《Sir Crabby (Progression Litrpg)》Interlude: The Folder
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Aethir took another sip of his Styx Slushie as Sir Crabby said,
""Is it a catfish?"
The god of intelligence slumped in relief as Crabby spoke; unseen tension spilling into the room. His unordinary response caused the room to grow quiet. Aethir normally presented a stoic persona, and the outward display of emotion was highly irregular. As he recovered, he sat back up to see Lira and Toriana staring at him. Lira, her brow raised said,
"Surely it's not that bad. He only took three tries to get the answer right. For an eight month old, new to sapience, that's fairly decent."
Toriana chimed in,
"Yeah, even with an enhanced connection to the [Akasha], he couldn't be expected to know that much."
Aethir nodded in agreement. He hesitated for a moment before saying,
"Yes, you're both right. It's just... well, when he got the first answer wrong, I did a low tier [Future-Scry], curious to see how long it would take."
"That's cheating Aethir," Toriana said.
"I know, I know, but... well there's already been several real incidents of low probability occurrences actually happening near him. And I wanted to see if anything... untoward could have occurred."
"And?" Lira said.
"Well... I'll let you see for yourself."
Aethir snapped a claw and a filing cabinet appeared. He stood up from the couch and opened a drawer, rifling through before pulling out a deep red folder, the color of blood.
"That's the horror folder," Toriana whispered.
"Yes, and there was a .000000000000001% chance that he would have added to it with what might have happened here."
Aethir rifled through the stack, finally pulling out a sheaf of papers stapled together. A twist of will and two copies appeared. He floated them over to the other gods and they began to read.
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Page 1 of 74:
1. Sphinx: What 2 things can you never eat for breakfast?
Sir Crabby: Crabby's & Bananas.
2. Sphinx: What has hands but doesn’t clap?
Sir Crabby: Me! I have claws, but they don't clap, they just kind of clatter together.
3. Sphinx: What has many ears but cannot hear?
Sir Crabby: The [System].
4. Sphinx: Four legs up, four legs down, soft in the middle, hard all around. What am I?
Sir Crabby: Me! Laying on my side.
5. Sphinx: What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
Sir Crabby: Lira, Goddess of Wisdom.
6. Sphinx: What has many keys but can’t open any doors?
Sir Crabby: Toriana, Charisma Goddess. She has keys to every heart, but free will you know?
7. Sphinx: What can you catch, but not throw?
Sir Crabby: A rock! I'm still working on the throwing part of it.
8. Sphinx: What has a head, a tail, is brown, and has no legs?
Sir Crabby: A legless murder cat lady.
9. Sphinx: When things go wrong, what can you always count on?
Sir Crabby: Friendship.
10. Sphinx: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
Sir Crabby: An old bear.
After the first page, Lira stopped. Her voice, cool as a Winters morning said nonchalantly,
"Aethir."
"Hmm?"
"There's seventy four pages here."
"Yes, yes there are."
"There's ten questions per page."
"You're as acute as ever Lira."
"At one question per day, Crabby would have ran out of food before the end."
"Yes, but after the first week, the Sphinx swore not to kill him. She just wanted him to leave the room."
The gods continued to look through the riddles and responses. As they finished reading Lira spoke,
"Well this is truly an affront against intelligence, but I don't see the horror in it."
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Aethir remained silent, giving them a minute to figure it out. Toriana spoke up first.
"Wait... none of these responses are correct."
"Nope." Aethir said.
"But they stop at question seven hundred and thirty six."
"Yep."
"So what made them stop?"
"The sphinx did," Aethir said.
"But you said after the first week the sphinx forswore violence against the crab?" Lira chimed in.
"Yep."
"So that means?" Toriana asked.
Lira's expression shifted. Her normal impassive face, slowly glazing into a look of shock.
"If this future had happened... well... it'd be the first instance in the history of the Universe."
"I still don't get it!" Toriana whined, "What are you guys talking about?"
"Look on the back of the last page."
Toriana slowly turned the page. On it were only a few lines. They read...
Race: Sphinx
Death: Self-immolation.
Reason: Riddle.
A resounding silence filled the room as Aethir collected the papers. He returned them to the blood red folder before filing it in his cabinet. The gods sat there for a moment, silence filling the void.
Lira finally spoke, "Truly Horrifying."
Aethir nodded, "That's why it's in the folder."
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