When Hanna reached their house, she discovered that it had also been struck by the tentacle apocalypse. Their dad was outside, with his glasses askew. He picked up a nail and hammered a spare board he had found somewhere to the broken window.

This was not a good sign.

She walked in and was immediately accosted by a warm motherly hug. She hugged back, glad that her cheep mother and father were safe, even if their house was trashed.

“Mom, are you okay?”

“I’m fine! Did you see the tentacles? They didn’t get you, did they?”

“No. I had Kyle there to protect me....” Then she mumbled. “They got the car though.” Then after clearing her throat. “What about you, mom? Are you okay?”

She waved her hand. “I’m fine. But your room is a complete mess.”

“What?” Fuck, she’d been planning on studying tonight too, so she’d placed all her notes and shit on the desk.

She quickly ran upstairs and into her room. The door had been ripped from one hinge. The other was stuck in a weird shape and didn’t look like it would work properly. She had to slam her shoulder against it to push the door open and finally enter her room.

The bed had been flipped over and ripped apart. Her precious notes were strewn everywhere. Damn... all of Original Hanna’s things were trashed beyond repair.

A hand rested on her shoulder. She peered up at Mrs. Ivy. “It’s okay, Hanna. We’ll get you new things. And you can sleep on the couch tonight. I think we have spare blankets in the closet.”

“Hanna can stay in my room. I don’t mind sharing a bed.”

“Really, Kyle?!” Mrs. Ivy said. “I mean, I know you and your sister have been getting closer recently, but I know how much you like your space to be... Your space.”

“Yeah. It’s fine. I’d rather her sleep with me than have to sleep in the living room with that broken window.”

“Oh! What was I thinking! Of course, we can’t have her sleep in the living room. I love your dad but...” she whispered loudly. “He’s not great at fixing things.”

Then she walked off.

***

When Kyle was sure their mom had left, he wrapped his arms around Hanna. She hugged him back.

“I’m sorry the creature destroyed your stuff, Hanna.”

“It wasn’t actually my stuff, you know?”

“I know, but I’m still sorry.”

She sighed. “I always had this feeling like this was all a dream, you know? Like I couldn’t possibly be actually here in this... weird world.” She gestured to the obvious tentacle slime that was in the shape of one that had ruined the paint on her wall. “I mean, look at this?! This shit shouldn’t be happening.”

He tightened his hold on her waist. “I, for one, am glad that you’re here. I told you about how that space debris shot through our hull and passed by me to kill Ju’naiak? But what I didn’t tell you was that I always had this thought that it should have been him who survived. He would have taken that alcoholic’s place—I think his name was Jeramiah. Anyway, he would have taken his place and gone searching for Brandon to kill him.

“But For some reason, I think that just because you’re here. In this universe. I survived instead of him. And I took Kyle’s place for you.”

“That explains so much,” she whispered. ”Can you tell me about this Ju’naik? What was his personality like? Was he the type who would have taken advantage of women with your species’ apparent aphrodisiac secretions?”

“It’s Ju’naiak. And now that I think about it, he wasn’t a good person…” It took him a moment to review his memories of the asshole but eventually he came around and explained, “He was older, larger and had a lot of unnecessary girth to him. He also liked to go on about his conquests. A few times he even suggested that he used drugs to get women to sleep with him... So, Yeah, I think he would have gone around and slept with any woman he was attracted to.”

***

Hanna could see it all now. Just by coming to this universe, it changed it enough to let Kyle dodge the space debris, and survive in place of the storyline’s original villain. And she had no doubt that the hero of the story was that Lusundai, who took over for Brandon.

The evil tentacle alien would have tried to find and kill the ‘hero’ only to be thwarted time and time again. He also would have gone around raping women with his aphrodesac. Possibly even kidnapping the women part of Brandon’s entourage, depending on what type of story this was.

Then Brandon and his gaggle of female followers would hunt down Ju’naiak and kill him. Then they would all do it and get super pregnant. Like they do in hentai.

Wait. But if this Lusindai’s offspring would eventually cause the end of Earth, then that would go again the plotline of most hentai. Unless humans were a race like the Tov... or maybe different from the Tov. These kinds of writers loved to add in beings that were half something and had the best of the two species. Take Zander for instance.

Hanna started laughing as a horrifying and random thought came to her.

“What?” Kyle asked.

“You know how your excretions work on us differently from normal?”

“Obviously.”

“Well, what if my race, instead of producing Lusundai offspring, produced actual half Lusundai and half human babies? One without genetic memories?”

He chuckled. “That’s not possible. Every race has always produced full Lusundai.”

She grinned. “What if I’m right?”

He froze, then swallowed. “Well, if the Lusundai found out, then they might wipe out your planet. They pride themselves on their genetic superiority, and if your species did produce a half human half Lusundai, then that would prove that they aren’t as superior as they believe. They wouldn’t be able to live knowing that a race that was their genetic equal existed and do everything in their power to wipe it out. The Federation would need to put your species under its protection before that happens.”

“Oh... well, fuck.” She bounced from foot to foot. “Is there some way to prove one way or another? Like, can your ship’s computer run simulations.”

He shook his head. “My ship is a military offensive vessel, Hanna, not a science vessel. It can do quite a lot, but comparing genetic samples and calculating the possibility of offspring between an unknown species and a Lusundai, is not in its realm of expertise.”

She slumped her shoulders and flopped onto her chair, one of the few things to survive the damn apocalypse.

Then she had an even more horrifying thought. What if, not only Brandon’s race could produce half babies, but Kyle’s race as well? Absolutely terrified, and a bit upset at herself for not considering this, she glared at Kyle.

He raised his hands up, and his eyes grew wide. “What did I do?”

“That means that you don’t know if you can get me pregnant too!” She hissed. Then she stood up and poked him in the chest. “No more sex without a condom, at least not until I get an IUD.”

He chuckled. “Hanna, that’s really not possible between—”

“No. Sex. Without. A. Condom!”

He rolled his eyes and looked at her helplessly. “Fine. But this is pointless. There’s no way my race could impregnate yours.”

“Forgive me for not believing the non-scientist. I’m not taking any chances.”

He grinned. “That’s fine. You’ll have to show me how to put one on tonight.”

Her face burned. “That... is doable.”

Something seemed to make him hesitate. “If... well, will my tendrils make it hard—”

She released immediately that he was trying to be considerate towards her since she was almost molested by those demonic Cthulhu wannabees. “Oh! No. I know I asked you earlier if you were their cousin, but you look nothing like them. Plus, it only lifted me for a second. You brought me back down immediately. You even used yours to save me. I won’t be bothered at all.” She hugged him and kissed his cheek. “Thank you for thinking of me.”

He wrapped his powerful arms around her. “Always.”

“And Kyle?”

“Yeah?”

“If I don’t start my fucking period in the next few days, I’m going to fucking murder your ass.”

He laughed deeply, sending vibrations through her chest. “Hanna, if you had my baby, I’m sure my entire race would celebrate you as some kind of impossible goddess.”

She laughed. “Come on. Let’s collect some of my things to bring to your room.”

She grabbed a mostly intact backpack and tossed out all her books, then replaced the contents with some of her clothes.

***

Kyle rummaged around for things that his sister might want to bring and came to one of the broken drawers in her nightstand. He paused when he noticed the open box of condoms. It seemed like a couple of them had been removed from the package and, after a quick count, he confirmed this. His hand shook. “Um, Hanna. Can you explain where these three condoms went?”

“Oh, that.”

“Hanna.” He gave her the most serious look he could.

She laughed and opened up a side pocket of her backpack to show him where she kept them. “Oh Kyle. Don’t you know that condemns are useless unless you have them on you? Besides, I was mostly carrying them around to hand out to people who I thought might need one. Too many people around here have unprotected sex.”

He relaxed, then grinned. “I’m glad I know they’re there. But, Hanna, if we’re going to use these from now on, then we’re definitely going to need a bigger box.” He held up the box of condoms and started walking to his room, Hanna hot on his heels. When I glanced back, he noticed her face had become bright red but she looked eager.