For a few seconds Lucy stared at me in confusion, before sudden understanding washed over his face. “No,” he commanded. “Absolutely not.”

“I don’t answer to you,” I retorted with a grin.

Grace made a double-take. “You don’t? Then I’ll take it.”

“Shake on it?”

“You don’t need to tell me twice.”

Lucy stepped between us before I could make good on that offer. “This is going to get out, Loki,” he said.

I watched over his shoulder as the pope frowned at the mention of my name. Lucy had no doubt dropped it in an attempt at deterrence. But Grace had had the Call. He was no stranger to the methods on which Providence operated.

“He’s too high-profile,” Lucy continued. “And under Yahweh’s thumb.”

“He’s also right here,” the pope reminded him, waving a wrinkled hand to catch Lucy’s attention. “And he can make his own decisions, thank you.”

“I’m doing you a favour,” he returned, stepping aside, though he kept a careful eye on me. “My colleague here does not have your best interests at heart.”

Grace sniffed. “So what’s new? Let’s not beat around the bush. I’m old and desperate, and I know my options are limited. Besides, two can play at that game. I wonder what your chief executive would think if I told him you’d tried to recruit me from under his nose? Yes, I’m sure I’ll suffer for my troubles, but I’d be taking you down with me.”

“Not if we kill you first,” I pointed out. “Sorry to burst your bubble, but the ritual protections you’ve got going on here are more decorative than anything.”

“Now that’s an idea,” exclaimed Grace, undeterred. “Is there a way of faking my death and making it convincing enough to fool God?”

“Lucy,” I said, giving him a sideways glance, “Take pity on the man. This is just sad.”

“Are you on my side or aren’t you?” snapped the pope.

“Eh, I'm playing it by ear.”

“Excuse us a moment,” Lucy said in a warning tone. He made a shooing motion at Grace, whose attention seemed to suddenly be taken up with anything but us, despite the fact we were standing right in front of him, and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

I cleared my throat and nodded at the phone. “You know they track those things.”

Ignoring me, he tapped the screen and flashed me a glimpse of the timer counting down in large, green digits. “Alright. You’ve got five minutes to convince me this isn’t a terrible plan.”

Moving towards the ritual circle, he examined the outer ring and scuffed at one of its markings with the toe of his shoe.

“That much? It’s simple." I held up a hand and extended two fingers. "Reach and influence. Not just by numbers alone, but by quality. Yahweh might be the authority, but Grace is the spokesperson. If their beloved god actually went public one day and started showing off miracles, half his faithful wouldn’t even take him at face value. Many of them would probably assume he was you. No, they need someone they know and trust, and that’s who they’ll follow, even if they tell themselves otherwise. Grace wouldn’t just be a demon lord, he’d be a general. Bringing with him an army built from the tyrant’s own following.” I spread my hands. “Poetic justice, if you ask me.”

Plus it was also highly amusing.

Lucy walked around the edge of the circle, making a few more adjustments here and there in white chalk. “None of which accounts for the problem of Yahweh being alerted the moment his mortal servant becomes neither mortal nor his.” Erasing an entire segment, he penciled in several replacement symbols and surrounded them with what looked like an Egyptian cartouche. “And even if we deal with that, there are still the long-term issues to think of. What’s going to happen in twenty years’ time when people start wondering how the pope is still alive? No amount of cover-up is going to explain that away.”

I shifted my weight awkwardly. “About that. I don’t think you’re going to be able to wait that long.”

He looked up mid-character. “What have you done?”

Such little faith. “In fairness,” I began, “none of this is my fault. And let me be the first to point out it’s a net positive overall.”

“Loki.”

I raised my eyebrows. “What’s today? Tuesday? I don’t know what long-term timeline your project was operating on, but you might want to start thinking about a new ETA. Like... Thursday, perhaps.”

“I see,” he said. “What’s happening on Thursday? Also, I need your help with these runes,” he added, pointing across at the ring in Futhark. “Which is the one for binding?”

There wasn’t a direct translation. I pointed out a couple of potentials and he scrubbed them into oblivion. “Well,” I said, answering his earlier question, “we’re staring down the face of everyone’s favourite revolutionary staple: the committee meeting.”

“Oh,” he said, turning back to the markings on the circle. “You had me worried there.”

“It’s not a joke,” I told him, folding my arms. “You’re invited. Independent arrangement; nothing to do with your project and to all outward appearances coincidental. I was going to bring it up when we weren’t busy destabilising the leadership of the Catholic church.” Although Grace was making a decent start on that himself, by the sound of it. I wouldn’t have been surprised if the real support he needed from Lucy was a little moral encouragement.

I could see he was still waiting for more, and winced a little. Putting it off wasn’t going to help at this point. “I told you someone was stirring things up. It’s not me. Mayari and Tez want in, and – you’ll love this - so does Shitface. Then you drop your bombshell. And all of you seem to expect me to lead the damn thing.”

That seemed to get through. Lucy paused halfway through inscribing a replacement rune, the chalk vanishing into nothingness above his fingers as he straightened up. “How much does he know?”

I made a vague gesture. “Anyone’s guess. He’s breaking form.”

“Then this is more serious than I thought. I need to find him and ask a few questions.”

“No need,” said Shitface. “I’m here.”

In a dramatic entrance worthy of any over-the-top movie villain, he stepped out from behind the pope’s throne. It deserved a few claps, which went sadly unappreciated by their recipient.

Lucy didn’t move, but I could feel a change in the undercurrents of energy in the chamber, like a coiled spring ready to snap at a moment’s notice. I’d never seen a showdown between them before, and wasn't sure who might win. It would be a close thing.

Serious fights between powered gods were rare. Brutally fast, they tended to come down to whoever landed the first successful strike. There wasn’t usually a need for a second.

Still, Apollo seemed to have come alone, which hopefully meant he hadn’t changed his mind about our conversation earlier.

“I’m here to talk,” he said, confirming my suspicions. He nodded in approval around the chamber with its ritual materials. “A little dim and dank for my taste, but any place of power will do.”

Get ready, said Lucy privately, not taking his eyes off the seer. When I say go, create a distraction. I’ll handle the rest.

I tried to respond and found I couldn’t, because Apollo had activated the golden leash. Of course he had. I looked across at the pope in his gilded seat, still oblivious to what was happening in front of him. Apollo laid a hand on his shoulder even as I watched. The message was clear: He’s my hostage.

“Shouldn’t you be off preventing nuclear meltdowns or something?” I needled him. “What’s your death count up to as a result of this conversation? Fifty? Five hundred?”

The countdown on Lucy’s phone expired before he could respond, the alarm adding to the tension with a loud series of beeps that gradually detuned as they decreased in pitch. It was a sound designed to unsettle people and put them on edge. Within its range, Pope Grace shuddered a little, the light returning to his eyes as he meandered his way back to his senses. He took in the scene around him in a blink and, despite some obvious confusion, wisely decided not to draw attention to himself. Eyes on Lucifer and I, Apollo didn’t appear to have noticed the change.

“I’m exactly where I’m meant to be,” proclaimed the latter. “Or did you forget we had a meeting at noon?”

“Not here,” I protested. “And you’re early.”

“How did you find us?” Lucy asked, more to the point.

Shitface smiled, an intimidating expression with the light from the candles illuminating his face from the bottom up. “Loki blabbed.”

God, I hated prophecy.

“You mean you manipulated him into telling you in a future timeline,” Lucy clarified.

“Thank you, Lucy,” I said.

“That’s what I do,” said Apollo, not denying it. “And our other attendees should be arriving now.” He nodded pointedly at the back of the room. I turned my head just in time to witness Mayari appear in a shimmer of silver light on top of one of the surrounding pews, dressed for the office rather than her workshop. Her gaze alighted on Shitface and the pope up on the stage and an immediate look of alarm crossed her features. When she saw Lucy and I, it changed to one of confusion. Her eyes darted about the room, looking for answers and solutions.

Tez arrived next to her a moment later, significantly less surprised. He offered Apollo a resigned nod and took a seat on a pew, arms folded.

With two seers in the room influencing future outcomes, it was anyone’s guess as to how this meeting would go. When you had more than one person trying to set things up in close proximity, the possibilities tended to go a little haywire.

“Sorry, Loki,” said Tez. “We didn’t get out as scot-free as I predicted.”

Yeah, no shit, I thought, resisting the urge to fiddle with the bangle on my wrist.

“One more to come,” said Apollo, looking impatient. Having Tez in the room would have been interfering with his foresight, and the uncertainty appeared to be making him antsy.

I glanced back at Grace to see what he was making of all this and found him staring back at me. Lucy was preoccupied with sidling over towards Mayari, so I supposed I was the next best target. ‘What’s going on?’ he mouthed in my direction. ‘Who are these people?’

“Don’t expect answers from Loki,” Apollo announced to the room, taking what I’d been about to say and turning it into a derogatory comment at my expense. “This one’s on me. We need to get everyone in a room together to discuss plans.”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself,” Lucy agreed. “Although your choice of venue is questionable, and your choice of audience more so. I’m assuming you know something the rest of us don’t.”

Apollo looked unimpressed. “That’s just stating the obvious.”

On the pew, Tez opened his mouth to say something and closed it again, looking frustrated. I went over and sat down beside him as Lucy and Apollo began arguing. “Seer interference?”

He nodded. “He really is a shitface,” he muttered. “Every time I try to do anything, he’s there, stopping it from happening.”

“Yep,” I agreed. The last few hours had been almost blissful, really, without Apollo or his goons turning up to ruin my fun. It seemed unlikely he’d cut a similar deal with Tez, though, given that their powers directly got in each other’s way. I couldn’t imagine Apollo being willing to give ground to another seer. “So what’s this all about?”

“I’m surprised you don’t know,” he said. “You’re the common factor here, my friend. Or did Apollo poach that from you?”

“Oh, poaching all the way. Who’s he waiting for?”

“Durga. But she’s here for you.”

Durga? When had she become involved with all this? Oh, right – we’d been due to catch up about the coincidences. There was every chance she wasn’t even supposed to be here for Apollo’s meeting at all. In this case, I was happy to help make Apollo’s prediction self-fulfilling. She could use some excitement in her life and I could use another friendly face, even if she was in bed with the opposing team on paper.

“Tez, what does Shitface know about Durga’s involvement?”

“Urgh,” he groaned. “Don’t ask me something like that. This close in proximity, no one gets anything out of this except hard feelings and a headache.”

“Then do me a favour and drop by my desk. She’s probably looking for me there. She doesn’t know about any of this. Just give her the cliff notes and tell her to pretend she’s been in on everything from the beginning.”

“Do it yourself. I’m not your errand boy.”

So he didn’t know about Apollo’s leash, then. I wasn’t keen on making it known the blonde sycophant had taken me unaware so easily, either. If word got around about that, I wouldn’t be able to live it down for a long time. I’d have to beg him for my powers back, a notion that made me grit my teeth and tense the muscles in my shoulders until they started to ache.

As it turned out, however, Durga saved me the trouble by appearing in the centre of Lucy’s modified summoning circle, looking very surprised and somewhat discomfited.

“Loki?” she questioned, spotting me at the back. I gave her a wave and pointed past her towards the pope, who looked gratified that his circle had ensnared someone, even if it wasn’t the intended recipient. She turned to look, saw Grace in his golden throne, and gulped. Upon sighting Apollo, however, her eyes went wide.

“Boss! I’m, er, not sure how I ended up here.” Eying the inner boundary of the circle, she tested it with a prudent toe, found it to be ineffective, and hurried out of the firing line to join Mayari at the edge of the room.

“It doesn’t matter,” Apollo said in an unconvincing attempt at being gracious, his face uplit by the candlelight. “We’re all here. The revolution begins now.”