This was so far beyond the pale I couldn’t even remember what it looked like when I passed it. Laughter exploded out of me, harsh and strained. It all made so much sense now. Putting the ethical and moral concerns aside—of which there were a fuckton—no wonder they wanted me dead. No wonder Ellison couldn’t trust me. The ability was completely broken, and this was only the baseline of the puppet master augment.

And offset the ability’s biggest downside—the mana cost.

It was beautiful. It was fantastic. And I wouldn’t have trusted Gandhi with it, let alone myself.

If I got this earlier, would I have even tried to convince Miles? Or would I have just waved my fucking hand after he shot me and made it happen? And if I really wanted to be a normal person like Hastur implied, a concept I was still wrapping my head around, was there even any coming back from this?

It was everything I ever wanted. All the control, all the power, all wrapped in a neat package of technicalities and faux-downsides that could probably—eventually—be eroded away through upgrades. The more I leveled, the higher level Users I could affect.

But.

I could have made Tyler believe me. Or influenced enough people around him until he at least considered the possibility I was telling him the truth.

I could have stopped the crossbowman.

And killing Maria would have been completely unnecessary. If my level was high enough to bring her within the target range, I could have simply ordered her to surrender herself to the Adventurer’s Guild, and tell them everything they wanted to know.

I knew what was happening. I could feel myself trying to justify it, even now. And making those justifications was only going to get easier, every time I used it.

was just training wheels for the real deal.

was the answer to everything. It was how I would win. It was my undoing. And it scared the goddamn hell out of me.

Fuck. I couldn’t trust myself here. I needed to talk to Nick. As soon as possible.

It took far too long to notice the violet notification light of a new message.

The cheery ping of a voice call came seconds later.

“What?” I answered irritably

If Halima picked up on my tone, she completely ignored it. “You’re out of the ripple?”

“Yes.”

“And you told me to trust my instincts, right?”

I paused. “With Nick. Yeah, that’s what I said.” There was heavy breathing on the other side, and the sound of footsteps crunching through greenery. “Are you running?”

“I think—I think I fucked up.” Halima’s voice was raw.

“Fucked up how? Are you in trouble?”

“No. Not me, Keith. And maybe Nick, or because of Nick, I don’t know.” Whatever it was, it sounded bad.

“You’re not making sense.” I said, trying to keep my voice calm.

“They’re gone, need to find them.” Her breaths grew more panicked, short, clipped.

I stood, goosebumps rising on the backs of my arms. “Halima, are you somewhere safe?”

“Yeah but—”

“Great. Now sit the fuck down.” I put every ounce of authority I had into the command.

Silence. A rustling of grass. I gave her a full minute.

“Tell me what happened.”

“Nick was fine. Everything was fine. I mean—he was still down, and scared looking, but he was fine.” Her voice was more composed, though the panic still rang clear.

“And then?” I prompted.

“He just stood up, out of nowhere. Stared out into the ocean for a while. Scared me. I mean he doesn’t seem like the type, but what if he just walked out into it—”

“—but he didn’t.” I said, trying to redirect.

There was a rustle on the other side of the line. “No. He apologized. Said he was tired of brooding and wanted to explore around the island, look for other ripples. I figured that was a good thing, you know? But he said it was better if we kept working in pairs, that he’d bring Keith and told me to wait for you. Then he smiled at me. At both of us.”

“What kind of smile?” I asked.

“What do you mean—”

“—Describe it.”

“Uh. Tight, no teeth. Squinty. And it—it didn’t feel warm. Didn’t feel like him. I think something’s wrong. Really, really wrong. Maybe that’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid,” I said quietly.

Something flickered in the back of my mind. A memory from a hospital room just after he got the worst news of his life.

“It’s alright. This was always a possibility. And you know what? They’re gonna give me a cane. Won’t play ball again, but I’ll have all the swagger in the world.” Same smile. Same expression. Cold as the goddamn arctic.

A choked sound echoed from the other side of the call. “Maybe I’m overreacting.”

She wasn’t. Something was wrong. He wasn’t the type to kill himself, but he was absolutely the sort to go out in a blaze of glory. But no, that didn’t fit. Why bring Keith? The mage was harmless, bordering on a civilian. He’d pack a lot more of a punch once he got a handle on his title.

The obvious problem that Nick sandbagged him on.

Why? Think, goddammit

Hastur mind-fucked me in a big way. I had to assume he did the same to Nick. Offered him something that both profoundly unsettled him and was an offer he couldn’t refuse. I could see Nick working with the Order, but not after what they did to Jinny. Not with how he felt about her, not with what he lost. The only way I could remotely see that happening was if Hastur offered him something big.

What did Nick want? What the fuck did he want?

Whatever he wanted, Hastur placed him as the leader of zero-team. Put him there for a reason. Zero-team comprised Users that were primarily—

Oh fuck.

I spoke rapidly. “Who got Keith into zero-team?”

Halima hesitated. “I don’t—”

“Don’t bullshit me here, Halima. If you actually care about Nick, or Keith, you need to fucking level with me. The nepotism is obvious, I just need to know who.”

“His brother. Darren,” Halima whispered.

The name meant nothing to me. “Description.”

“Sort of pasty. On the short-side of tall. Long red hair.”

Keith’s brother was the fucking redhead with the ponytail. The one who pulled Nick aside moments before we left on the mission, and it looked like he was begging. The one who shot Jinny.

“Okay, good.” I said, bringing my voice down, projecting a calmness I didn’t feel. “Any idea where they went?”

“East along the beachside, but their footprints led into the forest, which is where I lost them. I’m sorry—”

“It’s okay.” I pushed my fingers back through my hair. The cardinal direction narrowed it down, and I’d made physical contact with Nick when I gave him my healing charge. “I have a way to find them.”