It was not a good morning. I couldn’t sleep, and when I can’t sleep, I start typing, trying to put everything that’s going on together. If only I'd waited a day.

I spent two hours walking down country roads with a crust of vomited blood on my sleeves. My condition was worsening, or at least it wasn’t improving, and I can’t go a week with a hole in my stomach.

I decided I'd have just one more meal before calling the Ints in. There was bacon at my moms, all I was thinking is that it had to be eaten before it went out of date. Only after that very pressing matter had been dealt with would I make the call to Bob; only then would I finally accept the double-edged blade that is medical attention.

I knew they would use Bob to get to me. I was thinking that they’d wait for my call and then in a show of mock support send a whole team out here. I thought, maybe things could be settled amicably, though probably not. I told myself, well, I managed to smash the Mothman’s head open in this condition. I’m sure I could work something out.

That’s not exactly how things went, however. When I made it into town, I didn’t need to see people's faces to know I wasn’t going to get overlooked.

I could glance at any second wall and see either a wanted sign or a mural. I didn’t know what to make of it at first, not just the attention, but the divide. I realised pretty soon that it was just the government that hated me, the cops were doing everything in their power to catch me, they messaged every cell number in the country, again with the same artists interpretation (that is strangely flattering) as was used on the wanted posters.

No bounty, just a friendly reminder every five fucking minutes at every corner.

They treat it like I'm some outlaw from the wild west, just because I confessed to murder. I guess like with famous pirates or gun man, the people can’t make up their minds. On one hand they, rightfully, love the system. They’ve got wifi, plumbing, and more food than they know what to do with. On the other hand, I seem to solve problems in seconds, problems that the Garda would spend days on, or never get started on. Gossip of the month John Ireland has evolved into Shamrock, who knows what that is!

People cross the road when they see me coming. People look out of their car window when they’re driving past. Sometimes a police car would show up. That’s an unpleasant experience for everybody.

When I was close to home, I hopped onto the roof tops, nearly tumbling off the slants as I slowly got back into it. I didn’t try out any fancy parkour moves, I just jumped with laboured breath. It wasn’t a good morning, but I was hoping it’d be a good day. The weather could go either way, The sky was bright blue with white-grey clouds creeping in from the west. The chill wind tickled my side as I slowed at a neighbouring house.

I picked up a small cardboard box I'd left there, avoiding some bird poo on the lid and getting out some clothes.

I skipped the shirt and just flung on a raincoat and wide jeans, before rolling off the roof. I had to be careful, where before I could partially rely on the fact that the people around here were all in the first world, ignorance effect is starting to fail me. I guess I'd call them second-ish worlders. Still, I wasn’t concerned. It was a Tuesday, most people would be at work, including my mum. I went in through the back just to be safe. I looped around the house and crawled in through the kitchen window; it was broken, the lock on it stuck.

I narrowly avoided jerking my sore spot into the tap as I fell in and skirted by the fridge. I took out the bacon turned on the grill, and threw it in. While it was cooking, I went to the bathroom and washed my face. I probably stunk to high hell, but I didn’t feel like getting a shower. I lifted my jacket up to look myself over, half grimacing.

To think that a week ago I was proud of this body. There was a little scarification on my ribs, at least where they weren’t black purple. I don’t know if they were just horribly bruised or if necrosis had set in. My midsection has scarred heavily, a hole dotted in the middle of it with sickly blue lines growing from it. I let my jacket fall, wiped the water off my red face, and got back to the bacon.

I flipped it, buttered some toast, and then switched off the grill.

The doorbell rang.

I walked over to the door, as if it was any other day.

I side eyed through the window, not seeing any body, there wasn’t a car clearly parked outside.

The doorbell rang again.

I walked away. It was probably the tax man, and I was the last person he needed to see at my mother’s door.

Then another sound came from the door, just behind it.

“Emmett!” it shouted, and my head turned. Mullet and Gurl were the only people around who knew where I lived. I told both of them to go to the Mountain if there was trouble, but if they had seen me, or were desperate, they might have come here instead.

Against years of being told not to go near the door if I didn’t know who it was, I went to it.

I unlocked it, opening it just an inch.

In that moment, I felt like I was seeing the world from behind a screen.

Bob and Dr Attrition were on my steps, right up to the door.

There was nothing I could say to them. After all, I was Emmett. These people didn’t know Emmett.

Bob pressed his hand against the door and walked in, grabbing my shoulder with one hand. I stumbled back.

“Ah, kid! I’m sorry we’ve gotta meet like this again. We just barely caught the trail of that monster. Christ, it really did a number on you!”

I just blinked back.

The doctor walked right in; her shadowy eyes scanned all over the place. She just... she just walked right into my living room.

My jaw dropped. I didn’t even register that she had a small can of rebirthing foam. I was entirely focused on how easily she had just... She was looking at me mum’s coffee table, then at the tv.

Bob continued, “Listen kid, I get your surprised, but let’s get you patched up huh?”

I really felt his hand on my shoulder then.

“Why?”

The cleaner seemed just as confused by my weak little question is I was in that moment.

He tried for a laugh. It sounded horrible in that now shrinking space, “Come on, kid. I came as soon as I saw that video. Well, honestly, there’s more to it than that, but one thing at a time, huh?”

Bob, on his own, I might have allowed, on my terms-

I looked at the doctor. She met my weak gaze with her dark eyes. I choked, “How?”

I was trying to think, some part of me was at least. The effort was ruined by the greater part of me.

Mullet had just found out, was this some sort of retribution? If just one or two people found out, it ruined the whole thing? That was the feeling in my chest, the cry in my head was for it to just end.

I backed into the wall, one foot at a time.

I don’t know what Bob was saying or thinking then, all I know is that the door closed, and the room darkened. They settled themselves on my sofa.

It felt like time was repeating, stuck, just like the air in my lungs. I looked up and down from my feet, before finally fixing my glare on them.

I spoke through gritted teeth. “Why?”

Dr Attrition answered and I braced myself against every word. “I’m sorry, Emmett. I understand your... position,” she shifted her foot away from an empty bottle of vodka, “but there was no time to beat around the bush. You’re no fool. Our goal was to approach you in an amicable manner, to properly start our relationship with you. I personally apologise for any stress we’ve caused you, but...”

I let her say her excuse, but I didn’t listen. I gripped my ribs; the room made me sick.

“No,” I panted, “I need- I need you out of here.”

I reached for the door, twisting the handle in a crack, and throwing it open.

“Kid-” Bob was cut off by the shrink, “Please Emmett, sit down for a second, let’s just talk-”

I threw a fist out the doorway, screaming “OUT!”

The doctor stood and went. Bob fell after her and I bolted into the house.

I has barely kept together in front of them, they weren’t more than a foot out of the house when I started grabbing at my face. I went to my room hyper ventilating; the walls were shrinking but the halls seemed to grow. I got there in a second, but it felt like a screeching eternity.

My mask, there had to be one somewhere. The bandana with the eye holes in it, it had to be here somewhere.

I looked for it, though I knew it was at the cave.

If I could just put a mask on, go out there and show them my scars, they might just forget about all this- if I could just make them see Shamrock-

I paced back and forth, there was nothing I could do now. I was in utter shock.

Am I done?

I remembered every time I said I didn’t have anyone to protect with this secret identity thing. If they involve my mum, in this hell, if they threaten her-

What if they use this as black mail? What if Clover finds out?

I had to sort them out, I had to at least seem like an opponent.

I was beginning to gain some clarity; I was starting to realise how pathetic I was.

How could I crumple so easily?

I shivered back to the front door. Looking at their faces without fabric over my eyes was uncanny. I could see blemishes in their skin. When Bob looked at me, I looked down.

“Fine. Better inside.”

I left the door open and sat down on the sofa.

Bob started; the doctor wordlessly stopped him. My focus was solely on her.

“How,” I stuttered, “How did you find me?”

She moved a chair around, sitting adjacent from me.

“I lied to you. Twice, if my memory is more trustworthy than myself.”

I manned up, glaring into her eyes. They were impassive.

“I thought it best to start off with the worst of it. Yes, Emmett, I poked around in your mind. I’m a researcher, a curious creature, it was imperative for me to delve into your hidden life to find out who you were, and thus your motus operandi.”

She smiled, “It seems you put what I told you to use. Perhaps... you used it too much. Stared to long into the abyss, as Nietzsche might say.”

I straightened, “I don’t need you to tell me what’s going on in my life. I don’t need you watching my mum’s house, or...”

Bob filled the silence tried to comfort me, “It’s only us, kid. No one else knows. This isn’t on the record.”

“That being said,” the doctor interjected, “Regardless of whether you consent, our associates will make moves.”

“Doc,” Bob groaned, “that sounds like a threat. Kid, we aren’t here to hurt you. This isn’t even an international operation, we’re just her to oversee the relation between the two parties.”

I looked at him then. It had been months since I last saw his face. It was as I remembered, except, he couldn’t look me in the eye.

“What’s that mean? I swear to fuck, if I don’t start getting some answers-”

“Axel Right is interested in cohabiting this territory with you. Of course, our organisation is impartial, to show our aforementioned amity, we’re offering you this-”

She held the canister out. I could see it was heavy in her hands. “I can perform a quick medical evaluation, if I find there’s any serious trauma, you are welcome to return to our base of operations in Dublin.”

I knew how bad it was. Thanks to Gurl. If they were going to destroy my life, I wouldn’t let them worm their way into Gurl’s-

“I’m sure your friend has made her own evaluation, but without the proper medical knowledge and an understanding of your durability-”

“Nah,” I stopped her from going on, at this point she was just saying, ‘we know everything’, “I don’t want your help.” I gestured, “Bob can do it just fine.”

The cleaner laughed at the idea, “Kid, I’m crap at that stuff, the doc is a doctor.”

I was about to snap, when she said, “Yes, that would be just fine. I understand that I, personally, have breached your trust. I want things to go smoothly between us Emmett, I really do.”

I looked down at my feet. I felt my fantasies crashing around me. It was slow yet sudden. I felt my own helplessness, true helplessness. I’d gotten stronger, I had money to eat whatever I wanted, I had grown more confidant. I was still me, however. I’m still me. In the end, had anything really changed? Wasn't I just rearranging the furniture while never breaking out of the cage?

I could run away, I could escape at any time and abandon everything, find a way to start again, a new identity, a new hero.

I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I couldn’t bring myself to look Attrition in the eyes, “It’s Shamrock.”

It wasn’t right to call myself that anymore, the suit didn’t fit against the person I'd become, who I was in the core. Worse than the itching on my skin was how that name sounded on her tongue.

I brought my eyes up, stiffened my jaw, and resisted.

I’ll stand.

She didn’t make eye contact with me, she just stared through me. “Alright, Shamrock. Bob, give him Mr Right’s location as well as ours. I’ll be waiting outside.”

With that, she shimmed her way out as if the house had grown any smaller.

I exhaled at the sight of her back.

Bob was looking after her as well, wordlessly. He fidgeted with the canister she’d left in his hands.

“Let’s get this over with.”

I didn’t bother unzipping my coat, I just tossed it off.

“Uh,” Bob was lost here, “Can you turn on the light? It make things easier for me.”

I stood with some trouble and went to the lamp in the corner, “The main light doesn’t work. Neither my mum or me can be bothered to change it.”

“Oh.” He looked up then all around. I felt the need to explain, to excuse myself. No, to make up an excuse. “My mum’s at work most of the time. I’m only here half the time, less than half now. You’ve been watching me. I don’t stay here anymore. I don’t tell her about anything.”

I saw around. “She’s worried. She tries to find ways to cope- her ways of coping.”

He nodded along but his eyes weren’t as I remembered them. Last time I saw him, he was agonising over the fact he hadn’t helped me in Babel. I... honestly don’t know if he felt the same way now, seeing me beat up, living in shit.

“Right. Alright kid, let’s just fix you up, ok?”

My face drooped a little. I wanted him to ignore all of this, but when he tried to do just that it didn’t feel right at all.

I don’t know what I wanted, what I expected.

“Listen, I’m not bein’ funny when I saw this, you need to get your head checked kid.”

I swallowed tears, fear, everything but my pride, “No. I’m fine.”

“I can’t fix any head trauma you’ve got. Hell, I can hardly get at that wound in your stomach.”

“You want it opened?”

He was taken back, by now his senses were a mile gone. “What?”

I took a finger to it, “I can control my durability now, if you give me a second to focus up, then I can rip my gut open.”

He blurted out, “Are you crazy?”

My face felt like a mismatched puzzle as I looked up to him. “Kid, you’re not gonna be able to ‘focus’ goring-” He paused. “Kid, let’s get out of here. Come on, you know us, we’re your friends.”

I curled a fist, then tried to let it go, “I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe you're too naïve or stupid to get it, or maybe, your smarter, more cunning than I ever guessed. Do you believe- expect me to believe that an organisation with correspondents around the globe didn’t notice a monster leave the Jungle Beast?”

“We didn’t... the doc wouldn’t-”

“She fucken would. A million times she fucken would. She prodded around in my brain! If that’s how she treats her patients, well, I'm sure she treats her enemies a hell of a lot worse.”

He was matching my tone now, with just a hint of exasperation, “Christ, what are you talken about? Enemies? You are a kid!” It took him some energy to say, “This isn’t some kind of movie. We’re not some evil organisation. We’re people. WE don’t want anything from you!”

I asked him, though I don’t think he got my meaning, “Then why are you here?”

“Because Right is here. Right want’s this place. You know he’s not here to drill for oil, or mine for aluminium- damn it kid, he’s holding a press conference tonight. Let us help you, then hear it straight from the horse’s mouth.”

I panted for a moment. What the hell was I doing? I was screwing everything up, I could have survived this without any hassle, worked some sort of deal out with Axel and strengthened my relationship with the Ints. The Mountain was my target, the Mountain. I was being irrational.

“I’ll go. I want a mask though. Shamrock can’t be seen there.”

I have never seen such relief exit a man, only for them to still wear their anxiety so plain on their face.

“Yeah. The cops-” he thought about it, “did you really kill someone?”

I thought it over. Shamrock killed him. Emmett was his victim.

“A human trafficker died. Do you see anybody bawling their eyes out?” What the hell, I thought. Why can’t I ever just fly straight? All these hoops and hurdles and lies. I don’t think I like who I'm becoming.

Bob didn’t say anything more. What could he say?

.

.

.

It was in Tralee, this press conference of Axel’s, at some university of technology I didn’t know was in town. It was up north, close to where Clover lived, out of the way from all of my patrols, not that I was really doing that any more.

They had a full campus; they’ve even got a whole park to themselves. I don’t think about University, if I ever ended up in a place like this, I'd stick out like a sore thumb. You can guess how I felt in the the middle of a lecture hall wearing a full suit of the Int’s guard armour. The room was packed. Attrition had commented that there were fewer people present than she’d anticipated, but there must have been something close to half a thousand squeezed in. Some of them I recognised from the news, BBC, RTE, reporters. Others I recognised from elsewhere.

Hunter the exterminator from Babel was sitting just in front of me, messing with his hair and checking his watch as if this was all a bother for him. More worryingly, Ali, the main Unit who held the Channeler back for hours was here. If worst came to pass, then he’d be the second biggest issue. Number one was yet to be seen.

I was beginning to feel this was a mistake. I was tightly packed in so if the Ints decided to take me out the odds were in their favour. I think the rebirthing fluid worked. It healed my ribs up, though I can’t be certain whether my stomach had sealed properly. I have to check in with Gurl, somehow.

In my paranoia I overlooked two key reasons why the Ints wouldn’t take me out here. There were cameras. They wouldn’t execute me on television, especially not with this budding ‘weird zone’. They’d want to keep public opinion high, and the public loved me.

Another reason was Clover. The Mountain had pulled out of Ireland, but that didn’t mean she had. Recently Clover’s been building a record when it comes to disobeying or lying to the greater Mountain for her on personal desires. There’s also the fact that, by eliminating me, they might reveal my identity to the public. With that, they’d be killing two of her friends at once, unknowingly.

Depending on how much Attrition knew, both issues could have been dealt with.

If she understands the public mind better than me, she can manipulate them just as she’s done with me. If she learned anything about Saoirse/Clover while I was under her care, then...

I just don’t want to think about that.

In the lecture hall, people were beginning to get restless, and I was one of them.

When I thought about it, I didn’t know much about Axel, apart from the fact he royal pissed off five Units, one god, who knows how many people. That he dated Charlie and that he and Clover...

I really didn’t want to think about that.

I didn’t think much of his robots for all his bragging, not anymore at least. I could break metal, and break them with little restraint seeing as their limbs and chassis could be rebuilt.

Cameras begun flashing, and that’s when I knew he was here.

Axel Right came in through the fire exit, approaching the central podium, a screen behind him showing his company logo, his name in a stylised font. He didn’t look like I remembered him. He’d traded his graphic t-shirt for a pink suit, one that seemed a little too big for him around the arms. His hair was tied back in a bun, and with every step he took, there was a slight posturing to him.

The crowd stated to clap as he made it to the mic. Instead of speaking, he put his finger up, a gesture that we took as ‘silence’.

I was slightly alarmed by what walked through the door after him. A pair of effeminate legs, unconnected to any central body strutted out. They at first reminded me of the living legs, but there was something in the way the moved that was more... robotic. Next, a torso clambered after it, it’s fingers sort of flicking it across the ground in a golden sheen. It climbed onto the legs, snapping in place.

After that, a blank mannequin head lifelessly glided across the floor, coming into the hands of the crouched figure. It raised it’s head, placing it atop the shoulders, cracking like a stiff neck.

After a second, personality suddenly entered the mannequin. Before it was a dead husk resembling the bare minimum of a woman's shape with a few clear hinges and points of articulation. Some sort of material spewed from some unseen crevices in the body, covering the body in a flowing blue dress, with a wave pattern at the bottom. Synthetic hair spun out of it’s head, styling in an instant.

Eyes and lips began to glow on its face. It was a sort of visual illusion, holographic maybe, when you looked at it from a different angle it changed to look three dimensional

It was a feat of engineering, and the crowd ate the show up. The Ints weren’t so impressed by it, but I was more impressed than my mask let on. All I'd seen of his machines were weapons of war or his dogs.

“This is our newly premiering model,” Axel said professionally, “Our company, began with robotics, it’s my passion. I feel it’s only right to start this show with a taste of our robotics division as well.”

His eyes traced back and forth between the cameras, a smile kept reasonably slim, “This is our gynomorph series, and it is a series. As you just saw, it will be operated and be sold separately as legs, torso, and head, all at a very affordable consumer price, especially for this model. Within the head piece, which is currently marketed at-”

He waited for the slide to show on the screen behind him, “-fifty thousand euros! This may seem like a high price, but the Gynomorph head’s processor is equipped with the highest computational processor, with a couple hundred million computations a second, way more than what is currently on the market. It can be attached to your watch or smartphone wirelessly through Bluetooth or for a smoother experience, through the Right app.”

“Yeah, well, the rest of me is still expensive as Sam Hell,” the crowd turned to the southern tang of the robot.

Axel smiled, “Well, even with the price, the full Gynomorph experience is worth it if you're looking for something more than a robot, she’s got... personality,” the crowd laughed along, “The Gynomorph is perfect for chores, of course there’s the old school stuff, carrying boxes, making deliveries, and providing answers from the internet, it is equipped with problem solving software as well as articulated prompt responses. When given clear instructions, the Gynomorph will use context clues to complete tasks for you.”

“Hey, Claribell, go screw yourself.”

The robot stood on one leg and started spinning around on the tip of its toe like a ballerina. “Is this what you meant.”

He nodded curtly, “It’s better than the alternative.” The crowd laughed, though this time it sounded more laid back.

“I can see we have a couple older folks in the audience. Your grandchildren might say that high tech isn’t for you, but I say it’s for everyone. The gynomorph makes excellent conversation, and it is capable of making medical assessments as well as psychological. All you need to do is tell her you’re, say, epileptic. The Gynomorph will edit movies and shows and remove in triggering content in real time. It is also capable of performing CPR-”

“’cept for mouth-to-mouth ‘a course. Though I can smooch just fine.” It did a kissy face, and Axel played into the awkwardness, “Like I said. Personality.”

“The main objective of the Gynomorph is to give the customer more time for creative and cultural endeavours, while simultaneously providing aid for such activities. Our organisation’s goals have always been humanitarian. That’s the principle I founded this company on with the late Stan Berwick. That brings me to the next part of my little exhibition. I’m- ahem- We’re moving to Ireland!”

Camera’s flashed as he spread his arms, the bot smiled, and the screen showed the island with the name Right stamped on it.

“Most of our consumers are in Dubai, so why not move closer? You might be asking, why Ireland? I’m sure you’re all very aware of the rise in young people choosing tech-based careers, which leads to many of this country's best and brightest migrating to America or London for work. The economy is starved. As I’ve said many, many times, humanity is at the centre of everything we do.”

The Gynomorph coughed, as the screen changed to show Right corp oil rigs.

“Uh, yes. Due to the interferences of eco-terrorists, our corporation is most commonly viewed in a negative light due to our non-renewable resourcing division. Here’s what they don’t show you-”

The slide changed, “The funding we’ve put into hospitals around the globe, as well as charitable subsidiarise that make sure that gas gets to the people who need it most during winter. Oh, and more recently we’ve made the leap to renewable energy production,” windmills flashed on screen, at sea and in the hills, “Our current projection for carbon neutrality is 2026. We’re set to pay off the carbon footprint left by our robotics division by 2027. We will do this by providing clean energy to our consumers, ensuring that we pay back the communities closest to us. In time I personally hope to start many schools like Kerry MTU across the country, and internationally.”

He wandered off the stage, mic in his hand, gliding up the aisles. “You might have some concerns, well intentioned anxieties. There’s a lot going on in this country. A lot of division, restlessness. At Right corp we don’t just focus on the nebulous future like so many companies, we’re in invested in current issues, the pressing matters that need to be attended to before it’s too late.”

“I’ve been in talks with the Garda on a matter that’s very prevalent within this country, one that I have had direct involvement in before. That’s right-”

The screen changed to an image of me from Black hole.

“Shamrock. Despite the protests of the police, we at Right corp are very interested in, for a lack of a better term, supporting this young entrepreneurial service. The commissioner cannot deny this man’s efficacy. I’m sure you’ve all seen the footage of ‘Black hole’, and more recently, there was a bust at Halloween in this very town. What you might not know is that he was operating in the Kerry area almost a year before now. Remember that satellite that crashed into town back in February?”

The screen flickered to a photo of me from a low angle, taken by one of his dogs I'm guessing, at the foot of some rubble.

“That’s him, clawing through the wreckage. I asked the heads of the garda what possible alternative motivation could he have for doing this? Was he stealing money here? Was he looking for, as his detractor's narrative would have, a victim to brutalise?”

The screen moved to a far worse shot, one that showed me as little more than a green silhouette in a cloud. It zoomed, and you could just make out that there was a person over my shoulders.

“Nobody knew who he was. I sure didn’t. That didn’t stop him from saving lives. From saving my life. Something that, for a lack of a better term of phrase, I am eternally grateful for.”

The Gynomorph’s synthetic elements shifted in colour and shape, generating a river dance outfit with my shade of green. The shape of it’s face shifted to the same colour, the eyes going white like my mask, with a green eye shadow around it.

“The worlds brimming with chaos. The desolation of Egypt, the recent tsunamis in the Philippians, the fires in America. Things are going good here. Something better is being built, and we at Right corp are going to be here to make it.”

“Oh, and to start of our stay in Ireland, we’re donating seven hundred thousand euros to Kerry MTU.”

That got the crowds attention if nothing else did, he was receiving a standing ovation, basking in it. His whitened teeth were all on show as he looked around the room, “WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!” he shouted over the crowd.

Camera’s begun to flash. His chest was visibly rising and falling with every slow breath.

I stood and clapped with the rest of them. I didn’t know if he was aware of my presence, either way this was to be taken as a message of peace. Maybe if I'd heard it from the morning news I'd have fallen into place better, instead the Ints had to play these games with me, and him.

I can’t tell if he was being entirely dishonest, though I know for a fact that the man standing in front of me wasn’t the real Axel. I'd seen enough to know he wasn’t some activist, hell, anyone who knows what a billionaire is could tell you that.

Thing is, he wasn’t an enemy I could just knockout and be done with it. This was a fight the Mountain was stepping out of after all.

I’d have to play a part, just like Axel was doing now.

Then again, if he wasn’t playing, if he really was trying to do all the things, he was talking about...

I’d just have to wait and see. Wait and hope.