Hearing my voice tone, Donghwa seemed unable to move. He paused for a moment and slowly let go of his arms on my legs. Now, he looked like a child who had just been punished by his mother and he was afraid to repeat the same mistakes.

He was very obedient and docile. Usually, he would be very stubborn and not give in to his wishes. He almost resembled a wild animal from the wild that couldn't be regulated by any rules.

However, now, he was like a person who had been snatched away a dignity in himself that left no pride, guts, or whatever he thought was a basis that could make him be a confident and proud person.

Meanwhile, I stuck to my principles and didn't turn my head to see how Donghwa's expression was beneath me even though my head was so desperate to do it. In the end, I succeeded after fighting against myself. And as soon as I felt Donghwa no longer hugging my legs, I started walking towards the bed.

Sitting there, I pondered for a while before awakening as I heard Donghwa's footsteps which were heading towards me lightly.

I turned to him. My gaze fixed on him in disbelief until he sat beside me. I had not let go of my gaze yet, and wondered, 'What does he want from this again? Why does he want to repeat this rotten relationship one more time? Doesn't he think how I feel like I'm a person who needs mental recovery for the trauma I went through with him?'

Thinking of that, I felt amazed. Some things amazed me, but also felt like his nonsense truly seemed to make me want to burst out of laugh.

However, there was nothing I could do but be quiet and show how much I lost the many sweet words I used to praise him.

After all, I had lost half of my soul from continuing to love him. Now, there was only a quarter of the soul I wanted to protect to the end.

After a few moments of silence, Donghwa raised his eyebrows, showing his unfortunate face that had plunged me into a twisting of pain. He looked at me expectantly for an answer in his deep eyes as he said persistently, "Chunghee, therefore, please give me one more chance, I beg you. Let me prove my sincerity. If you don't give it that chance to me, how can you know my true feeling?"

I frowned faintly, then laughed lightly. "And how do I know, when I give you that one chance later, you will hurt my feelings, do I have to regret it again?"

He was stunned for a moment before replying, "Chunghee, why don't you want to believe me? I mean what I say."

Why?

In a situation like this, he still had time to ask something that had a pretty clear answer!

I felt that Donghwa had talked too much. It really sickened me. However, as I didn't want to get carried away, I tried to stay calm. I replied, "Why? Is your brain unable to digest my words? You used to be a brilliant person and always had lots of reasons, but why now you keep making me have to say the same things over and over again?"

Hearing about this, he gritted his teeth hard before revealing, "It's because I can't accept your decision. I don't want us to be apart. I still want you to give me one more chance."

Taking a deep breath, I said, "A chance? Again? How long do I have to keep giving you a chance?" Paused for a moment, I added, "Donghwa, look, I've given you many chances all this time and it's enough to make me suffer. Do you hear me? It's enough to make me suffer — suffer!" I purposely pressed a few words at the end to emphasize.

I chuckled. There's nothing funny about this talk. It's just that, remembering how stupid I was at that time was both ridiculous and painful in my heart.

Keeping that in mind, my mind had twisted things all these years. There was happiness and pain that tormented me inside. All of that tied into the swish of our long relationship.

"Donghwa, all this time, I have always given you a chance. When I found out that you fucked a lot of people out there, I forgave you. When you nearly killed me three years ago, I also still forgave you. And, when you have an affair, I could still forgive you and stay any longer for you." I smiled bitterly. Remembering how I always forgave him, I thought that I was indeed crazy about him.

But what? Now all of that was vanity.

However, even so, I never thought that I was crazy about the wrong person even though he gave me the pain of my ending story.

"I was always waiting for you at that time. But, the results were only futile. You never gave me news and always kept me waiting. It was not a short time, you know. If you think months are a short time, then you really heartless," I continued. I paused for a while before saying again in a high tone that sounded furious, "I lasted for months! Plus, I stuck with Donghwa even though he was no longer the same person I used to know."

I took a silent breath to calm down before continuing, "Heh, and the silly thing is, you kept ignoring me all that time; kept lying to me even though I already knew that you were having fun with other people out there. Do you think I didn't know that? I just didn't want to bring it up when we got to argue. I told you before, right? I know everything. I just pretended all this time to keep our relationship. There's a saying, no matter how you hide the carcass, you can't hide the smell. And, have you ever thought about our relationship? Or, am I the only one here?"

"Donghwa, I always gave you a chance at that time. And when I gave you one more chance, you were repeating the same thing over and over again. Didn't I ever say to you, that 'don't make me regret'? Do you understand what that means? I said that it's because I'm getting tired of facing you."

After saying that, for some reason, my heavy chest became a little lighter. Even though there were still many feelings that had not been revealed, it was quite a relief. Throwing out a quarter of that painful thing allowed my chest to inhale more oxygen than before.

However, saying that wasn't enough to make me happy, or maybe something like that would never make me happy. But, that was enough to make me satisfied with my courage to be blunt.

For a long time, I was finally able to express my slight disappointment. At least, having Donghwa here now gave me the right opportunity to express what I should express so that he could hear some of my screams that I had held in my throat.

This wasn't revenging. It never crossed my mind either. I would never do something childish like that. It's just that, I wanted him to learn from that mistake and become a better person in the future. I wished he would no longer repeat the same mistakes to someone who would be with him after my departure.

However, there's one thing I regretted about him, why did he just open up and say everything right now? If only at that time, he had been more open to me, no matter how painful I felt, his honesty would make me think twice to break up with him.

In this silence, I looked at his face that suddenly turned very sad. In my mind, I didn't hate him and would never hate him. It would be a lie if I said that I no longer had feelings for him.

However, it's just that, I was an ordinary human who had a heart endurance limit. I. had swallowed so much pain that I could barely feel my own heart.

Stunned for a moment, Donghwa opened his mouth and spoke, "Chunghee, that's why I admit my mistake. It was my biggest mistake. I know, I have disappointed you. Therefore, give me one more chance and I will prove that all those words are not lies." With a pause, he put my hand on his head, then continued, "I promise in God's name — I swear. If you give me one more chance, I'll prove my true feelings."

I pulled my hand, then looked away from him. "I can't, that's enough for me. I'm sorry," I said, holding the pain in my tightened chest.

Yes, right now, I wouldn't give him that chance. I couldn't, it's not that I didn't have that desire. It's just that I didn't have much time for him. Being with him would only make me regret it if he found out about my true situation.

Gently, he replied, "Chunghee, please think about this carefully. Don't give me a decision like that."

A tear glistened in the corner of his eyes, and I could tell that there was a feeling he was holding on from within him right now. It looked so painful.