The ‘courtroom’ was basically just a few tables and bleachers placed in the throne room, and it was packed with demons. The crowd was a mass of eyes, horns, animal ears, wings, tails, and yes, tentacles. My favorite.

Worse than the crowd, there were actually cameras here. Not good. If I had to make a complete idiot of myself in front of an audience, I didn’t want a recording of it.

Fortunately, I had the law on my side, so to speak.

I walked up to the king sitting in his throne. Yaika and Minzfel stood close. Yaika, despite seeing me almost puke up my guts at the management office, gave me a smile and a wave. Was she trying to calm my nerves? Was she mocking me? Probably neither. She was so clueless, she probably didn’t even understand how fucking stressful this was.

“Hey, your majesty,” I said, trying to keep myself from stuttering.

“Ryley!” The king’s voice came out so deep I felt it reverberate in my stomach. “The trial will begin shortly. I remembered the ‘lawyer’ and ‘prosecutor’ you told me about.” He had a self-satisfied grin on his face. “Feel free to take your place behind the… special lawyer table.” He gave me a thumbs up like it was the only this he could do to contain his excitement.

“Yeah, thanks,” I said. What? Where the tables sitting in the middle of the room supposed to be high-class or something? They literally just brought in some folding tables. Special lawyer table my ass.

“We should be starting shortly,” the king continued. “Feel free to let me or any of the guards know if you need anything.”

“Well, actually…” I leaned in a little closer to him. “There’s a problem.”

The king raised an eyebrow. “A problem?”

“Yep. There are no cameras allowed in a trial.”

The king glanced over at his two hell-spawn, and then back to me. “Is that so?”

“Yeah, it is.” It really was. I might have been giving out the information to avoid public embarrassment, but it was the truth. Well, at least, that’s what I had heard anyway.

“Really?” Yaika frowned. “That’s no fun.”

I shrugged. “Rules are rules.”

“What are you up to, Allard?” Minzfel glared at me with his usual punch-able face. “You better not be saying you don’t have the confidence to help my Violetta!”

Of course I didn’t, but I couldn’t just say that. “I’m just worried that… uh, Violetta’s reputation could be hurt if there are recordings of the trial.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Minzfel asked.

“It’s happened in my world before.” I looked down at the little freak. “Even if she’s declared not guilty, things that come out in the trial could affect public opinion of her. It’s better for her if we don’t broadcast that to everyone in your world.”

Minzfel’s eyes turned glassy like he could burst into tears. “Father, we have to get those cameras out of here.” Manipulating him was easier than I thought.

“I understand.” The king rested his cheek on his fist. “Are there any other matters you need to bring to my attention?”

I paused. “Actually…”

“Go on,” the king sighed. Apparently, I was taking the wind out of his sails or something. It was his own damn fault for throwing this stupid trial together so suddenly. Why did I have to deal with his whining?

“I forgot to mention the jury.”

“Jury?” all three of them repeated it.

“Basically, it’s a group of normal people that listen to the trial,” I said. “They’re supposed to be the ones that decide if Violetta’s guilty or not.”

“Why did you tell me that it was the judge that held this privilege?” The king narrowed his eyes. I could almost feel myself being ripped apart by those big beefy arms from his glare alone.

“W-Well… the judge is part of that process too,” I said, not knowing what the fuck the judge actually did. “I just thought we’d have to more time to get the trial ready, so I didn’t mention it.”

“And where does this ‘jury’ come from, exactly?”

“The lawyer selects them,” I said.

“You select them?”

“…Yes?” I found the confidence in my voice slipping again. “The idea… is to find people that won’t be biased to my client.”

The three royal pains looked at me suspiciously.

“Sounds fake,” Yaika said in her usual lazy tone. “Are you sure you’re not making this up, Ryley?”

“I’m not,” I said. I wanted to tell them to trust me, but it almost seemed like saying that would make them doubt me even more.

After a short pause, the king finally spoke. “I have a solution.”

Oh great.

“You’re worried about a jury being biased against Violetta, correct?” he crossed his arms, his self-satisfied smile making a comeback. “We simply won’t have a jury! I am the king, after all. I am the only one fit for such a large responsibility.”

This was coming from the guy who had never thought to hear someone out before he had them put to death. Yeah, I was still bitter about that.

“So you’re judge, jury, and executioner, huh?” I mumbled, much louder than I had intended.

“Executioner?” the king asked.

Yaika slapped me on the arm as slowly as possible. “That’s what the execution squad is for, silly.”

I sighed. “It’s just an expression.”

“I’m glad we’ve come to an understanding!” The king hit me in the same place that Yaika had. The difference between their strikes was obvious. I was going to have a bruise in the morning.

“One last thing,” I said, knowing I was pushing my luck. “This trial’s really only going to work if we have some laws to enforce. We need stuff in writing. Stuff on the books. We can’t really convict anyone of a crime if the idea of a crime doesn’t even exist.”

“Laws?” The king scratched his chin. “I do seem to remember Yaika mentioning something about those. Those must be important.”

Yeah. Laws were just a little important in court.

“So do you see what I mean?” I asked, the pit in my finally stomach start to subside. “We can’t have the trial until we establish the rules.”

Minzfel and Yaika exchanged a look with their father. It was the kind of look that told me that they didn’t see the problem I was literally explaining to them in the simplest way I could. Why the fuck couldn’t they just nod, agree, and stop the trial? What was the point of being an expert if no one listened to you?

“Ryley, the people of your world think too hard.” The king laughed. “We’ll create the laws as we go!” He put one of his hands up by his mouth and shouted. “Brad! Have a notebook ready for the trial!”

Brad was standing on the other side of the room talking with Rayne. As soon as he heard his name, he turned and gave a big thumbs up. Why was doing a thumbs up so normal for a society where a sizeable portion of the population didn’t even have thumbs? On that note, what was the point of turning if you had eyes all over your body, anyway?

“There!” The king looked back at me. “That should rid you of your worries.”

Worries cured. Yeah, Violetta was fucked. It was looking even worse for me.

“Now, I suppose I’ll have to let the film crews know…” The king stood up from his throne. “Attention, my loyal subjects!” he said, his voice exploding. “It has just been brought to my attention that we cannot allow cameras into the trial.”

There was a collective groan from the audience.

“I understand, but I’m afraid it’s the rules.” The king grabbed the same spot on my arm he had slapped and dragged me next to him. “You may direct all of your complaints to Mr. Allard after the trial is finished.”

Dick move, your majesty.