of my more permanent wounds was a big deal. Very unlucky.

“I’m so sorry. I’ll do my best.” I blurt out. It’s annoying to know how dumb you sound. How little confidence you inspire. Not a great start.

Cutting my losses as far as bedside manner goes, I do what I am only marginally more qualified for and grasp his arm above the stump, feeling out with my own Energy.

In my Energetic space, looking at my own body, I can see I’m full up on Energy. It steadily, rhythmically courses through my body, like a second heartbeat following unseen vasculature.

Alright. I know I have at least three kinds of Energy: the green, the gold, and the deep red. Two of those are out off the bat; the red for obvious ‘I don’t want to kill him’ reasons and the gold because… well I don’t know if I can Dominate humans, but I really don’t want to try. Plus, it wouldn’t help. That just leaves green. It heals me… so it might also be able to heal other people.

Seems reasonable, but that’s only half of the equation. The easy half.

The hard half is that I can’t really control my Energy once it’s outside me. It’s just... not in my perception anymore. Poof.

And healing is pretty exact. I have to put the stitches in the right place, or it would… do something? I don’t actually know. Mental note: experiment with that. Hopefully I wouldn’t fuck myself up too bad…

The point is: I can’t heal what I can’t see. Finally, I couldn’t even heal my own hand, and it was still attached to me. How, the ever living hell, do I even begin to *make a new hand*!?

Ahhh!

FUCK.

I’m so unbelievably out of my depth.

Why did I agree to this.

I got his hopes up and what, I can’t even heal his stump wound, let alone give him his hand back!

My Energy is coursing faster, seeming to sense my agitation and reflecting it. Interesting insight, but ENTIRELY USELESS RIGHT NOW.

Think. There has to be something I can do. Think. I’ve done so little with external Energy, just the rat and the cathid. The differences are innumerable, the rat was agitated, unwilling, actively hostile, and fundamentally different than the much more peaceful, actively willing cathid. The rat attacked me when I pushed my gold Energy at it, like my assault, because it was unwanted, allowed an attack back through. A retaliation. Even when it was completely incapacitated, it still fought back Energetically. So… a mental defence? I think Rav is willing, but I can’t see into him. Maybe he isn’t? Maybe he’s too agitated? Both would make sense, I’m a stranger and offering voodoo magic to fix him. He would be right to be suspicious. Guarded. One way to verify… I push some green Energy through my hands. Or… I try to. It’s like pushing on a wall. No give, no flexing, nothing. My Energy slowly pools in my hands, a soft green, but nothing moves through.

“Rav, I need you to relax… and I know this is strange, but I need you to trust me. My healing is diminished if you resist it.”

Nothing changes for a moment, and I wonder if maybe didn’t hear me, or that I’m on the wrong track, but a trickle moves through.

And like clockwork, small black tendrils appear among my mass of green. “Rav, you’re fighting me, I really need you to stop or I can’t help you. I can’t focus on both at once,” I explain, cutting off the trickle and eliminating his attack.

After waiting a few moments, I push again, and more flows through. A small black tendril appears, but diminished much further from before.

“You’re doing great, just keep it up.”

With inching, grudging slowness, the attacks stop and the trickle increases more and more. Before long, I’ve dumped half of my Energy into him. But what can it do? Probably just passively heal him…

It’s something, but I’m disappointed.

But…

But.

Something’s different. The dark space that makes up my body has changed slightly, like a strange growth has been added to my hands, connecting them.

No, not a growth. A stump.

And it isn’t my stump.

I can see his arm. It’s entirely full of my Energy, concentrating to points of bright green stars at many points along the wound.

It's... beautiful.

I’ve never seen anything like it.

The lights swirl and twinkle, forming perfect and ever-changing diamonds. It’s almost enough to make me forget what I’m doing.

Why I’m doing it.

I need to help this guy. I’d say it was out of the goodness of my heart, but that would be a lie. I don’t know him, and I don’t care about him. I *do* care about his loyalty and usefulness both as a companion and as a link to this group. If I can give him back his hand… to say he’ll look favorably on me is likely a gross understatement.

He *could* just take it and run, but I think not. I think he’s devoid of hope and this would bring it back. People tend to like that.

And if I fail, I’m unlikely to be well received. I’ll have to find something else to ingratiate me, or just set off on my own. Both are options, both require extra work.

Plus, I could use people to watch my back while I’m sleeping.