The silence is what woke Kairen. The sandstorm that had slowly buried him had abated, giving way to a peaceful silence. Looking upwards from where he lay, he could already see the sun overhead, a good distance along its celestial path. He’d lost track of time, there in the storm, but it was clearly the next day. The sun was bright enough to make him wince, and he closed his eyes while he slowly took stock of his situation. For the first time in weeks his back no longer stung. Kairen wasn’t sure if he was just too far gone to feel the pain, or if the storm had simply scoured his nerves away. It felt like his hands were present again, and Kairen took a moment to revel in the phantom sensation, basking in the warm sunlight as he did so. For a little bit of time he simply lay there.

It took a little while for Kairen to begin thinking again, but his first thoughts were of despair. He had made his peace with the world, bleeding out in the middle of the storm. He had given up hope, and had focused on what came next; being reunited with his father, mother, and sisters. But instead of the afterlife Kairen was waking up here in the desert, with no one else around. What little mental composure he had gathered was brutally assaulted by that thought.

Sure, a small part of him wasn’t quite ready to give up, was eager to struggle and fight for survival in the face of impossible odds. However the vast majority of his consciousness realized that the odds were truly impossible. Even if he had miraculously survived the sandstorm, that still left him in the middle of the Desert, with crippled legs, no food or water, and no Navigator or Pathfinder to help find the way out. His death was no less inevitable than it had been in the middle of the storm, it would simply come from a different source. Blood loss from his oddly painless wounds, infection from the same, dehydration, sunstroke, or a wandering monster. It was just a question as to what exactly would be the first danger to do him in. None of those options were clean methods of death, and the uncertainty surrounding his situation made it even less likely Kairen would be able to gracefully prepare himself for his end. He was meant to greet death as a man, not as a boy!

In frustration, Kairen rolled over onto his stomach and raised his arms to start beating the ground. It was childish, but he was allowed to be childish after what he had been through. Even Papa had lost his temper at times. The wild flailing and screaming helped as he vented his frustrations on the world and soon Kairen felt a little bit better, even as his tantrum continued.

The lack of impact of flesh on sand caused him to stop in confusion, once he noticed it. Even if he truly couldn’t feel anything he ought to at least notice the increased muscle strain from digging into the sand. He opened his eyes. Pristine sand became visible, unmarred by any impact whatsoever. Strangely, looking around further, Kairen couldn’t even make out where he had been resting before he rolled over. Bringing his arm out in front of him… didn’t change things.

Kairen was even more confused. He knew he had just moved his arm in front of his face, and yet he couldn’t see anything there. Even if his hand was missing he should have still been able to see the stump left behind. There was nothing there, even as he continued to raise his arm up until he should have been looking at his elbow.

He wiggled his fingers. He could feel them wiggling, but he couldn’t see them. He had thought the strange sensation was what old Gerko talked about with his missing leg, but now he wasn’t so sure. Closing his eyes, he moved his hand back down to his side before bringing up his other arm, positioning it directly over his eyes. He could still see the sand perfectly fine, even though his vision should have been blocked. Maybe his eyesight was wrong and he was actually hallucinating everything? Trying to smack his forehead led to his hand passing into the space he knew his head occupied. There was a strange feeling of dissonance that was enough to cause Kairen to hastily jerk his hand away as he rolled himself away and onto his feet. He looked down to try and take in the rest of his body, only there was nothing there.

Kairen turned left and right, trying to catch sight of himself, but his best efforts were to no avail. He simply couldn’t be seen. It felt like he was standing upright and shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he turned, but there was nothing to see, not even a shadow. As he spun around for the third time, his attention caught on something different from the omnipresent golden sand. Moving around was thankfully still within his capabilities and he drew closer, only to realize that the object was a dark skinned arm, presumably connected to a body that was buried underneath the surface. A shift in the prevailing wind seemed to support that theory, as it slowly blew away more and more sand. Slowly a shoulder was uncovered, followed by a sandy mat of hair. Something unpleasant was welling up inside Kairen, but he couldn’t tear his gaze away from the strange spectacle in front of him.

The body was tilted, so an ear was the first part of the face exposed, followed by an eye, closed against the elements. The bridge of the nose followed, and enough of the mouth below it was uncovered for Kairen to finally recognize the face he was looking at. He’d seen it often enough in basins of water or in the copper mirror his mother had. It was his own face he was looking at, only this time it wasn’t a reflection. The discovery of his body was one shock too many, and for the second time he welcomed the darkness that claimed him as he passed out.