"Oooh-kay..."

Jered chewed the inside of his cheek as he dragged his eyes over. The newly-arrived hovering interface turned up with a beeping sound in its starter package. Additionally, the content inside was doing a poorly copycat job of these newfangled game ads that had been popping up on the internet lately. With a deep and peeved groan, he started scrutinizing the screen, and aside from that last intimidatory reminder at the end, it felt like his brain was trying to hoax—or worse, scam—him. The only thing missing was the voice with a stereotype thick foreign accent trying to wheedle him into giving his information away.

Well, there was not much to do anyway.

He cast a glance at his neglected phone, whose screen had already gone black from the temporary disuse. He wanted to at least put a funny comment under Jasmine's selfie, if just to rile her up a little bit... and look cool while doing so. His father had always strong-armed nihilism and confidence in him, and as he grew up, he developed a humoristic view of the world. 'Life means very little in the grand scheme of things, son. For fuck's sake, break that scheme.', John had told him enigmatically. 'Truth belongs to those who seek it... and if you can't find it, make of your lie the truth everyone else will seek.'

Jered could still remember the ghost of a smile on his father's face—a longing chuckle just beneath the surface. John was the ubermensch Nietzsche would have been proud of. A true superman. He wondered if his mother and Jasmine had ever noticed it, not that he was any better. He was still trying to find the scheme the man had so wistfully spoken about. It was a week before he died. A week before things fell apart. A week before Jered had his first nightmare.

'Hell is empty. All the devils are here...'

He shook his head, and with that last internal battle winding down, he crammed his quandaries into the backburner of his mind, "Menu."

[Status] [Library] [Limbo]

A new interface scrolled down before his eyes.

Those things had a reactionary response to vocal commands. That was certainly not what he had expected. Jered was a bit floored, the source of the problem eluded him. And it was not normal, not even for him—and he could easily write a book about his idiosyncrasy. His brain might be having its jollies by hornswoggling him like that, probably out of a vindictive streak from all those pills he ingested. In his defense, he was still alive. Not that it was a good excuse, but who cares? Definitely not him, so his brain shouldn't either.

But no, that smelled way too fishy to be a by-product of his vengeful brain. He narrowed his eyes and pressed on, "Status."

[Name: Jered von Jacobs]

[Age: 16]

[Race: Human/? ]

[Class: - | Type: - ]

[Title: - ]

[Rank: - | Unlocked Veins: - ]

[Magic Density: - ]

[Mana Pool: - ]

[Soul: Mortal | Average]

[Sin: - ]

[Mandatory Quests: 0/4]

He studied the values, attempting to understand their esoteric connotations. And beside some of his personal data, everything else was fairly ambiguous. Most of these terms were making no sense. Was he supposed to somehow fill them in with numbers and letters? He didn't want to shape up an erroneous theory on to base his future judgments on. Damn, he still couldn't believe it...

[I see you have already started getting acquainted with the system!]

Jered blinked at the screen. This one had shown up on its own.

[Mana is the groundwork of any world, and also the best attribute to prove your strength with. In light of the fact that you'll need every ounce of power you can get, we have adjusted the system to better fit your mindset.]

Another notification sprung up out of nowhere, and it seemed perfectly au courant with him and his actions.

[We have endowed you with a library feature to better aid you in your endeavors, avoiding all that asperity of learning skills through good old hard work. You'll have to come in contact with a skill book for it to be consumed by the Library. Of course, relying too much on free meals will not make you powerful, be mindful of that. To prove yourself worthy of Paranoia! complete the mandatory 4 quests. After that, the Wheel of Fate will choose your class. The 'Limbo' feature is currently unlocked. Do beware that failing the trials will erase any and all of your memories of the system.]

All of the prompts closed off once his eyes read the last line. He wetted his lips and fell into deep ponder, stuck between attaching a weight to those screens and running to the nearest wringer to get his brain thoroughly scanned. It didn't feel like tomfoolery. And unless he had fallen victim to a prank staged up by a bunch of extraterrestrial creatures in some uncharted corner of the Milky Way—only to humor their masses through their equivalent of the internet—he couldn't come up with anything else.

He still chortled at the thought; that wouldn't have been that unwelcoming, all things considered. Maybe he could become an influencer there.

[Let's get you started with your first mandatory quest!]

[Quest of Kindness: Your mother is getting back home, fatigued, and carrying with her another day of hardships. Prepare her a sumptuous dinner to show her some goddamn loving, unfilial host.]

[Reward: Mana Circuit]

"Oh wow, don't get your virtual panties in a twist, system."

Jered chewed his bottom lip in ambivalence. Lighting up the screen of his mobile showed that it was indeed almost time for his mother to be back. He was no expert cook, but he had enough experience to pull out something edible and fairly decent... and, why not? He was quite famished himself.

"Also... don't ever take that tone with me, or I swear I will fill your library with Literotica."

Jane von Jacobs, mother of two, assistant secretary for a small company in Alabama—and to whoever asked, a knockout lady still in her prime, thank you very much—was beyond riled up. No, she was incensed. No, scratch that, she was unquestionably and absolutely furious. For all of her god-given patience, she just couldn't put up with Brad McNair, the quintessential office sexual harasser, one of the most stereotype perverts she thought existed only on third-rate movies... until she met him, that is.

The only good thing was that, while her situation strongly resembled a cliché drama series, Brad didn't actually hold any true position of power in the company. So his veiled threats and cheesy flirts were nothing but farts, and despite being harmless, nobody would be pleased to catch the whiff of a particularly smelly fart. And ladies and gentlemen, Brad was a nasty one, Jane could acknowledge that even in a court. Hell, once or twice she considered suing him only for his ridiculously thick eyebrows; those monstruosities should have been illegal.

She heaved a deep sigh as she pulled back the handbrake and got out of her Mini Coupee. They used to have a bigger and more exquisite car, when her husband was still alive. With the financial problems that jabbed at her from all sides after his death, she was constrained to trade it up for a smaller one and use the rest of the money to pay off debts.

Jane's heels clacked against the softwood flooring, her face scrunching up from the ache her poor feet were weathering through. Going around with such footwear daily was literally doing a number on her. Screw work's clothes code! Screw her job! But most importantly, screw Brad! No, wait. He'd probably 'like' that.

She dragged a hand across her face, failing to get rid of her weariness, or some of her anger, "Ah, to hell with it." she snorted, tugging her feet out of her heels and letting them dangle by the hem of her fingers. The pain abated a bit, much to her relief. Now barefooted, with only her pantyhose cushioning her steps, she strode forth.

"Mom?" her son's voice wafted from the kitchen. She paused. The kitchen's glow cast a blanket of light on the shadowy hallway she was in, and the hodgepodge of noises from within was like the only sign that her house was not dead—not completely, at least.

"Jered?" Jane called back, "What are you doing?" she sauntered inside, and the sight made her arch a shapely eyebrow up.

Jered pulled the faucet lever on the sink down, and the running water tapered off. He turned around and dried his hands with a cloth, "Oh, you know... cooking."

Her eyebrow went even higher as she delivered him a 'duh' sort of look, "I can see that, honey." her eyes then scoured over the exquisitely set up table, to the pots and pans over a low flame, and then back to him, "You must have been really hungry to actually not wait for me. Is your sister not coming back?" she asked as she sank down on a chair, rubbing her left calf.

"No, she's not. Alison and her mother must have persuaded Jasmine into staying there for another week or something, yet again." he turned off the fire and hummed to himself.

"Be nice." her tone was supposed to be chiding, but the twinges of her sadness still reverberated through, "They're being awfully kind to be taking care of her so much."

"I guess." he nodded thoughtfully, "At least she looks happy."

Jane smiled ruefully, not that he could see with his back turned, "Yeah..."

The conversation ended, and Jered poured spoonfuls of rice over his and her plate.

"Curry?" she bit back a smile as she took long sniffs of the spicy aroma in the other pot, "That's my favorite! How did you know?"

"I know, Jasmine knows, our dear neighbors know, gosh, even Jesus knows. The smell must have reached heaven before we could stop it. Our whole neighborhood should be throwing money at me and Jasmine for stopping you at that time, or you would've kept making it every day." he chuckled at the resurfacing memories, "We were so nauseated by eating curry that even saying its name out loud made us flinch. Jasmine aptly called it 'The-Food-That-Must-Not-Be-Named'... I hope you realize how serious the situation was."

"It was not that bad," she mumbled defensively.

"It wasn't? You need a memory check mom, let me explain things to you." he rolled up his sleeves and sat down, "You do remember that supermarket a few streets away? The one that closed down a few months ago." at her nod he continued, "Well, I overheard their cashiers whispering about the 'Curry Lady' that'd come in and buy the same ingredients every day. And then, of course, things took a tragic turn when Halloween came around and you became a horror tale to them. It was so ridiculous that somehow you became both a joke and a legend among their circle. And I don't even know how many horror stories they based on you."

She gasped overdramatically, "That can't possibly be true. I'm sure they were just talking about my beauty." she whipped her hair around to add to her point.

"Mom..."

"Just kidding." Jane chuckled behind her hand, "I know, that was a rough phase of mine." she poked her food around a bit, the ghost of a smile gracing her face, "But it was a funny one. You and Jasmine took control of the kitchen and you'd shoo me away every time I tried to step in."

"And then it all snowballed into a warzone." he supplied theatrically, "You were so obsessed we were kinda starting to believe those tales, mom. Not to mention that the smell of curry permeated the house for quite a while. Jasmine had to spray all of her Louis Vuitton perfume to make the air breathable again."

She smiled, and it was a reminiscent one. A smile that concealed all of the thoughts and memories and good stuff...

Jered brought a forkful of rice and chicken into his mouth, his attention glued on that smile, and everything it contained.

Some things never change...

[Quest completed.]

[You have been awarded a Mana Circuit]

[Do you want to open the reward right now? Y/N]

... but maybe, with a little help, life would start looking up—or look even more down. Who knew. Jered was in it for the thrilling joyride anyway.