C24 Trash Loot

Eddie shot back up as Mira came over and hugged him, much to the dismay of Akira. It wasn’t of ‘those’ hugs, just a nice, friendly one. She broke apart and hugged Frank and then gave Robo some hard-earned pats.

Akira awkwardly came over to him. “Nice thinking,” she said.

“No worries,” Eddie replied while stroking Robo.

“Can I stroke him?” Akira asked.

“Sure, he loves it under the ears.”

Akira smiled at Robo as the good boy enjoyed his thorough pets.

“Hey, Eddie!” Denzel shouted, running over to him. The giant man embraced Eddie in his muscular frame and choked the life out of him. He pulled away and slapped both his shoulders. “Man, Robo saved my life. Thank you.”

“It’s cool, did anyone die?”

“Yeah, a few, but we did it and that’s what matters.”

Bear came up walking very naturally and stood a metre away from Eddie. “SLURP SLUSHIE FROM MY OPEN SPLEEN AND CRACK TWO OSTRICH EGGS INTO MY EARHOLE!” Bear shouted.

“Damn,” Denzel said. “He said he owes you his life.”

Eddie just gulped awkwardly and nodded. “Ok.”

“C’mon,” Viktor said, appearing right next to Eddie. “We need the loot don’t we?”

Eddie and the team hurried down to the corpse of the raid boss where the guild was huddling around. Everyone was in a great mood despite some of them dying. The Wanderers hadn’t done a raid boss in forever as they didn’t offer the greatest experience.

Akira was moving everyone out the way as she bent down to examine the corpse.

“Who has the highest butchering profession?”

“T2 Rank IX!”

“T3 Rank III!”

“T3 Rank V!”

“Ok, you get to it,” she instructed. “Now for the real loot. We’re doing it by contribution. Whoever gets the Relic, it goes straight to Eddie, understand?”

They all nodded eagerly.

Distribute Loot Equally?

Yes/No

A blue screen appeared in Eddie’s view.

Your loot by contribution:

+16 Goblin Meat

+3 Tough Goblin Meat

Mutated Goblin Helm

+7 Silver

+7 Mutated Goblin Hide

+Bone Sculptor

“Woah,” Eddie said. It was awesome. He quickly dumped some iron out to make room for everything inside.

“I got the relic!” a guild member shouted.

Akira headed over and the guild member handed it over without question. She groaned as she read the description.

“What?” Eddie questioned, rushing over. Akira reluctantly handed it to him.

{Tier 1 Relic}

Mutated Ogre’s Toenail

-This magnificent TIER 1 Relic offers the essence of power, beauty and pride.

It was a giant toenail with moss growing inside of it. It curled all the way around into a swirl and it was about the size of Eddie’s arm.

“Oh for fudge sake,” Eddie grumbled. He needed a tier two relic instead. “Wait, how much does this go for?”

“Uhh, I don’t know,” Akira responded.

“I’d say, 50-100 gold. They’re expensive but I don’t think anyone wants a giant toenail,” Viktor remarked.

“Yeah, I’m going to put this thing away,” Eddie said, shoving it into his inventory. “Damn, all that for nothing.”

“I wouldn’t say nothing,” Mira said. “It was fun.”

“Yeah but, where else are we going to get a tier 2 relic?”

“We will find another raid boss, man,” Denzel said. “He was only level 18 and I’ll think we’ll need a level 25 or above for the tier 2.”

“I suppose,” Eddie said, feeling defeated. “Oh, does anyone have materials for poisonous thingies?”

“You mean mats for poison?” Mira questioned

“Mats? I don’t want mats-”

“No, Eddie,” Akira interrupted. “Materials, mats for short.”

“OHHHHHH, ok, I got it. Anybody got any mats for poison?” He was learning, slowly.

Eddie was handed many goblin related body parts which made him feel uneasy but he was hoping to make some so he could guzzle mana potions like the rest of them.

“We’ll head back,” Denzel said. “I’m sure the ones who died would like their loot.”

And so, a little less cherry guild plus Eddie headed back towards the base. They were happy with the kill, being that they went in blindfolded and without proper strategies but the mood was still dampened since they didn’t come for what they wanted.

Eddie was examining the relic as Frank was giving him a piggy bank.

“Hey, Denzel, why does it say that it contains the essence of power, beauty and pride? Kinda weird since it's just a giant toenail.”

“Oh, essences are pretty hard things to obtain. Those relics contain a bunch of them. They can be used in crafting. You can infuse it with metal, leather- anything really.”

“How do I do that?” Eddie asked.

“Depending on what it is, you can just add it. You might need to weave in between threads or melt it down then combine it with the thing you want. They’re good, but kinda worthless to do for crafting. Most people like to put them in showcases in guild halls or personal houses.”

Eddie nodded while pouting. “So it's kinda cool?”

“Uhhhh- yeah. I mean, it’s a giant toenail but if you want to craft something with it then it would be worthwhile. You could combine it into a golem.”

“That’s what I was thinking,” Eddie agreed.

“You’ll need high tiered equipment. For that, I’d say a tier 4 smelter and it would need to be mixed with at least uncommon metals.”

“Interesting,” Eddie said as he threw the relic up in the air and caught it again. “Frank, could you put me down.”

“Of course, Sir.”

Eddie noticed Brody and Akira chatting further up and it dampened his mood even more.

“Hey man,” Denzel said, noticing. “Try to keep your head up.”

“Yeah, I know, I know. Are they really… You know?”

Denzel shrugged.

“Do not worry, little man,” Viktor comforted. “Women are like fish. There’s plenty more of them in the ocean to cook and eat.”

“I don’t think that’s the right line,” Eddie noted.

“Eh, women are women. They are the same yet entirely different.”

“That’s not helping, Viktor.”

“CRACK PIPE! CRACK PIPE!!!”

Denzel let out a little chuckle. “He says, try to appear as happy as possible, like you don’t need her. Then she’ll want more.”

“That sounds pretty good,” Eddie said. Out of all of them, Bear seemed to produce the most valuable opinion which contrasted the odd personality.

“Hey,” Denzel said. “When you’ve built a bar in your settlement, we’ll go for a drink sometime. Frank and Robo can join too.”

“Oh, I would most certainly love it,” Frank said. “Though, I don’t know what alcohol tastes like.”

“I can’t do anything about that,” Eddie declared. “I should ask around.”

“Woof! Woof!”

“You’re a good boy ain’t ya?” Denzel gave Robo some powerful head scratches.

As Eddie’s base got into view, they noticed it was way more packed than usual. The guild weaved their way through the crowd and into the open doorway. The rest headed through while Eddie stayed back and let himself into the stall/reception.

“Hey, Jimmy,” Eddie said.

“Hello, Master Eddie. It seems more players and NPCs have turned up here. Many are asking for rooms but we don’t have any spare.”

“I’ll get to that soon, how you holding up?”

“Holding. Up?”

“How’s it going?”

“Oh good, Master Eddie. We’ve sold more maps, nose blockers and the NPCs in the basin have started trading with the players.”

“No problems?”

“Uh, well, Rose almost killed herself. By accident of course.”

Eddie chuckled. “What was she doing?”

“Try something she calls, liquid pressure ejection.”

Eddie nodded approvingly. He was surprised she had discovered hydraulics so easily.

“Alright, Jimmy, nice job. I’ll make some more of the items you mentioned and get started on some more rooms.”

“Thank you, Master Eddie… For everything.”

“Hey, don’t worry. But, could you stop calling me Master Eddie? Just call me Eddie.”

“Yes… Eddie.”

“Alright, see you in a little bit.”

Eddie yawned as he headed down the trash cave towards the basin. They had been out the whole day. He was also worried that the basin had turned into a homeless shelter but what he found was a now bustling market.

“I got four trash panda hides for sale!”

“Two for one on health potions!”

“Buy two for the price of two!”

Eddie cocked his head at the last one but that confusion soon vanished when he looked at all the smiling faces. He was happy that he could help the NPCs and fuel the player economy in the most unlikely place. People instantly recognised him and were nodding their heads to him, same with the NPCs who smiled brightly and waved.

You have created a Tier 1 Market

+100 EXP

You are now able to access the market menu. You can see who’s buying and the legal transactions that are documented. You have already set an income tax to all stalls and NPCs of 3%.

“Huh,” Eddie mused, hands on hips. “Some things make themselves.”

He now had two tier 1 buildings. He needed to make one more in order for that part of the quest to be completed.

“Sir,” Frank said behind him.

Eddie jumped. “Jeez, Frank. I need a bell on you.”

“Very derogatory, Sir, but I’ll allow it.”

“Yeah, my bad. How you do- oh, you need a clean.”

“It appears I do, Sir,” Frank said, examining his metal suit.

“C’mon, we’ll get you patched up. Where’s Rose, she can help.”

“She’s selling some of her machines down at the back of the basin, she seems to be very popular with the players and the NPCs, Sir.”

“Cool, let’s go see what she’s selling.”

Eddie and Frank, accompanied by Robo, headed over to the back of the basin where a crowd of NPCs and players huddled around a small stall.

“I got three more left to sell!” Rose’s voice shouted over the rest.

“15 silver. No, 30 silver!”

Eddie moved around the group towards the back and knocked on the door. She quickly sold her wares and opened the door. “Hey, Eddie,” she said chirpily as she pulled the stall’s shutters down. All the players and NPCs complained but eventually headed off towards the other stalls.

“I heard you’ve been selling some stuff? Can I see?”

“Sure, hold on,” Rose said. She bent down and started rummaging through boxes and boxes. “I know I had a spare somewhere here. Ah, got it.”

She had brought a device that could attach onto someone's wrist. There were wires covering it and it looked very messy- which was Eddie’s exact style. Function over fashion was what he liked to say. She handed it to him so he could get a better look.

“Wow,” Eddie said, prodding it. It was an ejection system with a pull back reel that was all automated in the same series. In short terms, it was a light grapple mechanic. It was very fluid and she had bypassed a lot of hard engineering work by pure genius.

He attached it to his wrist and aimed at a spanner hooked on the wall. He pressed a red button next to his veins and a two pronged grapple was ejected. It clamped onto the spanner and pulled it directly into Eddie’s hand. “WHAT? Rose, this is so cool. Wait, I have an idea for a golem now.”

“Really?” Rose excitedly squealed.

“Oh, fudge, I can’t repair that core. But Rose, once I get the core repaired or find a new one, can you help me work on it?”

She nodded while clasping her hands.

“Well, do you want to come help clean Frank?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah, let me bring my tools.”

The four then headed back to Eddie’s workshop where they started cleaning Frank and Robo. A few minutes in, Mira’s team along with Akira entered.

“Hey guys,” Eddie said, casually, putting on a smouldering look.

“Hi!” Rose said energetically.

“Who’s she?” was Akira’s first question.

“She’s my apprentice.”

Akira examined her to find that she was a NPC. She took a long internal sigh of relief. “Right, Eddie. About the tier 2 relic.”

“You found a new raid boss?”

She shook her head. “Well, judging by the levels of these areas and the chance of a raid boss being within them, the only place we think one would be is beyond Hell’s Hole- ew, that sounds kinda gross.”

“What does that mean? Is there anything actually past Hell’s Hole?”

“Look,” Akira said, summoning a video from her menu. “Some unlucky players went past Hell’s Hole into a weird forest-”

“A forest?”

“Just watch.”

Eddie did. It was a video of two players recording themselves past Hell’s Hole.

“Yo guys, what is up, it’s a ya boi SkinnyPenis and I’m with Fr-Fr-Fr-FreshBaby. We’re down in Arindought’s Trash Dump exploring the unknown dungeon that was just released. We just went past Hell’s Hole and into unknown territory.”

“These guys are losers,” Eddie commented as he watched on.

“We just stumbled upon this weird moss that’s growing everywhere. There’s even trees which are so freaky in a trash dump.”

Eddie turned his focus up as he noticed huge trees that soared into the smog. It was strange to see flora in such a toxic place, and no, it wasn’t about his and Akira’s relationship.

“Yo, dude, you go first.”

“Ey, bro, I ain’t doin’ that shit, you go first.”

“Fine, pussy.”

The man crept into the forest very slowly as he panned the camera around. He pressed a finger into the giant tree he was standing under. “It’s kinda sticky,” he commented. His finger was covered in moss. He went to move further into the forest, but he suddenly fell down to the ground in excruciating pain. “Ah, my finger!” the guy yelled.

“Stop being such a baby,” the other insulted.

It looked like the guy was a hypochondriac but the camera suddenly panned to the guy’s whole hand; it was covered in moss and it was growing up his arm. He tried to shake it off but nothing happened, it was glued to his hand.

“Bro, my health at half-”

The trees shook all around them and a galloping thud meant something big was approaching. The camera quickly panned to the darkness inside the forest and it showed a huge being made of moss and wood. It was hard to tell but it was definitely a quadrupedal and had a mane made of leaves.

“What the fudge,” Eddie said, slightly scared.

It bounded straight towards them and the camera feed went dead.

Eddie’s eyebrows were discombobulated. He stared at Akira in horror. “You wanna go there?”

“Maybe,” Akira said with a shrug. “We think that monster is at least level 25 so the raid boss could be up to 30.”

“So it’ll have a tier 2 relic?” Eddie asked.

Akira nodded. “Yep.”

“But, w-w-we can’t go in there. If that moss doesn’t kill us that weird monster will.”

Akira shrugged. “Do you have any better ideas?”

“... No.”

“Then let us do some scouting,” Akira said. “I’ve already sent a few people out and we should see if we can find a raid boss, and probably an antidote to the moss thing.”

Eddie shivered, he didn’t fancy dying a slow death by moss of all things. “If there’s no other choice, we might as well.”

“I think it is a worthwhile chance,” Viktor stated. “It will take a day or two to properly prepare.”

“Yeah,” Denzel said, “I don’t want to go in that death trap unless we have good info and a way to stop that moss; I’m with you there Eddie.”

“So it’ll take a few days to get the scouting done? Hold on, let me bring up the checklist.”

You have received a joint quest: Migration Crisis

-A wave of immigrants will be at your door very shortly and some are already on their way. Create a settlement to house and busy them.

13/20 NPCs Willing Settlers.

2/3 T1 Buildings

0/1 T2 Relic

107/300 Gold Coins

1/1 Basic Food And Water Supply

1/1 Minimum Land of 20m^2

“So I need another T2 building,” Eddie said, rubbing his chin.

“A bar!” Denzel exclaimed.

“I want a spa,” Mira declared.

“An underground sex trafficing centre,” Viktor offered.

Everyone turned to look at Viktor.

“What? I was saying what everyone else was thinking,” Viktor protested. No one was thinking that.

“A RUPTURE IN THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM WILL CAUSE DEVASTATING EFFECTS TO THE FUTURE MARTY!”

“Bear says he wants a slaughterhouse,” Mira explained.

“Jesus christ guys, what’s wrong with you guys?.”

“A restaurant?” Akira offered.

Eddie wanted to say yes to please her but why in the world would people want to eat in a Trash Dump? It was a stupid idea.

“I think I like Denzel’s offer,” Eddie said. “No offence to you two.”

“What about me and Bear?” Viktor grumbled.

“A slaughterhouse and an underground sex trafficking ring. Yeah- no thanks.”

“Whatever,” Viktor dismissed, puffing hard at his cigarette.

“What do I need to make a bar?” Eddie asked. “System, can you help me out?”

Tier 1 Bar requirements:

20m^2 of roofed area.

3 NPCs or players to run and occupy it.

At least 3 alcoholics.

At least 4 drunks.

At least- this is getting dry.

4 kegs of alcohol.

“This doesn’t seem so bad. I do kinda want to work on some alchemy stuff.”

“We can help you, farming ain’t much of an issue now if we get that quest experience,” Denzel offered.

“Yeah, sure, you guys can help.”

“You need to level up a bit as well, Eddie,” Akira said. “Your spells did decently but against level 25s you won’t stand a chance.”

“I will, don’t worry. I have a plan for that. Do you have any more of those incense things?”

“Uh, yeah, I have four on me,” Akira replied.

“Can I have two?” Eddie asked.

“They’re a gold a pop,” Akira complained. Mira gave her a look and she conceded. “Fine, I want two gold back once this quest is finished.”

“Deal,” Eddie said.

Akira reluctantly handed him two twigs. “Alright, good luck in whatever you guys are doing. I have a guild to run.” She headed after and closed the door with some force.

Denzel gave a subtle thumbs up to Eddie who discreetly winked back. He was trying to play disinterested in her, like she was nothing but his ex-girlfriend.

“So you two sorted things out?” Mira asked.

Eddie just shrugged cooly. “We’re cool.”

“See you in a bit then, Eddie, I need to go help Akira. Are you helping him then?”

“Yeah we are,” Denzel said. “It’s boys day,” he joked.

Mira rolled her eyes. “Enjoy jacking each other off then. See you later.”

“Eddie,” Rose said, “Frank and Robo are all done. Did you need help with the bar?”

“We’ll be fine, Rose, thank you for your help. Head on back to your stall.”

“Alright, bye.”

Once Rose had left, Eddie took a long breath in. “Do you guys have any experience with metal working?”

“I have sewn bodies together before,” Viktor said. “Same thing.”

“RUMPLESTILTSKIN IS A REAL MORON!”

“We’re fast learners,” Denzel said honestly.

“Alright,” Eddie said, swiveling around to his workbench and pulling out a large piece of paper. “It should be quite easier to draw it up.” He spent only a few moments drawing it up. Since it wasn’t going to be anything special, he could play it by ear. “And, done.”

“Like that?” Viktor questioned.

“Yeah, it’s going to be cut out of the basin, two pillars holding up a slanted roof- it doesn’t rain down here does it. Ok, flat roof. It’s even easier. Here you guys go.”

“You’re a genius, Eddie,” Denzel said. “I mean, I’m no architect but this looks more professional.”

Eddie had done some courses on architecture before so he had a fairly good understanding of building things. “Do you guys want to get work since I need to make some alcohol?”

“Yeah, sure. We can definitely try.”

Eddie actually wanted to try his hand at some alchemy. He also had a plan to get some quick experience by the monster incense he was given by Akira.

“Well, I’ll catch up to you guys later?”

“Yeah, man, see you in a bit.”

They left shortly after with some of Eddie’s tools in hand. “Right,” Eddie said, cracking his knuckles. “Time to make poison.”