Ding.

The pig is gone! Woo! The walls are clean! Woo! And the light is… mostly back to normal! Woo?

It’s kinda flickering. Maybe it isn’t screwed all the way in? Maybe the wiring was loosened when it was turned off and on again.

Anyways, other than the light, there’s a big black cauldron sitting over a fire in the corner. You can hear something inside bubbling away.

You’re a bit more cautious now, after what happened with the pig.

As the light on the ceiling flickers more you can tell that there’s a green glow emanating from the cauldron.

I’m sure that’s nothing to worry about.

You get close enough to smell it.

It smells… well, it sure doesn’t smell like “Hawaiian Breeze”. It actually smells kinda seafood-y? It isn’t precisely unpleasant, but it’s not appetizing, either.

When you get close enough to look inside, the first thing you see is a tentacle surface in a thick bubbling liquid. The second thing you see is a string of green LED lights stuck just inside the rim of the cauldron.

The magic of modern technology, where will it end…

You pull off the strip of lights, finding a battery pack painted black and hidden on the outside where you wouldn’t immediately see it.

Lame. You’re too smart to fall for something like that. The liquid probably isn’t even black.

You stick your finger into the cauldron.

Why would you do that? It’s boiling, for crying out loud!

That’s what I get, for calling you smart. You just had to prove me wrong, didn’t you?

Anyways, yes, THE BOILING LIQUID IS HOT. Shocker.

Also, now that it’s on your fingers, you can tell that it really is black. It’s slightly oily, and the smell is pretty strong.

You lick your fingers, because of course you do, and can taste some kind of squid? Octopus? Something salty that reminds you of seafood.

You look back into the cauldron. The liquid is fairly opaque. On occasion a severed tentacle will rise to the surface, but mostly it’s just the liquid and black things that look kinda like noodles?

Finally you notice a ladle sitting against the wall. You pick it up and dip it in, swirling the liquid around. More tentacles appear.

You pull the ladle out. The black noodle-y things are, in fact, black noodles. The tentacles look like octopus tentacles, rather than eldritch horror tentacles.

It’s… well, ok, if you like seafood, it’s pretty darn good. A bit salty, maybe, but really it isn’t bad. It’s way better than those soups from earlier.

If you don’t like seafood, then why did you try eating something that was obviously seafood-based? It’s just as gross as any other dish with octopus in it.

If you like seafood, you might take another couple bites, enjoying the flavors and textures, before leaving the ladle in the cauldron for good.

If you don’t like seafood, you drop the ladle into the cauldron and wish it back to whatever hell it came from.

If you’re allergic to seafood, YOU ARE FILLED WITH INSTANT REGRET. Again, whyy??? You pass out on the floor, unable to breathe. I go into a frenzy, calling my boss and the med team, trying to make sure you don’t DIE FROM YOUR OWN STUPIDITY. You’ll wake up after a while, wondering why the hell you tried to eat something you knew you were allergic to.

Yyyyyeah no, not gonna try that one. Food, as a general rule, shouldn’t be black. That’s sus as hell.

Plus, if you’re allergic to seafood, how stupid would you have to be to eat something that obviously has seafood in it? Hah! Can you imagine…

Well, that mystery figured out, you go back to the button.

DO YOU PUSH THE BUTTON? Yes No