I taste crisp white wine and orange peel and menthol and dry cinnamon and banana milk? All at once?

Kissingkissingkissingkissing.

It finishes. What? Who? What finished? Oh… right… kissing. I was being kissed by Jim. My tongue was being defiled over and over. How did that happen?

“Muuuy furrrrst kisssss… aaammmazinnn…” I attempt speech, like a baby trying to pronounce words.

I should be embarrassed to have such poor diction as a noblewoman, but right now, my vision is out of focus, my heart is in my throat, and I breathe like I’ve just finished a hyper-tennis match.

Uuuuu… I should have been ready for this, but now I’m really showing how inexperienced I am. What a blunder!

I… had no idea kissing was so intense. I thought it would be a bit boring like when brother kisses me on the head. It’s totally not! How do you prepare for that!

I should have watched more kissing videos on YouPipe!

I come back down to reality after a few seconds, and Jim is looking at me like he is scared and concerned.

“Ahem!” I clear my throat. “T-Thankyou!” I manage to say, meekly. My cheeks are doubtlessly rosy. “I’m fine!”

Anything more than a few syllables is still impossible right now. But I think he gets it. He puts his hands over his eyes and sighs.

“I’m really sorry, Lapis, I got ahead of myself. How can ever repay taking away your first kiss? Ugh… beast…”

He’s apologising!? I must really have seemed off!

“No! I… I really liked it! Its fine! It’s really fine!! It was amazing! I loved it! I’m your wife. You can kiss me and do everything to me for the first time!”

He somehow looks even more mortified at this. OH NO!

What a fool! My goodness; I really have made a blunder! I’m like a child saying I can do everything and I can’t lose. Awawawawawa!

No! Calm yourself! You’re a noble! Stop acting like a five-year old, you’re nearly fifteen!

I pull myself up and away, desperately trying to re-assert my training. I look away from him. I can’t look right now, I’ll dig myself into an even deeper hole.

Yes! I can leave now! A wedding greeting is just a short discussion about the future and a kiss. So… so I’m done! Thank the three gods above!

“I- I hope this was sufficient for your wedding greetings. I… I still need to collect some things from my home so I can move in with you… so… I should go!”

“I- I will return for around midday!”

I almost dash, but manage to get out the door and close it behind me in as much of a polite way as possible.

Twelve gods below, I’m such a coward!

I tap down the stairs quickly in my retreat nonetheless, and without hesitation, practically leap into the back seat of still waiting car and close the door.

My hands cover my face.

“Uuuuuuuu… soooo embarrassing.” I squeak.

“Oh…? Oh Oh Oh! Little Lapis!” Donna looks over at me.

CRAP. I LEAPT RIGHT OFF A CLIFF INTO DONNA. NOOOOOOOO.

“It must have turned really frisky! Eh, eh, didn’t I tell you!?! You’re real cute, no man could resist you!”

“Please Donna! J-Just go!” I splutter.

I lose my head and colour myself crimson again, just thinking about it. The car starts up again, and we’re soon back on the road to the estate.

“I had no idea kissing was so… so much tongue…”

“Hahaha! Kissing can be all sorts of things, Little Lapis. If it was that bad, it means you did very well!”

“Really?” All I can manage is a squeak.

“REALLY! If he’s doing that to a new wife, it means he’s already fallen for you.”

Somehow… that actually makes me… happy?

As I stare at my bony elbows with a quirky smile, I catch the fact that Donna is looking at me through the rear-view mirror with a wistful, motherly expression. That look makes me feel complicated inside.

I fidget for a moment, then take out my phone. I have to confirm with the others about this!

LAZULILOVE>> [@BACKSASH um… Sasha what woz your first kiss like…]

BACKSASH>> [Ok. I don’t think Mike likes it much… why?]

BACKSASH>> [ohmygosh! Your status changed to married Lapis! @ALL look look, Lapis is married! ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶]

LAZULILOVE>> [SASHA!]

FRAN$KOMAX>> [Srsly?! Wow! Ur rite. Deets nao!]

KISSKRIS49>> [WHEN!? w(°ｏ°)w ]

LILYPAD_X>> [Plz Tell me not Upton!]

LAZULILOVE>> [No way! Ember match this morn. 31 Healer]

FRAN$KOMAX>> [uwotm8]

KISSKRIS49>> [You kidding me? SUPER LUCKY!]

LILYPAD_X>> [You not fibbing right? You don’t have to act tough for us Lapis. If its Upton we’ll help you through this, you know it.]

BACKSASH>> [yeah don’t lie to us gurl we’ll help]

FRAN$KOMAX>> [@BACKSASH @LILYPAD_X Nope tits true just hacked the registrar database. Suddenborn! Makes sense!]

KISSKRIS49>> [More than Super Lucky! JACKPOT!]

LILYPAD_X>> [Apologies then. Congratulations!]

BACKSASH>> [Yeah likewise. A doctor, eh? Pretty dreamy!]

KISSKRIS49>> [Or izzit steamy? She asked about kisses! I LOOOVE KISSES! THEY MAKE ME SWOON! ♡(￣З￣)♡ ]

LILYPAD_X>> [YES WE KNOW KRIS. You changed your username for them. Gods above.]

LAZULILOVE>> [Yeah. But this time I care. Is there meant to be so much tongue Kris?]

KISSKRIS49>> [Wow! Tongue on first kiss. Ur lucky girl Lapis. Its good sister. Means he likes you a lot!!]

BACKSASH>> [Ahem. Well; I like kisses when he does them but he’s mostly working at the moment on spells.]

FRAN$KOMAX>> [I’d rather k1$$ my monitor. Blech. Having sex right nao actually, pretty bored TBH.]

LILYPAD_X>> [TOO MANY DETAILS FRAN (ಠ_ಠ)]

FRAN$KOMAX>> [Teehee huhuhu. Oh better go he’s cumming.]

Godsdammit Fran! I throw my phone away onto the seat. How can she type whilst… Uuuuu… but I got an answer at least? Apparently, it varies, but Kris confirmed that it means he likes me like Donna said; so I think I’m lucky because it felt pretty amazing to me… ooof…

“We’ve arrived at the estate, mi’lady. The Master is waiting for you, it seems!”

AHH! I quickly run my hands through my hair and over the creases and ruffles in my dress as best I can. Thank the gods above for blackout windows.

The door is opened for me a moment later, and with a trained composure, I step out, and immediately curtsy.

“Father. I have returned.”

“Welcome back, Lady Corwin. You can rise.”

I do so. Its strange to hear that will be my name now… as I look up, I see that father is actually smiling. Its such a surprise that I can’t help but blink.

“You have done extremely well, my daughter. Your new husband has accepted the initial dowry and has not requested anything further. Truly your charms must have seemed exquisite to him for him to settle so low!”

Of course, he’s happy about a profit. I should have figured. I! I didn’t even think about the dowry, my mind was all over the place! Hells… But… this means Jim was still satisfied despite my lacking performance. He… maybe he really does care for me?

Though I don’t notice; a tiny ember flickers to life in my cold heart in that moment.