Authors note: the return of an OC that no one asked for. 

"Mom, I'm going out to play!" A small demon boy said as he ran out the door into the pits of burning and screaming souls.

"Okay, but don't let the neo-nazis near you." His mother yelled after him.

"I won't," Timmy said as he ran with a grenade in hand. He ran past the burning pits of screaming souls, trampling several neo-nazis stuff along the way.

This area was kind of a fixer-upper, with floors made of bones, and the screams of nazis filling the air. The trees were made out of human skin and fully grown, so no need to worry about paving issues on the streets. The best part was the wonderful stench of decay on the air at all times. It's the perfect place to go on vacation if you're the evil type.

Timmy laughed as he tossed a human skull into a pit of flames, but suddenly stopped when he saw another young boy sitting on top of a pile of bones.

"Fucking asshole." The boy muttered as he recalled his judgment. The church was full of a bunch of racists, and besides, he didn't mean for them to be trapped inside when he set it on fire. Then again he also didn't mean to run into traffic while running from the police either, today really just wasn't his day.

"What's wrong?" Timmy asked as he walked up to the mildly upset boy.

"I just died, and now I'm stuck in hell just for giving some assholes what they deserve!" The boy snapped as he kicked a few bones on the ground. He was not looking forward to walking around hell looking for a nice place to build a house.

"Why don't you just haunt the overworld?" Timmy asked.

"What?" The boy asked.

"It's easy, you just look for one of those portal thingies, and then haunt somewhere nice," Timmy explained. "People do that all time when they're here for stupid reasons. You only really deserve to be punished when you're in the fire pits."

"Really?" the boy asked. "Do I get to mess with people on the other side?"

"Totally, I tried to conquer the world, but my mom said I can't do that anymore....bitch," Timmy whispered that last part, but out of nowhere his mother came running and suddenly kicked him in the stomach so hard he flew straight into the ceiling.

"Don't talk about me that way!" The woman screamed, demons require tougher love then humans are normally used too. She huffed before looking down and seeing the new kid in town. "Well hello sweetie, what might your name be?"

"Tommy." the boy said. He flinched when Timmy came crashing down from the ceiling several meters away, followed by several hundred stalagmites and what was left of a human leg, damn blood sucking bats.

"Well hello Tommy." the demon woman said. "Why don't you come over to our house, I just finished making a pie!"

"Okay." Tommy smiled.

***

Max, Neil, and Nikki slowly tiptoed to the front of the abandoned store. Considering this mall was literally where stores went to die, yet somehow limp along for ten more years, this place was ancient. This place was literally so old, it had a decrepit 'whites only' sign. That and the door had rotted away, so mall security just taped the place off.

"Alright guys, time to find some ghosts and get rich," Max said as he pulled out a flashlight.

"I thought ghosts don't exist, and hunting them was stupid?!" Nikki asked sarcastically.

"That was before Gwen fucked a fish, a twelve-year-old demon stole Harrison's body, and a fucking alien tried to replace Neil's brain with a squid!" Max snapped at her. "Oh yeah, and Jasper exists too."

"Well, I brought EVP equipment!" Neil said as he pulled out an em detector. "Look it's lighting up, that must mean there are ghosts around."

"You have no idea." A literal fucking ghost says as he stares at the three of them. They couldn't actually see him, but he figured he could haunt them for the hell of it. Tommy decided to explore the living world because he thought he could have a bit of fun messing with living people, now all he has to do is freak them out.

"I will eat your fucking souls!" Tommy yelled as loud as he possibly could.

"Look, it blinked!" Neil said as the em reader went off for half a second.

"Great," Max said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes. "Let's go and find something to piss it off." He held up his flashlight and looked around, as Tommy tried turning into a pair of glowing eyes. Max walked straight through him as he looked around the old store.

"Maybe there's something in this display rack!" Nikki said as she dug through a ton of corsets and yanked one out. "What are these for?"

"Those are corsets," Neil explained. "They're designed to make women look thinner."

"Cool, like a jaguar!" Nikki said. "Tie me up!" She yanked it over her chest.

"Lets split up, that's always the dumbest thing you could possibly do in the horror movies," Max said as he walked away from the group. He walked into the back room where most of their stuff was in storage.

***

Tommy snuck up behind Nikki as an evil idea came to mind. If he killed some more people, then he could have even more friends in hell. Timmy was nice, but shoving hot pokers up nazi assholes gets boring. He grabbed hold of the strings and yanked suddenly, only for them to snap and do absolutely nothing.

"Hey Nikki, this one's broken," Neil said as he pointed to her back.

"Oh well, It feels wrong to dress up all girly anyway," Nikki said as she took it off. She grabbed an antique sword and smiled as she started fencing with a mannequin.

"So I'll just posses the mannequin, and take that sword and shove it up your...."

"We should do a seance!" Neil suggested.

"I wanna win the fight first!" Nikki said as she stabbed the mannequin straight in the dick. Tommy fell out of the mannequin will holding his crotch with tears in his eyes.

"You bitch!" Tommy said as he tried to recover from what felt like a having a sword shoved where it never should be shoved.

He wondered if karma just had a way of transcending life and death. He did burn down a church with a ton of people inside it. They were really racist, but it was still kinda fucked up for a ten-year-old to burn them to death. Maybe he was just being punished because doesn't feel bad about it. They were really racist, like seriously, the grand wizard of the Ku Klux Klan visited sometimes.

"Let's try the backroom with Max," Neil suggested.

***

Max looked through the shelves to see if anything even remotely useful may be hidden somewhere. It was abandoned, so he figured he could salvage something cool if he tried hard enough. He stopped when he realized a large box of dildos was just sitting on the shelf.

"Why does everything old look like torture equipment?" Max said as he looked at the dildos. They were all made of splintering wood, with bits and pieces broken all over the place. There was also a metal one with spikes. People back then were really fucked up.

"I'll show you a dildo!" Tommy said as he grabbed one and made it fly over Max's head.

"Shit," Max said as he looked at the floating dildo. "They never show ghost rape in documentaries."

"What?" Tommy asked.

"And it's used...." Max pointed out.

"Wait what?!" Tommy asked as he dropped the horrific piece of wood.

"Gotcha moron," Max said as he turned away and looked around the room for the ghost. "Now where are you?"

"I'm over here!" Tommy said as he grabbed a two by four and threw it at the back of Max's head. Max kneeled down and picked up and object narrowly avoiding the piece of wood, which crashed into a pile of pillows.

"Nice watch," Max said as he held it up, not noticing the piece of wood.

"Seriously?" Tommy asked annoyed as he looked at the boy who couldn't see him. How was he supposed to scare him if it was all just a big joke to him?

"Is this what you want?" Max asked as he held up the watch.

"I wanna watch you die, moron." Tommy said annoyed at being utterly misunderstood and ignored.

"Hey, Max!" Neil yelled suddenly, he was expecting Max to jump, but he just turned and looked at him with an annoyed gaze.

"Don't be so loud, you'll scare away the ghosts," Max said.

"I'm not a fucking pussy!" Tommy yelled. "You're the moron who thinks I'm trying to rape you!" Tommy suddenly looked puzzled as he wondered why Max wasn't even phased by that.

"Sorry," Neil said as he looked around. "Eww, what are those for?" He said as he pointed at the big box full of objects ten-year-olds should know nothing about.

"There the ghosts playthings," Max replied. "He's a total fucking pedo."

"Screw you, you're the one who touched them in the first place," Tommy said annoyed.

"Interesting...." Neil said. ".....maybe we can use them to lure it out?"

"You can try, but I wouldn't touch those if I were you," Max said as he walked away. Neil yanked his hand away and followed Max as they explored the storage room.

***

Preston, Dolph, and Nerris all stood outside the abandoned store. Max called them to have them all meet at the store for ghost hunting. He also wanted to fuck with them by going in first and setting some stuff up.

"I wonder were Max and the others are," Dolph said out loud as he looked at the spooky entrance to the building. All the campers were supposed to meet there, but Max gave them different times to fuck with em.

"I think it would make a wonderful setting for a Shakespearean style play," Preston said. "If we set up some chairs, we could craft a beautifully written play produced and directed by....."

"Silence Preston," Nerris said. "This is obviously the lair of an evil wizard."

"Let's go inside," Dolph said. "I want to see if mein ancestors are still around."

"I met them," Tommy said as he stood in the doorway. "They were.....screaming."

Preston, Dolph, and Nerris walked into the main shopping area, with Nerris holding up her foam sword. She looked around with suspicion before making a dice roll for something stupid.

"There's definitely some arcana around here," Nerris said.

"You have no idea," Tommy said. He considered a few delicious ideas to mess with them but was coming up empty, and that really bugged him. He kinda wished he still had his lighter, but being a pyro just isn't fun when you can't get arrested.

Tommy suddenly had an idea as he noticed a large box of opened oil cans on the top shelf. Which is kind of weird thing to just so happen to be there, but let's not look too deeply into it. He waited until the girly one stepped under it and pushed it off all at once, dousing them in oil.

"Eww," Preston said as he was splashed with oil.

"You should be more careful Preston, the dark arcana is everywhere!" Nerris said.

"I really need to take a shower."

"You can use mein shower," Dolph said. "Mein house is the closest."

"I....don't think I will," Preston said as he took a step away from Dolph.

Suddenly a large hooded figure dropped down from the ceiling and screamed at them. Preston screamed like a girl, while Dolph simply gasped, Nerris reacted by throwing dice out of reflex. Max took off the hood and laughed.

"You should have seen your faces," Max said with tears in his eyes. "And Preston still screams like a girl!"

"I did not scream like a girl," Preston yelled in Max's face.

"Tell that to Jason over there," Max said as he pointed.

Preston turned his face and screamed again as Nikki in a hockey mask and a chainsaw jumped into his face. They both came crashing to the ground as Preston struggled against Nikki who was getting just a little too into it.

"You'd think that messing with people gets old eventually, but this shit never does," Max said laughing at Preston's terror.

"That's not very nice Max." Dolph pointed out.

"Fucking notice me, you morons!" Tommy yelled as he tried to grab or punch someone, but for some reason lacked the energy.

"Did you bring the stuff for the seance?" Max asked.

"Here it is," Nerris said. "And you'll be very happy to know that I have a plus one proficiency bonus in...."

"Yeah yeah, whatever," Max said as he brushed her off.

He lead the group to the center of the store and forced them all to sit in a circle. He then pulled out some incense and lit it in the center of them.

"You should wear the turban too!" Nerris said.

"You wear it, I'm not a moron," Max said as he pulled out a crystal ball.

Nerris threw the turban away and they all relaxed for a moment before joining hands.

"I hope this works as well as last time," Preston said.

"Shut up Preston," Max said, he took a deep breath before opening his eyes. "Satan, show up and let me take pictures!"

"Dumbass," Tommy said as he stared at the group.

"Maybe we're not focusing enough?" Nerris suggested.

"Everyone close their eyes and focus," Max ordered them. They all did as they were told, and Tommy got an idea.

Tommy lifted several objects over there head and circled them around as they all sat in silence. They opened their eyes and he let go of the items all at once but groaned when they all got caught on a chandelier.

"I guess it didn't work," Nerris said. "Are you sure you don't want me to use my....."

"Shut up Nerris, we'll just prod the ghosts some other way," Max said as he stood up off the ground and dusted himself off.

"Come on, it was right above you!" Tommy said annoyed. He groaned as the group all went to the backroom again.

***

David walked into the backroom with a knock on the door. He wanted to make sure Max was eating, so he picked up some lunch for everyone and went to the haunted store.

"Hey max, I brought you your lunch."

"Thank god, I'm starving," Max said. He spent the last twenty minutes carving demonic symbols into the wall. He figured if he could summon Timmy again and take a picture of him, he could sell it to ghost hunters and drum up some business for the mall.

"Make sure to eat all the peas before you break into the candy bar!" David said.

"I know, fuck off dad," Max replied as he opened up his baggy of food. The other campers came and sat around as David passed around the box full of small baggies of food.

"Have you found anything yet?" David asked.

"No, but ghost hunters never usually find anything for a while," Max replied.

"It's good to know you have the determination to see this project through!" David said with a smile. He thought that if Max really enjoyed this, he might express interest in paranormal studies one day, maybe even become a ghost hunter!

"Hey David, why doesn't mine have any candy?" Nikki asked.

"Well that's strange, I thought I packed enough," David said as he looked in her baggy of food.

Tommy laughed as his last-ditch effort finally paid off. If he stole the feral ones candy, then he can get her to eat everyone else! It was the perfect plan, and he definitely wasn't doing it just because he was running out of ideas.

"Here, have half of mine," Neil said as he snapped his in half.

"Son of a bitch!" Tommy yelled annoyed.

"Well, I hope you find something to make all your hard work worth it!" David said with a smile. He suddenly frowned when he saw the look of frustration on Max's face. He considered how demoralized Max would be if he didn't find anything! What if he never tried anything ever again?

***

Max stared at the demonic symbol and wondered if he should try and find some blood or something to make it work. A human sacrifice would be extremely helpful right about now.

"Hey, Max." Space kid said as he walked in. Max's face twisted into an evil smile as he grabbed a small knife.

"Boo!" David yelled as he jumped up with a sheet over his head.

"What, I wasn't doing anything!" Max said as he threw the knife away and tried to look natural.

"Boo, I'm a scary ghost!" David said.

"Scary ghost!" Space kid screamed, before running out of the room.

"David, what the fuck are you doing?" Max asked.

"I am not David, I am the spooky ghost that lives here," David said.

"Then run head first into that wall," Max said as he pointed to one of the decrepit walls. "Only a ghost could do that," Max said with an evil grin.

"If it will teach you the value of determination!" David said as he sprinted across the room and slammed into the wall.

Max laughed as David slammed back to the ground with a loud thud. He fell on the floor hysterically laughing as David tried to stand again, but failed and hit the ground several times.

"Fucking moron!" Max said between fits of laughter. David shook his head as he tried to keep up the act.

"Did it work?" David asked dreamily.

"Yea sure, I know the value of determination or whatever," Max said as he walked over. "Thanks, David, that was hilarious."

David smiled at him, before suddenly realizing Max probably knew who he was the whole time and just did that to mess with him. He then set that thought aside, as he figured his costume was foolproof. He then stood up and left knowing that his mission to teach Max determination was done.

"Moron," Tommy said as he watched.

"Hey, fuck you." Max snapped reflexively.

"Wait, you can see me?" Tommy asked.

"Aw shit," Max said as he realized the jig was up. He could see Tommy the whole time, so he decided to spend the day fucking with a ghost. It's not very often you get a chance to mess with an actual ghost.

"You could see me this whole time, what am I?" Tommy asked. "A joke to you?"

"Yes," Max replied.

"Oh..." Tommy said as he didn't expect that answer. It was really disarming.

***

Max walked into the main shopping area with Tommy grumbling behind him. He was really peeved at Max for all his antics.

"Hey Tommy," Max said manipulatively. "You wanna have some real fun?"

"What do you want?" Tommy asked. "And why are you the only one who can see me?"

"Doesn't matter," Max said as he brushed it off. "What does matter, is that my friends can't see you, and If I'm going to convince paranormal investigators this place is haunted, then I'm gonna need a real ghost."

"What do I get out of it?"

"I don't tell my friends about you, and while you mess with them," Max replied with a devious smile. He pulled out his camera and held it up. "All while I film it, then more ghost hunters will show up, and you can mess with them too."

"Deal," Tommy said. "What should I do?"

"Go over to them and start moving shit around," Max said.

***