The cabin in the dead wood rattled on its foundation. The putrid stale swamp air was pierced by the screams of a pissed off small electric rotary engine. It sounded like a rabid cougar was on the prowl and was trapped in the garage that rocked. The single plywood door slowly lifted letting the dank smoke escape the beast inside . The light crystal mounted to the front of the bike was revealed cutting through the thick morning fog like a switchblade. The motorcycle's double custom exhausts shook, rattled, and roared.

The rider sitting atop his metal steed was only half human at this point, and that was being generous. He continued to wank the twistgrip using the hook welded to his elbow. Edward was outfitted in human leather chaps, a double rider jacket, and on his good hand a single glove stitched together for him by Dr. Slyman’s wife. She was a black cat named Matilda. Her, and Jarvis waved from behind the window. Outside the Doctor covered his newly acquired classic V-16 crystaillac with a tarp, and rolled stones on the edges. It was too large to fit inside the garage, but in the value of the trade he had come out far on top. .

Last night, when the doctor asked for his age, Edward remembered that his 27th birthday had come and gone in prison. Lucky for him there was a single piece of cake frozen in the icebox, and a makeshift candle of Dr. Slyman's earwax. They had taken a break after the hook had been reattached, but there were still far more procedures left to go. After the candle had been blown the arch welder sparked back on. The doctor welded away on his patient in the backroom the succulent smells of cooking wafted back to them. Matilda was the one who hunted and forged while her husband practiced his medicine. The multiple operations had gone on until the morning, but it all was a success.

When the crows had gathered outside in the dawn the scraps of a feast had greeted them outside. For the first time in months Edward had devoured human flesh again. The fresh caught meal had been composed of an unfortunate store clerk’s liver, swamp onions, broad beans, and a splash of spinal fluid.

“Vroom, VROOOOOOM!” said the bike that zoomed away.

Edward rode with a full stomach, a six string strapped on his back, and a fuse box welded to the outside of his six pack. Whenever his heart was beginning to stop the device would automatically shock him with the hefty electric crystal bank strapped on the back of the bike. He also had a sleeve wound around his good arm with four different tubes of fluid flowing. With the press of one of four buttons he would receive an IV of vitamins shot directly into his veins. The choices were vitamins C,K, D, and liquid cracked crystals (for emergency use only).

Edward pressed a button, and went into introspection. His head ran like a motor with too many thoughts racing, and bouncing through his mind. A long ride was ahead of him, but there was one thing that couldn’t be run away from; the hourglass of his lifetime was running like a stream does after the dam burst. It was a one way trip to Capital City to get his revenge on the man responsible for breaking him, his mother, and probably the kingdom. Killin Hood would be killed, Edward would savor the dish best served cold, and then hopefully he could rest a little easier when it was done.

The bike splashed through the cattails, and ripped at the moss. The shadows ran away from the lights in front, while the rear-view was nothing but dark in the fog. His mortality chased behind him just out of view, but it wouldn’t be long before it caught up.

It was time for the power of music to strangle out the bad thoughts, and shift him back into flow state.The rider inserted a blue terp tape between the handlebars underneath a needle in the red. The part sticking out said “something about the blues” while the ride cymbals and high hats joined in with a slow train beat and a harmonica that sounded like the same thing. A guitar entered via the voodoo scale moaning and crying and giving feedback like a hard living baby. The thick bass strings were slapped into the groove with a thumb droning on.

The locomotion nearby sent a crocodile hiding underwater, and an albatross soaring high over the salt marsh. Water, weeds, and the breeze had turned to vinegar as he barreled towards the edge of the ocean. The clam flats sizzled on the pipes, mud speckled the windshield, and the motorcycle ripped up the bank.

The water cooled engine rapidly accelerated towards 100 miles an hour down a dirt road. The dust was kicked up and spurred into devils that danced alongside the ride. The waves of the red sea crashed to the side blowing fresh air in his remaining hairs. Edward’s mutated skeleton was briefly visible as his heart was kicked into overdrive by sparks of electricity. He glanced out at the vast sea lit by three hot suns in the sky. It looked like something was waving to him from the water with a siren call. He shook his head to the straight road ahead, and when he glanced back what looked like a mermaid had disappeared.

Hours flew by, and the coast was left in the rear view. Sundowns was here as the daylight departed. Night was nigh, and the shadows had closed in all around him. Edward tilted one leg to ground him as an anchoring peg. He cut the engine that sputtered to a stop, and took out his lunch box. The bike sat directly in the center of a four way crossroad, flanked by a wide open desert. He began eating the leftovers chilled with ice. A loud clicking noise could be heard overhead, then the screeching of magma thrusters hauling a heavy load. A drop ship sped past, followed by a much slower airship hauling away a tanker between the two half moons.

“Huh, somebody just got repossessed,” Edward chuckled.

A familiar looking witch had the last laugh. She interrupted him with loud cackles as she escorted the vehicles flying her fancy broom. Edward spit out his lunch on the ground.

“Well.. Well” he said, giving the bike some gas.

He flew forward while the vultures had already gathered around the remains of a heart tossed by the wayside. The pack above him flew off the path of the road, and the bike followed on the ground. A stream of sand flew behind the tires while the bike climbed, then it jumped a sand dune, and flew over five more. Edward crashed to the ground running, splintered apart a cactus, and kept driving as the bike sputtered to keep up with the chase. Isabela’s neck cracked as she turned her head 180 degrees like an owl and glared at the pursuer.

“What!?!” she sputtered upon spotting the hook that she had thought was hung in her workshop.

The broom shook, sputtered, and rolled away from the pack. She diverted course behind an orange formation of hoodoos, vanished around the opening of a fairy chimney, and emerged through the opening in two pinnacles. She extended her wand on a bombing run, while the only thing pulled back was the white wisps of her hair.

“Now my pretty you will die hehe” her voice reverberated throughout the valley amplified over crystal ball.

The fires crackled in her burning crazy eyes as she took aim.

“Boom”.

An explosion blew apart a formation directly in front Edward. The bike's window was cracked by flying rocks. He was temporarily blind, but kept rolling forward at full steam. Just as the dust was settling another fiery projectile was sent at him, but before it hit the tires launched over a rock.

“BOOOOOOM!”

It exploded underneath the bike, launching Edward sideways with it. He fell down a natural formation that was like a series of waves crossed with a halfpipe. The pain seared into his back while he was dragged underneath the bike. He came to a skidding stop at the bottom of the through. Isabela zipped overhead, and then zagged around for the killing blow. The electric machine on the back of the bike was going haywire lighting up Edward with continuous sparks. The bike was smoking, and so was his body.

“Arrrrggr” he groaned, coming alive again, and struggling to free himself from underneath the heavy motor.

“Hehehe” called Isabela, slowly flying into the area.

Her wand crackled with pent up explosive energy, while her eyes scanned for the target. The screen of her crystal ball formed a radar that bleeped, and blooped with every scan. It picked up something traveling quickly behind her rapidly closing the distance. Her ears whistled, and her head slowly turned with the broom. Her bony old fingers twisted her wand to the defensive position while the hairs on her neck shot up in surprise.

“POp!” went the defensive bubble forming around her.

“Clang” went after Edward's hook bounced off with the deflection.

It shot across the sky, and landed somewhere up high. Edward hit the winch on his stump, and pulled himself back onto two wheels. He revved the engine, as the tires left the ground and he was pulled quickly out of the through by the line connected to his arm.

“Bang!”

An explosion blew flames in his face where the hook had anchored, disconnecting it. He flew backwards down the wave as the tires screeched on landing. The hook slammed back onto Edward’s arm while the motorcycle threatened to tip over back at the bottom. Isabela squinted her ancient eyes to lock onto the target. While the light of the double moons temporarily blinded her she shot anyway, and the fireball was sent far off.

“Vrooom!” Revved the motorcycle riding a wave like a surfer.

It jumped over one, and landed effortlessly into another natural half-pipe.

“Hmfff.. Die” hissed Isabela.

She was so tilted on her broom that the next shot flew far over Edward’s head. He tilted his head to the side with a shit eating grin, and winked back in her direction. The explosive shots started flying rapid fire hot and heavy explosions all around. The tip of her wand composed of twisted magic material threatened to burst apart. The bike steamed through a sheet of flames that burned holes in the leather, and bounced off the rider’s scales.

“Pfffb” He further taunted with his tongue stuck out in defiance.

She smiled back at him, sheathed her wand and winked. Edward looked around confused until he turned to see a tanker truck swinging in the air not far off, then looked below and his mouth opened slackjaw. The bike picked up speed as it fell off the steep canyon he had driven right off. The wind whistled, while the butterflies bounced around his stomach, as he shot towards the tiny dried out river that was getting bigger zipping towards a 1000 foot drop.

“One for the money, two for the show” he yelled, smacking the electric crystal.

“Zaaap!”

As the final hit of juice surged through his body, he aimed the hook to the sky.

“Hehehe” cackled Isabela, following his fall with her wand.

She saw the hook shoot up and raised both eyebrows with glee. The fast approaching prospect of shooting out his last ditch attempt of a lifeline from him filled her with pleasure. As soon as the anchored was hooked to anything it would be blown apart, and the former prince would splatter. The air pressure changed as the shrill shriek of something big pierced her ears.

“Huh?”

The winds were disturbed as loud flapping intensified. A giant eagle almost ran over the witch who was spun throughout the air out of control. She did a barrel roll, and hissed as she thought she saw Edward mounted on the creature’s back.

“REEEEeeee where did he find that creature” she fumed, angrily waving a fist, while her spit flew like venom.

The witch on the broom sped in the direction of the giant bird that had almost maimed her. Edward hung high in the sky, as he was slowly pulled toward the airship he had managed to snag. It flew in the other direction towards the Capital City, as the motorcycle exploded into a tiny mushroom cloud far below his swinging feet.