You slap the button.

Ding.

Back to dings, I see.

The lime jello is gone! Woo!

And it has been magically cleaned off of you, too! Double woo!

Looks like there’s no bad news this time!

Of course, there is this thing in the corner of the room...

Nope, no bad news at all!

What an adorable little theraphosidae! I can’t actually pronounce that word! Let’s just call it a tarantula from now on, mm’kay? Mm’kay.

Anyways, it’s running towards you for a hug!

You bend over, letting it climb onto your hand. It feels the warmth of your palm and cuddles down, getting nice and comfy.

It would probably like pets, so you take a finger and pet the tarantula.

It makes happy tarantula movements.

You’re aware at this point that when you press the button, everything in the room but you and the button vanish. You don’t want the tarantula to vanish, so you carefully refrain from pressing the button.

You decide to name the tarantula. It needs a good tarantula-sounding name. Something that really fits, y’no?

After debating for half an hour you decide on the perfect name.

Sadly, at that point I’d gotten really bored, and had slipped out to get a latte, so I don’t actually know what you named it.

Don’t tell my boss.

In my defense, all you were doing was sitting on the floor staring at a hekkin spider, for half an hour. I’m sure you were very entertained, but my online Monopoly game ended, and I had nothing else to do!

...Don’t tell my boss about that, either…

Anyways, you have a grand time with your new pet. You cuddle with it, and play with it, and stare at it, and pet it…

It starts a game of tag!

What fun!

You spend another half hour playing tag. I win a game of online monopoly.

Suddenly, it all goes wrong. The tarantula runs directly through the middle of the room.

Meaning it runs over the button.

The weight of the tarantula presses the button down.

With a Ding your friend vanishes.

Noooooooooooooooooo…….

Isn’t it cute? It’s all colorful and hairy and has eight legs and is slightly bigger than your foot, which it is walking towards now. It wants to give you a hug!

...Don’t you want it to give you a hug?

Why not? You’ll hurt its feelings if you don’t let it give your foot a hug.

What do you mean you don’t care about its feelings? How would you like it if you were dropped into a room where all you wanted to do was get a hug and people ran away screaming?

Rude!

Ok, fine, don’t let it hug you.

It turns away and pouts, going to sit on the most comfy thing on the floor that isn’t you.

That would be the button.

Congratulations.

Due to your reluctance to let the tarantula hug your foot, it is now crouched down on your only way to get it out of the room.

What will you do?

Yeah, waving at it going “shoo!” isn’t really working. Do tarantulas even hear?

According to Google they can. Who knew.

Flapping your hands at it is also not doing much. In fact, it seems to be completely ignoring you.

You should try apologizing. Go over, say “sorry”, shake hands, just like your mother probably taught you.

Ok fine, don’t shake “hands”, since the tarantula doesn’t have hands. But shake something.

...I didn’t mean shaking your fist.

Wellp. Here you are, in a standoff with a tarantula.

Do you have any idea how long those things can go without moving? I bet you’re getting some sort of an idea, since it’s been like half an hour already. I had time to go out and get a latte from the coffee shop on the corner and come back, and you’re still sitting there.

Are you planning on moving at some point this decade?

Cuz, I mean, if you aren’t, then I’m gonna just head out and get a burger. Let me know.

Oh, you’re moving now! Boredom has finally got to you! Finally!

Let’s see what you do!

Aaaaand you’re nudging it with your toe.

I mean, it’s more proactive than you’ve been since the thing arrived, but it really isn’t much.

The spider waves at you.

You nudge it again.

The spider realizes you’re interested in its seat, and politely moves.

What a polite spider.

You push the button.

With a Ding the tarantula vanishes.

SHOULD I GO GET A BURGER? Yes No