The task to find Bags of Holding was mostly a bust. Only three were found, a Purse of Holding (a deep red velvet affair), a Briefcase of Holding (with straps included), and a small, pink Backpack of Holding. After Wolfgang identified them, Prof wasn't exactly pleased.

Classy Velvet Purse of Holding

Material: Deep red velvet with a silk string

Quality: Rare

Properties: outside volume 500 cm3, inside volume 1.200 cm3, weight reduction 50%

Fancy Leather Briefcase of Holding

Material: Wyvern leather with brass fittings and buffalo leather straps

Quality: Rare

Properties: outside volume 12.500 cm3, inside volume 50.000 cm3, weight reduction 25%

Girly Backpack of Holding

Material: Pigwool body with silk lining, silver fittings, and buffalo leather straps

Quality: Rare

Properties: outside volume 15.000 cm3, inside volume 45.000 cm3, weight reduction 33%

Unfortunately, Wolfgang was unable to unlock Guillermo's bag, so they had access to only four, the fourth being Foxy's Belly Bag. Mini probably still had room in hers, but still refused to let them use it for anything.

The total of 96.200 cm3 – that is, 96 liters – seemed as much at the first glance, but in reality, it wasn't. That was actually less than a single largish touring backpack and much less than one of the large ones, people routinely used for extended stays in the woods. Even counting their own surviving backpack, saddlebags and such – and not even half survived the Hags' attention – they were looking at something like 300-350 liters of capacity. Sure, they could bind weapons together, and affix those and other things to the outside of their packs or simply hang it on their backs, but even so, they wouldn't even make a dent into the hoard.

In fact, even after two days of checking, they haven’t managed to sort the piles into magical and mundane stuff. Barely a quarter was done.

Wolfgang was hard at work to provide them with safe clothing, but when the sun set, he had only identified those Bianca, Prof, and Wolfgang indicated as a priority because of their approximately good sizes. Being stylish was a priority only for Mini, the others didn't really care about that, as long the clothing more or less fit and they weren't saddled with a curse.

For example a pair of shorts that made the wearer horny.

Prof quietly disposed of that particular piece before Mini became aware of it. Everyone agreed, it was a terrible idea to let the Vampire know of its existence.

The useful and fitting clothing articles were an eclectic collection. Although Prof got shoes, a shirt, and a cap (including a tassel!), they were… not exactly his style.

Blue Suede Shoes of Dancing

Material: Dire Deer leather with silk strings

Quality: Uncommon

Properties: +25% to [Dancing], +10% to [Party] and it is 10% more likely to get laid

Lumberjack’s Plaid Shirt

Material: Flannel with buck-bone buttons

Quality: Common

Properties: +10% to [Carpenter], +10% to [Woodcutting], keeps the wearer warm till -10 degrees

Wool Nightcap of Insomnia

Material: Common Wool

Quality: Common

Properties: +15% Resistance to [Magic: Sleep]. Minor Durability.

It was off-white, decorated with little brown deer. Just fantastic.

Bianca wasn't luckier in getting clothes, either. She got sandals (with a bonus against setting traps off), a deep blue, knee-length skirt with white trim (which made her more liked by strangers and gave a bonus to singing), and a frilly shirt with puffed sleeves and high collar and done in a leopard-pattern (it made animals act friendly and gave bonuses to handling them). Since there wasn't any underwear around – at least ones Bianca was ready to equip – she elected to keep the chain bikini on. It was extra armor if nothing else.

Out of the three people seriously challenged in the clothing department, Wolfgang was the luckiest. Probably, because he was an Orc and they were in a Greenskin town with stuff made for an Orc's proportions. Lucky not in the sense that he got actually useful stuff, but he at least wasn't looking like someone clothed by a badly run, poor charity. The snakeskin boots went well with his newish grey denim-like trousers and a dark green sweatshirt. Between the gear he got better at riding, using a bow from horseback, digging holes, and making rugs.

It took Mini ten minutes to stop laughing when she returned. She was laughing so hard, anyone who did breathing for survival and not just convenience would have suffocated. Laughing about poor, impoverished people who could not spend their tons of currency in the nearest tailor was just cruel. Especially, when the person doing the laughing was incapable to wear normal clothes.

But then again, even her Character Parchment said, she was Cruel…

Speaking of Mini. She was hunting the whole day, but only managed to bring back a medium-sized rabbit, a few birds, and a carp. When she was done laughing, she flipped the birds to Prof and started laughing again – he was certain, flipping the bird wasn't a saying in Bergian or Elven, so didn't get the joke.

During her hunting trip, Mini also found where the Hags dumped the items they did not want. It was a waste pit, so toxic, that even the highest quality items were degraded into uselessness. She could confirm it, she managed to fish the Elf Archer’s fancy – and expensive – bow out of the sludge. It was more or less destroyed, despite sitting there for only a few days.

So much for salvaging anything worthwhile.

Nonetheless, it was barbarism. Perfectly good – and very much expensive, thank you very much – stuff gets destroyed just because it wasn't made out of precious metals or was magical? Prof actually liked his axes and that fancy bow! Two thousand units of a developed Earth country's currency of your choice went into shit for no good reason at all! Prof started to really hate Brook Hags. Stealing valuable stuff from innocent adventurers and then just destroying it was evil! In a famous fiction from Earth, it was all right to blow up a planet, but even the Evil Emperor respected private property!

The bottom line was that they now definitely needed new armor and weapons. At least they had a huge hoard of stuff where the previous owners could not raise any objection to the redistribution of wealth. If no one was alive to say otherwise, it wasn't stealing but retrieval of lost property. He would even make sure, some found their way into a museum where they belonged.

If you are wondering, if Prof was a hypocrite, the answer is a resounding nope. There is a clear difference between killing under-developed folks off and selling the proceeds to the last nail for profit and getting raided by evil hags who just destroy everything. Human society (and obviously the Elven one too) was built on the former, those that tried the latter were simply destroyed for the Greater Good of Humanity (Elvenkind).

OK, maybe Prof was a hypocrite, but not more than most Humans. And most likely less than the average Elf.

Back on topic. Looting.

Prof was certain, he saw some nice one-handed axes somewhere in the piles and decided to look for them again first thing in the morning. Hopefully, they were actually useful and didn't just give bonuses for say, [Gardening], [Woodcutting], or [Swimming]. A nice mythical quality axe that doubled his Stats and killed everything he looked at would be awesome!

He made the mistake of telling Mini about his hopes.

After she stopped laughing, she informed him that, firstly, magical items almost never gave bonuses to Stats, certainly no weapons or armor. Secondly, killing everything he looked at would be inconvenient, mostly because he could not look at her gorgeous self anymore. Thirdly, he was an idiot, who should learn how Arkadia worked.

Prof aggravated the situation by voicing his dilemma if it would be a good idea to get full plate armor. He saw one at the back of one of the rooms that were more or less his size.

After Mini (and Bianca and Wolfgang, who both joined in the fun) stopped laughing, he was informed, that unless he had at least 100% in [Heavy Armour], trying to walk around and fight in heavy armor would lead to more problems than going without. He was geared toward speed and curtailing which would most likely lead to his demise. Even Bianca, who was the closest to a tank (or a wall, as they were called on Arkadia, no one having invented tanks yet) they had, had less than 50% in the Skill and was dismissive to use heavy armor herself.

Prof felt like he was reduced to comedic relief. Actually, he felt like he was reduced to the marginally funny sidekick of the Main Character in a not-really-well-written fiction on the Earth-internet. The only question was, who the Main Character in the story actually was. Probably Binky, he was the most overpowered one he met since coming to Arkadia. Maybe Wolfgang with his legendary quest to bring metal back to Arkadia.

Definitely not Mini, though. The story would have degraded into a harem troupe loooong ago.

But waaaaait a second!

Only Mini got laid in the last few months and potential love interests for her were constantly popping up! All right, "potential love interest" meant in relation to Mini "more-or-less breathes", so that wasn't exactly narrowing things down, but still.

Was Prof turning into the funny sidekick of a crazy, nymphomaniac Vampire?

Prof vowed to himself to be more proactive in the future, not to be accused to be a passive character in his own story.