Frozen on the rooftop of a skyscraper, Cadell’s nostrils flared to such a degree that you could fit four pencils in there, five if you were skilled enough. Almost every muscle tensed as his right eye twitched.

“Listen closely, my friend,” the superhero muttered to absolutely nobody. “The key to avoiding sneezing is simple. You must have patience and wait for the tingling sensation to subside.”

Beads of sweat dripped down Cadell’s forehead. The stakes were high. His friend Elijah had only just repaired and cleaned the Psycho mask which was not only a technological marvel but an awesomeness of awesomeness. Its basic exterior design of a twisted white smile glowed in the sunlight.

A mysterious deep chilling voice, one which only Cadell could hear, interrupted the silence. What is your dumbass doing? It’s time to cleanse, boy.

“Achoo!” Droplets of mucus and saliva sprayed against the masks’ interior. A mini hologram projecting from the mask, currently showing panels of the manga One Piece, flickered rapidly.

“Oops.”

Cadell leaped off the building, his mind already latching onto an obsession. The Voice was correct of course. It was time. He flipped and spun continuously during the free fall before stretching out every limb. His eyes beamed at London’s cityscape with a passion too intense, as if there was something fascinating about the maze of uninspired buildings or the endless noise pollution.

The black super suit on top of Cadell’s tall, muscular physique was unsettling for most, even during day shifts. It was randomly marked in purple and shining at the torso region was a crude drawing of a white straightjacket, known to the world as the Psycho logo.

“Let’s go!” With one subtle hand motion, the mask’s hologram expanded, showing a page of folders. Each one was filled with tons of media, mainly anime and manga dating from the 2010s, but also the occasional American show. Sometimes, on a slow day, he would binge watch while patrolling.

Cadell closed the page as an idea brought a smile to his face. “Shantel, play Touch the Sky by Kanye West! You know that’s my jam!”

An AI programmed with a smooth woman’s voice replied, “Sure thing, Cad.”

The lively song played as Cadell laughed despite concrete waiting to obliterate every bone in his body. He zipped into a purple portal on the ground and catapulted out of another one vertically floating in the air.

Almost breaking the sound barrier, Cadell burst forwards over many buildings and streets, his eyes now glowing purple. He dipped or rose into successive portals, slingshotting erratically around the city as if he was stuck in a pinball machine. Every grain of momentum accumulated from the freefall was taken full advantage of. One moment he was flipping high in the skies and the next, he was narrowly avoiding oncoming traffic, vaulting over honking cars with a wild grin.

After jumping off a couple more buildings just because he could, Cadell strolled down one of London’s many high streets as the inevitable monotony began to sink in. This particular high street could possibly be described as garbage. The stench of cigarettes filled the air and you couldn’t take two steps without seeing ancient chewing gum staining the ground. Civilians froze upon seeing the superhero, some hastily reaching for their phones. They triggered his visual hallucinations. Various bright colours filled their clothing, mostly burning oranges and ocean blues. Indications of excitement and fear.

“Psycho!” The voice was shaky with a thick Jamaican accent. “I need your help!”

Cadell paused, already skeptical before turning around. An old woman with terrible posture limped towards him. His hallucination of her was abnormal; spirals of pink and black shot out of her wrinkled face. He sighed. This won’t be pleasant.

“How can I help you ma’am?”

“Find my dog now.”

“I’m sorry for your loss but that’s not the kind of stuff I deal with. You should–”

“You’re what’s wrong with this city!” the woman spat, glaring up at him. “You’re a murderer who should be locked behind bars and that evil voodoo magic is polluting the air! Your costume is an eyesore and…”

Completely tuned out from the rant, Cadell’s eyes widened. The murderer part was unfortunately true. He could understand his superpowers being seen as voodoo magic. But the super suit being an eyesore? The amazing, ground breaking, masterpiece super suit–literally the coolest thing he owned– an eyesore?”

“Man,” Cadell said, his voice cracking slightly. “Day shifts suck.”

The rest of Cadell’s morning consisted of grumbling which was a rarity as few things could irritate him, and the lack of crimes to cleanse didn't help. He patrolled every London borough, either assisting emergency ambulances with his portal ability or overshadowing police investigations.

While crouching on the edge of a rooftop, Cadell scooped jollof rice from a container with a plastic spoon. He sniffed intermittently between bites, at one point using his whole sleeve to wipe a bundle of snot dangling from his nose. The Psycho mask had reluctantly been taken off, revealing a dark brown face with unkempt hair.

“This woman must be out of her– achoo!” Cadell sneezed. “Old ass woman looking like a shrivelled– achoo! Couldn’t see style if it was right in– achoo!”

He had a cold.

Unlike the typical superhero in a comic book, everyone knew Psycho the Superhero’s identity. The mask and costume technically weren’t necessary, but they were an integral part of who he was. There was no alternative life where he worked a normal job, and any chance of an ordinary life was obliterated after committing a double homicide. (It was a long story) Cleansing London from crime and its curse was all that mattered.

Buzz, buzz. Cadell grabbed his phone “What’s up bro?”

“I watched the first season of Vinland Saga." The voice was deep and rushed. It was Elijah, his friend. “Ten out of ten. Askeladd is a mad lad.”

Cadell jolted to his feet, orange rice particles jumping in the air. “Let’s fucking go! What did I tell you, huh? What did I tell you? Best villain!”

Maybe other things mattered too.

“How’s the day shift?” Elijah asked.

Cadell laid on his back and gazed at the sky. “Slow. Nothing the police can’t handle. An old lady roasted the super suit.”

There was silence on the other end. Elijah was likely processing the information and reeling from shock. “Don’t worry about it,” he said eventually. “She must have been visually impaired. Orr senile. Or both. How’s The Voice?”

“I like how you bring it up as if you believe it exists. Just ask if I’m having delusions.”

“Listen, Cad. There’s no other voice entering your mind. They’re just your thoughts.”

They’d had this conversation many times over the span of five years. Cadell would get annoyed at times, but he was too self-aware to argue. A voice in his head? It sounded insane. But it was true. Someone or something was inside his mind, hoping and wishing for bloodshed.

A thick streak of red vapour zoomed across the sky.

“Bro? Are you still there?”

“I sneezed in the mask,” Cadell said before ending the call. He jumped to his feet. The Voice chuckled, its boom rattling inside his skull.

What do we have here, boy?

Cadell bolted, an explosive jump soaring him through a portal. He dashed along another rooftop, increasing his strides with every step. Thoughts raced. The red mist meant bloodlust. Somewhere nearby, an individual harboured malicious intent. He dived into a portal and erupted out of another, flying after the red trail until the source was found– a black SUV.

For any normal human being, the stagnant car amidst the rush hour traffic was nothing unusual. For Cadell, however, the vehicle emitted bloody pollution. Red fumes spewed into the air and rose high up towards the clouds. Navy blue liquid periodically squirted from the car’s trunk, signifying terror. Muffled screams?

A notice flashed on the mask’s holographic display before he could act: URGENT: Armed bank robbery reported. 2.7 miles.

Mainly due to excitement, Cadell backflipped as he zipped into the next portal. He soared just above the black car which was now accelerating down the road. A kidnapping and an armed robbery occurring simultaneously? During the day?

A grin flashed on Cadell’s face, followed by cheerful laughter.

“Is this Christmas?”