It's not like Astrid was expecting a message from the dark-haired boy every hour. She didn't want a step-by-step of his day or to know what he ate for tea.

She didn't even need a conversation, just a message.

To let her know how it was going, although she could clearly see that on his streams.

The message could be anything and it'd settle her. A quick 'hi' or a photo or even just a blank screen. Anything was better than what she currently had - which was nothing.

Dream had left hours ago to sleep, but, despite it being in the early hours for her, she couldn't push herself to do the same.

She told herself it was normal, sometimes people just couldn't sleep. But there was this crazy, stupid, love-sick part of her brain that just wouldn't shut up told her it was because he would message.

He'd send her a text letting her know Sapnap had gone back to his hotel and that he had ordered an Uber.

He'd spend hours telling her about his day but she wouldn't mind - any time with him wasn't wasted. She could spend hours watching him speak, how his face moved and eyes brightened, even when he was asleep his face was angelic.

There was something about him that entranced her. That pulled her in months ago and hadn't let her go, like a riptide hanging onto her every limb and pulling her into his deepest ocean.

And somehow she knew that even when he left, when he got on a plane and had experiences outside of anything she'd ever known, the tide would not let her swim to the top.

If anything it'd drag her down deeper, hold onto her with all its might until the air left her lungs and water encased her.

She'd always assumed he'd be the one to save her.

Her knight in shining armour that would show up at the very last second, let her know that nobody was more important, that plans he had made years ago were interrupted by merely meeting her.

But she knew life was no fairytale, and that the waters she was forced to swim in were not full of mermaids and singing fish but sharks and pirates that wanted to rip her limb from limb - if the water itself didn't get there first.

Drowning.

That's what she felt.

No breath in her lungs, as if he was the oxygen she craved so dearly.

And it terrified her.

Nobody should be relied on so heavily that they become your very reason for living, especially not somebody who had plans to leave at a moment's notice.

Plans older than their relationship and on a higher shelf in his mind.

George had an idea for how the rest of his twenties would go.

No wedding bells or white picket fence, instead his two best friends filled that picture.

They had always wanted different things and she knew that, he had made it quite clear and she couldn't be angry at him.

How could she?

For now, she had to nurture what they had. What they could lose at a moment's notice.

A hand raised to wipe at her cheeks; she'd barely even registered that she was crying.

Love shouldn't feel like this, but it does.

A drug that left her scavenging for her next hook-up, shooting through her veins with dopamine running beside it.

But soon that drug would be gone.

She'd have no access and the come down would be grave. A hole nobody could dig her out of but the one who put her in there in the first place.

Her phone lit up, an alarm blaring.

11 am.

She ventured a look, no message, her heart sunk.

And he terrified her.

——————

Written: 12th February 2023

Published: 9th March 2023

Idek if this is any good just forced myself to write and this happened hehe

Also I will try and write more, have a new chapter in the works rn

And I'm nearly at 1k followers so like,,, follow me : ) And vote