《Lazy Dragon Queen: Gaming in an Illogical World》[Vol. 7 pt. 10]
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I ended up experiencing such joy that I lost my concentration on maintaining my copies, resulting in the one left on the bed and the one left with Vala both disappearing—or rather, they got pulled back into me. Explaining how it worked was difficult. All I knew was that, technically, my first, original body basically got fused with my second copy inside of the body I had been mainly using, which was the first copy I made. In doing so, my first copy became my original body and the second copy all in one.
Anyways, when they disappeared, everybody who was still asleep got woken up and started getting ready for the beach. Vala did the same, but she finished before everybody else and came outside to wait on the others with me.
“Woah… you look like you’re in a really good mood. Did something happen? Vala asked, probably due to the massive grin I was wearing. After all, how could I not be grinning after what happened?
“One of the best things ever happened,” I answered, and it was no exaggeration.
“What?”
I placed my hand onto Vala’s shoulder, looked her in her eyes, and said, “Fluff, Vala. Fluff.”
“But… doesn’t fluff always happen?”
“Not this kind of fluff, Vala. Not this kind.”
“Why do you keep repeating part of what you said for emphasis?”
“Because sometimes the situation calls for it, Vala. Sometimes it just does.”
“I… I see. So… are you going to tell me what happened?”
I looked over toward the newest tower where both The Fluff and the tower’s head ram were both on the ground, cuddled up next to each other, panting with exhausted looks on their faces. “My hands happened, Vala. My hands.”
“Ri-right…”
“So much fluff, so little time. So much…”
“Is this semi-repeating thing gonna be a new character trait? Because if you’re gonna develop your character by getting some new traits and quirks, then I might need to step up my game. Like… instead of just loving to play vidya… loving to love to play vidya, too!”
“Wait, what’s the difference?”
“Well, one is just loving to play vidya, you know? The other is loving to love to play vidya. Instead of only loving the act playing vidya, you love that you love the act of playing vidya!”
“That sounds awfully narcissistic and like a lazy way to grow as a person.”
“Well, I am a dragon, so narcissism is part of my factory default personality. And I am lazy, in case that hasn’t been obvious yet, so it’s staying true to my character while still having character growth! Woah, it really is that easy, isn’t it? All these authors and writers struggling to have meaningful character growth when all they have to do is what I just did. Maybe I should be a writer? If I’m this good at coming up with character development on the fly, I bet I could totally write a book about some guy getting a cute harem of waifus, and everybody will praise me for actually giving the waifus character development instead of treating them all like monsters that live in tiny pocket balls who get collected and then forgotten about!”
“Wait, dragons come from factories?”
“Oh, Drake, there’s still so much you don’t know. So much you don’t know.”
“And now stealing new character traits is your character trait?!”
“Mwahaha! See?! I’m the best! I could become the world’s most famous waifu writer at this rate! Everybody from wrinkly newborns to wrinkly geezers will want to come and read my stories for my waifus!”
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“Why are they all wrinkly?!”
Vala closed her eyes, grabbed her chin, and then looked me straight in the eyes with a confident, cool expression. “Life starts wrinkly, and so life must return to being wrinkly.”
“Then where are your wrinkles?”
Vala took a step back, that confident demeanor now totally gone. “U-uh… dragons—dragons don’t wrinkle. I’m—I’m forever seventeen, yo!”
“If you’re going to lie about your age, don’t make yourself so young that I’m going to get in trouble!”
“For-forever nineteen?”
I let out a sigh and wiped my hand against my forehead to collect any of the dramatic sweat there. “Thank you. I don’t need the FBI busting down my door.”
“Wait… the FBI. That gives me an idea. We could have an FBI-chan! A cute waifu with a big gun who goes around busting down doors due to misunderstandings before shooting the doggo sisters, but it’s okay because it’s just a water gun!”
“I know we’re both basically gods at this point, but I still feel like I just got put onto a list for that.”
“First time?”
“It isn’t for you?!”
“Drake, I’m a dragon and basically every government in the world knows about me. I’m like… on so many lists. And that’s before you even consider the lists I’m on because of my search history…”
“I… I think you’re developing too many new character traits too quickly.”
“Don’t worry, that just means I’m evolving. And because I’m a dragon girl, that means I’m a monster girl. So that means I’m a rapidly evolving monster girl! Between my rapid evolutions and developing character traits, readers are going to absolutely eat this up! Maybe I should start one of those things where people can pledge to give me money every month and then I keep on teasing them with endless cliffhanger chapters to keep sucking money out of their wallets…”
“I feel like you’re the one in an exceptionally good mood now.”
“Well, duh. I got to spend the morning sitting in my husbando’s lap playing vidya. That’s like, every cute dragon girl waifu’s dream.”
“Makes sense. Anyways,” I looked Vala over and finally noticed that she was… significantly more covered up than usual. Normally, she wore one of my oversized shirts, some shorts underneath them, and… that was basically it. Sometimes a bra. Sometimes panties. Other than those, she basically didn’t wear anything else. Yet, this time, she… had on sweatpants that covered her entire legs, a hoodie that covered up all of her torso and arms, and sunglasses currently sitting on her forehead. “You realize we’re going to the beach, right?”
“Well, yeah. Why do you think I’m dressed like this?”
“For fall and pumpkin spice lattes.”
“Ooh… the basic side of me thinks that sounds really nice right now…”
“Same.”
“Let’s have pumpkin spice lattes at the beach.”
“Deal, but only if you explain how you think any of what you’re wearing is appropriate for the beach.”
“Drake… I’m a professional gamer girl. A NEET. The stereotypical gamer gremlin of the harem. The sun is going to like… melt me if I go out in it with what I usually wear. Do you want me to melt?”
“You already do every time I kiss your forehead.”
“Heh… hehehe… forehead kisses. The best kisses.”
“Well, if you’re going to dress like that, at least use some magic to make it so you don’t overheat.”
“It’s okay. I’m a dragon. I’m immune to heat.”
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“Do you understand how much that contradicts what you’ve said before?”
“Oh. Right. Plot holes. Uh… it’s okay, I’m a dragon, I’m immune to heat when I need to be and am not immune to heat when I… need to be not immune?”
“You’re lucky I love you.”
“Heh, I know.”
I pushed Vala’s sunglasses down so that I could kiss her forehead just in time for the front door of the house to swing open. With the forehead kiss planted and Vala giggling from it like usual, I looked up to see who the first to come out from the house would be.
In typical Delphi fashion, she was the first and most energetic to burst out from the house… and it was an incredibly dangerous sight when she did. Dangerous as in, “nothing is going to get done ever again if I look at her for too long.” She had a very normal looking bikini that matched the blue tone of her hair, but… Delphi was the one wearing it. Delphi already managed to look lewd no matter what she was wearing just because of how her body was, and the bikini only amplified that to an even greater degree than ever before. She was so… bouncy.
And if Delphi was at the extreme end of the bouncy scale, then the one who was at the extreme opposite end came out right after her. Cami came out wearing what looked like some sort of one-piece bathing suit that was pretty familiar in that I recognized it as being a cash shop skin in multiple MMOs. It was supposed to be some sort of Japanese swimsuit if I remembered correctly. She also came with an inflatable inner tube already sitting around her waist as she refused to look in Delphi’s direction.
Then, of course, where there were two of the dog sisters, there was the third. Lavi came out with a violet and black bikini that just looked, honestly, cool. It showed off just how toned she was without being overly sexual, and the top reminded me almost of a sports bra rather than a bikini top. And yes, her left arm was still wrapped up in the usual bandages.
And then… there was Window. Window came out from the house… as an informational status window. Only, she positioned herself vertically instead so that her long side was pointing up, and… she had a bikini on over her window. It was a bit hard to tell what the text on her window was supposed to be due to it being sideways, but I just knew that it was some sort of smug face and mocking.
Clawdia came next. She was also in a bikini, but it was very… royal. It almost looked like it was more of a dress than a bikini, and it even had this long, transparent cloth that covered up most of her legs. However, it was kind of hard to take her seriously when also had floaties on around her ankles and wrists. She must have been one of those cats who wasn’t good with water, though she did wear them with confidence.
As for Honey, she stepped out of the house… just wearing a normal, black bikini. Given how stylish she could be at times, it was pretty surprising to see her wear that. Whenever she chose to give a fuck or not seemed completely random, but that made sense. In true honey badger fashion, she didn’t give a fuck… and that included not giving a fuck about not giving a fuck. Inconsistently giving fucks only made her even more of a honey badger as far as I was concerned.
Next came a duo stepping out from the house together: Valkyria and Eliza. I wasn’t sure what to expect from them, but I probably should have expected what I ended up seeing. They were both wearing matching, striped swimsuits that looked like they were stolen directly from the 40s. They weren’t exactly appealing at all by my standards, but… with the way that Valkyria’s body filled hers out, she almost reached the same territory that Delphi did where she could probably wear anything and it would be sexual. Eliza, though… she was using her miniaturized form, so there wasn’t anything I could find sexual about her in general. She did look adorable, though.
This left three women with Chloe being the next one to come out. When she stepped out from the house, I saw her sporting a designer swimsuit that looked like it was never designed to actually get wet. It was lined with fluffy wool around all of the edges that looked incredibly soft, and it made her both exceptionally cute and arousing, but… I already got my fill of fluff for the day via The Fluff and the rams’ leader, so it didn’t have as strong of an effect on me as it could have had I not already filled up my daily fluff meter.
Next came the two latest additions: Mariet and Claire. Mariet’s outfit looked like a combination of a maid’s uniform and a bikini, leaning more toward being a bikini, while Claire—well, Claire was more similar to Vala than any of the others. Claire had on a long, black shawl that covered up almost her entire figure, but it was just barely transparent enough for me to see some of a bikini’s outline behind it. She also had on a pair of sunglasses and was holding an umbrella to help block the sun, which made sense seeing as how she was a vampire bat, not just a bat. Though, neither her nor Vala had consistent logic seeing as how they both managed to do well in the sun plenty of times before.
When I thought it was all over… one last person came out from the house.
Luca.
Luca came out from the house shouting, “Papa! It’s done! Tabitha finished it!”
And what Tabitha apparently finished for Luca…
Was a rectangle.
It reminded me of the swimsuit that Cami was wearing, but rectangular. It didn’t form around her body or anything like that. It was just… a rectangle. She was wearing a rectangle.
Yet.
Luca might have been the youngest out of everybody, and she might have been wearing a rectangle, but at least she didn’t need floaties.
“I’ll bite you, nya,” Clawdia said, glaring at me with her float-wearing arms crossed over her chest.
She must have been able to tell what I was thinking since I kept on looking at Luca and then her floaties.
More importantly, with all of my wives and my daughter ready, we could finally go to the beach, and I could finally give my wives all the fanservice that they deserved.
And then we could go back to fighting so that I could get even more wives.
Making more children so that Luca could have some friends and siblings also needed added to the list of things to do. Especially if it involved my wives wearing their new swimsuits.
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