"With your arms we are strengthened

Guarding our health you stay

With your eye we are wary

Against the horrors that flay

With your Wisdom that guides

Building the [System] which binds

We find love in each other

To fight [CORRUPTION] divine."

--Unattributed, Prayer to the Statistical Divines. AC 1642

"...it."

I try to clear my eyes, reaching up with my tiny claws to chase the glare away. Furious rubbing gradually freshens my vision as I gaze upon rolling banks of fog.

Where... where am I?

An ambient light, without source, suffuses the area and neither sight nor sound provides any clues. Looking down, a matte grey stone supports my weight. The stone is attached to... nothing. There's nothing there. I'm just standing on a rock; floating in vacuous space. I can clearly see the edges of the stone; where they just cut off into empty void. I still my nervous twitching, not wanting to [Scuttle] into oblivion.

Hello? Is anyone there?

My thoughts echo in silence. The cold blankness of my surroundings return my query unanswered. The [System] can sense my thoughts right? Or maybe just intent? I lower my claws to the floor and play a gentle *tap* *tap* on the floor.

The [System] decides to start the seashell rolling.

**Error Escalation Procedures Start**

**Entity: [Sir Crabby Crabbington I] referred to [System Administrator]**

**[System Administrator] engaged. Referral Criteria Analyzed. Macro [Auto-Trial] Start**

**Assigning Entity: [Sir Crabby Crabbington I] as [Defendant]**

**Analyzing [Defendant] cognitive, behavioral, social history.**

**[Auto-Trial] assigns [Defendant] as a [Natural], [Sapient], [Physical] lifeform**

**[Auto-Trial] activates [Physical Reality] Subroutine.**

**[Auto-Trial] activates [Mortal-Divine interface]**

**[Auto-Trial] initiates**

The messages fly by, and I can hardly understand their meaning before my surroundings completely shift. The fog disappears, rushing into the distance as a large cave is revealed. It's eerily similar to the one I just left, but ten, no twenty times as large. I feel the temperature instantly rise to a comfortable level. There was no gradual increase, just a lightning adjustment from cool to comfy.

I hardly notice it however, attention arrested by the giant crab in front of me. A soothing turquoise blue shines from his perfect metal skin. His back is to me, and I see his claws tapping away at the table in front of him. Both eyes are focused on a floating screen, lines of text zooming by with ludicrous speed. He must be doing something with the table, I can hear quiet *clicks* with every strike of his mammoth claws. I try to determine what he's hitting, but can make no sense of it. All I can see is rows upon rows of seashells which gently recess into the table with every movement. A way to interact with the screen perhaps? I lift a single leg up, stepping forward. The gentle tapping instantly stops. Without turning around, he reaches far to the left, slamming his claw on a giant red seashell. Depressing it, he returns to his screen.

**[Auto-Trial] Starts**

**[Defendant] You are charged with five counts of fraudulent manipulation of the [System], Five counts of malicious [CORRUPTION] of the [System], and one count of [Attempt to Avert your Fate]. The penalty for conviction is [Annihilation]. How do you plead?**

It's definitely time to [Scuttle]. My eye stalks rotate around, furiously trying to find a way out of here. There's no holes, no doors, no entrance in or out.

**[Defendant] You must enter a plea of guilty or not-guilty. Verbal confirmation is required.**

Verbal confirmation? I didn't even have thoughts a couple of hours ago!

I gotta leave, gotta go. The [System] is crazy and going to kill me and a giant blue metal crab is tapping on seashells.

**[Defendant] You are in non-compliance. [Analysis] and [Remediation] sub-routines activated. [Scan]ning.**

**Critical Error found**

**Attempting [Debug]**

Oh no! It's happening again!

**[Defendant] is classified as [Natural], [Sapient], [Physical] lifeform.**

**[Defendant] has knowledge of [Speech], [Communication].**

**[Auto-Trial] initiated [Physical Reality].**

**[Physical Reality] requires [Speech], [Communication] interface.**

**[Defendant]'s [Age] and [Physiology] preclude [Speech]**

**Critical Error**

**Error Escalation Procedures Start**

I'm shaking in my shell. I'm only comprehending a quarter of the messages I see, but I do understand one very important thing.

I'm too young to be [Annihilated]!

Thoughts race as I try to figure out a course of action. There's nothing I can do. I can't talk, there's no way out. Faster and faster I'm thrown between running around aimlessly and maybe hiding under the table. The [System] would find me there though. And I don't know who the blue crab is, but he would hardly miss me. There has to be a way, any way, to let the stupid messages know that I'm not guilty. It's only as panic begins to cede to despair that I realize something.

The giant blue crab turned around.

***

I stare at the giant blue crab. The crab stares at me. I stare back at it. Slowly, ever so slowly, I reach my pincer to the sky. Channeling every inch of my will, I pray that he understands me. Calling out in my mind, I sync my thoughts to action. With fervor born of desperation I make my play.

In the depths of my mind I scream, "HI!" and wave my arm back and forth.

The crab looks at me. I look at the crab. He looks back at me. Then, without turning his eyes, he slowly reaches behind him, grabs the table and swings it to the front. He keeps a stalk on me and turns his other eye to the screen. I thought he was tapping the shells fast before, but now I can't even see what he's doing. There's just a blur of blue as his arms fly across the table. Something is happening! Maybe I won't be [Annihilated]!

Oh!! My arm is getting tired... No! Gotta keep waving! Giant blue Crab will help!

As fatigue builds, my waving slows down. My arm jerks to a halt as his frenzied tapping suddenly stops. The eye on the screen shifts to me as I hear the words of a grumpy old crab.

"WHAT in the nine hells!!!"

I'm keeping my pincers crossed!