~~~

Amanda didn't like herself sometimes.

Not always. Not even usually.

Just sometimes.

Sophie had once told her poor self-esteem was for the ugly and the dumb. By that admittedly flawed metric, Amanda should have no issues with herself. Her grades never once failed to impress, and while she wasn't a beauty queen—Sophie was the closest they had to that as her mother had made her participate in several pageants as a kid—Amanda would never call herself ugly. Even without counting Sophie's backhanded compliments and Kate's real ones, Amanda had caught enough boys staring at her to know she was somewhat appealing.

So why was it so hard to be just a little bold?

Valerie wasn't some big, burly security guard. She was nice! Valerie had been there to help Amanda every single day of her internship! When the copier broke down. When she was learning the filing system. When she still didn’t know which office was which. Never once did Valerie get annoyed by Amanda's questions but always provided her with detailed easy-to-understand explanations instead.

So what exactly was so hard about asking Valerie for Tim's phone number? Why did the idea of doing so make her feel so horribly awkward?

Amanda sighed, her breath fogging up the subway car window. It didn't matter. There was nothing to see there other than darkness. Darkness was nice, soothing, and non-judgy. It didn't matter if there was anything there. As long as you couldn't see it, it might as well not exist.

If she tilted her head in just the right way, Amanda would probably be able to see her reflection, but she chose not to do it. Amanda was good at choosing not to do things. It was the opposite she had a problem with.

In her head, Amanda had known giving Tim a call was absolutely the proper thing to do. It was showing basic concern, something people all over the world did every single day. More importantly, not that she wanted to admit it, it was what she wanted to do.

Despite that, she stood in front of Valerie's desk for several awkward seconds before deciding not to do the thing she wanted to do. She couldn't take one measly step out of the beaten path.

Amanda really frustrated herself sometimes.

As the subway reached the next station, countless people rushed in and out. They were done working for the day and eager to get home. This was simply another part of their routine. Routine was good. Routine was reliable. It was comforting. It required minimal risks yet kept reaping rewards.

If only everything could be achieved by following a single routine.

Amanda morosely let her head fall against the window. Then she thought of all the people who had already done the same thing throughout the day and immediately sat straight.

She also inched away from the window. For good measure.

By the time the subway reached Waynesville Station, Amanda wanted nothing more than to change clothes and go running. Uncomfortable, moody thoughts never bothered her while running. It was just her, the road and the wind against her skin.

She couldn't-

"WAIT!"

The shout tore through the subway platform, halting several people in their tracks. A man stumbled down the electric stairs, just barely avoiding falling on his face. His clothes were in tatters, and he looked as if he had spent all day rolling around in the dirt. One could barely make out his pale skin under all the filth. Many people immediately turned away, not wanting to see such an ugly wretch.

"Tristan!" The man said, his eyes so wide Amanda wouldn't have been surprised if they popped out of his skull. "Tristan!"

He was walking right towards her.

At first, Amanda thought whoever the man was looking for just happened to be in her general direction. However, as his eyes never once wavered from her despite his bumbling steps, the uncomfortable truth became undeniable.

Had she wanted to, Amanda could have easily gotten out of the man's way. He was slow, barely coordinated. He'd probably fall on his face if she kept out of his reach long enough.

She didn't.

Even though it should have been easy. Even though there was no reason for her to want to be remotely close to the dirty homeless guy, something rooted her to the spot.

"It's you! It's really you! " The man laughed hysterically as he put his hands on her shoulders to keep himself steady. His breath smelled of sewage. "I'm on time! I'm just in time!"

His laughter gave way to a hacking cough. A tear slid down his cheek.

"Listen!" he said, shaking her shoulders with urgency. Amanda tried to shake off his grip, but it was much stronger than she'd expected from someone who looked like a stiff breeze could knock him over. "I don't have much time! You can't go there today! You told me so!"

"What? What are you talking about?! Don't go where?"

Amanda wondered why no one was trying to get this crazy man off her. Was the situation so bizarre that everyone else could only stare?

Or were they just averting their eyes? Too scared to step out of their comfort zone?

"Your mother's office!" The man said, his face growing even closer to hers. His breath made her want to throw up. "You can't go there today. I know you want to visit her, but you can't! Remember that! Even if you remember nothing else about this! Please! Remember that! Please! Stay away from your mother!"

Amanda wanted to cry. Her mother? How was this about her?

"But I never planned on visiting her today!"

She hadn't visited her mother in over a year.

"But you told me…" The man trailed off, and Amanda was struck by how young he looked. "You told me and… I caught you on time… I caught you and…"

He let go of her as if she was on fire.

"Nonono," he muttered, head shaking as he backed away. "Then this was…You weren't leaving. You were returning. If I hadn't… If I hadn't..." His gaze snapped to her. His eyes glowed silver as he tried to reach out to her with desperate need. "You can't remember! Please, don't remember this! You.. can...not…"

He never reached her.

Color drained away from his body as it crumbled into grains of sand. Amanda watched in horror as what became of the man was scattered to the four winds.

In one second, all those watching forgot about it.

Even the security cameras forgot about it.

It was as if he had never been there.

Amanda blinked, finding herself standing in the middle of the subway platform. She had been about to go back home, but she didn't feel like doing that anymore for some reason. Going home. Changing. Running. That was just more of the same. It was the same routine she followed almost every day.

She had no problems with it.

She liked it.

But not today.

Today was… frustrating. If she did the same as usual now, wasn't she just hiding?

She frowned.

Maybe... Maybe she needed to step out of her comfort zone for a bit.

~~~

Walters Tower wasn't stupidly huge like The Blade. Nothing in Port Stanley was. However, it was still a decently tall building in Roger Point, which was where all the important buildings in the city were.

Except for The Disk, but that was a special case because The Disk wasn’t even in the city.

Regardless, stepping into Walters Tower was like stepping into the past. Amanda greeted the security guard—the same one that had worked there for six years—with a wave and smile that disappeared as soon as she was inside the elevator. Unlike with Regum Tower, there was no need for special IDs here. Walters Tower had two accounting firms, three law firms, one bank, a spa, and many other things outsiders visited regularly.

When Amanda had been a kid, her mom had often brought her here. Even back then, both her parents had been busy people. Her mother worked in the nicer building so having Amanda accompany her had been the obvious choice. Walters Tower even had a nursery, though it had only existed for about five years now.

Amanda had never asked, but she was pretty sure The Blade had a nursery as well.

At this point, the surprise would be if there was anything that building didn't have.

"Welcome to Hobbes & Smith!" The receptionist greeted Amanda as soon as her feet touched the carpeted floors of the thirtieth floor. Amanda didn't recall seeing her before, so she had probably been working here for less than two years. "How may I help you?"

"Good afternoon. I'm here to see Gloria Collins. I am her daughter."

The receptionist’s smile grew stiff with hesitation, unsure whether she should take Amanda at her word or not. Luckily, she didn't have to make a choice.

"Amy!" A stout woman with dark hair and a big smile waved at her from down the hall. She was Mrs. Meadows, her mother's secretary for as long as Amanda could remember. "It's been so long!"

"Hi, Mrs. Meadows!" Amanda smiled as the woman caught her in a big hug. Mrs. Meadows always gave good hugs. "Just dropping by to visit my mother."

"Oh! She's going to be so happy! Come in! Come in! Don't worry, Gladys. I'll take care of her," she told the receptionist as she led Amanda inside.

Things hadn't changed much since the last time Amanda had been here. Glass doors and walls. Bright interiors. Warm colors. Comfortable coaches and potted plants on every corner to add that extra dash of green.

The route Mrs. Meadows was taking, however, was new.

Her mother had a corner office. It was not the biggest office on the floor, but it had a myriad of small advantages. Sunlight always came in at a perfect angle regardless of the time of the day or season. It had the best acoustics. Few people passed by since it was removed from the common area. And so on. Amanda had listened to her mother talk about the subject several times over the years. Ultimately, it all boiled down to the same thing. Her mother loved her office and would never change it.

Yet, Mrs. Meadows was leading her in the completely opposite direction. Her mother's office was on the right side of the building, not the left one.

"Did my mother change offices?" Amanda asked, despite knowing how unlikely that was.

"What? Oh, no. You know her. It's just…" Mrs. Meadows hesitated for a moment. "Your mother is with a client right now. I thought we could grab something from the kitchen while we waited. I think we have some banana muffins. Do you still like banana muffins?"

“I love banana muffins, Mrs. Meadows," Amanda replied without missing a beat, plastering a big, fake smile on her face. "I'll just go wash my hands first. You know how the subway is."

"Ugh, don’t I know it," Mrs. Meadows shook her head in sympathy. "Go, dear. I'll get us some muffins"

She was so bright and cheerful Amanda instantly felt bad for lying to her.

Not bad enough not to go through with it, however. There was a nervousness in Mrs. Meadows she really didn't like. As soon as Mrs. Meadows wasn't looking at her, Amanda made a beeline for her mother's office.

It wasn't that Amanda believed Mrs. Meadows was lying or anything like that. The opposite, in fact. Her mother being with a client made sense. Complete and perfect sense. It wasn't as if Amanda had told her she'd be dropping by. Why wouldn’t her mother be with a client?

Her mother was with a client. Her mother was always with a client. Her clients saw her more than Amanda ever did. That was normal, so normal it wasn't worth getting angry at. Not that Amanda was angry. Perish the thought. Her hands weren't balled into little fists. Her teeth were not gnashing against each other. Her steps were not quickly becoming loud stomps as she sped towards her mother's office. Towards the woman who wasn't making any time for her.

Amanda had no idea why she suddenly burst into the room without bothering to knock.

No idea at all.

"Amanda?"

It was the most damnable thing. As soon as Amanda stepped into the room, all the fire in her gut suddenly left her. The bold Amanda who did things was nowhere to be found. In her place was regular Amanda, who had no idea what to do. She just stood there with a dumb look on her face, taking in everything in front of her.

Her mother was standing with her palms flat against her desk as if she had just slammed them against it. Her eyes were narrowed. Her lips were pulled back and a light tremor ran through her body. A stranger would say she was trembling with rage.

Amanda had never seen her look so scared.

"Is this your daughter, Gloria?"

The question was asked in a soothing, grandfatherly voice that would not feel out of place in the opening narration of a Christmas movie.

It made Amanda want to hurl.

"Ah, yes, yes, I see the resemblance," the client said. He was a middle-aged man with salt-and-pepper hair that was more salt than pepper. Despite that, his face had very few wrinkles. Unsurprising, considering he was most likely an Exceed. He smiled at Amanda. "You must be very proud of your mother. She is one of the best in the business."

"The best," Amanda corrected him. It was an automatic response.

The old man's smile widened.

"Indeed." He sent a glance her mother's way. "I've lost count of how many times your mother has helped me over the years. It's a shame Exceed trials are kept out of the public eye, or else your mother would be quite famous already. Still, there are some benefits to anonymity."

"Amanda," her mother said through gritted teeth, never taking her eyes off the old man. "Why don't you go wait outside?"

"Oh, there's no need." The old man raised his hand. "Don't let me keep you from your daughter. Lord knows my own kids rarely call these days. Too old to talk with their old man now. Besides, we already concluded our business, haven't we?"

Amanda had seen her mom in court several times before, but she had never once seen her as uncomfortable as she was under this man's gaze.

"Yes... we have."

"Good. I expect to receive those files soon then." He inclined his head to them before putting on a hat. "Good day to you both."

The silence his exit left was defeating. Mother and daughter stood in place, unsure of what to say.

In the end, neither mother nor daughter was the first to fill the void.

"Gloria!" Mrs. Meadows said as she came rushing to the door, panting heavily. "I am sorry! I..."

She trailed off as she took in the gloomy mood of the room.

"Oh."

"Bring us some coffee, Jane," her mother said, schooling her features with ease born from years in the courtroom. "And make sure to close the door."

"Of course," Mrs. Meadows said. As soon as she left, Amanda's mother sat down and let out a tired sigh.

"You should not have come here today," her mother told her, fixing her gray eyes on Amanda. Much like her straight black hair, it was one of her mother's many features she had not inherited, something Amanda often lamented. Despite being in her forties and wearing a conservative business suit, her mother was noticeably better-looking than women half her age.

Even Sophie agreed with that.

"You should have been home more often then," Amanda fired back, her mouth moving before she could think twice about it.

Her mother did not reply. She took the hit for what it was, something Amanda had never once expected of her.

"That man," Amanda said once the silence started dragging on, "he asked for files... Does that mean...?"

"Don't!" Her mother said. "Don't..."

It was too late. Amanda had noticed too much already. Her brain was hard at work putting everything together. The past months were suddenly cast in a different light.

Her mother sighed.

“I think," she said, motioning Amanda to sit in front of her. "It is time we talked."

Amanda gulped.

"Okay... Let's talk.”

~~~

Amanda spent two hours talking to her mother, and then several more talking to her father once they got home.

In hindsight, Amanda should have put all the pieces together sooner.

"It all began a few years ago. Mr. Robards's case was fairly straightforward."

Her mother worked on Exceed cases. Not dangerous, of course. Quite the opposite. Most of her clients were normal people who just happened to be caught in unfortunate circumstances. Exceedings could happen at the oddest times and rarely cared for how they inconvenienced others.

"He had recently Exceeded. His power had caused a few injuries, so he sought me out to represent him. Despite how things are now, I truly believe what happened back then was a simple accident."

Most Exceeds were normal people who happened to have powers.

Some, however, were heroes.

"I didn't see him again until years later.”

Others were villains.

"He wanted information about my clients. I told him no. He threatened me. I told him I'd report him to CHEM.”

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

“Then he showed me a picture of you at school.”

Such a stupid, idiotic child!

Everything made sense now. The long hours. The lack of contact. The way her parents suddenly had to help each other's cases all the time. Her parents had been keeping her in the dark all this time, and not without good reason.

Her parents were being threatened by an Exceed with money and connections. If they tried to report him to the authorities, he would find a way to kill one of them, most likely her.

There was nothing that could be done

Yet, when Amanda went into The Blade the following day, she marched right to the security guards and asked them if Mr. Gerald was in his office. She approached the head of security of one of the most powerful corporations in the entire world, a company whose security she knew studied Exceeds and anti-Exceed measures, and spoke to him without stuttering or giggling or blushing

"I think bad people are threatening my family."

"Tell me more."

Amanda did.

~~~