we watched the birds fly across the sky, sitting down on our backs and holding hands. it wasn't long before Billie turned to face me and so did i.

it was like she was staring at every detail of my face, memorising every perfect flaw, kissing me slowly in her mind but she couldn't bring herself to.

she was too lost in her mind to. Billie smirked, dragging her eyes from mine to my lips become closing them and shifting herself closer.

"i wanna nap." she rasped.

"now? on the grass?" i asked.

"yes." she replied shortly.

"alright then." i pushed myself closer towards her, feeling her arms adjust around my waist, dragging me in closer before there was no gap between us.

i closed my eyes too, Billie had buried her face in the crook of my neck, almost using my chest as a pillow. i focused on the peaceful silence which stood between us, feeling my every sense sink in.

i woke up to darkness, the starry night sky concealed the grey wisps of clouds above. the moon sat calmly in her grace, watching down upon two lovers, dreaming of each other in their fantastical slumber.

i didn't know wether to wake Billie or just hold her until she did herself. i searched through my pockets to find my phone and checked the time. it was six o'clock!

fuck.

"Billie. Billie. Billie, baby." i shook her shoulder gently. "it's six."

"what the fuck?" she asked. "how?"

"i don't know. we have to go." i told her.

Billie hadn't opened her eyes fully, yet, she was standing up. i held her hand tightly and directed her to her car.

i decided to drive back home while BOLLIE slept peacefully. in her grace, i admired her strong features, imagining what our baby would have looked like.

thats when i began bursting into tears, i continued to drive but eventually gave up when my eyes had gotten too blurry to see through.

i parked at a gas station, clutching the wheel as i buried my face into my arms. not long after, Billie woke up and tugged at my arm gently.

"baby? what's wrong?" she asked, pulling me into her arms.

i nuzzled my face into her chest and wrapped my arms around her.

crying, i spoke out, "i shouldn't have gotten that abortion."

"what? no, baby." Billie replied.

"am i a bad person?" i whispered.

"no? why would you think that?" she asked.

"i killed that innocent baby, i didn't even give them a chance." i sobbed.

"no, Luna. fuck. i wasn't there. you didn't have a choice. neither of us where ready. it wasn't your fault." Billie said, stroking my back in a rhythmic manner.

"i keep wondering what they would've looked like." i explained.

she laughed, "our babies would look cute as fuck. but Luna, darling, you have to understand it wasn't your fault. don't blame yourself for something you didn't have a choice in."

"but i did have a choice and i killed them. i should've known." i cried.

"look." Billie picked up my chin snd looked me in the eyes, "it's in the past, i wasn't there to take care of that baby and it was bad timing. you had too much on your plate and so did i. it's alright, my love."

she pecked me on the forehead and hugged me to calm me down, i stayed quiet in her embrace while she scratched my head gently. Billie insisted on driving and so i sat in her seat while she drove back home to her place.

we took a shower and got comfortable in her new bed while watching a movie. i snuggled up to her while she munched on some popcorn she found in her kitchen. it wasn't until she got a phone call when she got up and left the room.

i heard her talking on the line to someone, she had told me before that it was her brother but only got up when something hit her. i tried my best to focus on the movie but my worry from her began distracting me, all i could do was draw my attention to the words which she spoke.

watching the clock handle tick at every second make me nervous. it was mainly because she was taking a long time to return back to the room.

"what happened?" i asked Billie, as she walked in with a concerned look on her face.

"my brother had an accident. they said he crashed his bike and had to go to the hospital because he broke his collarbone and fractured his elbow." she explained.

"fuck." i whispered. "is he okay?"

"yeah, he's going to need surgery and most probably rehab. but he'll be fine." she said.

"how bad is it?" i asked.

"i'm not sure. i'm heading over there now before they put him under surgical care, so you can stay here if you want to or you can come with me." Billie replied.

"i'll come with you, i wanna make sure he's okay." i told her.

we got into Billie's car and drove down to the hospital where we talked to the receptionist. i had to tell them i was family, otherwise they wouldn't let me see him.

"you scared?" she asked.

"huh?" i said.

"are you scared to meet my parents?" she asked again.

"oh shit. they're here?" i asked.

"yup." Billie nodded as we walked over to his room.

"a little bit." i replied, fiddling with the strings on my jacket.

"you'll be fine, don't worry." she said.

when she opened the door i immediately saw Finneas sitting on the hospital bed, with a pillow propped behind his back and a blanket covering his body from the waist down. on the two sides beside him sat two chairs, Billies mom and dad, her mom had dark gingery hair and her dad had grey.

"Hey Billie!" her mom said, turning around and getting up from her chair to give her a hug.

"Hi mum, is Fin alright?" Billie asked, looking behind to see him with his eyes closed.

"yeah he's just sleeping." she replied. "who's this?"

"a friend." Billie introduced, "Luna, this is my mom, Maggie and my dad, Patrick. mom, dad, this is Luna."

"Hi." i smiled, looking at the both of them, trying my best not to make it awkward.

"ahem." Billie cleared her throat in attempt to tear apart the silence. "hey Fin."

she walked over to Finneas and i followed behind her, trying my best to say whatever i could whenever and be more included.

"hey." he woke up from his sleep. "hey Luna."

"what happened?" Billie asked.

"well, i had the pleasure of crashing my electric bike, flying over the handlebars and absolutely demolishing my collarbone as well as sustaining a radial head fracture to my right elbow. no biggie." he joked.

"thats fucked, man." she replied to him.

"how did you crash?" i asked.

"some guy popped up in front of me in this Mercedes, he was driving so fast i didn't even see him. Luckily, i was with Claudia so she called the Ambulance and i got checked pretty quickly." he explained.

Maggie tutted and sat beside Finneas' bed.

"they said he needed surgery for his collarbone because he completely damaged it in the crash." Patrick explained, showing us an x- ray they took after.

"fuck. that's so bad." Billie pointed at the torn up bone. "did they give you anything for it right now?"

"only some tylenol, but they're gonna take me in soon enough." Finneas said.

shortly after talking to Finneas, the nurses and doctors arrived to take him in, telling us that he'd be a couple of hours. we all wished him good luck before Billie and i left his room. her parents decided to wait there for him, but i didn't want to create more of an awkward atmosphere due to my presence.

"should i go?" i asked.

"no. why would you need to do that?" Billie replied to me, as we sat down in the waiting area.

"it's a little awkward being around your parents for the first time in a situation like this." i said. "don't you think?"

"nah. you'll be fine, trust me. it's not exactly the perfect time and i'm sorry for that. we can just wait out here until the surgery is over. that okay?" she asked.

"okay." i replied. "can we get some fresh air?"

"sure." Billie took my hand, walking us to the exit.

outside, i pulled out a pack of cigarettes before lighting them i asked, "is it okay if we do it here? your parents won't mind?"

"oh they will, but i'm sure they're just gonna stay inside the whole time." she replied.

"shit. i think i lost my lighter." i cursed, searching through my pockets to see that they where all empty.

"it's alright. i got you." Billie took out her lighter and lighted the cigarette i had placed perfectly between my lips.

i took a short drag, with my hands still in her locket before she took it off of me and began smoking on it.

"come on, let's sit here." she got up, sitting down on the ledge which took up space by the front of the hospital.

we smoked the whole thing, gazing up at the stars and holding hands like we where in love.

we were in love.

i kinda regretted bringing Luna along with me, only for the fact that it was a bit tense having her around my parents and only introducing her to them now. obviously i wanted her to meet them, but i think that the timings where completely off and neither of us where prepared.

we stayed outside for a few minutes and talked but that quickly ended when the sky began pouring with rain. Luna and i entered Fins room again to see mom and dad talking quietly, that stopped when we had walked in and i couldn't let my rising suspicions pass without saying anything.

i reach into my pocket to grab my wallet, pulling a ten dollar note and handing it to Luna i asked, "can you go buy us something from the vending machine?"

"yeah sure." she replied, taking the bill from my hand.

"thank you." i said, not saying a single word until after i heard the door close behind her.

i walked over to my parents and sat down on the hospital bed, they had both turned to their phones.

"so? secret girlfriend?" my mom teased.

"what?" i said.

"you know, we can sense this stuff, Billie." dad replied.

"we aren't dating. we like each other but we're not dating!" i told them both.

"she's pretty." dad said.

"i know. i should've introduced her sooner, i just wasn't thinking about it." i admitted, fiddling with my rings.

"that's alright. no rush." mom replied.

"yeah, take your time. go at your own pace." dad said.

i smiled and looked down at the floor, i didn't know what to say after that.

mom lifted up her eyebrow and laughed, "she's cute though. you should ask her out."

"i'll do it when the times right. i'm not in the right headspace." i explained.

"something wrong, Bil?" dad replied.

"no, it's just that music video for everything i wanted." i complained. "they said that the green screen wasn't working and now this. i'm gonna have to call them and reschedule."

"it'll be alright. you go home and get some rest. we'll bring Finneas home and stuff and you can call the tomorrow." mom said, rubbing my thigh.

"yeah, that'll be the right way to go about it." dad said.

"thanks." i replied. "i think it's better i stay here until the surgery is done. then i can help you guys bring him home."

"are you sure?" dad asked.

"yeah, i'd rather help." i said.

"you wanna bring Luna to stay over?" mom asked.

"i'll ask her and see what she thinks." i replied.

by that time, Luna had come back from the vending machine with several snacks in her hands for all of us.

"thank you." i said, getting up and taking a bag of chips she had bought.

"that's alright." she replied, smiling.

i passed it over to my parents, "here."

"thank you." mom and dad both said.

Luna hardly spoke and i understood why that was, i told her to go to the bathroom and that i would meet her there eventually.

"what's wrong?" she asked.

"nothing baby. i just wanted to kiss you." i smirked, kissing her on the lips as i pulled her in by the hips.

she pulled away after a few seconds and looked me in the eyes.

"what gives, Miss Eilish?" Luna teased.

"i'm going to stay here and help my parents bring Finneas home. you can either stay with us the night or i'll drive you home or back to my place." i explained.

"i don't know. i don't wanna interrupt." she said.

"interrupt? darling, you're not interrupting anything." i replied.

"but i don't want to be there when Finneas is in such a fragile state. at a time where your family will stick together a lot more. i don't wanna be the burden." Luna admitted.

"you're not going to be one. they offered. i'm fine with it. i'm sure Fin is." i explained.

"so it's okay?" she asked.

"yeah, it's completely fine." i said. "and it's a chance to know my parents a little more."

"mhmm. answer this. 'stay with us'? does that mean i get to sleep in your bed?" she asked, fiddling with my waistband.

"yes." i answered.

"the bed you've been sleeping in for years growing up?" she asked, slowly slipping her fingers into my pants.

"yes." i replied. "why?"

"no reason." Luna whispered, palming me through my pants before walking away.

i dragged her by the hand back to me, pulling her into me even closer. i began to kiss her more aggressively, her hands trailed all over my body before stopping on my hard print.

"do i get to do this?" she asked, looking up at me.

i pushed myself against the wall as she began going down on me. pulling my pants down and setting me free.