I woke up on the stone cold floor of an iron-barred room. Yeah, the likelihood this was a dream was plummeting more every second.

My body ached all over. That eyeball covered freak meant business. Not the kind of guy you’d want to challenge to a wrestling match. I had a whole new respect for the women in tentacle porn. Not that I watched anything like that, of course. In fact, I don’t even know what that is.

I got up and noticed the tattered clothing on my body. More like rags, really. Not very comfortable, but at least they had the decency to cover me up.

One wall of the room was just bars, leading out a dim hallway. On the opposite side, there was a small barred window near the top of the ceiling. Judging by the moonlight coming through it, it led outside. Judging by the height, I would need to be significantly better at jumping to reach it. Yeah, not happening.

I walked over to the barred wall and placed my hands around them. It was dim with only one hanging light, but I could make out the stone wall on the other side. In other words, I couldn’t see shit. Nothing that gave me hope of breaking out, anyway.

“Hello,” I called out, my voice echoing down the corridor. “Is anyone there?”

No answer. Only the sound of the wind howling outside my window.

I let myself slide down to my knees. What god did I piss off to end up like this? My memory was still fuzzy, but the last thing I remembered was going to sleep in my dorm room. The next thing I knew, I was being screamed at by some punk for knocking over a full body statue of someone named ‘Violetta’. When I said I wanted to smash girls, this wasn’t what I meant.

“Hey, get up,” a voice as cold as ice sent a shiver through my spine. I looked up to see a woman in her late twenties standing on the other side of the bars.

“Uhh…” I was at a loss for words. Not because she was beautiful or anything like that. I mean, I guess she wasn’t ugly either. She just had the darkest circles under her eyes I had ever seen in my life.

She was thin with pale sickly skin. Her eyes peered back at me like two black holes, ready to suck me in and kill me instantly with the sheer power of their gravity. So yeah, a real old-fashioned beauty.

“You’re… Ryley, right?” she said, slightly giggling a giggle that was more like tiny little coughs.

“No.” I got back on my feet. “I’m the other guy that you took and threw in a cell.”

“Oh, I see.” The woman nodded, her unkempt purple hair falling in her face. “Sorry to bother you then.” She turned to walk off, albeit extremely slowly.

“Wait!” I put one of my arms through the bars. “Don’t go.” Maybe sarcasm wasn’t a part of demon culture or something.

The woman turned back to me with the raw speed of a tortoise. “Yes?”

“I’m Ryley,” I sighed. It really wasn’t the time for me to be a smartass. Maybe these psychos were finally ready to let me go.

“Oh good.” A slight smile crept across her face. “My father’s ready to give you your execution now.”

Oh good. OH GOOD.

“What did I even do?” I yelled. “If this is about that statue, I’ll pay for it. Hell, I’ll pay for two of them, I don’t care. Please, just let me out of here!”

“I dunno, Minzfel’s pretty mad at you,” the woman said, placing her finger on her chin. “And when Minzfel’s mad… father gets pretty desperate to make him happy again.”

“You said that guy’s your father, right? That Demon King… Hook something-or-other guy?” I could feel the fear creeping into my voice. “Can’t you… talk him out of it or something?”

The woman blinked slowly. “I mean… I guess I could.”

“Please...” I tried to smile. “I’ll… I’ll do anything.”

“You’re not a demon, are you?” she asked.

“No, I’m definitely not,” I answered as plainly as I could.

“Tell me about what you were saying before.” She moved closer to the bars. “About that… ‘trial’ thing.”

Trial? That’s right. I had almost forgot. I wasn’t even getting a trial. Apparently, they didn’t do that here. Their version of a trial was whatever the little prince told his daddy to do.

“It’s… kind of complicated,” I sighed. “Basically, it’s a thing you’re supposed to hold when someone’s accused of something… Like if they’re accused of killing someone, for example. Some people say why they think they did it, and others say why they think they didn’t.”

“How come?”

“Uh, it’s to keep people from being executed when they didn’t do anything wrong.” I made sure to pour on the emphasis to that last part.

“Hmm...” The woman’s dark eyes looked almost glazed over as she watched me. It took her a minute before she finally answered. “When someone’s accused of that stuff, we usually just kill them.”

“Yeah, I can see that.”

“I’m… Yaika, by the way.” She giggled, pushing her bangs out of her eyes. “The oldest daughter of the Brinestein royal family.”

Oh, yes. It was clearly time for pleasantries. Who cared? All I wanted was a guarantee that she’d help me get out of there.

“O-Oh, n-nice to meet you.” I tried to stay calm, practically biting down on my tongue in the process. “So… you’ll help me then?”

Yaika tilted her head. “Help you with what?”

I was so fucked.