《QQQQ》Chapter 52 - Demons Will Wither Away

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Me, Rose, Bunny, and Leo were all sitting in Rose’s apartment living room. It still sounded just like the beach. The sound of waves crashing echoed through the small living space, along with a faint (but probably imagined) smell of seasalt. My house wasn’t an appropriate—nor pleasant—place for us to be. It wasn’t exactly a party, but all things considered, the mood could have been significantly worse. Bunny was drawing something on a sketchbook Rose gave her for enrichment, and I was eating doritos out of the bag.

“You’ve been eating a lot lately. Are you a nervous eater?” Rose prodded me.

“Kinda, but I’m not really nervous. It doesn’t feel right, I’m just a little too small.”

“Yeah, there was way less Biologist than there was Mina.”

I elbowed her and kept eating. I’m several pounds lighter than I was, before I died. Thinking about why that is makes me queasy and sad, so I need to fix it soon. That way, I can get a higher percentage of new material in this body, that way I feel less like I’m stealing from Biologist.

The stitches all over my body were itchy. They didn’t hurt, somehow, but all the microscopic nazca lines over my body were red and rashy. I was amazed by how small, and intricate, and fractal the patterns were. They’ll go away soon… maybe.

“You know what would have sucked?” I asked Rose, mouth full of chips.

“What?”

“If Biologist was lactose intolerant. I can’t live without cheese.”

“If she was, would you stop eating dairy?”

“Hm… Probably not.”

Some things about my body were the same as they used to be, but there were some parts of Biologist I was still getting used to. My DNA still matches what it used to be (we checked), but parts of me were just recycled from Biologist. Her muscles are weaker, so I’ll need to start working out more if I want to get back to my past strength. I was thinking about getting a thorough physical and checking to make sure none of Bio’s parts were diseased or malfunctioning, but I decided against it. My skin, if you look at it closely, seriously looks like it has a hedge maze of tiny stitches covering every inch. I think that would probably freak them out.

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“Hey, Mina.”

“Yeah, Buns?”

“Do you remember what she remembers?”

“Hmm… No. She must have completely replaced all her memories with mine. I have no idea how, though.”

Rose quietly spoke up.

“It was like… Like a taffy machine. Her brain folds were unspooling around a knife, until they were beyond paper-thin, right down to the strings of neurons. Then the process reversed, spinning and threading them back through to make a copy of your brain. I guess human brains are just the same thing, folded up and connected in different ways. Like Topology, it’s the shape that’s important—not the contents, as much.”

And then she barfed on the floor.

After cleanup, she decided to go take a nice lie down in her bed. Bunny was kindly tending to her with a cold towel, so I was in the room alone. Everyone was here, except for Biologist, because she doesn’t exist anymore. Or, maybe she technically does, but I’m her now. I died, but now I’m Biologist. And nothing feels different about it at all, minor physicalities aside.

I took another look at my mesmerizing stitches, zig-zagging up and down my arms. These kinda looked like brain folds too, in a way. Maybe I’ll say they’re like the zig-zag pattern on mitochondria, in honor of Biologist. Really, it wasn’t just my brain that was “a few folds away” from hers. It was her whole body, twisted and contorted and frayed and spun until it became a copy of mine. Is that all people are? The same thread tangled in different ways? I mean, isn’t that pretty much all DNA is?

Bunny came back from Rose’s room and sat next to me. She didn’t say anything, though, she was just looking at me. It was kind of intimidating, like she was inspecting to make sure it really was me. I guess animal instincts are weary about this kind of thing, potential wolves in sheeps’ clothing so to speak. Then, she rested her head on my shoulder, something I’ve never seen her do while awake.

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“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. Really.”

“But I killed you.”

“Yeah, but I got better.”

She stayed on my side like that for the rest of the night. It must have been hard on her. She didn’t know what she was doing, it was all Biologist and Rose’s thing anyways—and it went exactly to plan.

But something still wasn’t quite right to me. I was under the impression that Bunny didn’t like Biologist that much. And yet, she believed her enough to actually shoot me? That seems a bit… odd. So I just asked her.

“Hey, how did she get you to shoot me? Like, what did she tell you?”

“The first time she said that it wouldn’t kill you.”

“That’s all it took to convince you?”

“No, I said no. Then, the next time, she said that you would be happy if I did.”

“Aww, so you just wanted to make me hap—”

“No, I said no again. Then, the third time, she said that you would win if I did.”

“Win? Like a game?”

“That time I said yes..”

“...”

“You can’t lose to them. The color things.”

“The chromatic beasts?”

“Mhm. Biologist said if they kill you, then you lose. But if I killed you, it wouldn’t count. She said they have to do it, not us. I want you to win.”

“Who cares if I won? I just wanted to live! And besides, I kinda did win, didn’t I?”

She shook her head.

“It was like a tie. You both lost. And in games, you know what happens after a tie, right?”

“W-what?”

“Overtime.”

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