Oh noes! The tarantula is gone!

We’re really going to miss that little guy, aren’t we?

...Sure…

The thing that appeared in the room this time was a table!

It’s a fairly typical wooden table. It has a greyish tablecloth over it, the kind that’s made out of plastic but designed to look like cloth so that it’s “elegant” while also being very easily cleanable.

And on top of the tablecloth? This:

Exactly this.

Apparently the boss doesn’t want you to starve to death or whatever.

Although, you will notice that there is a complete lack of spoons in that picture. And an overabundance of useless garnishes. Seriously, who would just put a bunch of random fresh rosemary into cream of mushroom soup? And parsley in chowder? Eew.

Yeah, feel free to take those out before eating. Or, drinking, I guess.

The apple slice in the beef stew, though, that I’d try. I don’t have anything specific against chives in chicken noodle soup, but those noodles just look way overcooked.

Why are you giving me that look? Or rather, why are you giving the wall directly ahead of you that look?

Oh, you want me to shut up so you can get to eating. Right. Sorry.

Carry on.

You pick one up and start eating.

It’s slightly awkward, trying to get it into your mouth without spilling.

On top of that, the soups aren’t hot. They’re warm, put probably could have been kept in the microwave another thirty seconds.

They taste all right, sure, but they aren’t the best things ever.

It’s, umm, It’s mushy lentils with carrots in it? Not exciting at all. Not sure why the tomatoes are on top, they don’t add much.

Some gringo in the 60’s decided to add canned corn and two types of chopped peppers to a soup and call it “Mexican Fiesta”. It hasn’t changed much since then, and is equally as disappointing now as it was back then. Personally I hate the stuff.

Ok, I honestly don’t know what this is, and the cooking page I ripped the picture from offers no explanation. If you know what it is, tell me, cuz it does look interesting… Probably tastes pretty good, too.

A fairly bland and basic cream. It’s not bad in any way, unless it’s over salted, but it isn’t the thing that gets onto any “top 10” lists, unless the list is specifically about creams.

I think that’s what it is. Either that or there are way too many peas in there. To me those darker chunks look like the skin from a rotisserie chicken, which is always pretty good. Seriously don’t know why the rosemary sprig is on there.

Ok, this one you can absolutely tell came from a can. It has more sodium than anything else, and the noodles are completely flavorless. In fact, the only thing with any flavor in this bowl are the damn chives.

If we’re talking about canned soups, this is my favorite. If we’re talking about not-canned soups, it’s still up there. Gives me memories of San Francisco. But if it’s kinda lukewarm then it probably isn’t the greatest soup on the table.

This one is so dry I don’t think it technically counts as a soup any more. Also either the picture is oversaturated or the ratio of carrots to everything else is way off. Usually it’s a pretty good soup, but I wouldn’t be entering this one into any contests…

As-is, this looks like the best option to me. It’s the only one that could get away with being eaten semi-cold. The ratio of everything in there looks good, and the apple slice might add something. Darn it, I’m getting hungry now

You eat all you want to eat, mildly disappointed in the culinary skills of our chef.

Wait, we have a chef?

Ok, turns out you’re mildly disappointed in the culinary skills of Jenny from accounting, who thinks of herself as a master of “upgrading canned soup” which should tell you all you need to know…

After a few quick emails I have discovered that the bowls were on sale, as was the rosemary, and she thinks of spoons as a construct of a patriarchal society which she refuses to yield to.

Not sure what that means, but whatever. I don’t talk to Jenny much, and I hope that she doesn’t think we’re friends now.

She’s confirmed that the soups weren’t drugged, so yay? Don’t know if you were worried about that, but I kinda was.

Anyways, you are now not hungry! Huzzah!

The only question now is, will the soup in your stomach vanish along with all the empty bowls on the table? That might feel weird, if it does. Let’s hope it doesn’t.

DO YOU PUSH THE BUTTON? Yes No