Being a dolphin is A- Freaking- Mazing.

So you know how all those people say dolphins are so smart, they're almost as smart as humans, blah blah blah? Well guess what. 'Cause I know I couldn't. Dolphins aren't just as smart as humans. Dolphins... are humans! Reincarnations of humans! Apparently they're one of the selections for your last in the chain, along with many others such as cats, flitterstuffs (the apparent proper universal name for fairies), and cockroaches. I guess they let you be a cockroach in case your superpower is spite, but I digress.

Man, it is the best down here. When you're a dolphin, you ain't got to do anything. Well, except fight sharks. Oh, by the way, I forgot to mention, you can fight sharks! How freaking amazing is that? Those sharp-toothed bastards don't stand a chance against our superior minds and extremely sexy, powerful bodies. But yeah, you just swim around, eat, play with humans, it's great.

Not only that, but when you're human, getting magic is either a matter of luck, charisma, or dedication, of which I obviously had tons, I just didn't want to go through all the trouble and leave less magic for everyone else...

But as a dolphin? Free magic package, baby! You get a few support spells built in, if you're lucky a psychic attack (again, I didn't want to be greedy), all sorts of stuff! Most of it is invisible and passive, but that just makes it cooler in my mind. Not only am I a majestic freaking magical animal, I can do it without even thinking! Hey human, having trouble breathing? Let me just be in your general vicinity and give you five more minutes of air time. Also, grab my sexy dorsal fin and let's bust this joint.

Oh, and by the way, you'll never guess what my friend Roger showed me the other day. Surfing. That's right, dolphins can surf, if you put your back into it. A bit weird to swim upside down, but the results speak for themselves. Now, when I was a human, I was always afraid of surfing, on account of the sharks and all, but now? I fight sharks for breakfast, baby.

Like, literally. Sometimes they go for our food and we gotta just be like, nah bro, get out of here.

So that's what I've been doing lately. It's pretty great. Today I'm waiting for a wave to come so I can ride it with my buddies. You should see the humans' faces when they see a wave with seven dolphins floating on it upside down. Freaking blows their mind.

Oh, you know what else is amazing? The food! I can't believe I forgot to mention the food. So, you'd think unseasoned fish would be the most bland, annoying thing in the world to eat, right? Well believe it or not, dolphins have like, a few thousand more taste buds than humans. That or the passive magic makes it feel that way. Because every single thing I eat is ten thousand times more delicious than as a human. Yeah, I've eaten sand, and it was a decent snack. A decent snack! Sand! So when you get an actual piece of meat in your mouth, or seaweed for miss vegan over there, it just blows your mind every single time.

Sharks are bitter, but nicely salty, though their rubbery skin makes it not really worth killing them specifically to eat. Probably better that way, it's more fun to fight them for food than to fight them to be food. Rest in peace, Maurice.

Oh hey, that wave felt pretty good. "Hey Devon, I think a good one's coming!"

"Yeah, I can see it on the horizon. This is gonna be a good one!"

"Alright, stuff your blow hole, it's go time!"

As the wave comes up, I like to take a moment to appreciate the situation I'm in. Hanging out with a few friends, swimming in the ocean with not a care in the world, about to take on a huge wave like it's nothing, with absolutely no repercussions should I biff it. Life is good.

Then the wave strikes, and I'm in heaven. Literally. The wave lifts you ten to fifty feet off the ocean's surface, and as you float upside down that far over what is essentially your world, it feels like you're weightless. Like you could just swim right down into the infinite sky, the forbidden sea, and live for eternity among the flitterstuffs of heaven...

And then you land, bringing you back to sea. If it was earth this would bring painful realization, but nah, since it's water, it's more like a gentle caress into reality, followed by a swift strike to the head by a large wooden object.

Wait... That's not normmmmammall... Oh no...

I ddon't thiiing that bowat reel lies'd ddat waiv wus cariyng mammls.

I dun blaem dem... Wee'nn bee purry sealthy suhmthymez...Eye juss will seee thum into teh nest lyf... Where all be-a... Fluttrduf...

Wait, wasn't this my last life? I wonder what comes next. Maybe an angel. Yeah... I've always wanted to guide people in the ocean as long as I've been a dolphin. Why not guide people in life as a spirit?

It almost feels like I'm already there.