There is a banshee’s scream of brakes and I look up in alarm from my phone screen only to see a mere metre between me and my demise.

In my last second, I wonder whether I can text Sid, and get him to promise to clear my hard-drive for me. Honestly, I should have extracted a promise from him beforehand, because I’m not that fast at predictive text. I won’t make it. It would come out all wrong.

I then laugh at my last thoughts. I didn’t even get to finish booting up Ember to swipe some girls before I die. At least my last memory should have been of a pretty face… hah…

No! Stay positive! I might find myself getting an apology from a goddess and a quest to slay a demon lord!

The eighteen-wheeler impacts me, and I fall.

…

On my butt. Ow.

Uh. I’m alive?

The grating at the front of the truck is right in front of my face. It just nudged me off my feet. Wow. I guess I underestimated just how good its brakes were. Which is good… but somehow anticlimactic… what am I even saying?

I’m alive!

“Kid! You okay?!” I hear shouted. Presumably at me. I’m actually 31, but I should take it as a compliment by the rusty old guy who leaps out of the cab.

I pull myself off my butt and blink, patting myself down. I do indeed seem to be fine. My butt is cold. And I may have bruised my ass and twisted my ankle, considering the slight twinges, but considering the fact that I should have been a crushed bag of bones surrounded by minced meat…

“Uh… yeah! I’m good!” I reply.

“Thank the gods!” He sighs. “I’m really sorry, you really came outta no-where, but I should have been watching the crossing!”

I dust off my jeans, and look at the fella. He’s in shorts (in this weather!) and a t-shirt depicting a death metal band I’ve never heard of, it seems. About in his fifties? Burnt out old rocker slash truck driver? Looks like he’s really honestly worried. I feel sorry for him. He nearly ended road-killing a guy, and I mean, it’s also my fault, I was distracted by texting and trying to boot up an app that would allow me to start arbitrarily judging women on their appearance. I raise my hands.

“No problem. No harm, no foul. I’m good, buddy. I wasn’t paying attention either, and it was more a 'boop' than an impact.” I reply.

He looks relieved.

“Uh… that’s good. Are you sure? You nearly died!”

“Yep. Truly. I’m fine; I see death on a daily basis, so I guess I can’t be shocked about this, haha…” I chuckle.

“You work with the dead?” He asks, looking under his eyes.

Man… the way I said it, it does sound like I’m an undertaker or something, doesn’t it? I wave my hand.

“No, sorry, that was misleading. I’m a Doctor at the hospital. I do a few late shifts.” I explain.

“Ah, I see!” his expression brightens.

“Yeah, well, I’m just off the late shift, so I’m heading back now for sleep. So, seriously, I’m all good!”

“If you’re sure. Thanks!” He nods, and gets back into his cab.

This crossing is mostly deserted at this time of the morning, so at least we didn’t get a crowd. I guess I could have whined and played the sympathy card or something. I suppose a quick-thinking guy could have turned this situation into insurance money. Shit. Well… no, I couldn’t do that anyway. I’m just not that way inclined, would have left a bad taste in my mouth.

I shake my head. Hah… I carry on walking, and the truck also slips off into the misty blue of the early December morning. I pick up my duffel bag that has one of my uniforms in it to wash, and realise I still have a death grip on my phone. I put it in my pocket for now. I’ve learnt my lesson for the day. Look left and right at crossings even in the dead hours.

I finally reach the outside staircase, and go up two flights and along the walkway to my apartment. The light on the second floor is out again. They must put the cheapest bulbs ever there. They blow within a month, every time. Why not just invest in LED bulbs? I unlock the door with a swipe from my magnetic key card; which is easily the poshest thing about this place.

I close my front door and am greeting by the warmth of the heating in my little front room. Its more apparent than usual because I fell on my ass and its still cold from a couple of minutes ago. Ah! Good!

I take off my coat, and pull out my phone again, collapsing on the couch. I should go to sleep straight away, but I never can. When you do the graveyard shift; it feels wrong to immediately go to bed, even though its also pretty stupid to sleep from 1pm til 7pm… oh well. I guess I’ll play some Legend 7 or something to waste the time.

I tap the screen, unlock my phone, and Ember comes up. Oh right, I was about to use this…

[Disconnected… please wait… updating profile…]

[Update Complete. Resume session?]

I’ve never seen it do that before. Weird. Uh? Well, I was gonna do a game, but I tap yes anyway. Hehe… swiping at girls faces like a cat is sort of like a game, right?

And then my breath is taken away. Wow! What a cute girl! I’m honestly suspicious of this being some photoshipped picture. Honey coloured hair falling in waves over a distinct pale collarbone, a cherubic face, eyes so dark blue that they seem purple, and a bashful smile. “Lapis, 18” marks the bottom.

I immediately swipe her right.

Then I get a dreaded spinning circle. For fucks sakes.

I realise the Wi-Fi signal has cut out. I pull down the menu and re-enable my data (I have to keep it off and on silent at work, obviously), but then I realise my battery charge is also at just 6%. Ugh…

Well, okay, change of plans, I’ll shower whilst its charging, then play some games or do some more swiping.

I get up, and pop my phone into the charger cable that’s sat on my computer desk. I stare at the router whilst I’m there, and its blinking red lights indicate that it has indeed disconnected. Rubbish equipment!

In the bathroom, I get out of my clothes, grab the towels and get in the hot water, sighing in relief. I do love a hot shower. I think power showers are among humanities greatest inventions.

Whilst I’m soaking, rather than the boring shift, or the near-death experience I just had, my mind instead drifts back to the girl’s face I experienced for merely a moment. Just goes to show the power of libido, I guess. Well… she was especially extraordinary.

Lapis? Like Lapis-Lazuli? Considering you normally get rather standard names on Ember, like Jane and Samantha, that also really stood out, now that I think about it. She was 18 as well? I should probably hesitate over a 13-year difference… she did look really young, after all. But actually, my father dated my mother when he was 35 and she was 19, so I guess it’s in my blood? Ahem! Well, I’m getting ahead of myself like some idiot.

I get out the hot stream reluctantly and towel myself down. I start to shave to get rid of my five-o-clock shadow in the mirror whilst my face is still damp. I look like an alright ‘boy-next-door’ at best, and some might call my face a little pudgy, so a girl that gorgeous is never going to match me.

I bet a supermodel like her has university boys her age eating out the palm of her hand; and joined Ember for a laugh to see desperate fools falling over her.

I sigh and leave my tiny bathroom, put on a pair of clean boxers lying on the clothes airer, and take out the remains of the banana-flavoured milk from the fridge. I gulp it down. Out of the corner of my eye, I glance at my phone, sat tethered to the desk on the other side of the kitchen/living area.

I’m like a lovesick idiot. Holy Shit.

Even as I berate myself, I find myself foolishly magnetised to the phone, and unlock it as I take a sip of the tasty e-numbers.

[MATCHED! Your marriage proposal to has been approved by the other party!]

I nearly die for the second time that day as I choke on banana-flavoured milk.