C10 Trash Troubles

Eddie sprung awake among clouds. He breathed a sigh of relief before getting up. Those previous ten minutes had taken off multiple years off his life. But, it was the most fun he ever had. Seeing the Egyptian pyramids wasn’t nearly as cool as running away from dozens of giant golems with a hard-on for killing him.

He laid down again in the comfy clouds and placed his hands behind his head. He patiently waited until he was back in the game again.

Cubes of white metal formed in the centre of the trash cave, and the owner flashed back into virtual existence.

“Frank! Gue- oh, right.”

Before Eddie could bring out Frank, his notification inbox just burst open.

Nice Job! You have committed Grand Larceny!

You have stolen a valuable item from the Government!

+30 EXP

You may place it in your inventory, but if an authoritative member finds it inside you will be put on trial.

No one has seen you commit the crime. But, if someone sees it in your possession, your name will be displayed red with a tag of WANTED. This has a timer of 30 days. In order to keep the item or sell it, it is best to keep it within your possession or hide it.

You have caused an event: Trash Overload

-By removing the golem core of a machine that constantly pushes trash inside Hell’s Hole, you have caused a blockage and therefore a huge overload of trash. Now that the trash can now longer be burnt, powerful monsters will rise. Nice one asshole.

KINGDOM WIDE ANNOUNCEMENT

An event has started in Arindought’s Trash Dump

Trash Overload

-There’s a problem in the trash dump; trash can no longer be burned away. Powerful monsters have now started to spawn.

Spawn rates of all monsters have quadrupled.

Loot rarity and quantity has been doubled.

Unique monsters have increased spawn rates.

End: Undetermined.

That wasn’t even half of them. He began to panic. “Grand Larceny?” he questioned nervously. “I need Frank, he’ll know what to do-”

Game Moderator {S0CKS} Inbound

-Please refrain from attacking.

“What?!” Eddie questioned. “A game moderator? What’s that? L-Like an angel?”

“What ship show is this?” a man’s voice questioned behind him.

Eddie spun around to see a tanned man in his late twenties. He was wearing a red robe and his feet were hovering off the ground slightly. He had a bright purple mohawk and two dangling earrings. He looked at Eddie curiously.

“You’re the guy who triggered the event?” the man asked, a hint of double meaning in his voice. He sounded like a typical LA dude.

“Yeah,” Eddie replied, looking down.

“Tch, you’ve pissed off everyone in the office dude, nice job.”

“What?”

The man known only as socks dropped onto the trash compacted floor and started looking around. “You made all this?” Socks asked curiously, ignoring Eddie.

Eddie swallowed the lump in his throat. “Urm, yeah, yeah I did. Why are you here?”

The man seemed more interested in what Eddie had made rather than the stressed trashmancer’s questions.

Socks summoned a blue screen in front of him, and Eddie got a look at the label above his head.

GM- S0CKS Human, Level 19

“You made a freakin’ golem?!” Socks exclaimed. “And you made him into a British butler!!! Dude, that’s awesome.”

“WHY ARE YOU HERE!” Eddie shouted at the top of his frustrated lungs.

“Oh sorry, dude,” Socks said, closing his tab. “Urm, basically, this area was unfinished before the game was released. That’s why there are no stairs.”

“Why would you release an unfinished game? And what’s that got to do with me?” Eddie questioned angrily, arms folded.

“We have deadlines. Anyway-” he took a breath. “We were going to sort this area out on the second patch and then hopefully people will trigger the event. Because, whatever you did to trigger it, people are gonna flood down here and fudge our whole plan up and make us rush the patch. What did you do by the way?”

“Urm- am I in trouble?” Eddie questioned.

Socks shook his head. “No dude, you were playing the game. Plus, everyone is pissed and that made my day. They all hate you so much. But they can’t do anything so don’t worry.”

“I... Urm, I kinda stole something.”

“Let's see,” Socks suggested calmly.

Eddie gritted his teeth and breathed in. “I can’t do that, it would make me get the {Wanted} tag.”

“Jesus dude, you’re talking to a GM; I can wipe it.”

“Really?” Eddie questioned.

Socks cocked his head as information flooded his eyesight. “Oh, that makes sense,” he said. “This your first time playing one of our games?”

“Yeah,” Eddie responded. “It’s pretty fun.”

“Ha, I’m glad. So the thing you stole?”

Eddie reluctantly removed the common golem core from his inventory. The tag flashed above his head.

More text flooded Socks’s eyesight. “You stole it from Hell's Hole?! How? That area is for level 35 minimum. No one’s even reached 25 yet.”

“I just stole it,” Eddie replied smugly.

“You’re a different breed dude.” Socks clicked his teeth. “Lemme remove that tag from you first.”

Eddie breathed a sigh of relief when it disappeared.

“So,” Socks carried on, “You stole this from one of those machines and caused a blockage of trash?”

Eddie nodded.

“Hahahaha, aww dude, that’s funny.”

“Is it?”

“Well no, I have more work, but it’s just cool you managed to trigger an event so early into the game already. People will be flooding down here soon.”

“What?” Eddie questioned. “Why would anyone want to come down here?”

“Because of the event. It’s the first country wide event of the entire game. We were hoping they’d start a year in but here we are.”

“How will they get out? How will I get out?”

Socks shrugged carelessly. “I told you it was unfinished. We’ll just have to rush the patch. I don’t think people would be so hasty to leave either so you’ll be fine.”

Eddie shrugged in defeat. “Can’t you just, do some magic and teleport me to the top?”

“Ah, sorry dude. We have very strict rules to not influence the game at all; even moving someone. Do you have a house up there? You can teleport up to it if it's tier three,” Socks explained. The game moderator took a second look at the shirtless, dirty, level 3 Eddie. “Nevermind. Listen dude, thanks for telling me. Can I have a look at the golem now?”

“Sure, sure,” Eddie said, his tone was wrapped in defeat- he just wanted to get out.

Eddie brought out Frank’s body and placed the golem core inside.

Socks clapped excitedly as the red eyes glowed softly to life.

“Sir, who is this man?” Frank’s polite and soft-spoken voice questioned.

“Oh my god,” Socks stated, mouth wide open. “Damn dude, it looks so fudging cool.”

“Hey Frank, this is Socks.”

“Good morning or afternoon… Socks,” Frank introduced, extending his hand.

“Right on,” Socks mused, nodding his head and shaking it. “I better go,” he said, hurriedly. “Urm. Two things. Don’t tell anyone about the core you stole or they can get money from the government for snitching.”

Eddie nodded. “Thanks.”

“And two, set your house to private or people can come in and steal stuff. Alright, byeeeee…” Socks disappeared from reality like he was plucked by a god. He left no trace.

“Sir, are you ok?” Frank asked.

Eddie slumped into a chair. “No Frank, I really fudged up.”

“Did you go for the golem core, Sir?” Frank asked.

Eddie nodded as he stared into a random corner.

“And what happened?”

Eddie summoned the notification and swiveled it over to Frank.

“Ohh,” Frank murmured. “Shall I prepare for guests, Sir?”

“What? No. Everyone is gonna come down here and get stuck because of what I did.”

“What do you mean, Sir? Do they know you did it?”

“Well, no,” Eddie responded, running his hand through his hair.

“Then how would they know? You could say you got stuck down here and have been trying to get out since,” Frank suggested. “A half lie is better than a full one, Sir.”

“Ah, Frank, you're always right. And I’m sorry I took your core out,” Eddie apologized.

“No problem, Sir. I presume you wanted to protect me.”

Eddie nodded. “Yeah, I mean it worked, I did die but it was worth it.”

“Yes, Sir. And I appreciate you being honest with me.”

“C’mere Frank,” Eddie said, opening his arms out.

“Sir, I don-”

Eddie walked forwards and squeezed the metal golem, it felt good that Frank was back- unharmed.

“What was I doing?” Eddie asked himself after he broke from the hug. “Oh, notifications.”

“So Socks, what did he say?” the female Head Game Designer asked.

Socks yawned as he sat down in a comfy leather chair in the woman’s office. “He took out a golem core from a machine that was funnelling trash into Hell’s Pit. Since it blocked it up the event triggered.”

“Ah, shit, Socks, this is bad. The big guys won’t be happy,” she said.

Socks threw a sweet in his mouth. “Who cares, Sam, they rushed us before the release; it’s their fault. The guy was just playing the game. He was really, really weird by the way.”

“Who is he?” Sam asked.

“His name’s Eddie and he’s level 3, built a golem and has the… Trashmancer class which is kinda funny.”

“He’s level 3?” Sam questioned in astonishment, “And he stole from a level 35 area?”

Sock shrugged. “He seems like a smart guy. You know, the ones that are a bit crazy. They lack the skills to tie their shoes correctly but can program a quantum computer.”

“Like you?” Sam suggested.

“Exactly like me,” Socks agreed.

Sam pulled her chair up to her desk. “Keep tabs on everything going down there. That area still needs some polishing. And how did he get down there?”

“I think he was robbed by that guild- Cutthroat Criminals, they pretended to be top guild recruiters to lure in people; I checked his logs.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“Oh, they threw him down some openings into the trash dump so he couldn’t report it. Now that’s pretty smart.”

“So what’s this Trashancer class?” Sam asked as she flicked through the given logs.

“I don’t actually know, I think it was one of the joke classes that someone actually put in the game.”

“As long as it’s not too OP, I don’t mind,” Sam remarked.

“You got it boss, you want me to spend all my time down there?”

“Yeah, and no levelling when you’re there. Turn on invis and study logs of everyone that enters. I want to know volume, level, difficulty- everything. There’s still a chance we could turn it into a massive PR stunt so don’t fuck this up, got it?”

Socks huffed. “Yeah, sure. Do you want me to keep tabs on the weird guy?”

“Yeah, don’t intrude on his privacy though. I still can’t believe he’s made his own house and golem in a trash dump of all places, and he’s only level 3.”

“Oh, I have a feeling we’ll be hearing a lot about him soon.”

Eddie brought up the rest of his notifications. Hopefully, they would cheer him up a bit.

You have slain Gigantic Trash Golem, Level 31 ☠

+213 EXP (-50% Cowardice Kill)

36x Trash Metal

3x Iron Ingots

5x Sensor Crystals (BROKEN)

1x Golem Core (BROKEN)

+1 Silver 36 Copper

Way To Go Bozo! You have completed your quest!

Quest: Dungeon Exploring

Map out 25% of the dungeon: 27/25%

Kill mobs inside the dungeon: 10/10

Rewards:

+120 EXP

An item of your choosing

A spell of your choosing

+50 Copper

Bragging Rights.

You have discovered an Area and named it Goblin’s Gulch (eww)!

+15 EXP

You have discovered an Area and named it Trash Top Mountains!

+25 EXP

You have discovered an Area and named it Trash Lake of Lava!

+20 EXP

You have discovered Hell’s Hole!

+5 EXP

You have levelled up T1 Cartography I→II!

“I GOT ANOTHER CORE!!!” Eddie exclaimed. He scrolled through his inventory like a mad man and stuffed his grubby hand into space; pulling out a glowing crystal that was larger than the common one he stole.

“IT’S UNCOMMON! Oh, fiddlesticks, it’s broken,” Eddie said in defeat, bringing it out.

{Golem Core}

Grade: Uncommon

Durability: 0/78 (BROKEN)

Mana: 271/271 (4.9. M/s)

Skills (Max 3): 1

Description: Used to power golems. Has the ability to withhold mana/skills.

He slumped down into a chair and examined the deep crack in the center. “Oh, it has skills,” he commented.

T2 ACTIVE SKILL Grabby Trash Grab Grab Rank IV

Eject a portion of your body forwards. If it happens to be directed at trash then the damage is doubled. Note, damage is proportional to what is extended.

Base Damage: 13

Cooldown: N/A (Proportionate to extension and reel time.)

Ejection Speed(uwu) Bonus: x1.4

“Woah,” Eddie said, amazed. It was a Tier 2 skill made for only a golem. The name was a bit but nevertheless, it was a high tier skill.

Eddie then brought out the core that he had stolen to compare the two.

{Golem Core}

Grade: Common

Durability: 24/38

Mana: 178/178 (3.9 M/s)

Skills (Max 2): 1

Description: Used to power golems. Has the ability to withhold mana/skills.

T3 PASSIVE SKILL Move Trash IX

Move metal at 390% speed.

Eddie’s mind was just blown, it was a Tier 3 skill that was only about moving trash- it was like a wet dream in the form of numbers and words. He couldn’t even fathom how fast that would be. Eddie’s mind started racing as he thought about all the possible golems he could make to profit off this skill.

“Your food, Sir,” Frank said, giving him a plate of goblin skewers.

“Oh, thanks, Frank.”

Eddie tucked into them as he double checked the notifications. From only killing one of the massive golems he was given 213 EXP. That meant if he wasn’t a coward, then he could receive 416 EXP just from one kill. That seemed astronomical to him.

“Wait,” Eddie said out loud in thought, “I didn’t complete the kill quest.”

Dude, you killed a level 31 Golem.

“Bu-”

Shhh, just take it.

“Ok then,” Eddie conceded as he took a bite of the skewer. “Ohhh, yeah. Frank, this is great.”

“You’re welcome, Sir,” Frank responded.

Eddie had to stop his body convulsing in on itself, he needed to claim the rewards from the quest.

“Show me the money.”

Item Rewards:

{Trash Bag}

Grade: Uncommon

Size: (+)4.5 m^3

Durability: 3/3 (100%)

Description: A small trash bag that when worn will allow a player’s inventory to be increased in size. Additionally, the trash bag can act as separate storage. This item is similar to the one offered to you before.

{Woggle Staff Of Unorthodoxy}

Grade: Uncommon

Damage: x1.21 of Spell

Durability: 14/14

Effects: Slap I (When hitting an enemy you cause a slapping sound effect)

Requirements: Unorthodox Magic Wielder

Description: A dirty tube your grandma uses to ‘swim’ with in the community pool. It may be used at both ends and you will 100% be looked at like you’re a psychopath.

{Trashmancer’s Trashed Trash Hat}

Grade: Uncommon

Defense Rating: 13

Durability: 21/21

+3 Wisdom

+2 Intelligence

Effects: ??? (May rattle uncontrollably sometimes), ???? (Has a 0.001% chance to kill all enemies within a 200m radius and a 1.69^(-420)% chance to end the entire world as we know it)

Description: A trashy wizards hat made out of aluminum foil. Are you afraid of aliens controlling your brain? Fear not, this magical wizard's hate will not make you look like a strange conspiracy freak, only a handsome, daring and cautious gentleman or gentlewoman.

“Oh yeah!” Eddie exclaimed, they were all Uncommon. He really was moving up in the world game.

Though, like the rewards offered before, they had gotten increasingly weird. “One point six nine to the power of- damn, I haven’t done math in a while. Frank, are you any good at math?”

“Yes, Sir. I studied quantum mathematics and butlering abroad at Harvard. I also have a PHD in Guerrilla Warfare and Military Strategy.”

“Really?” Eddie questioned.

“Would I lie to you, Sir?”

“Well, no. Quite impressive,” he complimented.

“Thank you, Sir, now with this math question?”

“Oh yeah, have a look at this,” Eddie said, spinning the notification around.

“What a very strange item,” Frank mused. “Sir, the mathematical probability is far too negligible to be useful. However, the flat stat increases are very useful. They are sought after more and therefore sell for a higher price.”

Eddie rubbed his chin in though. “What do you think about the others? The other two seem really handy.”

“Increased inventory size is welcomed whenever, the weapon however seems to fit in accordance with necessity.”

“Huh?” Eddie questioned, lips and eyebrows screwed up in confusion.

“You don’t have a weapon, Sir,” Frank explained simply.

“Oh, yeah,” Eddie agreed.

He did take a second glance at the trash bag, it looked so damn cute; he just wanted to rub his cheek into it and hold it. The weird metal wizard hat was something he didn’t really want regardless of its stat boosts. So, he was now left with the foam tube his grandma uses to swim in the community pool with.

Eddie sighed. Why couldn’t he just get a normal staff or magical grieves? It was like the game was hell-bent on making him look as mentally insane as possible. He sighed again. “Ugh, fine. System, I chose the tube thingy.”

Small cubes of blue appeared in front of him and formed the weird foam tube thingy. It fell into Eddie’s hands. It was surprisingly light- well, it was made of foam. He held it up at one end and looked through the center hole, finding it was completely hollow. It looked brand new and wasn’t as bendy as he thought it was going to be. Then again, he knew it would lose its stiffness over time.

“Good choice, Sir,” Frank said.

“Thank’s Frank.”

Eddie chuckled lightly as he wiggled the woggle staff around. “This is kinda funny,” he thought out loud. He hit it against his leg and it made a slap sound effect. Eddie deeply chuckled. “I think this was the best item,” he reassured himself. He also wanted to test it out.

“Hey. Frank, I’ll be back in a minute.”

“Ok, Sir,” Frank replied as he continued to clean up the place.