1841

~Tove

I rush up to the room, pressing my back against the closed door.

This may be wrong, but I need to get out of here...just for a bit. I need to think this over, and more importantly, I need to determine whether I am safe to come back her.

Keo may have changed, but it is my life I am gambling with. I need to be careful.

I have no bag, so I make quick work of pulling clothes from the dresser, piling them into a sheet I lay out on the floor. Once it is full of all that I will need, I wrap it up and tie it until I'm satisfied it won't come apart as I make a break for it.

From there, I'll get my bearings, Mary, and then I'll leave again before Keo can catch up to me.

I just need to find a train station before dawn. Then, Keo will wake, and expect me to be down for breakfast.

Just as I turn to choose an outfit that will be appropriate for running through the night, the door to the bedroom opens tentatively.

I practically throw myself as far from the dresser as possible.

Keo leans against the doorframe, folding his arms over his chest. My heart thunders against my chest, wondering if I've been caught.

"Something didn't feel right before," he murmurs, looking at me past thick, dark eyelashes. "I wanted to finish the conversation."

Attempting to calm my breathing, I turn back to the dresser, puling out some bed clothes, trying to make it seem like I was just preparing for bed, and not packing to make a run for it.

"I'm tired, Keo," I mutter.

He watches me for a long moment, tense and uncertain. "Come on, talk to me."

I whirl around. "I told you, I had a headache earlier and needed a break. Now, I want to get a long nights sleep before I start training again tomorrow."

He still doesn't look convinced. For once, I wish he would just brush something under the rug and worry about it tomorrow.

His eyes narrow ever so slightly before he strides toward me. For a brief moment I have no idea what he is doing, until he grabs either side of my face and draws my lips to his.

I still, fighting through the shock that has overcome me.

My senses don't truly come back to me, as I allow him to kiss me. In fact, I start kissing him back, enjoying his lips against mine a little too much.

He presses me back a few steps until my legs hit the bed, and then I'm falling back onto it. He stands over me, breathing rapidly.

"Tell me what's going on," he demands.

"Why did you kiss me?" I ask breathlessly. More importantly, why did I let him?

"Something is wrong, I can tell. I can feel it."

His eyes suddenly drag to right beside where I lie, noting the tied up sheet that obviously has something bundled up within it. He frowns, reaching for it, but on instinct, I block his arm.

He frowns. "What are you hiding?"

"It's nothing," I stammer, scooping it up into my arms before getting up, backing away from him. He doesn't advance on me, he just watches me suspiciously, knowing my poor excuse isn't going to get me out of this.

"You're running away, aren't you?"

His expression betrays nothing, but even he can't fight away the hurt that comes through in his voice.

There's no chance I'm going to be able to get out of this. No excuse will make this easier, either, so I'm going to have to come clean.

"I need to get away to think for a bit," I tell him.

He swallows tightly, looking between me and the sheet full of clothes that I'm hugging to my chest. "Is this because you don't want to be mated to me?"

I wince. Being his mate is no longer the focal point of my concern, and the physical connection between us is most definitely not lacking in any way.

"It's more than that," I tell him tentatively. "I found something."

He blinks, clearly confused. "Such as?"

"A folder...it had all this information about me, about my life and what use I would be to you," I explain, dumping the pile of clothes and the sheet on the bed, figuring I'm not getting out of here tonight unless I ask Keo to take me elsewhere.

He sweeps his hand back through his hair. "I gathered that information in the beginning to determine whether you were right for this...so much went into deciding that."

I can understand that, because this mission is important to him. Bring an Angel-blood into his world, exposing them to his plans was a risk for him, and he chose me carefully.

But that doesn't change what he is planning to do to me once he is done with me.

"Do you still plan to kill me once I've done this for you?" I question. I'm not leaving anything to chance. I'm going to confront him now and get answers.

He closes his eyes for a moment, sighs, then sinks down to sit on the edge of the bed.

"No, Tove. I am not going to kill you," he mutters, shaking his head at me. He sounds a little offended that I would even bring it up.

"Apparently you were going to, before you found out I was your mate," I point out. He can't deny that letter. I won't allow it.

His brows crease together. "Finding out you are my mate has changed everything. The moment I first touched you and knew, I realised how little this mission has meant to be compared to your wellbeing."

I take a step back. "So you admit it. You were going to kill me."

Again, his expression is impossible to read. He's choosing his words carefully, trying not to upset me more than I already am.

"I wasn't sure about my plan. I wanted to see what you were like, to see if you could be trusted," he assures me.

"And if I hadn't been trustworthy, you would have killed me?"

He seems to genuinely consider my question. For someone who is so ahead of everyone at all times, I'm surprised he hasn't thought this out in more detail. I suppose when you have all the power in the world, you don't need to think too deeply about what threats may come.

"Yes, I would have killed you," he decides. "Protecting my people, those who have been hurt for too long already, is more important to me than preserving the life of an untrustworthy person who I imagined I would have worked with for years."

My stomach twists. The truth. Laid out for me to deal with.

He stands, towering over me. "But you must know, I knew from the moment I met you that I would never hurt you. You weren't the kind of person to betray those in need, so the thought of killing you never crossed my mind since we met in that restaurant."

"Why should I believe you? Why should I be with someone who is willing to kill?"

"I won't apologise for being willing to kill to save my people. I've done it before, and I will continue to," he exclaims. "And you should believe me, because I have no reason to lie to you."

My shoulders deflate, and suddenly I feel weak. What I got so worked up about seems to have vanished into the wind, seeming less and less convincing as time passes.

"I mean, come on Tove, you obviously don't trust me. What do I have to do?" He asks hopelessly.

I squeeze my eyes shut. "I know, Relm is getting into my head. I feel like I'm going crazy."

He grabs my arm, guiding me to sit down on the bed.

"You've been talking to Relm?" he questions. He doesn't sound angry, at least at me. I realise suddenly that I should have confronted him about this first. I was just so overwhelmed and didn't know who to trust."

"He makes some compelling points, you know," I tell him, shrugging. "He told me a lot of people are at risk of being hurt if you bring Demon's there."

"Relm is a man who doesn't take risks. He has no idea what may happen because this has never happened before," Keo tells me.

He isn't trying to convince me, this is what he believes. I want to believe it as ardently as he does, because I don't want anyone to get hurt.

"Relm seems to think you are aware of the dangers."

"I'm no fool, of course there may be dangers." He entwines his fingers in mine. "But how can we know until we try?"

"And then what? What if people are hurt from this?" I ask, afraid of the answer.

He tilts his head to the side, a little smile touching the corner of his lips. "If you are so certain something will go wrong, perhaps we can test it before we go. You can bring Wren over to the new realm, and if it goes well, then we proceed."

"And if it doesn't?"

"Then we don't do it," he says simply.

My brows raise. It can't be that simple...he can't be willing to concede so easily when he has been working on this for years.

And yet for the first time in a long time, looking into his eyes, I know for sure that he isn't lying.

I look toward the sheet filled with clothes, and burst out laughing. "I can't believe I nearly run away."

Keo laughs softly. "As if I wouldn't find you."

"What is wrong with me?" I question, throwing my hands up hopelessly. I feel weak and tired now, ready to curl up under the covers and sleep for days.

He shrugs. "I think part of you is afraid to commit to me. I understand, though."

"It's not because you're not a good mate, because I imagine you're the best. I just need to let myself experience it," I admit. It feels good to be honest, to not feel judged as I talk to him.

"Don't be offended, but I'm sleeping in here tonight," he decides, pulling his shirt off as he rounds the bed.

I raise my brows. I want to say that I'm not going to run away now, that I've gotten over my initial panic, but I don't want him to go. I want to lay next to him in bed all night and know he isn't going anywhere.

And most importantly, I don't want to think about any doubt that I should be having.

So I nod. "Sure. I would like that."

🤎🤎

~Midika 💜🐼