《Where Emus Dare》Chapter Ten - The Perfect Gift
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Lady Anna
Bergraz Palace
174th SUMMER – the first year of the regency (Earth Date 22nd January 2017)
I returned to my room in Father’s apartments, the one I’d been using as a base since I’d left the Druids last Beltane. I hadn’t spent much time here and looking around with fresh eyes I realised it was small and a bit tatty, hardly suitable accommodation for a heir to a major demesne, let alone a Lord Auditor. I decided I was well overdue accommodation appropriate to my status, not to mention Father would probably appreciate the privacy if he ever got over his dislike of the Palace and decided to stay here.
Oz had managed to get Kate an elegant set of rooms in the lower Palace that I was a little envious of and I knew there were many empty apartments, surely one could be allocated to me. I went looking for Eddings, my father’s butler finding him in the private living room, doing his best to make the apartment look lived in and welcoming.
I explained my problem and he agreed I was well overdue for an apartment of my own and gave me the Palace’s Major Domo’s phone number which was a bit of a surprise, I hadn’t even realised the staff had adopted this technology yet. The Major Domo answered immediately, after a brief conversation I informed them of my new status and requirements, including, rather cheekily, a request for my apartment to be close to Marcus’ old offices.
To my surprise, and with what sounded like genuine enthusiasm, the Major Domo immediately offered me a set of rooms that were actually in the Royal Apartments. I suspect this was a massive snub directed at Mother who’d given the Major Domo more than a little grief over the years. Not believing my good fortune I accepted and asked if they could organise the transfer of my stuff and sort out staff. The Major Domo kindly acquiesced, and apologised profusely that they wouldn’t be able to have the suite ready until tomorrow. I thanked them for their prompt attention, then emboldened by their attitude I made another call which was as productive as the first.
That done, I rifled through my meagre wardrobe for something more suitable for stable shenanigans wishing I’d never attempted to give the Little Rascal’s Earth made washing machine a spin. I hadn’t realised that, although the machine washed the clothes, you had to put it in another machine to dry them. Currently most of my wardrobe was in a soggy lump, hopefully en route to my room with the rest of my luggage.
Kate would have changed into what was becoming her customary jacket, boots and trousers combo, she looked good in them and I’d noticed a few of the more daring women of the court copying her look and I wondered if I dared follow her lead. When we’d snuck through the Gateway to have a night on the town on Earth I’d worn leggings that had fitted me like a second skin and I’d received more than my fair share of male attention. Reluctantly, I decided these were a giant leap too far for Palace sensibilities and settled for a conventional loose dress that left most of my shoulders and arms bare and enabled me to conceal a long knife about my person.
The unicorn stables were part of the truly ancient parts of the palace, they had once been the throne room and in the opinion of the eccentric clique of Imperial Guards and well born women who attended the great beasts, the addition of unicorns had been a great improvement. It had never been one of my haunts, the lure of the great beasts had been tempered by the fact that all conversation started and ended with unicorns and I liked a bit more variety to my discourse. Kate, however, had found herself adopted into their circle with open arms.
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I found Oz and Scarlett already there. Oz was tending to his brown, while Scarlett was tending to the white, assisted by a wild haired Imperial Guard with no eyebrows who was showing her the correct way to hold a brush or something as the rest of the unicorns watched on with great interest, passing rumbled comments amongst themselves. Kate arrived a couple of minutes later looking extremely pleased with herself.
“How did it go?” Kate asked, as she made a fuss of the great, white-haired beast that Kate had named Carrots. It was unclear whether she was talking to the unicorn, Scarlett or Oz.
“I had a bit of a problem on the docks, but otherwise Carrots was as good as iron,” Scarlett admitted. Oz laughed.
“Carrots almost unmasked one of our Secret Auditors taking a short cut”
“What’s a Secret Auditor? I thought that man was just a Red Dragon… and you barely even looked at him,” Scarlett said.
“Well it’s bad form to stare at the Secret Auditors, they don’t like it. I suppose if you’re going to be crude about it they’re spies, our spies. I know I know him from somewhere and Carrots obviously knew him well enough to ask for a snack.” Oz shrugged, frowning, obviously irritated he couldn’t remember who the man was.
“Never mind, as you're goin’ on this secret mission of yours you’ll bump into him sooner or later. You can ask him his name then,” Kate said, laying a sympathetic hand on his arm.
“It’s hardly a secret mission, I’m off to stomp down on any Iron Brotherhood activity that rears its ugly head. Actually I better run off, I should really have set sail a couple of hours ago.” Oz gave Kate a brief snog, said farewell to Scarlett, then to my surprise gave me a bone crushing hug. We watched him go, a tall, slim, elegant figure. Kate sighed, for a second looking concerned and I realised she really cared for my half-brother.
“I hope he doesn’t do anything stupid. I really miss him when he’s not around.” She brightened, “oh, I called Jake while you were changing. I’ve got you a hot date, if you play your cards right you'll finally get laid.”
“Lady Kate! Ladies don’t say things like that in polite company, what did you say to Lord Jake,” Scarlet asked in a tone of scandalised horror. I giggled, most of my adolescence had been talking about things like that, although perhaps with a bit more… delicacy.
“A proper date?” I enquired of Kate, butterflies in my stomach.
“I explained in easy-to-understand words how you didn’t just think of him as a friend and the mere thought of his manly muscles makes you horny as hell. I think I managed to get through to him. After we’ve finished here I’m escorting you to the Smith’s guild where he wants to show you something… something he says you’ll like but I’m not convinced his idea of a hot date is going to be yours.” Kate said cautiously. I smiled, as the butterflies in my stomach intensified.
“If I wanted to be wined and dined, I could have a date with any noble in the palace. If Lord Jake wants to show me his favourite hammer I will be quite happy to give it the attention it deserves.” I replied.
“I bet you will,” Kate said.
“Lady Kate,” scolded Scarlett who was taking her duties very seriously. We turned to the stable entrance as a tiny but unbelievably bright fluorescent yellow motor vehicle pulled up outside the stables, a blue light flashing on the roof. The unicorns turned as one to watch the passenger, a tall, severe looking, but handsome woman get out. She was wearing trousers, they were part of her official uniform and she was also carrying a bulky case. She had a quick word with the driver and then walked towards us.
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“Jaysus, it’s the fuzz. Make yourself scarce Scarlett,” Kate said as I smiled and went to greet the Commander of the Guard.
“Lord Auditor Anna, Lord Auditor Kate,” the Commander greeted us formally, nodding her head in an almost bow.
“Commander Joanne, I wasn’t expecting you to attend us personally, certainly not at such short notice…” I said, surprised and not a little flattered that the first non noble to ever to command the guard had responded to my call with such alacrity.
“You are investigating the possible murder of an Emperor and you are both Lord Auditors are you not? If any of your predecessors had not had the immediate attention of the Commander of the Guard they would not have been happy. I assume you have some proof you are Imperial Auditors.” She held out a hand and after a moment of bafflement I realised what she wanted and passed her the letter, then she looked at Kate who rummaged in her pockets and did the same. The Commander inspected the letters carefully, then glanced up at me as she realised I was watching her.
“The A B C of investigation. Assume nothing, believe no-one, and check everything. You would do well to keep that in mind.” She handed us back our letters and glanced around. Scarlett had wandered off to talk to the Unicorn handler who’d discretely found something to do at the back of the stable. “I take it you have evidence that the Emperor was murdered?” Kate rummaged in her jacket pocket and pulled out the two bullets and we explained how we’d come by them. Commander Joanne listened intently and asked a few questions of her own, she almost cracked a smile as Kate described the events that happened in Lord Aldred’s chambers.
“It’s good to know someone is keeping the aristo’s in check, Aldred has a reputation as a slippery bugger, you did well to pin him down as well as you did,” she glanced around and continued in a lower voice. “To be brutally honest I wouldn’t be able to investigate Marcus’ death with any degree of effectiveness. I don’t have the influence or contacts in the palace my predecessors had. I certainly wouldn’t have been invited to tea with Lord Aldred…” the Commander sighed almost wistfully. “Now, shall we take a look at the crime scene?”
We walked over to the staircase in the corner of the room that led to the upstairs of the stable. It was obviously a later addition, about as basic a staircase you can get without calling it a ladder. We looked up, the opening had been sealed off by simply nailing planks of wood to the ceiling. There was a leaflet pinned to it, I walked up the stairs and inspected the piece of crudely printed paper.
BERGRAZ GUARD
CRIME SCENE
DO NOT ATTEMPT ACCESS
Unauthorised access beyond this point or removal of this notice will make you liable for a fine of no less than 10 CROWNS and possible imprisonment.
“Hmm… I hope we’re authorised?” I said, handing the notice to the Commander, she gave a bark of laughter.
“I put that up there. That room’s been sealed since Beltane and if two Lord Auditors and the Commander of the Guard aren’t authorised to remove one little sign, no one is. No one is going to fuck with you. You technically have the power to arrest High Council members and execute them without trial, not that I’d advise doing that, not on your first day anyway.”
“Fine, I’ll give it a day or so before I arrest any members of the High Council… Hmmm, how do we get up there?” I asked ingeniously, pulling ineffectually on the planks. “We need a big, strong man to remove them for us…” Kate raised an eyebrow at this and turned.
“Oi, Gary…” Kate called to the unicorn handler.
“I said a big, strong man… perhaps a member of the Smith’s guild,” I hinted strongly.
“Oh… yes, we do, us ladies of quality can’t go around breaking and entering, it’s just not the done thing.” Kate said, the coin finally dropping as the unicorn handler approached. I realised he was wearing a tatty, mismatched Imperial Guard’s uniform with Captain's insignia. Not just a unicorn handler then, you had to be something a bit special to be that unkempt and remain a member of the Imperial Guard.
“Am I not man enough for you ladies?” the man asked.
“No,” Kate and I both replied at the same time.
“I asked for that, didn't I? Fine, if I’m not wanted I shall continue to instruct Scarlett in the finer arts of unicorn care.” Commander,” the handler winked at the Commander who nodded back, trying to hide a grin as the man stomped off to the other end of the stable in a faux offended manner.
“I have a crowbar in the car…” the Commander said in a low voice.
“No!” Both Kate and I hissed at her. I got out my phone, my heart thumping and dialled Jake’s number. He answered it almost instantly.
“Anna?” he asked, cautiously.
“Jake,” I purred in my most seductive voice. The Commander looked at me, raising an eyebrow.
“Is everything alright? Kate called me… If you want to rearrange…”
“No, no, I can’t wait that long to see you. I need your big, strong muscles in my life now. Are you free?”
“Err… yes?”
“Meet me at the palace stables, I need your help with a bit of breaking and entering.”
“Okay. Do I need to bring any tools?”
“Bring your biggest, sexiest crowbar,” I breathed.
“I will attend you momentarily,” he replied, a note of amusement in his voice.
“My heart will be empty until your arrival,” I whispered and hung up. Kate was grinning at me and shaking her head, even the Commander was smiling.
“Jaysus Anna, if he doesn’t get the message after that, there’s no hope for him.”
“I’m not one to stand in the way of romance, but who exactly is this Jake?” The Commander asked.
“Oh, you know, Lord Jake, Master of the Smiths, Mechanics and Metalworkers Guild, your fellow High Council member. Having an independent High Council witness to the unsealing of the location of Marcus’ murder would be a good idea, wouldn’t it?” I asked innocently. The Commander nodded and grinned.
“Your motives may be flawed but your reasoning is spot on,” she turned to Kate, “she’s got it bad hasn’t she?”
“Yeah, when Jake arrives we may just have to lock ‘em in a stall and let them go at it for a few minutes.”
“I suppose it would be continuing a family tradition… I was conceived here.” I admitted absentmindedly, the mere suggestion of being locked in a stall with Jake was giving rise to emotions inappropriate to conducting a murder investigation. Both women looked at me with surprise and interest.
“You can’t say that and not tell us the whole story,” Kate said when I made no move to elaborate
“Well, Mother once mentioned I was conceived in the old throne room, this is the only old throne room in the palace is it not?” I inspected the raised dais where the old throne had stood, guessing mother wouldn’t have settled for a stall when she could have got intimate in the space where Emperors of old had ruled. I sat down on an upturned bucket in the middle of the dais and tried to banish visions of those scenes from those books with me and Jake in the starring roles.
“She wouldn’t be the first,” Kate chuckled, “or the last. It’s a bit of a rite of passage amongst the unicorny set.” She looked at me and grinned at my expression, “I, myself can’t see the appeal of doing it with all these unicorns watching and judging you on your technique.” I nodded, not trusting myself to speak, realising almost every one of those books I’d ever read had included a scene in a stable.
“The choice of stables for assignations has more to do with the fact that it’s the one of the few places nobles are able to get a bit of privacy. The stables are unstaffed and unguarded at night, the beasts are quite happy to be left alone and no-one is going to try to steal a unicorn…”
“Not more than once, anyway” Kate grinned at the Commander.
“Exactly. They are not happy when strangers wander in. It’s not just assignations that take place either, there have been a few murders in here over the years.”
I was just about to ask about the murders when a familiar mustard coloured vehicle pulled up to the stable doors. It was much shinier than when I’d seen it last and had the Smith’s guild insignia painted on the doors and bonnet.
“Bloody hell, he fixed it. I thought Nat had killed that car,” Kate said as Jake got out of the driver's seat holding an evil looking crowbar. He was wearing a formal dark blue Smith’s guild jacket that emphasised his broad shoulders and muscular arms, his black hair, just starting to show a hint of grey, was cropped close to his head in the style of the Earth soldiers making him look exotic, dangerous and sexy. His dark eyes found me sitting at the end of the stable and he smiled waving his tool in greeting. Some of the unicorns didn’t appreciate this and there was snorting and tramping of feet as he entered the stable. The unicorn handler and Scarlett tried to sooth them.
“Hush, he’s a friend,” I softly scolded them before realising I hadn’t been a regular visitor here since I was a child. My heart went to my mouth, the sturdily built stalls were nothing but a polite reminder to something as large as a unicorn. To my utter amazement the unicorns quietened.
“All hail Empress of the Unicorns,” Jake smiled and bowed formally before me on my bucket, I made an imperial wave and held out my hand for him to kiss, he awkwardly knelt before me and took my hand that I raised so he had stand until his face was mere centimetres from my own. He looked at me in confusion and before I kissed him on the mouth, long enough for him to get the idea but not long enough for him to respond, then used the pressure from his hand to stand.
“Hello Jake.” I said softly, very aware he was standing inappropriately close to me and still holding my hand, my dark brown fingers intertwined with his light brown ones. I wondered if the others would really mind if we disappeared into a stall for half an hour or so.
“Hello Anna,” he replied, letting go of my hand, “As requested I brought my sexiest crowbar,” he handed his long black tool to me and I almost dropped it, it was far heavier than I expected and cold to the touch.
“Is this all metal?” I asked, this much iron was worth a small fortune.
“Round stock, medium carbon steel. I made it. A gift to you.”
“Oz never gave me a crowbar,” Kate muttered, sounding jealous.
“He gave you a battle trained unicorn.” I bit back at Kate, then turned back to Jake, “This is lovely, I shall treasure it,” I gushed, clutching the crowbar to my chest. Jake laughed.
“It’ll certainly last longer than flowers. And you can brain him if he makes unwanted advances. Or ignores your companions,” the Commander said pointedly. Jake looked up and I realised he hadn’t even noticed Kate and the Commander which was rather flattering.
“Oh, hello Jo, hi Kate, what’s going on?”
“You mean apart from Lady Anna throwing herself at you? We need to get upstairs, the Captain gave Scarlett and the Captain a look and they made themselves look busy. “We sealed the loft after the Emperor died, but we need to get up there to check a few things.” Jake nodded and went up the stairs to inspect the planks.
“Hmm, looks like you’ve already had a go,” he said pointing to a nail that was sticking further out than the others.
“Not us. How can you tell that someone’s had a go?” The Commander asked.
“The nail’s scratched from where someone’s tried to pull it out… Hmm there’s a bit of rust on the scratches, this was done a few weeks ago but after these were put up…”
“DON’T touch it, if you could move away, Jake,” the Commander said and opened her case, bringing out what looked like a makeup brush and a glass pot of white power, then she went up the stairs and started dusting the powder onto the planks.
“One day your prints will come,” Kate said. I giggled and the Commander paused from her work to glare at her. Kate grinned and turned to Jake, nodding to the car.
“How did you end up with the Kangoo? Xavier said Nat had killed it.”
“It's true that on Earth it would be beyond economical repair, over there you can just go out and buy another one. Here, it’s one of the few motor vehicles on the planet. I asked my darling sister if I could have it and she said yes before Xavier could say no. I have to say fixing it was an interesting exercise. It certainly gave us all an appreciation for Earth engineering,” I nodded along with Kate, I kept forgetting Jake was Her Holiness’ brother.
“Got one,” the Commander said from the stairs in triumph, we rushed over, only to be shooed away as she carefully transferred a fragile piece of tape to a device connected to her tablet. Under the Commander, the Guard had adopted Earth technology as quickly as it could be prised out of Trafalgar’s sticky hands.
We watched the Commander watch the screen intently for a while, then she sighed and turned to us. “No matches, finding one good fingerprint was more than we could have hoped for. With your permission I’ll try and get everyone who has access to the stables printed and statemented.” I gave the Commander my most grateful smile.
“Thank you Jo, that will save us a lot of work,” I said. The Commander smiled back
“No, thank you, Anna. It will allow us to expand our database in directions we haven’t been able to. We suspect there is theft from the palace on quite a large scale but we’ve never been able to pin down the instigators. The investigation of the Emperor’s death is the excuse we’ve been waiting for. I might even get samples from the aristos.” Kate grinned and rummaged in her pocket, pulling out a glass in an evidence bag.
“I snagged this from Lord Aldred’s desk. DNA and fingerprints all in one, it may even have his goon’s prints on as well…" The Commander took the bag off Kate and placed it carefully in her case as Kate continued. “...we better get on with investigating the murder. Anna, give Jake your new toy back, there’s no point in us having a Master Smith here and only using him as eye candy. Jake, if you would remove those boards…”
“Yes, My Lady,” Jake said with a grin, taking the crowbar from me and handing me his jacket. I held the jacket close, breathing in Jake’s perfume as I watched him start to lever the first nail out. There was a deafening creak that echoed around the stable as the nail relinquished its grip on the timber. The unicorns, snorting with displeasure, turned as one to fix their disapproving stare on Jake.
“That explains why only one nail was only pulled out halfway,” he said, eyeing the unicorns dubiously as he waited until the unicorns had settled somewhat then he inserted the crowbar between several planks and pulled down, there was the sound of splintering wood and the entire obstruction blocking the staircase crashed to the ground. The unicorns looked up again but this time there was curiosity in their stares and the huffing of their amusement, they liked a bit of destruction, especially if someone got hurt. Jake cleared the remaining planks from the staircase, handed me back the crowbar and made a courtly gesture for us to ascend the stairs.
I’d never been in the area above the stables before and the space above was not what I’d expected. The five-metre height of the stables below was more than matched by the vaulted carved stone roof above us. Light streamed in through a massive stained-glass window where the boarded up man-sized section in the middle where Bonner had fled from Brand didn’t seem to restrict the amount of light flooding in. It was easy to believe this had once been the throne room, there was still elaborately carved wooden panelling on the walls and I guessed there had once been a gallery running around the room and the current floor had just been placed over that.
From below I could hear Scarlett and the Captain talking quite clearly, then my eyes were drawn to the dusty, blood-stained patch of the floor where Marcus had fallen. It was easy to find, in the space, empty of anything apart from a few empty sacks dotted randomly about the floor, someone had run a ribbon tracing the path of the bullet Marcus had fired showing how it had ricocheted three times around the room before hitting Marcus in his chest. I felt tears pricking at my eyes as a wave of grief and rage rolled over me at the sheer randomness of what had happened and I now understood George’s bubbling angry grief.
And now it turned out there was another bullet, fired from somewhere in this empty room. Ignoring the Commander who was explaining the timeline of that fateful day I went to the window and looked out at the unbroken view over the city. There were no roofs, battlements or anything else that an assassin could have used to get a good view into the room from outside. I shook my head. Something about this room felt familiar, as if I’d read a description of it somewhere. I watched as the Commander lay down on the bloodstain, curling up, her back to the panelling.
“This is how the Guard found him, the poor guy did everything right, he gave Marcus another minute of life, enough time for Her Holiness to arrive… but not even she could save him.”
I looked at the panelling. Suddenly it came to me where I’d read about this room before. It was in one of those books, spicy, even by the standards of the genre, following the exploits of a newly married young woman alleviating her boredom with a series of sexual encounters. There had even been illustrations in the edition I had ‘borrowed’ off Mother’s bookshelf. I’d always thought that was an edge of realism that made it feel like a memoir as opposed to a work of fiction, and if the book wasn’t a work of fiction...
I looked at the sacks, they no longer looked randomly thrown down. I absent-mindedly stepped over the Commander and walked across the sacks to the panelling, my footsteps barely making a sound. I examined the section of dirt encrusted panelling in front of me, it was carved, as described in the book, with a hunting scene and looked like it hadn’t been touched for years. Then I noticed a couple of small, naked figures, less encrusted than the rest of the carvings, the wood a lighter colour as if it had been fingered many times over many years. I put my crowbar down, put my fingers on either side of the figures and pushed them together. There was a click and the panel swung inwards with a creak revealing darkness smelling of cold, damp stone. From behind me came exclamations of surprise.
“Tadaa,” I said weakly.
“How the fuck did you know that was there Anna?” Kate asked.
“There was no way the bullet could have been fired from outside, therefore it must have been fired in here. As there was no one in this room and this used to be the throne room I surmised there must be another way in.” I explained as if it were obvious.
“We searched the room for hours looking for something like this, then you wander in and go directly to the door,” the Commander said suspiciously.
“Look at all those empty sacks on the floor, they make a great big arrow pointing to the door and the latch wasn’t exactly hard to find. Marcus and Brand were never meant to leave this room alive. Bonner and whoever fired the second bullet planned to kill them both and disappear without trace.” The others looked around, then looked back at me.
“George didn’t make you Lord Auditor just for your connections did he,” the Commander said grudgingly.
“George didn’t make me Lord Auditor. Marcus did. He foresaw something like this happening and made sure his allies had the powers to track down his murderers and punish them, whomever they were,” I pointed out.
“Well, I’m impressed,” Jake said, sticking his head into the narrow opening, shining the torch on his phone about, “wow, there’s a whole room back here.” His voice was strangely muffled and I could barely hear him despite him being close enough for me to feel the heat from his shirt clad torso. I put a hand on his strong, muscular back and squeezed in next to him, pressing my whole body against his. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the darkness and a few more for waves of pure animal lust to subside.
I looked around, the space behind the panelling was a corridor about a metre wide running the length of the room. Despite the ceiling height which stretched all the way to the roof, sound was curiously muffled. Jake looked at me.
“Would you like me to move?”
“I’m fine.” I purred, squeezing past him into the corridor, he followed after and I pushed the door shut.
“There seems to be some sort of sound proofing in the panelling…” Jake managed to say before I flung my arms round his neck and snogged him, he responded with a passion that matched my own, his massive hands engulfing my waist and for a few glorious moments we kissed, then there was a muffled click, light flooded the passage and we pulled back from each other.
“I was hoping it would take you longer to find the catch,” I said, fanning my face with my hand.
“It wasn’t hard, I just asked myself what would catch your eye, I saw the naked men and… bingo,” Kate replied, grinning at me.
“We are investigating the murder of an Emperor and you are contaminating a crime scene. Both of you OUT. Let me and Kate have a look,” the Commander scolded us, pulling on a pair of thin clear gloves.
“Okay, but no canoodling between the two of you.” I joked and was rewarded by a flush of colour bloom across the Commander’s face before she ducked hurriedly into the passageway.
“I bet you never usually have that problem,” Kate’s voice came faintly from the passage.
“You have no idea,” I heard the Commander’s muffled reply.
Jake looked at me, suddenly looking much older than his fifteen years, his eyes flicking to the dusty bloodstain on the floor and I realised how presumptuous I was being. This was the Lord of a major demesne, the youngest Master Smith of his generation, a High Council member and a Fighting Pit champion, a remarkable person by any standards. In comparison I was merely a pretty hothouse butterfly.
“I miss Marcus,” I said, “he was a good friend,” I said, feeling a little ashamed of myself.
“I liked him, I wish I’d been able to get to know him better,” Jake replied. “We’ll find whoever did this and nail their dangly bits to the floor.” Before I could say anything there was an exclamation of surprise from the secret room and we poked our heads round the door. In the light from Kate’s phone the Commander was carefully putting an Earth made handgun in one of Kate’s clear evidence bags.
“Is that what I think it is?” I asked.
“Looks like it.” Kate replied.
“So the gun was fired from in here. The soundproofing must have prevented anyone hearing it.” I said.
“It would have muffled the sound a bit but not completely… Xavier would have noticed unless it was fired at the exact moment Marcus fired his gun.” Kate disagreed.
“I personally don’t think it was fired then, I think it was fired after Marcus fires his gun and Bonner jumps out the window with Brand hot on his heels. At that point there’s lots of shouting and confusion. The Emperor is lying on the floor, an easy target for our co-conspirator who shoots him once, then before they can fire again, the Guard comes up the stairs, our co-conspirator panics, drops the gun and runs off,” the Commander said.
“Runs off to where?” Jake asked, peering into the darkness.
“Let's have a look. Who wants to explore my mysterious damp passage,” I said. I couldn’t help myself.
“That’s not an offer you're going to get every day,” Kate remarked to Jake who grinned at her.
“Go on then, you three run off and investigate Anna’s dark hole. I shall stay here and continue our discreet forensic investigation. You never know, there might be some evidence you didn’t destroy with your shenanigans,” the Commander said firmly
“You might want to make it a bit of an indiscrete investigation. Whoever shot Marcus was not a professional. When they find the Guard are all over the stables they are going to panic. Hopefully they’ll do something stupid.” Kate said.
“I can do that, I’ll bring a whole squad up here to cause a bit of chaos, tweak a few ariso’s noses, that sort of thing,” the Commander replied with relish.
“Don’t disturb the unicorns.” Kate warned.
“Don’t worry Kate, I know how to deal with unicorns. I have been here a few times before. Now bugger off and stop contaminating my crime scene.” I grabbed my crowbar, turned on my phone torch and squeezed past Jake to the end of the room finding a set of stone stairs leading downwards. They were wider and better built than I’d expected to find in a secret passage.
We descended a long flight of stairs, the stables being higher than the rest of the ground floor of the palace then continued along a long straight corridor. “As secret passages go, this is a bit boring, no traps, no secret spy holes cut in paintings, no skeletons with swords sticking out of them, there aren’t even any dusty footprints to follow.” Kate complained. I had to admit she was right, it felt more like a corridor that had been forgotten than a secret passage.
“I think this was once used by the guards, it probably leads to an old guard room or barracks,” Jake rumbled from behind me, prodding an ancient lantern hook as we passed. A few metres further on we came to the end of the corridor and an old, but perfectly normal door. I turned the latch and pulled, the door opened to reveal a dusty but elaborately carved shrine bathed in coloured light. There was the smell of incense and I realised we were in one of the alcoves of the Palace chapel, the place we’d watched Father get married this morning. I turned to watch the door click shut behind us, the carvings on this side of the door merging invisibly with the wall.
“I don’t think this is a guard room anymore,” Jake commented, looking around at the opulent surroundings.
“Ladies, ladies, you’ve got it all wrong, you’re not meant to bring the man back with you, you’re meant to leave him in the stables,” an elderly male voice said, I turned to see the old priest who’d officiated at the wedding regarding us with a sparkle in his eye. I clutched Jake’s arm with a proprietary air.
“But he’s so gorgeous. I want to keep him,” I exclaimed.
“And sharing him with your rainbow haired friend too, very adventurous. I have to say it’s nice to see some of the old palace secrets being handed down in the family. I remember the old days, there was always some furtive young lady hanging around that shrine, waiting to slip into the passage for a rendezvous with her beau.”
“It’s not very clean in there, hasn’t anyone used it recently?” I asked, making a show of brushing off my skirt. The priest shook his head and smiled sadly.
“Not for several years to my knowledge and I’m always here, well, except for the Equinox festivals of course. If you ever feel the need of a non-judgemental ear you can speak to me in confidence. I believe I’ve pretty much heard it all over the years.”
“Thank you Father,” I said meekly.
“Go with God,” he blessed us all.
“Why didn’t you tell him the truth, how am I going to explain that I’m not part of a throuple to Oz,” Kate hissed as we left.
“Wouldn’t that make it a fourple,” asked Jake grinning.
“He won’t talk, not if he thinks we just snuck into the passage for sex.” I said, then went serious. “I want to keep our involvement in this quiet, let them think it’s the Guard who are investigating. I need to stay here and keep an eye on who’s acting out of character. Kate, can you interview Lady Thyme on your own? She hates me because of Mother,” I asked. This was an understatement, Mother was convinced she’d made a couple of attempts to poison me when I was little. I’d certainly been extremely and mysteriously unwell on a couple of occasions. After the second time Father realised Mother was incapable of keeping me safe and sent me to the Orston Sacred Pool school.
“Oh yeah, no problem. She was Madoc’s second wife wasn’t she.”
“And his mistress before that, she managed to pop out a couple of children before his first wife gave birth to Oz. She’s always been… ambitious.”
“Quite a little harem your biological father had,” Kate commented. I shrugged.
“They were ambitious and he’s not exactly known for his good judgement, especially where women are concerned.”
“And yet somehow he’s Regent. Oh well, weird shit happens in politics. I suppose I better rescue Scarlett before she starts helping the Guard with their enquiries,” Kate sighed.
“And I have been ordered to show Lady Anna a good time,” Jake said, giving Kate a grin. I squeezed his arm, not having relinquished it since claiming him in the chapel.
We swept down the main stairs, through the entrance hall, up through the empty ballroom and took the back way to the stables. With hindsight, probably not the best way we could have gone. Jake had killed someone with his bare hands here, and Kate, almost completely untrained in unicorn handling, had been taken by her unicorn on an uncontrolled murderous rampage, not to mention the people her dress had killed.. Both of them were silent as we walked through the ballroom, reliving unpleasant memories.
Jake and I left Kate in the stables with Scarlett and what looked like half the Bergraz Guard milling around outside. I got in the Kangoo and Jake, after a few false starts, managed to turn the car around and drive out the courtyard.
“Are you okay?” I asked. He hadn’t said a word since we’d entered the ballroom.
“I haven’t been back there since the battle… I wasn’t prepared for the memories,” he admitted. I laid a comforting hand on his leg and the car swerved dangerously. “Maybe don’t do that while I’m driving,” he said, glancing at me, smiling, “Natalie showed me how, but I’ve only actually driven a couple of times.”
Jake drove slowly with intense concentration down the steep hills, passing through every level of the city avoiding hitting anything or anyone which was quite an achievement as it felt like every person in the city wanted to gawp at the strange Earth made motor vehicle by stepping directly into its path.
I waved graciously, a smile plastered to my face and my heart in my mouth. Eventually we came to the first level where we turned down some insalubrious back streets at the back of the docks, finally coming to a stop at the back of a massive stone-built warehouse. Jake honked the horn and a set of massive wooden doors with a freshly painted Smith’s Guild insignia on them opened.
He drove us into a large but almost empty storage bay, turned the engine off and let out a big sigh of relief. “Fuck, that was scary. Sorry, Anna, that was meant to be an experience, a pleasant one I mean.”
“I don’t think Bergraz is ready for motor vehicles that don’t have sirens.” I said as a skinny young woman with light brown skin, long black hair tied back, dressed in shirt and trousers opened my door. She held her hand out to help me out of the car.
“Lady Anna, welcome to the Guild’s Special Projects. I’m Sophie, the apprentice aviatrix and I will be your servitor today,” she said formally.
“A pleasure, Sophie,” I said equally formally. “What does an aviatrix do?” I asked. Sophie looked at Jake.
“Sophie is the only Apprentice in the Guild with that title, you are the first non-guild person to be allowed to see this.” Jake said, avoiding the question.
“If you allow Master Lord Jake to escort you to the dry dock all will be revealed” Sophie said, giving me a mysterious smile, opening a normal sized door into a dark echoing space. Jake offered me his arm and we stepped into the darkness. I smelt and heard water nearby and I realised we were in one of the enclosed slipways the navy built and overhauled their battleships in. Obviously Jake’s seat on the High Council opened some very big doors.
“So, what are you going to show me?” I asked, guessing whatever was housed here was something a bit more special than Jake’s favourite hammer. The lights came on and I gasped in unfeigned awe and wonder.
“What do you think,” Jake asked. I could tell he was smiling but I couldn’t look away.
“It’s beautiful,” I said. It was white and burgundy, its boat shaped, streamlined fuselage, must have been around thirty metres long and its wingspan even wider. At its highest it must have been four stories tall and four propellers jutted from jewel-like housings in the wings
“It is.”
“It’s so big. Will it fly?
“It’s not as big as Grahh and she flies.”
“She doesn’t float though.”
“The design is adapted from Earth designed flying boats and we’ve done our own aerodynamic tests. There's no reason why it shouldn’t fly.”
“I’m surprised Xavier let you build it, he had his heart set on getting into the air first and the Treaty with the dragons hasn’t quite been finalised…”
“There is a feeling in the Guild that the first craft in the air should be one made here rather than on Earth and all the Treaty needs is an Emperor’s signature. The DAA is quite happy for us to do some testing. Actually, I think they’re rather keen to have something to do.”
“What’s the DAA?” I asked.
“Oh, I thought you knew? The Dragon Aviation Authority are the dragons responsible for how and where humans can fly. I think Xavier called them that as a joke and the name stuck.”
“Ohh, right, that lot. I didn’t realise they had a name.” I said. When I’d first met dragons en masse I’d thought they were universally intimidating creatures. Beings the size of a large house with a wingspan that would shade a street, do tend to have that impression on humans, but once I’d got to know them I soon realised some dragons were more intimidating than others. The group now known as the DAA were some of the more eccentric, less intimidating and human-friendly dragons.
“Yes, that lot. I strongly suspect DAA translates to something rude in Dragon,”
“My being made up to Journeyman rests on someone getting this into the air,” Sophie said. I walked up to the seaplane, close up, the attention to detail was exquisite. A piece of craftsmanship to show the world what the Smith’s guild was capable of. I wondered how much they had invested in this project.
“Open the door, go inside,” Sophie encouraged me. I went up a short step ladder just forward of the wings and turned a recessed handle, the door slid inwards on a clever hinge. Inside it was obviously nowhere near as finished as the outside, electrical wires hung from openings in the thin plywood that lined the walls and ceiling. A lacquered ply ladder led upwards, “the cockpit’s up the ladder,” Sophie said. I ascended, glad that I’d changed into a dress that allowed for this sort of adventurousness but I was definitely going to have to get some trousers if this was to become a regular thing.
I flashed my legs all the way to my knees for Jake at the top of the ladder, then went through an open bulkhead door, entered the cockpit and sat down in the left-hand seat. I was surprised at how much I recognised from the flight simulator Kate had introduced me to at Trafalgar. I’d lost almost a week to it before Kate managed to drag me away.
Everything was familiar, it was true but unlike the battered workaday plastic and metal of the simulator, these controls were made of leather and wood and beautifully crafted. The dials were still black and white, they had to be for clarity, but with the exception of the screen and the communications equipment they were obviously not Earth made. I put my hands and feet on the controls, feeling the resistance. The simulator had been good, but nothing had prepared me for the feeling I was getting from sitting in the cockpit of an actual plane. It just felt so right.
“Who is going to fly this?” I asked, almost in a whisper, caressing the controls. Jake came up behind me and rested his warm hands gently on my bare shoulders, the physical contact was like being immersed in a warm bath, only better.
“You are,” he murmured in my ear. “I built this for you.” I looked at him, he looked deadly serious.
“He persuaded the entire guild to build this in less than a season, just for a chance to get into your underwear,” Sophie said with a smile.
“Well, he’s not gonna get into my underwear tonight,” I said, turning and giving Jake a look, I paused for a moment, then I smiled flirtatiously at him, “I didn’t actually wear any,” I admitted, taking my hand away from the controls and putting it over his rough, calloused hand, well, over about three fingers of his hand and tried to pull it downwards. I might as well have tried to move the building. Sophie giggled.
“Sophie… you know I told you there are times when you need to stay quiet,” Jake said, sounding amused rather than cross.
“That was one of those times?”
“Yes. Go and serve dinner.”
“Yes boss,” Sophie sighed and disappeared down the ladder.
“Sorry about that, she is a brilliant technician but has absolutely no filter.”
“Did you really build this just for me?” I asked, after taking a deep breath. Being in physical contact with Jake was doing things to me. He grinned a piratical grin..
“That’s not what I told the guild when I was trying to get this financed, but yes, I built it for you. It’s not quite ready yet, but Kate was most insistent I made my move sooner rather than later. I don’t need to tell you there are people who really don’t want us to get together, they say, oh so many things, but mostly they say I’m merely a bit of rough that’s caught your fancy,”
“You’re not just a bit of rough, you’re The bit of rough. All I am is just a pretty butterfly who wants to suck your nectar. A pretty butterfly with a damaged wing.” I picked up Jake’s finger and ran it down the scar on my face, then placed it on my décolleté, hoping he’d follow the scar downwards to its obvious conclusion. He didn’t, but he didn’t move his hand either.
“We know we are so much more than that. We have something Anna, something I don’t want to lose. You told me that day in Sandbeck you wanted to fly. I thought I’d make your dream come true. I’m not good with words like the aristos you grew up with, and you’ve probably been given a shit ton of exotic gifts by your suitors. I wanted to make you something that no one had even thought of giving you and you would think of me differently… The truth is that I’ve fancied you since the moment you climbed out that window at the Sacred Pool. I just didn’t think you felt that way about me.”
“Jake I’ve been flirting with you pretty much since the moment I climbed out that window and you have been totally oblivious.”
“I thought you were just being friendly. I mean, you flirt with pretty much everyone. Are you really not wearing any underwear?” He asked, sounding almost scandalised. I smiled at him.
“Well, if you play your cards right, you’ll find out.” I murmured, it would have been a perfect moment if it hadn’t been ruined by my stomach rumbling with a sound like thunder. We looked at each other and then we both burst out laughing “You mentioned dinner?” I asked. It felt like a long time since Lord Aldred’s cream cakes and it had been a very long day.
“I did, let us adjourn to the salon, Sophie should have the first course ready by now.”
We descended to the level below, Jake still, despite my best efforts, was behaving like a complete gentleman and didn’t even try and check my underwear status. He led me into a surprisingly spacious cabin at the rear of the plane, the unfinished walls and ceiling covered with huge sheets of creamy lightweight cloth and the floor was a glistening dark wood. At the back of the cabin was a strange looking sofa bolted to the floor by a table set for a dinner for two, on the other side of the table was a delicate looking folding chair.
Jake sat me down on the sofa while he took the chair that creaked under his weight. Sophie entered and served us the starter, together with wine, then disappeared. We talked of many things, of flying, of dragons, of what the rest of the club were doing and many other things besides. We didn’t deliberately talk of family, the case, or anything to do with the perilous state of the Empire.
After dessert was consumed and the third bottle of Earth wine emptied Sophie cleared up and disappeared out the door. Seconds later the lights of the warehouse went out.
“Aha, young Lady, you are at my mercy,” Jake rumbled like the villain in a bad play. He threw off his jacket, moved the table and sat down next to me, his weight throwing me towards him then putting his arm around me
“Oh sir, I’m just a poor innocent girl, what are you going to do to me?” I asked, playing my part, as I snuggled up to him, realising I was a little drunk, despite only consuming one of the bottles of wine.
“I am going to force you… to watch the film of my choice… Behold… Porco Rosso!” He pulled out a black rectangle with buttons on. He pressed one and the lights dimmed to a soft yellow glow, he pressed another one and a bright white light shone on the white sheet directly in front of us, music started playing and the title sequence of an animated film started playing.
“Oh, a film on an aeroplane. How novel,” I applauded.
“A film about aeroplanes on an aeroplane,” he said smugly and pulled a lever next to him, the back of the sofa reclined until it was almost a bed, I squeaked in delighted surprise taking every opportunity to snuggle closer. We kicked off our shoes and wiggled about until we were both comfortable. I laid my head on Jake's chest, he put his arm around me and we watched the film. feeling, warm and relaxed in a way I hadn’t felt for a very long time
“This is nice,” I murmured after a few minutes, undoing Jake’s uncomfortable looking belt. There was no answer, just a steady breathing. I smiled. It had obviously been a long day for both of us. I lay my head on Jake’s chest and shut my eyes, just for a second.
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