《I Am Not Chaotic Evil》5. Greenies
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In the end, Esun decided to just give the scythe to Jeremy. He seemed to like it, and it gave him peace knowing that the now-accursed thing would be gone from his farm.
The wizard gladly accepted — not knowing the underlying intent. The farmer showed him how to dismantle the grain cradle, allowing him to carry the scythe easier.
Since the farmer would be heading out to his home pretty soon, Jeremy left the grain cradle and asked the farmer to deliver it with the wheat. He gladly took the scythe and used it as a walking stick.
It was fairly new and well-built — Jeremy was surprised the farmer would gift him such a magnificent tool. He happily walked back to his home, unaware of the stares he received from frightened folk sharing the road.
Meeting the Scourge by happenstance was frightening enough. Seeing him cloaked and holding a scythe put the fear of death —a more pronounced one compared to the usual subdued feeling of death when in his presence — in almost everyone he encountered.
After half an hour of walking, the paved roads gave way to dirt. The road didn’t continue to where he was heading — instead, it went south, to a port city. Continuing east would take the road to the barren demesne he called home, and eventually the Great Forest of Dun.
The land was granted to him by the lord of the city. He had to pay 100 gold a year as rent, but at least the contract stated the lease would be his in perpetuity — until he failed his payments or died.
Sure, the land was barren. It had no usable structures or even signs of habitation — but it was his. The lord wanted to grant him a place in the city, but it was deemed too much of a risk by the council of nobles.
A faint scent of dry rotten wood stopped his musings. It hadn’t rained in weeks, meaning there could be a good chance there were greenies in the vicinity.
Jeremy did not like greenies — whether they were goblins, orcs, or trolls. Their kind didn’t seem natural, more plant than animal. They seemingly grew from the earth, given enough time — and no kingdom can claim that it has eradicated the creatures from their territory.
It was best to stamp them out as soon as you find them — and with his scythe, Jeremy was suitably dressed for the occasion.
He casts a spell.
Spatial Lock * Simple Spell *Conjuration
Effects: Allows the caster to lock an object in place within the caster’s reach. The object will remain in position relative to the caster — following his movements unless restricted. Objects can weigh no more than 30 lbs.
Duration: 2 hours
He places the scythe above him, with the blade dropping to his left side. It would hardly serve as protection — but it could dissuade an attack or two.
Infernal mana strengthens his muscles, ligaments, and bones — allowing him to run at a faster pace with minimal fatigue or risk of injury. The only thing holding him back was air. Powering muscles with mana didn’t negate the need for air, and empowering his lungs was too risky a move.
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A pulse of magic emanated from his ward. Detecting life was not one of its functions, but it did enable him to detect the dead. There were no fresh kills — which was good. Reporting deaths near his home would bring suspicion, not reporting them would bring more.
Tracking the scents led him to one of the barren land’s cave complexes. He would be fighting in their territory, and caves favored close-quarters combat.
He lodged the scythe in the air with a thought. Taking it with him would be cumbersome — its length making it too unwieldy in a cave. He wasn’t expecting a spelunking trip, so he lacked torches for light.
If they were any other creature, he would just bombard the cave with fire or smoke the creatures out. But they were greenies. As far as he knew, the creatures didn’t die from asphyxiation. There were even accounts of hordes crossing continents by marching on the bottom of the sea.
He needed to enter the cave.
Eyes of the Chiropteran Horror *Simple Spell * Transmutation
Effects: The caster or a willing ally gains blindsight that extends to a 60 -foot radius.
Duration: 4 hours
Jeremy casts a spell instead of relying on his infernal abilities. The senses of the Chiropteran horror were always free for him to use — but he preferred to keep his normal visage as much as possible. Actual transformation would have left him looking like a bat out of hell, and he was pretty sure the changes would be quite permanent.
His vision fades to black and gray. It couldn’t discern colors, but it was particularly sensitive to movement.
He enters the cave, noting patches of moss near the entrance. He knows the moss is luminous, but light didn’t register in his altered senses. The goblins would know he was coming, or at least, that there was an intruder. The moss serves as a warning device — seemingly connected to the psyche of every goblin occupying the caves where it grew.
Goblins were certainly capable of laying traps, but they preferred the more direct approach of rushing out to greet intruders.
The first goblins arrived within minutes — carrying crude clubs and spears, with one of them sporting a shield.
There was none of the usual fear or groveling that came with a strengthened life ward. Goblins either didn’t fear death, or their biology made them resistant to necrotic energy.
Fire it is.
While the usual elemental bolt could easily deal with the goblins, he knew leaving their corpses to rot would just spawn more of their ilk. He needed a more efficient way to deal with the problem.
Consuming Flames *Compound Spell * Evocation/Conjuration
Effect: Sends a wave of flame 10-feet in width and 20-feet in length. The flames persist for 18 seconds or as long as they are in contact with flammable material. The effects can be ended with a successful resistance check.
A wave of fire hits the goblins before they could react. There were no screams of agony or wails of pain, as the flames burned even the air in their lungs.
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As usual, the wizard’s conjured fire burned blue, accompanied by lingering traces of sulfur. He couldn’t exactly see the colors, but he could feel the higher temperature. While he could certainly conjure regular fire, doing so required a bit of effort. Since he was alone, nobody would complain if a bit of hellfire was used in dealing with goblins.
The fires erased the traces of the goblins, leaving only the blackened ground from which their bodies fell. Goblins produced no cores, and the practice of cutting their ears has long since been frowned upon. Burning was the only way to dispose of goblin corpses — and Jeremy believed he did so spectacularly.
He dissipated the fires before they consumed the entire cave system — or maybe even find purchase in the surface. Hellfire tended to rage until it consumed every organic matter it can reach. The surface, while a bit barren, still had patches of weed and grass.
A harsh wailing sound blasts from the deeper parts of the cave. It was unlike any sound the wizard had encountered, but he knew a dying wail when he heard one. It seems like the goblins had prey within the cave — the day just got more complicated.
Jeremy reins in his life ward to within two steps but he kept its intensity high. He didn’t want little pieces of goblin entering his mouth accidentally — possibly growing into a new goblin inside of him. Just the thought of it made him nauseous.
He ran in the direction of the sound, careful to mask his steps as much as he could — not that he needed to stay silent. The wailing was persistent, filling the cave with constant noise that made his chiropteran senses even sharper.
The wizard encountered a few more patrols, but they all met the same fate as their earlier compatriots. Pitting goblins against a trained mage were akin to peasants battling a fire-breathing hellhound. Unless they had a way of damaging from afar, the battle was lost at the onset.
Sure, they can rush an untrained wizard, but the likes of Jeremy were far beyond their level. To the wizard, this was not even a battle — it was just the usual pest control.
The wailing grew clearer as he got deeper into the cave. He could now hear the rustling steps of goblins as he neared one of the larger caverns.
A dozen or so goblins were spread out across the large cavern. At the center was a giant shell — the source of the wailing.
He could bathe the entire cavern in hellfire, burning every goblin within — but the creature within the shell would likely share their fate. He guessed it was a snail — although he hasn’t heard of one growing to that size. He did notice streaks of slime on the cave floor, but he dismissed them, thinking they were some sort of goblin by-product or excrement.
Their positioning was problematic. Dealing with the goblins one at a time would give them an opportunity to make a charge — and he didn’t want to get overrun by goblins.
Dying to goblins was an ignominious fate. He imagined his father suffering a stroke after learning about his disgraceful demise through a scrying or a wayward vision.
This would require a more complex solution.
Eldritch Weapon * Compound Spell * Conjuration
Effect: Conjures a spectral weapon that follows the will of the caster. The weapon can attack creatures within 20 steps of the caster, dealing damage proportional to the mana spent on crafting the spell.
Duration: 1 minute
He used a sizable amount of mana for the spell, creating a thin needle-like dart. The dart would deal with any goblin that came close, allowing him to cast spells without interruption. The barely visible dart flew low to the ground, floating ten steps away from Jeremy.
Then again, he could just…
The dart flies towards a nearby goblin, arcing up and piercing the goblin’s jaw and exiting the top of its head. The goblin’s sudden death alerted the rest — their attention drawn to the falling body.
The dart speeds to its next target. Aware of the incoming attack, the goblin tries to ward off the spectral dart by clubbing it with its weapon. The attempted parry merely passes through the spectral weapon. That dart hits the goblin’s neck, nearly cutting the head off.
“Spellcaster!” a goblin cries in their crude tongue.
The wizard realized years ago that he could practically understand most languages — a perk of having demons in his head. That cry meant he didn’t have a lot of time to finish off the goblins.
Another goblin fell to his dart, leaving eight standing. Three of the goblins managed to reach within ten steps of the wizard, but they were met with an all-consuming wave of fire. Five left.
One of the remaining goblins starts fleeing deeper into the cave. The wizard noted the action, sending his spectral dart towards the fleeing goblin.
The remaining goblins finally made their way towards the wizard — but by then it was too late.
Wisps of smoke billows from the ground, coalescing into shadowy tentacles that holds each goblin in place. Try as they can, the tentacles were too strong for their size and strength — and their bodies were slowly being drained of life.
Grasping Shadows * Compound Spell * Conjuration * Necrotic
Effect: Conjures 5-6 shadow tentacles that immobilize creatures of the caster’s choosing within a 5-step radius. Each tentacle deals necrotic damage proportional to the mana used in crafting the spell.
Duration: Concentration
The wizard waited until every goblin was still before dissipating the spell. While the spell seemed quite diabolical, it was quite common within wizard circles. It was one of the spells he learned from his father — although his infernal tutors had more gruesome versions of it. A muffled cry indicated the death of the fleeing goblin.
Extermination successful.
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Nero Zero
Monsters plagued the lands for too long. No matter if one had fangs, beak, teeth, skin, fur, or feather, or was tall, stout, or diminutive, the people suffered. Until the Gadgeteers came with a device that could allow people to fight back. Powered by one's own magical power, feeding off of monster Essence, the Arbitrium bracer turned the tables. It also changed society. Strength of one's level cap was all that mattered. The strongest were Kings and Emperors. The weak or those too poor to afford the marvelous device, destitute. And so it has been for millennia. All that mattered was one's level cap. High, low, a fate decided the moment the strange contraption came alive. Too high and you were a threat to those interested in keeping the status quo, a weed to be nipped before it could grow and take root. Too low and you were nobody, fated to be a bit more than a simple farmer. What if someone, somewhere, came up with a zero for their level cap? Unable to use Essence, unable to level up. On all of recorded history, it never happened. Until it did. In a small village of fur-less and tail-less ape-beastkin, a boy found out he was uniquely handicapped. Nero's level cap was Zero. But he'd never let that stop him from reaching his goals. ------------------------------------------------ All stories have already been told. We merely reuse elements from them. From Joseph Campbell's Monomith to Stephen King's advice, and that encyclopedia of tropes you've visited, fiction has been dissected and reassembled countless times. One will surely find elements inspired on other works here. Just like cooking from basic ingredients, the recipe and presentation is what really matter. This is a fantasy adventure, of someone that goes from a zero to a slightly bigger zero. It will have romance but no harem. Cruelty but with hope dimly shining ahead. Lightweight where it can be, heavy where it must. Thanks for reading. Cover Credits (The cover is CC-BY-NC-SA): Steampunk Spider Bracer, by Daniel Proulx. CC-BY-NC-SA Picture Frame, @anaterate, Pixabay license. Some odds and bits from here and there.
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