《Homicidal Aliens are Invading and All I Got is This Stat Menu》News #5

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From The Chicago Tribune:

EXPLOSIONS AT THE WATER TOWER PLACE

Thousands of shoppers were calmly evacuated from the Water Tower Place downtown moments before a series of explosions knocked out the power in the building and decimated two floors of the Macy’s department store.

Authorities are insisting that it was the cause of a combination of electrical and gas lines malfunctioning, but would not comment on the presence of SWAT officers or how they had the presence of mind to evacuate the building beforehand.

Several witnesses state they saw something in the air above the shopping center, but couldn’t identify what it was due to the power being out.

The Water Tower Place will remain closed for repairs for the next week at least, a spokesman for the shopping center said.

From Al-Jazeera:

NON-NUCLEAR EXPLOSIONS SPOTTED ACROSS RUSSIAN COUNTRYSIDE

Several enormous explosions have been sighted outside multiple cities and towns in the countryside.

The explosions were seen as domes of light from miles away and even by commercial airliners. The explosions, which occurred very early Tuesday morning, were originally suspected to be nuclear detonations similar to that in Belarus. Reports from local military and other government and international sources have confirmed a complete lack of nuclear fallout, however. Photos also show an absence of the tell-tale mushroom clouds, leading many to wonder just what could cause such huge explosions.

Photos emerging from the sights of the detonations show circular blast areas over 2 kilometers in diameter and craters over 30 meters deep. Large swathes of forest around the craters have been demolished, but so far, there has been no reported damage to populated areas, property, or any casualties.

UPDATE: This report contained an error implying only nuclear bombs create mushroom clouds, while any sufficiently large explosion will cause such a cloud to form.

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From Cape Times (Translated from Afrikaans):

BIZARRE DISTURBANCE IN CAPE TOWN RESULTS IN MASSIVE PROPERTY DAMAGES, DOZENS INJURED

Tuesday night in Cape Town saw what can only be described as a surreal and violent disturbance: numerous videos and photos have surfaced online of what appears to be two people and a small pack of unidentified animals engaged in a battle with a garbage dumpster.

An unidentified man and woman in strange clothing appeared just outside the Victoria & Alfred Waterfront at around 9:30 PM, along with a pack of animals that were described by witnesses as following the man. When asked what the animals were, descriptions varied. Video is mostly blurry, but shows 4-7 animals of different sizes and species, though what those species might be remains unclear.

A series of explosions and fire commenced as the strange group began to attack a moving garbage dumpster that ran around the waterfront and injured several bystanders. Locals say the man, woman, and animals protected them and that the garbage dumpster was clearly hostile.

At this point, many speculate that this may be some kind of extreme ARG (Alternate Reality Game), or marketing ploy for a film. If that is the case, several of those injured in the attack have claimed they will be suing whoever is responsible.

From Al-Ahram (Translated from Arabic):

DAMAGE TO GREAT PYRAMID IS “CATASTROPHIC”

For thousands of years, the Giza Pyramid Complex has been a world-famous symbol of culture and the once great power and ingenuity of Egypt.

Last night, they were the site of an attack or possibly a very dangerous act of vandalism.

Early Tuesday night, an explosion was seen and heard for miles as it detonated along the side of the Pyramid of Khufu. Rays of light and multiple other explosions were witnessed by tourists and authorities as the area was evacuated. Several people were injured, but no fatalities were reported at the time of printing.

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The damage to the Giza Pyramid Complex, and to Khufu in particular has been categorized as “catastrophic and irreparable,” by local experts.

It is still unclear what caused the explosions and who or what is responsible for the act, but investigations are ongoing. For now, the world-famous tourism site has been closed until further notice.

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