《Unkillable Loser》Chapter 24: Slooooooow
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Tony POV:
It has been a very…. Very…. VERY long two and a half weeks. You would think that getting bled dry was something that would drag the time but there was something oh so much worse.
Boredom.
I thought Altru would move on to taking my limbs to replace lost body parts or some sadistic shit like that but apparently there are lines no one wants to cross. Heretic blood flowing into a dying soldier’s veins can be talked away, but a soldier might ask where such a perfectly functional arm came from especially if there are whole buckets of them coming into the war camps.
Instead, seeing that me and Dr. Crute were getting along, he actually gave me to Dr.Crute and a team of researchers. They were given instructions to try and find useful applications for my abilities and for the first time Altru laid some ground rules about my treatment. I was not to be purposely tortured or punished for anything that didn’t warrant punishment. Tests were to be solely for advancement of the empire and the first round of tests should be for finding useful applications.
I was pleasantly surprised. I thought I lost my human rights, when did I get some back? I asked but Altru just sighed and said someone was looking over me. I took that as a sarcastic way of saying the goddess was looking down at me and just accepted that being a blood bag for two weeks had increased my favorability from ‘hated enemy’ to ‘tolerated heretic’.
Dr. Crute was pleasantly surprised and immediately brought some of the assistants who were currently working with him and moved them and me into the research wing of the palace. Crute was mostly focused on biology and medicine so other experts were brought in for the experiments. There were many researchers but only the active ones stood out to me. There was a man focused on a field called ‘Gift Research’ which actively documented abilities of special individuals. He was a hardy looking man who never showed any emotion and rarely spoke. There was another who was focused on a wider study of biology than Dr. Crute who never shut up about plants and how wonderful they were. I honestly did not know, or care to know, half the facts about plants that he shared while conducting experiments. There was a researcher who solely focused on holy studies, the study of gods and their powers. She quickly lost interest in me when she found that my power had no discernable holy power in it, meaning it was indeed not a gift from a god. At least she was only interested in solely the research aspect of holy power and wasn’t a devout follower herself, so she was more neutral towards me than expected.
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Last, but certainly not least, was Roland Black. He was there for research concerning magic and energy. He was interested in where I got the power to regrow cells from if the energy did not come from my own mana or nutrients. Besides Crute, Black was the friendliest of the bunch. We chatted about many things and I learned a lot from him while he was experimenting. The biggest downside to having our nice ‘chats’ was that he was also the most dedicated to research and conducted the most thorough experiments so they were either very long, arduous, painful, or a mix of all three.
Now with me saying that I was bored and then turning around and saying I was learning a lot you might ask yourself why that sounds like a contradiction. This was thanks to a joint experiment of Black and Crute that tested the limits of human cognition. There was a drug that had been developed in the empire many years ago that used supplements to directly infuse mana into the brain to improve its functions. While this sounds great it puts so much stress on the brain that it slowly breaks down and stops functioning a few days after the drug is administered. The medicine was seen as a huge advancement opportunity for military use but was unable to even get tested thanks to the side effects. While my power would actively try to expel poisons and outright harmful chemicals, it usually only identified them as such when they started causing damage which was late enough for most drugs to take effect and didn’t affect things that didn’t cause outright damage. This all meant that I was a very good lab rat for ‘medicines’.
I got multiple doses of this drug and the effects were very apparent. My cognition sped up a great deal and I was able to process a lot of information about my surroundings I couldn’t notice before. My brain also healed faster than it broke down so it essentially just gave me a nasty headache (SPU 1.8). Unfortunately the worst side effect was not the pain. With all of my processing power sped up it felt like everything around me slowed down. They never determined if this was actually because my consciousness was sped up or if it simply felt that way with so much information flowing into my head. Either way it was miserable.
That was one of the first experiments they ran and the tests after that were worse because of it. A needle drawing blood felt like it took ages to enter my skin and I felt its every movement under my skin whether I wanted to or not. A single week of experiments felt like a month dragging by. While Black and Crute were cordial to me the whole time, I developed strong feelings of hate for them because of this experiment.
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I didn’t understand a lot of the other experiments that they ran but the final results came in one by one.
Holy Power was non-existent- no application to holy research.
Magic was not involved in the process- no application in the field of magic research.
Power was interesting but basically a grouping of regenerative powers seen in other people or creatures- low research potential in ‘gift research’.
Energy source could not be tracked with any known method, source of energy for regeneration power unknown- research in the energy field blocked.
Interesting research could be conducted for medical purposes but foreign materials are all eventually expelled meaning only regenerative properties or medical resource generation (blood, limbs, organs) would be useful research- medium potential in biology research.
All in all I was a poor research subject. The use of my power was not varied enough for any department to take specific interest and none felt that I was research material worth spending funds on in the long run except for Dr. Crute who felt that medicine effect and side effect research would be a worthy use of my power and worth investing in. But even Crute stated that it was only slightly better than animal testing.
Altru was noticeably disappointed upon reading the reports. His face looked more tired than when we first met and he looked less clean cut and more haggard by the day. Apparently he was stressed out. Boo hoo Altru, you have my condolences.
Altru muttered as he continued scanning the reports.
“Are we really not able to get good use out of such a rare power? I was certain that a team like this could find something….”
“Guess I’m useless Altru, such a shame. The great goddess will be so disappointed in you for not getting more out of her loving heretic.”
All the researchers rolled their eyes, long having gotten used to me. The only benefit of increased cognition is more time to think of sarcastic comebacks and words of spite in the middle of a conversation. As well as, the empire would find out later, perfect memory of things like magic engravings that the researchers were using.
“Sigh… well Tony I guess it’s come down to the last option. How would you like to see your friends again?”
“What?!”
I was pretty thrown off, where did this come from? Why am I suddenly going back to see everyone else? I wasn’t really connecting the dots here.
Seeing the confusion on my face Altru shrugged.
“With all other ways to use you off the table or just generally not useful we will have to use you as a military asset, in which case you will need training. There is already a training program put together for the other transfers from your planet so the best solution is simply to dump you with them.
Maybe it’ll also get May off my back”
That last part was a whisper but I still heard it. I guess May has been giving him hell. Maybe that’s why he looks so tired?
Good job May!
It felt bizarre that I was just going to go back with the others like it's normal after all the weird shit I’d been through the past…. Month? Hard to keep track at this point. Though if I remembered right Altru was going to try and give other people options but I was pre-defined as a ‘military asset’. Guess I don’t get a choice which makes sense after everything else that has happened.
Still though…. I guess we’re going back to square one? Back to fighting the demons?
Do…. do I even want to help the empire beat the demons?
I know I might not get a choice but I’m sure that in war there will always be chances to defect…
Of course it was like Altru read my thoughts.
“Oh I almost forgot. Black, can you get the device?”
Oh goodie more toys…
Black came over with a collar that he strapped around my neck. He then started drawing a spell around the opening and it automatically tightened to my neck with no seam.
“So what does this do, blow up my head if I disobey?”
I gave a mirthless chuckle and looked up to see Altru not laughing at all.
“That’s exactly what it does Tony.”
Oh… fuck.
“Didn’t the goddess tell you not to kill me?”
“Honestly Tony we’re not sure the collar will actually kill you with your abilities, but either way we can’t have you running off. If you can recover your whole head we can still go to pick you up while you’re regenerating. I’ve also gotten permission from the church to keep you ‘safe’ in the empire’s hands by any means necessary.”
There is never a dull moment is there.
“Question.”
“What?”
“If I gave you a nice warm hug from the bottom of my heart for your hospitality when the collar went off, could it kill you?”
Altru and everyone in the room went quiet for a moment.
“Purely theoretical question of course.”
Altru gave a small smile and a chuckle after regaining his composure.
“Good question.”
Without answering, Altru turned and left the room.
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