《Life would be so much easier if I weren't a monkey》Chapter 45: The monkey’s paw

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Name: Natasha

Race: Mandrill matriarch lvl 11

XP: 1765

Size: 75

Type: Beast

Faction: Unaligned

Armor: 0

HP: 77/110

Strength: 8/Speed: 12/Endurance: 8/Magic: 8/Plasticity: 5/Luck 10

Senses: Vision 4, hearing 4, smell 4, taste 1, touch 2

Abilities: Balance 2, omnivorous 5, aposematism 3, specialized innate magic 6, Voice 1, coordination 2

Skills: Piercing bite 6, Jab 8, grapple and strike 7, precise throw 7, agile climb 7, nimble sneak 6, hide 1, rapid dash 6, dodge 3, block 1, discern weakness and strength 6, mysticism 1, quickstep 1, tumbling 1, leadership 4, mystic channeling 1, adaptability 1, infliction 1, spell focus 1

Spells: Wind drake breath 6, dual windfury 6, jetstream 1, cloud step 1, thunder missile 1, misty path 1

Boss ability: mob boss

Lao Tzu

Mandrill lvl 8

HP:40/40

Tony Luciano

Mandrill lvl 8

HP: 40/40

I paused to look up at the foliage above me as I contemplated how to actually cook some meat. I’ve never actually butchered anything before, but there’s enough here that it wouldn’t be a real problem. I have plenty of room for error. On that matter, after I cut some off, I’d need some way to cook it. Meaning I’d need either a pan, which is highly unlikely, a pot, or a skewer to hang over the fire like those old cartoons. Oh, and a way to start a fire.

Honestly, though it was definitely worth a try, I didn’t like the idea of tromping around the jungle for several more hours, seeking a way to start a fire and also cook the meat, all while hoping this giant body wasn’t snatched up by anything else in the meantime. Frankly it seems like more effort than it’s really worth at the moment.

Ok, adding to the agenda, find a fire starter, and cooking utensils. I would still have that flint if not for those humans kidnapping me back there. Though that isn’t nearly as frustrating as losing my ring. A constant regeneration of health from every kill was an amazing bonus, and now they have it. I know I really shouldn’t be mad at them, they don’t know what they’re doing… but still.

I closed my eyes, taking in one long deep breath and letting it out as a sigh. Yet another time I’m going to be passing up on eating meat, again. Honestly I’m really starting to crave fried chicken, or maybe a hamburger. Heck even a hotdog would be nice. I opened my eyes again and raised back up to my hands and feet, looking back up to the boys eagerly munching away. I may want meat, but I’m not so desperate as to eat it raw.

I waited there, for them to eat their fill, while I just ate another persimmon to heal up a bit more. I am lucky in one sense. Or two actually. First that there turned out to be a way to heal in the first place, and secondly that the thing I had to eat actually tasted pretty good. If it turned out to be like whole raw eggs that would have sucked.

+10 hp

While I was eating I looked back to the waterfall off in the distance again. I idly wondered if there was anything behind that one, but I wasn’t about to go and find out right now. I’m already exhausted enough as it is. What I really want to do, is go refill my healing bag, and then make it back home before nightfall. Because as dangerous as this place has been so far, I do not want to find out how bad it is at night. Especially with that owl lurking around.

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I scratched at my chin, running my fingers through my bright orange beard as I contemplated what of my now numerous tasks was the most important. Honestly the one that I actually think matters the most is probably still the ant trap. Cause once that is figured out I should have a more constant intake of xp. Then I can actually get to work on both leveling myself up and getting more stuff for the dungeon.

WARNING: Your dungeon is under attack!

As I was sitting there, the warning popped up in front of me, nearly causing me to choke on my fruit, coughing to clear my throat. I looked back up to the notification, and tried to tap it, and see if there was any more information, but no, it simply disappeared. This was certainly unexpected, but it meant I had to get home quick.

I gave a hoot to get the boys attention, and as soon as they were looking I broke out into a run, following the line of the river to the nearest tree, scampering up the trunk and to the first branches, leaping from one vine to the next. I didn’t bother with stealth, because if that warning meant there were humans in my dungeon, not only am I not there, but I’m certain they would just cut down all of the other monkeys like tissue paper.

+4 XP

Wh-? Xp? I looked back at the boys as I was landing on a branch. My thought was that they must have killed something while running, but I looked back and only saw them struggling to keep up. I was confused, but I only paused for a second before getting right back into a sprint. I have no time to spare after all. I’m no small distance away.

+4 XP, +4 XP, +4 XP

Now obviously this must have something to do with the dungeon, but if I’m getting 4 xp, even broken up into thirds, that’s just 12 total. A dead human would not be 12 xp. Does that mean that something else is invading? But if so, why would I be getting xp? I don’t get xp from anything below a certain level any more. Maybe it’s the dungeon getting the xp, and not me?

+4 XP, +4 XP

The questions were starting to make my head hurt, though more from stress than from difficulty. There was no sense in worrying about it, since there was really nothing I could do except run slightly faster, but that hardly expelled my anxiety. Still I felt a nagging in the back of my head that told me that this was somehow my own fault. Though personally I reserve some of the blame for the system and its complete opacity as to how the heck everything is supposed to work.

+4 XP, +4 XP, +4 XP, +4 XP

I passed by the little frog lizard things on the riverbank, which told me how close I was generally to the cave. Funnily enough I was much faster to get here than I was to explore the rest of the woods. I suppose it’s the difference between knowing where you are going, and wandering aimlessly. Though, it also probably has to do with the fact that I was moving full speed, as opposed to a leisurely pace as well.

+4 XP, +4 XP, +4 XP

I passed by the goblin camp, though as I spared a glance towards the other side of the river, what I had left a mess of goblin corpses was now swarming with them, like little green ants, riled up in a frenzy. I knew I hadn’t killed them all, but I was still surprised with just how many goblins were still alive. Or maybe they just have a really high spawn rate.

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+4 XP, +4 XP

Once I actually got to the waterfall again, I scuttled down the cliff face, sidling along the wall to get to the entrance, dropping in to look at the other side of the bridge. What I did see was surprising. It looked like a bunch of two foot tall pillbugs. I don’t know how you could really even call it an attack if they’re just pillbugs. Though once I got closer, I did see what was going on. The corpses of several pillbugs and mandril were splayed out at the edge of the bridge, and just beyond it. I could hear the commotion of lots of monkey shouting ahead, so I picked up the pace.

+4 XP

I came around to where I could see the tree in the courtyard, and most of the monkeys were huddled together. There was something like a standoff going on, where the pillbugs were crawling all over the place, sort of wandering blind. Boris was the only one not gathered up in the mob, as he was running out and frankly bullying the pillbugs. He would run up to one, and when it rolled into a ball, he would pick it up and throw it as hard as he could.

Occasionally one of the pillbugs would wander closer to the crowd, and when it noticed them, would roll up, but in a manner completely unexpected, two legs would slide out of the gap and kick at the ground, tossing itself like a cannonball into the mandrills. It clearly caused some damage to whoever was in front, but the monkeys would retaliate by swarming over it and quickly ripping it apart.

+4 XP

I don’t know too much about pillbugs, but somehow I don’t imagine that the pillbugs back home launched themselves at you like the world's smallest and most aggressive rugby player. Still, even with that, they kind of just wander around aimlessly. I don’t get how they killed so many monkeys if that’s all that they do. I glanced over at one of the dead monkeys and looked at the body. It did look bludgeoned, but the killing blow was very clearly a piercing hole in the shoulder. Pillbugs, as far as I can tell, do not have anything sharp.

I looked around again, and there on top of the palanquin building was the very familiar shape of a centipede, laid out flat across the rooftop. It wasn’t attacking, just sitting there. I wondered if it was dead at first but I did see the antennae barely twitching. It is alive, so my guess is that it’s hiding. It must not be confident in its ability to get through the crowd of monkeys on its own.

I stood there for a moment, watching the pillbugs awkwardly waddle around, one walking towards me, and quickly curling up into a ball. Luckily I’d already seen what it does, and stepped out from in front of it. I was curious if I could maybe catch it, but I wasn’t about to test it and see. I watched as it went sailing past me, and continued rolling off into the distance for a good twenty feet before uncurling again to continue its waddle.

I turned my attention back to Boris, but as I did, I watched him grab and throw another pillbug haphazardly into the distance. I, however, saw something he did not. He was stepping right beneath the palanquin building, and just as he did, the centipede started to scuttle forwards to pounce on him from above. I was not going to let that happen of course.

I started to dash forwards, slipping past one pillbug that panicked and rolled into a ball as I heard it launch itself in a random direction. I zipped forward, watching the centipede rear up as I started to wonder if I was going to be faster than it. Unfortunately I didn’t even get the opportunity as a second centipede launched out from inside the building towards me as I passed. My heart thumped like a kick drum in my chest seeing the fangs launch towards me.

-12 hp

The claw-like jaws snapped into my belly and back as the things head bowled me over, knocking me off my feet. Though my eyes were on Boris, who shared a similar fate, seeing it bite into his back and knock him face down into the dirt. The jaw of the one biting me flexed open as it readied for another quick stab, and I grabbed onto the head with both hands, shoving it down harshly into the dirt, or more accurately falling on top of it.

-1 hp, -1 hp

The poison from the centipede was like being injected with fire. A surging pain pulsing through my whole torso as blood started to drain out of my gut. I almost reflexively cast windfury in that moment, both hands being wreathed in swirling wind as I reached out to grab whatever I could. I grabbed at the gap between body segments, and with a surprising harshness stamped a foot down on top of its head while yanking straight up. I heard a crack as the chitinous shell cracked, but didn’t give way.

-1 hp, -1 hp

The rest of the body skittered and dragged itself backwards trying to drag itself away from me, but since I held on, it just pulled me along with it. Boris, however, was not happy about the bite he received, and threw a wild punch behind him as he forced himself to his feet. The centipede on him taking the opportunity to wrap itself around him, the many legs sticking into his body like knives

-1 hp, -1 hp

Tony Luciano -4 hp

I was being dragged along by the centipede, as I wrenched the chitinous plate back again, and I could feel something tearing beneath the armor, but as soon as I saw the popup alerting me that Tony took damage, I instantly started scanning around for him, seeing him latching onto the twin tails of the centipede I was fighting. He was biting at the tail while the furthest back legs were wildly trying to grab him, leaving a scratch on his leg. I’m glad he’s helping, but at the same time, I really don’t want him to get involved in something this dangerous either.

-1 hp, -1 hp

Tony Luciano -1 hp

While I was distracted, the weight of the centipede shifted, rolling over onto its side and nearly throwing me off, but both hands stayed latched to the carapace, and both feet were loosely gripping around its head. I could feel my foot lose its grip, and I yanked it up before the centipede could curl around to bite it.

-1 hp, -1 hp

Tony Luciano -1 hp

Lao Tzu -4 hp

Just another glance up told me that both the boys were back there now, Tony biting at the tail as Lao grabbed one of the back legs, trying to yank it off, but got stabbed in the arm. Boris looked much worse off, wrapped up in stabbing legs as the centipede tried to bite at the back of his neck. However, all it took was Boris getting his hands on one of those jaws, and one swift yank to rip it from its face.

-1 hp, -1 hp

Tony Luciano -1 hp

Lao Tzu -1 hp

This is a little more than I bargained for at this point. Though just as I decided to do something about this, the wind faded from my hands. I’d need to do some significant damage in a very short period of time, and with this poison setting my entire torso on fire, I’m not sure how I’m really going to do that. So, I may as well just do whatever damage I can as quickly as I can. I found the gap between the body segments and sunk my teeth into it. One swift puncturing wound and then threw my head back to try and rip through.

-1 hp, -1 hp

Tony Luciano -1 hp

Lao Tzu -1 hp

I did some damage, but not enough to actually rip the shell free. The centipede curled around again, and rolled over me as I kept my grip on tight. Though as it did, the back end of the centipede flailed, wrapping up Lao in its claws as they stabbed into his shoulders and back. I raised both of my feet in one breath, and my teeth were still sunk into the flesh, so when I landed both feet in a kick, it opened up the gap, and I ripped out a chunk of grayish flesh.

-1 hp, -1 hp

Tony Luciano -1 hp

Lao Tzu -8 hp, -1 hp

As soon as the gap presented itself I pulled up the knife and thrust it down into the green tinted blood, sinking the stone blade deeper into the semisolid entrails. Less cutting and more like sawing as I raked the blade across anything I could reach. I don’t know how much damage I’m doing with any of these attacks, but the thrashing at least felt like a good sign on that front. Only for that thought to be interrupted by Boris lifting and ripping the centipede off of his back, and slamming it into the floor.

-1 hp, -1 hp

Tony Luciano -1 hp

Lao Tzu -1 hp

I was lifted up as the centipede raised its head, trying to turn, but I was clearly weighing it down heavily. The head dragged to where it was facing backwards and I knew it was going to try and bite at Tony. So I shoved my foot down to pull its head into the dirt again. Honestly protecting these two is turning out to be harder than just staying alive.

-1 hp, -1 hp

Tony Luciano -1 hp

Lao Tzu -1 hp

Tony, blissfully unaware as to the bite I’d just prevented, reached forward and grabbed a leg, twisting it harshly and pulling at the joint. Now I wouldn’t expect that to do much on its own, but Tony wasn’t just pulling, he was putting his whole body into the yank, and I heard something crack. I wasn’t sure if it was the leg or his shoulder until I saw him go for another one.

-1 hp, -1 hp

Tony Luciano -1 hp

Lao Tzu -1 hp

I started to take in a deep breath, getting ready to cast another spell, though I wasn’t sure as to what was going to win me this fight yet. Or rather I couldn’t at this moment remember any spells I even had. I know I have windfury and drake’s breath, so I just cast windfury again, this time on both knives, as I pulled the other knife to jab into the same wound as the first. The two knives together went from a decent wound to a gaping hole, both blades boring into the flesh to excavate more out onto the surface.

-1 hp, -1 hp

Tony Luciano -1 hp

Lao Tzu -1 hp

I felt the centipede list to the side, dragging my shoulder along the ground, but I just kept stabbing. This did mean however, that I was not holding on with anything other than my feet. This proved to be a very bad thing, when being dragged rolled me over my shoulder, and I felt at least eight pairs of legs stab into me, wrapped me up in their grip, and then a bite sank into my back.

-8 hp, -12 hp, -1 hp, -1 hp

Tony Luciano -1 hp

Lao Tzu -1 hp

I felt another lance of pain surge through my torso as the venom spread across my back, but before I could even think of anything to do about it, I watched Tony jump up onto the centipede’s back, biting into the wound I’d already made, though unlike me, he started eating the chunk he’d ripped out, the weight of the bug suddenly bearing down on top of me as it fell limp.

334 xp, -1 hp, -1 hp

Tony Luciano -1 hp

Lao Tzu -1 hp

I was not expecting Tony to have gotten the last hit, but it was a welcome surprise. I did a quick scan of myself, looking down at my wounds and wincing slightly with every heartbeat feeling like fire. I’m just shy of 20 hp left, and I’m debating whether I should use my level up, or save it and just eat the persimmon. Looking over at Boris, still fighting but looking pretty badly wounded, actually worse off than I’ve seen him so far. I don’t have the time to really waste debating. So I sighed and pressed the button, all the pain fading in one moment as my health went back up to full.

Tony Luciano -1 hp

Lao Tzu -1 hp

I watched as Boris held the centipede down with one hand, punching down at it with the other, all while the bladelike limbs scratched at his exposed flesh. I hesitated for a moment before handing both Lao and Tony a pair of persimmons to stop their bleeding, then turned on my heel and quickly pulled my knives out of the dead centipede.

Tony Luciano +10 hp

Lao Tzu +10 hp

I turned back toward Boris, and watched as he grabbed one of the legs and yanked it off. A stark contrast to Tony when he tried, and it took all his weight, Boris did so with one arm and seemingly little effort. Still he’s dealing way less damage than he’s taking, so I’d better do something fast.

I ran in, grabbing at one of the antennae as it flailed about, pulling the head away from Boris to stop it from biting him again. I pulled the knife up and first went in to cut at the captured antennae, I stopped when I realized Boris had it held down. So instead I put the knives away, and pulled out the ax. Now, I can’t swing this thing with one arm unless it’s straight up and down. Luckily it’s not going anywhere so I can give it a shot.

I raised the ax with one arm, and brought it down on the centipede’s head. I heard a crunch at the blade sunk into the shell, it was wounded, but it didn’t seem severe enough, and it was still clawing at Boris so it wasn’t dead yet. Though no sooner than I’d finished my thought and raised the ax, the large mandrill brought his fist down on the wound and it looked like a someone had squeezed a jelly filled donut, grayish goop spurting out both sides of the head, and the long segmented body falling limp.

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